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Music Monday – Tom Petty Here Comes My Girl

Oct 20th

Fotolia 22081778 XS 150x150Happy Music Monday and a special Happy Birthday wish to Tom Petty who’s on tour now with the Heartbreakers.

This week we’re featuring Petty’s song, Here Comes My Girl.

After a long day of work or a difficult day, coming home to that one special woman who melts your heart says it all.

It’s romantic, loving and who wouldn’t want to be that girl?

Thank you Tom for all of the musical memories. We hope you’re enjoying your birthday.

Do you have a favorite Cyber Love Song?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

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What Gift Should I Get My New Girlfriend for Her Birthday

Oct 9th

giftbox 150x150Gift giving when you’re in a new relationship can easily move your status to “It’s Complicated” if you aren’t sure what to do.

Overwhelm her with 5-dozen roses on a third date will send her running for the hills. Giving her a card and a box of pharmacy candies may put you in the dog house. What should one do?

A recent gentleman wrote to me needing help on selecting a birthday gift for his new girlfriend of two months.

He met her on OKCupid and she actually sent me him an email first, which was rare for her and somewhat out of character because she admits to being shy.  The funny thing is, if he came across her profile he would have considered her “out of his league” and probably wouldn’t have contacted her .

Read on.

Hi Julie,

I’m 2 months into a relationship with a great woman (seeing each other now 1-2 times a week). My birthday was last week and I mentioned that I don’t usually make a big deal about it. I was sick, but she brought me soup and two cupcakes because “she wasn’t sure what my favorite flavor was”, I loved the sentiment.

My question is; Her birthday is next week and I’ve found a reasonably priced necklace ($80.00) very similar to one on her pinterest board and from a store she’s mentioned regularly. I’d love to get her the necklace along with the obligatory nice dinner, but I’m worried about making her feel awkward about the expense. Any thoughts?

The New Guy

Hi New Guy!

Thanks for your email and congratulations on your new relationship.

Birthdays can be stressful and confusing early on in a relationship.  If someone shows up with a card and candy, it might not be viewed as very romantic or thoughtful. If someone goes over-the-top and buys something extravagant, it can cause an unneeded pressure on the woman.

I think your suggestion of dinner and a necklace that looks like one you’ve viewed on her Pinterest board shows her that you are paying attention to things she likes (not many guys take the time to look at their date’s Pinterest boards) and adds a personal touch, since it shows that you listen to her when she mentions stores she likes. Because the gift is under $100 and within your budget, it isn’t over-the-top and I’m sure she would appreciate it, along with a romantic dinner to celebrate her special day.

I don’t think she’d feel awkward at all, but she’ll realize that you’re someone worth having in her life because you made the gift about her and not about yourself.

On a personal note, when I was at the 2-month mark with my boyfriend, he had the same dilemma. He didn’t know what to get me as a gift, but knew he wanted to do something special for me. Excited about our new relationship,  he selected a necklace with a mutual friend whom I had mentioned I really liked. The best part is that he picked it out on his own and loved it too!

It was a silver key on a chain, which is a popular look now. He selected a very simple one, not one filled with diamonds and I still cherish it today as something personal and intimate.

I think you’re right on track and your new girlfriend will be happy with the way you celebrate her birthday together. I know you think you’re a lucky guy to have found her, but she’s a lucky girl as well.

Keep me posted.

Wishing you much love and joy,

Julie

Do you have a dating question for Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.com. Want to stay in touch? Sign up for the Free Cyber Dating Expert Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

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#MusicMonday Cyber Love Song – Keep on Loving You

Oct 6th

Fotolia 22081778 XS 150x150Happy Music Monday.

To start of the week, we’d like to wish Kevin Cronin, lead singer of REO Speedwagon a very Happy Birthday.

So let’s put on the DJ hat and share the perfect song for our Cyber Love Song of the Week, “Keep on Loving You,” a song that reached #1.

Turn up the volume and hug your loved one today.

Do you have a favorite romantic love song?

Listen to our other Cyber Love Songs.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

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MusicMonday – Grand Funk Railroad – I’m Your Captain

Sep 29th

musicalheart2 150x150Happy Music Monday.

It’s time to put the DJ hat back on for our Cyber Love Song of the Week.

This week marks Mark Farner’s birthday. The lead singer/guitarist of Grand Funk Railroad’s classic song, “I’m Your Captain/Closer to Home” is the longest song he’s ever recorded at 10:09.

It’s the title track of their third album and we’re proudly featuring it as our Cyber Love Song of the Week.

Are you ready to turn up the volume and hum along?

Do you have a favorite Cyber Love Song?

Click here to listen to our other Cyber Love Songs.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

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Online Dating: Should I Ask a Woman Her True Age

Sep 29th

onlinedatingage 300x225Dear Julie,

I have an online dating question and would love your opinion on this recent emailed dating exchange of mine, on OK Cupid…

Me: How old are you really? icon smile (Does anyone here tell the truth about his/her age? I mean, besides me.)

Her: How old am I really? I won’t read into this, I’ll just go with it: I’m really not whatever it was I said I was, ha! My photos are recent; age is not something by which I live my life; and I often get mistaken for my daughters’ sister when we’re out together. I don’t look 26 but I don’t look or live like I’m the 50-something I copped to in my profile.

(How’s that for evading the answer? icon smile Her profile says she’s 51, but she obviously is not comfortable revealing her exact age to me. Should I drop it or press it? Is it too sensitive a topic to expect the truth, even if I myself am truthful? I’ve met women before who’ve revealed they’re as much as 15 years older than the ages they’ve indicated on their dating profiles. And I’m not comfortable or sufficiently evolved enough to date someone who’s 66, even if she is mistaken for her daughter. Thoughts?)

Here’s my take on his dating dilemma.

Women are often very sensitive and about their age and will lie about their age to fit into a search on their Internet dating profiles. Call it a double-standard, but they expect the man to be honest about his age.

Most women won’t even engage in conversation when questioned and will evade the subject. They’ll get offended if you ask what her age is, so I’d say it’s an off-limits subject early on.

When a man used to ask me about my age, I would smile and be coy and say, “It’s not polite to ask a lady her age.”  This practice goes back to early etiquette days,  long before online dating became part of everyday life for singles. Even my grandmother wouldn’t reveal her true age when asked.

Know that physical attraction and chemistry are important. Either a guy will be attracted to someone’s actual photos or to the woman when he meets her in person, or he won’t. I say you should never judge someone by their age and respect her desire to be private about her age until she is comfortable in sharing it. Many women past the age of 40 believe they need to lie about their age to attract a man. They realize that men are interested in dating younger, at least while searching online.

I think your potential date was being polite and sweet by saying, “I’ll just go with it.” If her photos are recent it should be enough. She obviously wants to continue to communicate with you and tried to set a boundary where it comes to age.

Think about how disappointed you would be if you were really attracted to someone, thought you both had a lot in common, had a friendly banter via email, and a phone call or two. It looked promising until…. you asked her if her age was accurate. She gets upset, cancels the date and you never meet.

Often if you meet someone out at a party or gathering and strike up a conversation, you won’t ask her what her age is, because it doesn’t matter. I’m not promoting lying whatsoever, as I encourage everyone to be honest about their age. If they fudge, I recommend they post something in their profile or at least tell someone on the first date the truth.

My best advice is to drop the age question. You don’t know that she’s 66 and you don’t know that she’s 55.  You just know that you might be interested in her and are curious about her real age. If you meet and connect, eventually she’ll tell you the truth about her age. If you’re smitten with her, you won’t mind if it’s 5 years more than you had originally thought. Give her a chance and if you think she’s pretty, let her know. Women love to be flattered and don’t like to feel like their being interviewed or in a deposition.

Julie

Do you have a dating and relationship question for Julie Spira? Submit your questions here:

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and like at on Facebook.

Photo credit: Fotolia

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