In the News

Dating Advice – Are We Dating or Just Hanging Out

Mar 26th

radioshowlogo4 150x150In this week’s “Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert” post, we’re going to tackle the issue of the relationship status.

It’s getting very blurry these days to determine whether you’re actually dating someone, or just hanging out as friends.

A 25-year old college student told me that she’s never been more confused about dating in her life.

After chatting and texting with a guy she met online for several weeks, he sent her a text to say, “Hey, let’s hang out tonight.”

So, what does hanging out mean?

Hanging out could be several things.

1. He might have a party to go with and they’d be hanging out with a group of friends.

2. It’s his way of saying I’d like to have a date with you tonight.

3. He’d like to hook up for a casual fling.

4. He’s testing the waters, so keeping it cool to see if he likes you or not.

Whatever the intention means when someone says, let’s hang out, one thing is for sure, singles are confused about their relationship status with members of the opposite sex. Whether they’ve met while cyberdating or out-and-about, dating in groups has added to the confusion for many singles.

When I digged a bit more into her “relationship” with her texting beau, I found out he her took her out to dinner. He paid for dinner. He gave her a short kiss after dinner. He went back to texting with her for several weeks and then asked her to hang out again.

The Digital Dating Process

The digital dating process does include flirting via text to stay in touch, emails back-and-forth, and putting actual dates on the calendar.

The rise in popularity of group dating, where singles who like each other hang out in a group and go to an event together, makes most women unsure of where they stand in the relationship, or if they’re even in a relationship at all.

My response to her was, “Yes, you did go on a date.” She wasn’t sure if he was just being chivalrous and kind by paying for her dinner, but they didn’t go “Dutch” treat and he did ask her out again.

Is he her boyfriend? No. Just because he sends texts daily, doesn’t mean you’re status has been elevated to boyfriend or girlfriend. Chances are he’s playing the field, having fun, and doesn’t really want a steady girlfriend. More than likely, it’s a flirtationship, which is a common place in between friends and being in a relationship. He has an active online dating profile and she has an active online dating profile.

Read: How Do You Know if You’re in Flirtationship Mode?

If a man really wants to make you his girlfriend, he’ll let you know. He won’t want anyone to claim you as his and will make his intentions known.

Are you confused about your relationship status?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Need help with your dating life? Find out how our Irresistible Coaching programs can help you date better and find love online.

 

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6 Online Dating Tips for Spring Fever

Mar 20th

springfever 300x300It’s officially Spring!

We’ve already changed the clocks to enjoy more sunset dates, so it’s time to start changing your wardrobe colors and get out and smell the digital roses. It’s springtime and we all know that Spring fever is in the air and singles are hoping to find love this season, or maybe even have a spring fling, depending on your dating goals.

With this in mind, here are some online dating tips and advice for a little digital facelift to help ramp up your cyberdating search for the new season.

                 Going Mobile

It’s time to turn up the volume and download a few mobile dating apps and start flirting. By now most of you have either used the hot mobile app Tinder, where you swipe to the right to connect with a potential date, or swipe to the left to send them into Internet heaven. Tinder has announced they’ve reached 1 million matches. It’s time to join the digital party.

WATCH MOBILE APPS TO SPEED UP YOUR SEARCH

Don’t forget the mobile versions of the dating sites you already belong to. If you’re a member of eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, PlentyOfFish, make sure you turn on their locals features and be on a date in minutes.

Start using additional mobile apps such as AreYouInterested, CupidRadar, and Zoosk that we feature in our Mobile Dating BootCamp.

 READ: 12 MOBILE APPS IN 2013

Check out Lulu

Want to see what others think of your potential date? Guys, register with the Lulu mobile app for the women to see how you rank on the dating totem pole. Your ego will get a lift when the ladies give you a high score and your profile views go up. Ladies, before you go on a date, check the rating of your potential hottie. Plus, they have fun and flirty dating advice as well sent to your mobile phone.

Log on Twice Daily

If you brush your teeth at least every morning and night, take a ½ hour to 1 hour twice a day and log on to your favorite dating sites. Just by having your profile listed online often raises your visibility in a search.

Cast a Wider Net

Not getting much activity in your inbox? Expand your search from 15 miles to 60 or even 200 miles. If you find the one, it’s worth the commute, or even relocating for love. Are you limiting yourself to searching for a narrow age range? Revise your search parameters by 10 years. That’s right, 5 years lower and 5 years higher than what you’ve already been looking for.

Reorder your photos

If you have 3-5 of your favorite photos on your profile and can’t find time to grab a new one from your Facebook page, change the primary photo so your profile looks fresh. When you get the time, add a few more recent shots, wearing something colorful and retire those that are 5 years old.

READ: WHEN IN DOUBT, WEAR RED

View and hotlist profiles

If you’re a bit shy about initiating contact, view profiles of those you might be interested in. Chances are they’ll see that you’ve viewed them and will contact you if they’re interested in you. Take it one step further and rate them with 5 stars or put them on your hotlist. Often they’ll be notified, will be flattered, and you just might put a date on your calendar.

If you still need some help to make your profile stand out from the rest, contact us about our Irresistible Profiles to help you find your dream date.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of onlien dating and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for 20 years. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt, and visit our Facebook page.

Photo credit: © berezovskyi – Fotolia.com

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OkCupid Adds Relationship Type to Dating Profiles

Mar 17th

Have you taken a look at your OkCupid profile lately?

The online dating site has added a new category to your dating profiles in the my detail section called “Relationship Type.”

Sandwiched in between income and offspring, daters looking to connect on OkCupid can now let potential dates know if they’re interested in having a monogamous relationship, or not.  Taking it a step further, you can advertise whether you’re strictly monogamous, mostly monogamous, or strictly or mostly non-monogamous.

New Ok Cupid Relationship Types

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While most women will state that they’re monogamous to attract a guy who won’t expect to sleep with them on the first date, it will be interesting to see how the men will fill in the blanks, if they fill in the blanks at all.

Read: Dating in an OkCupid World

Up until now, members have listed their status as single, seeing someone, married, or in an open-relationship. The questions that members answer have further identified whether you’d sleep with someone on dates 1-2, 3-5, 6 or more, or after the honeymoon.

This new feature allows you to focus on whether you’ll be sleeping with multiple people or not. Does this mean members should represent themselves as casual daters or those who’ll be playing the field?

How would you describe your relationship type?

Do you think this feature will focus on more casual relationships?

Your comments are welcome.

For more online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Contact us to learn more about how to create an Irresistible Profile.

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Cyber Love Song of the Week – What is Love – Howard Jones

Feb 24th

musicalheart2 150x150Happy #MusicMonday.

Today we’re featuring the Howard Jones song, “What is Love?” as our Cyber Love Song of the Week.

Love is something most of us dream of, hope for and hurt deeply when we lose it.

The lyrics of this song will question what love is, but I believe love comes in all shapes and forms. We love our friends, our families, our pets, and hopefully ourselves. There’s a saying that you’ll know you’re in love when you feel it. Sometimes love comes gradually, sometimes it changes into a deep friendship.

Enjoy this song and embrace all forms of love that find their way to you.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Listen to more featured Cyber Love Songs

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

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The Olympics, Sports, and Your Love Life

Feb 18th

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When you’re single and are on an online dating site, you spend hours-and-hours often answering questions to find a compatible match.

When it comes to physical activities, most men I know who are huge skiers, won’t date a woman who won’t play in the snow with them.

In conjunction with the Sochi Olympics, PlentyOfFish looked at 50,000 of their single members to find out which sports fans will get lucky in love and which activities were the best turn-on’s.

The survey showed that nearly 1 in 2 single men are watching the Olympics because the athletes are sexy, and roughly 1 in 3 single women admit to watching a sport purely for the sex appeal.

POF found that snowboarding and ice hockey were considered the sexiest Winter Olympic Sports by the single women, while the majority of men preferred figure skating.

It was no surprise that the top ranked most handsome male athlete was Olympic snowboarder Bode Miller.

The Top 5 Sexiest athletes at Sochi from the singles survey include:

  1.  Bode Miller (Skiing) 22.4%
  2.   Henrik Lundqvist (Hockey) 15.6%
  3. Charlie White (Figure Skating) 6.1%
  4. Bobby Brown (Skiing) 3.4%
  5. Shani Davis (Speed Skating) 1.4%

Top 5 Sexiest Female Athletes Competing at Sochi:

  1. Lolo Jones (Bobsleigh) 14.9%
  2. Linn Haug (Snowboarding) 14.2%
  3. Anna Fenninger (Skiing) 11.2%
  4. Anna Sidorova (Curling) 10.8%
  5. Tina Maze (Alpine Skiing) 8.6%

Other findings include:

  • Snowboarding and Ice Hockey are considered the sexiest Winter Olympic sport by single women, each earning 27.3% of the votes
  • An overwhelming 43.6% of single men consider Figure Skating to be the sexiest Winter Olympic sport
  • Men and women agree that curling is the least attractive Winter Olympic sport – (41.7% of women and 28.3% of men)
  • 49.1% of singles consider Beach Volleyball the sexiest Summer Olympic sport
  • 51.9% of singles consider Weight Lifting to be the least attractive Summer Olympic sport

So how does this relate to your dating life?

PlentyOfFish found the following statistics:

  • Singles who share a love of Hockey are 440% more likely to form a relationship
  • Singles who share a love of Skiing are 380% more likely to form a relationship
  • Singles who share a love of Swimming are 280% times more likely to form a relationship
  • Singles who share a love of Biking are 280% times more likely to form a relationship.

So what’s the answer? Start spending more time outdoors if you want to find a relationship. Go to sports bars and watch hockey games, take a ski lesson, and wipe the dust off the bicycle that’s sitting in your garage.

Do you enjoy outdoor activities with a date?

Your comments are welcome.

Original post from POF

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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