The June issue of Women’s Health magazine is now available on the newsstands and we’re jumping for joy at Cyber-Dating Expert headquarters!
Besides being a fun bikini issue with Gwyneth Paltrow on the cover, if you check out page 38, you’ll see a feature on niche dating sites, where it’s an honor to be quoted as the online dating expert in this fun quiz on spotting the fake niche dating site.
So if you’re a fan or Wyldfire, JSwipe, Wingman, or Puppy Partners, or aren’t sure what a niche site is, check out this article and please go buy the print edition filled with fabulous articles for the summer.
Highlights of the Pop Quiz are below. Did you know the answer?
You meet a guy and the chemistry is off the charts. You exchange numbers and start texting regularly. You get in a groove, start dating IRL or just have a regular daily text exchanges and POOF after a few weeks or a month, he disappears without warning.
Ghosting, the cowardly phenomenon where a woman or a man go from really into you to disappearing completely without an explanation is something I’m getting more and more emails about every day.
I have been on ten or more dates with this guy. We both agreed to see how things go. We both admitted we are into each other and we are not dating other people, however- we are not exclusive.
He had suddenly pulled away without warning after consistently talking for 6 weeks or so.
I am in agony right now as everything was going so well. I know men lie, but why did he tell me he saw a future with me when he didn’t mean it!?
My Dear Harriet:
In the world of dating, it takes time to get to know someone.
Six weeks can be a typical time for someone to decide to move a relationship forward to become exclusive.
I’m so sorry that you’re in pain, but did he really lie? He was feeling good about the relationship in the early honeymoon days so he projected to the future because if felt good.
You both decided to give it a shot and for some reason he wasn’t sure. You say you weren’t exclusive, which allows both of you to keep your options open. Now I haven’t spoken to your guy so I don’t know if he pulled away because he was getting too close or pulled away because he met someone else. He may have unilaterally decided that the two of you didn’t have enough in common to take it to the next level. He may have been hung up on an ex, not ready, or gone back with her. You didn’t say if you slept with him or not. There are to many unknowns here.
My best advice is to move forward with your life and start dating again. You might be surprised to find someone you even like more than the guy who did the pull-back.
However, you should know that sometimes guys need their space. They go into their caves to think and need time to decide if they miss you or not. It’s true that men miss you when you’re apart. The worst thing you can do if this is the case, is to chase after him wanting an answer, closure, or call him a liar. He was feeling it then. He isn’t feeling it now or may be confused.
Just live your life and be open to meeting someone else and realize that this is the typical course of dating. If he comes back, it means he took the time to think about a deeper relationship with you. If he didn’t, it was a six-week casual relationship. Think about it. You might have been the one after six weeks that had a change of heart about him!
Sure it stinks when someone disappears and you’re a victim of ghosting. It’s wrong, but very common these days. People don’t like to have a confrontation so they ghost. Keep me posted and do something special for yourself. Exercise or go to a movie with a friend.
By the time he comes back, if he comes back, you might no longer be interested in him.
I’ve been seeing this guy for three weeks now who I met online and we’ve gone out about 5 times. He seemed to be really interested in getting to know me and he sent me texts every day. Suddenly out of nowhere the texts came to a screeching halt. Not one phone call, no explanation. I guess I’ve been ghosted, but why?
My Dear Robin:
Three weeks is nothing in the dating world. If you met him online, chances are he’s still dating online and you both have active Internet dating or mobile dating profiles. He was probably playing the field, while you put all of your eggs in one basket.
If he’s going to ghost you (and boy do I hate when that happens), I’d rather it be sooner than later before your heart was completely invested. Chances are he met someone else or even already had a girlfriend when he first started contacting you and was testing the water. We unfortunately live in a world with too many options these days. One uncertainty leads to logging on to a Tinder profile.
Sure an explanation would have been good, but in today’s digital world, texting plays a huge part in the courting process. Since he didn’t send you a text to say, “Sorry, I don’t think we’re a fit,” he just may plan on reaching out again in a few weeks after he sees what else is out there. Hopefully by then, you’ll have met someone and won’t have any interest in the disappearing ghosting guy.
Keep me posted.
Have you ever been ghosted?
Send your dating questions and share your stories at CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Need help with your Tinder profile? Find out how our Swiping Right program will help you find your dream date.
As Mother’s Day approaches, it’s time to take a look at the online dating behaviors of single moms and what their children think of their dates. If you think being a single mom reduces your chance of finding love online, this is a misconception among many others. Read on.
According to dating site PlentyOfFish, a survey of their users revealed that 44% of women dating are line are single moms and their reasons for going online and what they’re looking for may surprise you. With almost 28% of single moms admitting they’ve been dating online for over three years, this survey states that they might not be looking for a knight in white armor.
What’s exciting for single moms, it is turns out they’re finding love 10% faster than women without children at home. Does this mean you should post photos of your children in your online dating profile? As an online dating expert and dating coach, I’m not a fan of having your children appear as your primary profile photo, but believe it’s important to state within the text portion of your profile that you’re proud of your children (and list their ages). It turns out that an overwhelming 76% of single moms do indeed mention their children and/or post photos of them in their profiles.
According to POF:
Like many online daters, single mothers are looking for partners they can relate to. Accordingly, they are 3.4 times more likely to date a single father than childless women are. In contrast, single moms are half as likely to date childless men as women with no children are.
But what do the kids have to say about their mom’s dates?
According to POF, 63% of moms said they’d consider their child’s disapproval of a potential partner as a major red flag or a deal-breaker.
Other key findings include:
- 1.2% are interested in meeting a clone of their ex, while 60.28% said they didn’t have a type.
- 51.81% will introduce their date to their children once they are in a monogamous relationship.
- 54.98% said that with their busy schedule, there was no time to meet anyone anywhere else.
- 53.99% said that online dating allowed them to get to know someone without sacrificing time with their kid(s).
- 56.97% are dating online to find a partnership, as compared to less than 1% who are looking for financial support.
- 62.29% will go online whenever they can find a spare second, followed by weekday nights when their kids are asleep.
On this Mother’s Day, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. To find out how you can have an Irresistible Online Dating Profile, visit CyberDatingExpert.com and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.
How do you create an irresistible online dating profile and protect yourself from being a victim of a ‘Catfish?’
We tackled these questions and more in a radio interview on “The Night Side” on AM1010 in Toronto with Barb DiGiulio.
From word-count to safety; photos to emails; long-distance relationships and more, listen in to find out how you can be more successful with Internet dating.
Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has helped singles find love online for over 20 years. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and visit CyberDatingExpert.com.
Our friends at Match teamed up with Wella for a #LoveisintheHair survey to of online daters on Match to find out what the guys and gals had to say about women and their hair color and styles.
Check out this fun Infographic and maybe try a new hairstyle for your next date to mix it up.
Some of the key findings are:
- Blondes have more long-term relationships.
- Brunettes have more first dates.
- Almost half of the women think that sleek and straight hair makes them feel more confident.
- Almost half of the single men found women with curly hair to be more irresistible
- 1/4 of single men find women with straight-sleek hair to be more wife-worthy
- 1/4 of single men find women with hair in braids to be more sporty
Does this mean you need to run to the hair salon and change your color and style? I say no. The number one attraction to a man will always be confidence, so ladies…smile be confident, be happy both on the Internet and offline and he’ll be enjoying his date with you.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for online dating advice.