So you’ve made it this far. You like what you’ve read in his online dating profile and everything is checking out. Now, there’s only one thing left to do; get the conversation started. Don’t worry, it’s a lot easier than it seems. After all, you don’t have to be spontaneous or quick on your delivery. You can take all the time you might need to write a gripping email that will engage him.
Here are Nine tips for snagging him with email
1) Write a clever subject line. On many local dating sites your subject line is your first impression, so you need to make it pop! The key is to somehow relate to him using various approaches. Perhaps he’s a foodie as well. If so, consider writing, “from a fellow foodie” or if you know he’s into art try something like, “art event on a first date?” Pick something that really stood out to you and use it to your advantage to capture his attention.
2) Personalize it. Once again, select specific elements from his profile and incorporate them. For example, if he says that he’s optimistic and has a sense of humor then mention that those things are important to you. Perhaps you like his smile – mention that as well and even add a smiley face emoticon.
3) Don’t write a novel. That’s not to say keep it short. Though he might be interested in your life story, chances are he doesn’t want to hear it all at once. Leave the longer conversation for the first date. The goal in writing this email should be to pique his interest and leave some mystery so he responds. Writing too much in an initial email could mean more effort for him to reply and he might put your message on the backburner as a result. Keep it simple and don’t over think it. Try to focus on a couple of things that are important and let the conversation grow from there.
4) Ask a question. He will be more likely to respond if you ask him a question – this could be anything. Make it lighthearted or serious to get the conversation started.
5) Show your personality. Everyone loves someone with personality. This makes dating more fun. Show him a slice of who you are in your tone and delivery. If you’re soft spoken and shy, there’s nothing wrong with mentioning that. If you have a sense of humor, crack a few jokes. Perhaps you have a type-A personality. If so, there’s nothing wrong with sharing a story about your personality type. Just make sure to be you and be honest and authentic. He will appreciate it a lot more than receiving a generic message.
6) Don’t sound desperate. No one wants to date someone who is needy, so try to keep your email casual. Try not to come on too strong, otherwise he might label you as needy or desperate. The first email is just an introduction and exploration to see if you two are even on the same page. And remember, you are just as much the chooser as he is the picker.
7) Be clear in your message. The last thing you want to do is confuse him. You have all the time in the world to string together thoughts and ideas of why you’re writing to him. Take your time, relax and have fun with it. Just make sure that your email flows and it’s relevant to something that he can relate to. Communicating a strong, clear, and concise message says a lot about someone and he will notice the effort you’ve taken in contacting him.
8) Use bold text. Not everywhere. Just the main points you’re trying to get across. For example, if you really want him to know that you love dogs, write I really love dogs too and he’ll know just how much dogs mean to you. Do this for anything you might be passionate about.
9) Reference date ideas – Mention a few local activities that you are into, see what kind of responses you get. Positive reactions to these outings could be good indications for where you might end up going on a first date.
We hope these tips will lead to more clicks that lead to better conversations. Good luck!
Just remember that love is always the answer, so the question becomes, how do you find it if you’re dating over 50? We’re offering an opportunity to win a free eHarmony 3 or 6 month membership. eHarmony gives singles a clear advantage, matching you with only deeply compatible singles! Lots of people are beating the odds by betting on love. And if you register now at Cyber Dating Expert you could win a FREE eHarmony account. Sounds like a win-win while looking for love online.
Contest runs from November 13, 2014 – December, 13 2014
Since swiping right and left has become part of our digital vocabulary, those enjoying or obsessing over their Tinder account on their mobile phones might need a bit more help on how to optimize their Tinder profiles.
With over 1 billion matches and 100 marriages to date, isn’t it time you tried Tinder?
This infographic shows two active Tinder users who experimented to increase the number of matches on the hottest mobile app on the planet.
Here are some tips on how to have the best Tinder profile.
1. Swipe right on every profile to increase the chances of a match.
2. Log on daily.
3. Ditch the group shots and make it all about you.
4. Have a great bio!
If you need some hand holding on how to make Tinder work for you so you can find a quality person to date, contact us for details.
Have you met anyone on Tinder?
Read our blog for more mobile dating and Tinder dating advice.
Meet Robyn and Richard who met on Match.com. Their cyber love story is an inspiration to all that if you stick with the online dating process, you can eventually find the love of your life.
Robyn’s Cyber Love Story:
I was divorced and living in Los Angeles for nine years and dating in LA wasn’t easy. I was dating on and off for a few years online. I really wasn’t sure that I was going to meet someone. Like many, I got frustrated with the process, but I had met a woman in Los Angeles who went on 300 online dates! On date 300 she met ‘the one’ and they’ve been together for ten years. That gave me a lot of hope, but still the thought of 300 dates terrified me.
What really kept me going is a man I met on match and dated briefly. Although we didn’t go the distance we became the best of friends. Within a year, he met his life partner on Match. That gave me even more hope.
So I joined Match in January and had been searching within 12 miles of where I lived. I know that’s not very far, but with the traffic in Los Angeles, it seemed realistic to me. When my male friend, whose girlfriend lived in the Valley suggested that I expand my search to a town in the Valley called Woodland Hills, (I live near the beach), I found the zip code and typed it into the search to view men I would have never considered before. I didn’t even know where that town was.
Then I saw Richard’s photo and profile in July. I was brave and decided to write to him first. Ladies listen up. Guys really like it when you write to them. I sent a simple email, which said, “Hey I read your profile. Sounds like we might have a few things in common. Check out my profile and let me know what you think.”
He emailed me back right away. We set up a phone date for the next day and it went to voicemail.
We met three days later and I remember getting out of the car and taking a deep breath and saying to myself, ‘Ok. Here we go. I hope he looks remotely like his picture.”
Richard was waiting for me in the restaurant wearing a suit and a tie. He looked rather dashing. I thought, hmm. I might have just met my future husband, and it turned out that it did!
I never thought someone of this guy’s caliber would be waiting for me at the end of the journey. I cannot even say how lucky I feel! If someone had invented the perfect someone for me, Richard would be it.
Richard’s Cyber Love Story:
I had been a member of Match for about four years and dated lots of people. Most were the typical one-and-done dates.
I saw Robyn’s profile in my daily matches and read her bio. I was attracted to her, but I was intimidated by her experience as a newscaster and reporter. She had been living in New York and had traveled around the world. She appeared to be sophisticated and I thought I wouldn’t live up to her expectations, so I didn’t write to her.
I was very thrilled when I received her email. In our first conversation, we had a lot to say to each other. I felt very comfortable with her when we met for a drink. She looked like her photos and like every guy, I was happy about that. We spent four hours talking and I knew I wanted to ask her out again. From our second date, we became exclusive and I actually knew after about 3-4 months of dating that I wanted to marry her.
We talked about marriage and our future, but Robyn had it in her head that a couple needed to be together for a year or two, so she said she’d think about it.
We moved in together and got a new apartment after 9 months of dating and then on our one-year anniversary of our first date, we were married on the beach in Malibu and are set for a Europe honeymoon.
Congratulations to Robyn and Richard who prove that you can find love online.
Do you have an online dating story to share? Send us your story and you might get featured in our Cyber Love Story series.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and share your story at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Rather than focus on only one Cyber Love Song this week, I couldn’t resist sharing my top 10 Favorite Halloween Songs with you to enjoy all week long.
From Spooky to Thriller, with Witchy Woman in between, I hope you enjoy these seasonal favorites and share some of yours as well.
1.Spooky – Classics IV – One of my favorites, because it’s about love and romance.
2. Witchy Woman – The Eagles – The mystery of the woman in this song made it a hit for the Eagles. Enjoy this live version.
3. Monster Mash – Bobby “Boris” Pickett - You might not know who the artist is, but you’ll certainly recognize the song. No Halloween party would be complete without this seasonal favorite.
4. Witch Queen of New Orleans – Redbone - Another personal favorite that I enjoyed playing on the radio. You’ll be humming Marie, Marie, da voodoo veau, she’ll put a spell on you.
5. Ghostbusters – Ray Parker Jr. – The title theme from the soundtrack film will fill you with laughter on Halloween
6.Black Magic Woman – Santana – This song by Carlos Santana will always will be an incredibly sexy and classic tune that will never go out of style.
7. I put a Spell on You ? Credence Clearwater Revival (CCR) – This bluesy song is one of my favorites.
8. Frankenstein – The Edgar Winter Group - No vocals, but the title alone merits its inclusion on the list this Halloween.
9. Wherewolves of London – Warren Zevon – Although he is resting in peace, the Wherewolves will always be around to help us howl during Halloween and Warren continues to make us laugh.
10.Thriller – Michael Jackson - No Halloween would be complete without the excitement of this thrilling b bestselling song from the late King of Pop.
Honorable mention: Time Warp from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Do you have any other favorites to add to this list? Best wishes for a happy, spooky, fun and flirty Halloween from your friends at CyberDatingExpert.com
Flirting via text messages is the best digital foreplay and is guaranteed to keep your guy attached to his mobile phone waiting for the sound of your custom chime tone.
Between emoji’s and xoxo’s, here are 20 text messages guaranteed to reach his digital heart for every relationship stage.
- Thinking of you. Everyone wants to feel like they are special and thinking of you is a sweet way to make him smile. Don’t be surprised if he sends back a quick smiley face.
- Good Morning Handsome. This text goes right to the heart of his ego and will warm his heart throughout the day. Don’t be surprised if he sends a text that says, “Good morning beautiful” or “Good morning gorgeous.”
- You were hot last night! You can never go wrong the morning after when you tell your guy how hot he was in bed. He’ll be scheduling the next date for an encore ASAP. Don’t be surprised if he sends a text that says, “smokin hot.”
- Guess what I’m wearing? Whether you’re in sexy lingerie or just got out of the shower, the visual of what you’re wearing won’t matter. He’ll be thinking about how to undress you while staring at his phone. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “What color?”
- I long for your delicious kisses. Kissing is first base and we all know what happens next. If he thinks you believe he’s an amazing kisser, he’ll be ready to come home to press his lips against yours in a New York moment. Don’t be surprised if he replies with a smiley face or an xoxo.
- I have a feeling tonight will be delicious. The ambiguity of this text is what makes it so exciting. Whether you’re cooking up a spicy dish in the kitchen or are saving yourself for dessert, he’ll know you’re flirting big time. Don’t be surprised if he responds with a smiley face or a text that says, “can’t wait!”
- What are you up to tonight? When your guy is hanging out at the office and realizes he has no plans for the evening, a casual get together with you just might be a great way to end the day. This text doesn’t necessarily mean you’re looking for a booty call. You may just want to catch a film or watch episodes of “Breaking Bad” on Netflix. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “Not much. And you?” This is your cue to suggest getting together for a spontaneous date or adding a future date to the calendar.
- I had a dream about you last night. This flirty text will let his imagination run wild. Who wouldn’t want someone dreaming about them? He’ll be fantasizing about details of your dream and might lose track of time before he responds. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “and how was it?” or “cool” or “sweet.”
- Wait until you see what I’m wearing tonight! Playing dress up can spice up your relationship. Whether he fantasizes about you wearing your cheerleader outfit or you have some new hot lingerie, his mind will be wandering all day. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “can’t wait!”
- Last night was amazing. [wait for his response and then type] Ready for a repeat performance? When your guy rocks it in the bedroom, he really wants to know that he has pleased you as well. Letting him know just how amazing it was will be the perfect morning text. When he responds with, “I know” or “sure was” then follow it up with the repeat performance request. He’ll be scheduling you on his calendar in a digital heartbeat.
- I can’t stop thinking about you. You know that feeling you both get in a new relationship when you think you might be smitten? Now’s the time to let him know, rather than keeping him waiting. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “me too!”
- Last night was fun. Can’t wait to see you again. Early on in a relationship, a guy’s got to get some feedback ladies. There’s no better way to capture his digital heart than through his phone. This one’s clean and appropriate and gives him the confidence that you’ll say yes if he asks you out again. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “I had a blast” or “great time.”
- How did you sleep last night? Regardless of your relationship status, everyone imagines falling asleep in the arms of their crush someday. This sweet pillow talk text lets him know you’re thinking of him and is a great way to start the day. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “would have been better with you” or “not bad” or “ok” or “good….and you?”
- Hey you! If you’re still in the friend zone with someone, here’s a casual text just to let them know you’re thinking about them. It’s similar to “thinking of you” but a bit more casual. Don’t be surprised if he writes back with, “hey!” Guys are simple. One word responses suit them quite well.
- Miss you. [wait for his response and type] Wish you were here. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. When you or your beau are traveling, chances are he will miss your presence. These affectionate texts will warm his heart. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “Me too.”
- I’ve been thinking about you all day. I know you don’t want to be obsessive, but if you’ve already exchanged a few text messages with your guy, why not reach out after lunch and let him know he’s on your mind. Don’t be surprised if he responds with a smiley face.
- Can you sneak away for coffee? While you might not be having an illicit affair with your beau, there’s something sexy and mysterious about sneaking away from work to see your sweetie for 15 minutes. If he’s free, don’t be surprised if he responds with, “sure.” Then it’s up to you to suggest the locale.
- Good night and sleep tight xo. Sending a good night text with an xo is as close to saying “I love you” as it gets for those who don’t text those three special words. Don’t be surprised if he responds with “nite” or “xo.”
- Sweet dreams. Xo. Sure dreams would be sweeter if you were in them, so why not send him into dreamland with you on his mind. Don’t be surprised if he responds with “xo” or “you too.”
- Trying to fall asleep…can’t stop thinking about you. When you’re not falling asleep in his arms, sometimes you can get restless and your mind will wander. No need to fret. Let him know that you can’t get to sleep. Chances are he might still be awake as well and a little late night flirting with texts back-and-forth might just be the medicine you need for a good night’s sleep.
Other Flirting Tips:
1. Use spell-check before pushing the send button. Often the auto-correct feature will kick in and your text might be misinterpreted, or worse yet, even be offensive.
2. Don’t send a sext or nude photo. Remember, your guy might be rushing to a meeting and his cell phone might be sitting on his desk. Other times your text might be sent to the wrong person in error if you’re sending multiple text messages. Remember, if you wouldn’t want his boss or co-workers seeing your text, it isn’t worth pressing the send button.
3. Keep it simple. This is where “less is more” works the best. Leave the novel at home as it screams heavy drama and keep your texts short, so the back and forth digital banter can begin.
4. Remember, you’re interrupting his busy workday and he might not be able to respond right away if he’s in a meeting. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t seen your text and is feeling quite distracted with thoughts of you. Don’t angst over the response time. If he’s into you, you’ll be hearing the chime of his text on your phone within a few hours.
5. Know that a man is visual and reactive. He’ll enjoy seeing a cute photo of the object of his affection and will want to brag about you to his friends, so start texting your smiling face to your guy today.
How are you using text messages to flirt?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.