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Online Dating: Should I Ask a Woman Her True Age

onlinedatingage 300x225Dear Julie,

I have an online dating question and would love your opinion on this recent emailed dating exchange of mine, on OK Cupid…

Me: How old are you really? icon smile (Does anyone here tell the truth about his/her age? I mean, besides me.)

Her: How old am I really? I won’t read into this, I’ll just go with it: I’m really not whatever it was I said I was, ha! My photos are recent; age is not something by which I live my life; and I often get mistaken for my daughters’ sister when we’re out together. I don’t look 26 but I don’t look or live like I’m the 50-something I copped to in my profile.

(How’s that for evading the answer? icon smile Her profile says she’s 51, but she obviously is not comfortable revealing her exact age to me. Should I drop it or press it? Is it too sensitive a topic to expect the truth, even if I myself am truthful? I’ve met women before who’ve revealed they’re as much as 15 years older than the ages they’ve indicated on their dating profiles. And I’m not comfortable or sufficiently evolved enough to date someone who’s 66, even if she is mistaken for her daughter. Thoughts?)

Here’s my take on his dating dilemma.

Women are often very sensitive and about their age and will lie about their age to fit into a search on their Internet dating profiles. Call it a double-standard, but they expect the man to be honest about his age.

Most women won’t even engage in conversation when questioned and will evade the subject. They’ll get offended if you ask what her age is, so I’d say it’s an off-limits subject early on.

When a man used to ask me about my age, I would smile and be coy and say, “It’s not polite to ask a lady her age.”  This practice goes back to early etiquette days,  long before online dating became part of everyday life for singles. Even my grandmother wouldn’t reveal her true age when asked.

Know that physical attraction and chemistry are important. Either a guy will be attracted to someone’s actual photos or to the woman when he meets her in person, or he won’t. I say you should never judge someone by their age and respect her desire to be private about her age until she is comfortable in sharing it. Many women past the age of 40 believe they need to lie about their age to attract a man. They realize that men are interested in dating younger, at least while searching online.

I think your potential date was being polite and sweet by saying, “I’ll just go with it.” If her photos are recent it should be enough. She obviously wants to continue to communicate with you and tried to set a boundary where it comes to age.

Think about how disappointed you would be if you were really attracted to someone, thought you both had a lot in common, had a friendly banter via email, and a phone call or two. It looked promising until…. you asked her if her age was accurate. She gets upset, cancels the date and you never meet.

Often if you meet someone out at a party or gathering and strike up a conversation, you won’t ask her what her age is, because it doesn’t matter. I’m not promoting lying whatsoever, as I encourage everyone to be honest about their age. If they fudge, I recommend they post something in their profile or at least tell someone on the first date the truth.

My best advice is to drop the age question. You don’t know that she’s 66 and you don’t know that she’s 55.  You just know that you might be interested in her and are curious about her real age. If you meet and connect, eventually she’ll tell you the truth about her age. If you’re smitten with her, you won’t mind if it’s 5 years more than you had originally thought. Give her a chance and if you think she’s pretty, let her know. Women love to be flattered and don’t like to feel like their being interviewed or in a deposition.

Julie

Do you have a dating and relationship question for Julie Spira? Submit your questions here:

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and like at on Facebook.

Photo credit: Fotolia

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Help! I Found my Boyfriend on Tinder

Dear Julie,

I met my boyfriend on Tinder and we started dating three months ago.

We both agreed to take down our Tinder profiles. Actually it was his idea to do it first and I thought it was a great idea.

We’ve connected on a deep level and are even talking about living together, so I thought everything was great.

Last week, my girlfriend saw his profile on Tinder and it appears he went back on without telling me. He’s been secretive about things lately, complaining that he’s stressed out at work. I’m afraid I’m losing him. What should I do?

GF of Tinder Addict.

Dear GF of TA,

You’re not alone. Tinder is a fun game that singles play on their mobile phones. While it’s a great way to meet someone close by, it’s still a game. I know several couples who have left their Tinder profiles up and just enjoy chatting with others, without the intention of taking it any further.

Let’s start by saying your boyfriend did do something wrong. He rejoined Tinder without telling you. Most likely he knew there would be an eruption like a volcano if he suggested it. He would assume you’d think he was cheating on you, when he was just having fun swiping right and left on Tinder.

Do I know if your relationship is on the way out or not? Of course not. But you’re at a relationship milestone — the three month mark. The honeymoon phase of the newness in your relationship when everything is perfect is changing. The good news is, that you’re still together as a couple and are moving into the next phase. Three months is the time where couples decide do they want to go to the next step, which is beyond the casual stage.

My suggestion is to have a convo with your BF and ask him if he just likes looking at pretty faces. Believe it or not, he might just be viewing girls digitally the way that some guys stare at cute girls at a restaurant. If he says he’d like to see others, then believe him and reactive your profile as well and start dating. If he says he only has eyes for you, let him know how uncomfortable this is making you. Ask him if he can state his relationship status to “in a relationship” and that he’s looking for friends to chat with or take it down completely.  If he’s willing to do this, then understand he looks at Tinder the same way as he would look at a video game.

I’m not saying it’s right and I’d be very unhappy if my boyfriend had an active dating or Tinder profile up while he was spending nights with me. If he refuses to state his relationship status, then you need to decide if you’d like to continue dating him and date others as well.

If he really doesn’t want to lose you, he won’t let his cell phone games get in the way of love. It’s time for some digital housekeeping.

Keep me posted.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Do you have a question for Julie Spira? Click here to submit your dating questions.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and helps singles find love online and IRL. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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15 New Facts About Singles for National Singles Week

Singlesweek 300x191It’s National Singles week and it’s official. The Bureau of Labor Statistics has found that over half of the adult population in America is single. Suddenly being single puts you in the 50.2% majority.

This information, provided by our friends at Match.com also shows that singles aren’t putting looks first, while seeking out a partner.

Match.com has provided some new facts about singles that you might be surprised about, from their most recent ‘Singles in America’ study.

1. Singles want to be with someone who treats them with respect (100% W; 98% M).

2. Singles want to be with someone they can trust and confide in (100% W; 97% M).

3. Singles want a partner they are comfortable in communicating their wants and needs (98% W; 95% M).

4. Singles want to be with someone who has a sense of humor and that can make them laugh (98% W; 91% M).

5. Singles love to exercise, with 65% saying they work out at least once a week.

6. Singles love pets, with 64% saying they own a pet.

7. Singles date online, with 39% say they are using online dating sites.

8. Singles are educated, with 60% having an associates degree or higher.

9. Singles like thinking about sex, with 52% thinking about it at least once a day.

10. Singles are confident about marriage, with 89% thinking they can stay married to one person forever.

11. Singles believe that words of affection in a relationship will bring them closer, with 95% believing words of affection and/or love to be intimate.

12. Single men aren’t scared of an educated and intellectual career woman, with 90% willing to date a woman who made more money than they did and 87% would date someone more intellectual than they are.

13. Racism and religion takes a back seat to self-fulfillment, with 74% willing to date someone with a different ethnic background and 70% willing to date someone with a different religious background.

14. Singles find traveling together more intimate than public displays of affection, with 94% believing that travel is the most intimate experience.

15. Singles want to get married because they want a committed partner to share their lives with, with 86% saying this is the number one reason.

If you’re single, embrace your status and know that finding someone to share your life with goes hand-in-hand with the confidence you own.

For a 20% discount on Match, click here

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Brittney Spears Joins Other Celebrities on Tinder

spears portrait 1a1006n 1a1007c 249x300As celebrities and everyday people are flocking to Tinder for dating, and playing the digital love game, it’s no surprise that single Brittney Spears is thinking of looking for love online.

Tinder is now verifying celebrity profiles and Yahoo – Australia reports that Spears reports that at the debut of her lingerie collection in New York, said admits that finding love in cyberspace is possibly an option.

Later, Spears appeared on the ‘Tonight Show’ with  Jimmy Fallon, where the late night talk host added her to the mobile app in a fun skit.

Before introducing Spears, Fallon described her as:  “She’s recently single, she sings good jingles, she loves her Pringles and she’s ready to mingle.”

He added, “Here at ‘The Tonight Show,’ we’re all about making love connections, so before the show you did something cool. You let us sign you up for the dating app Tinder,” Fallon continued, stating the profile is indeed real.
“I want to stress, Britney had nothing to do with this. This was our idea. But she has the password now and it is her profile. She can do whatever she wants with it…. If you guys are on Tinder and want to date Britney Spears, just look for her profile and swipe right. That means good.” Spears responded with, “I’m thrilled!”

Celebrities with verified profiles are now swiping right and left on Tinder. Other celebs include Ed Sheeran, Katy Perry, Lilly Allen, Lindsay Lohan, Chelsea Handler, and Bravo’s Andy Cohen, who have created profiles on the hottest mobile dating app.

Watch the video of the ‘Tonight Show’ segment here.

Other celebrities have joined a variety of online dating sites in the pre-Tinder days, including: Sinead O’Connor,  Martha Stewart, Matthew Perry, Adele,, Jenny McCarthy, Charlie Sheen, Ricki Lake, Chase Crawford, Carrie Ann Inaba, Cheryl Cole, and the late great Joan Rivers.

At the end of the digital day, logging on for love in cyberspace or from the convenience of your mobile phone when you find yourself single is the easiest way to get back into the dating game.

Photo credit: Yahoo: Australia – Celebs We Wish Were on Tinder

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet having created her first profiles 20 years ago. Today, she helps singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs and to help them find love from the various mobile dating apps. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for more dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Online Dating – 7 Ways to Fill Your Date Card

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If you’re busy sending emails to potential dates online and are frustrated with the lack of response, our friends at online dating site Zoosk have come up with some simple suggestions on how to move the process along in their “7-Step Guide to Landing a Date.”

Here’s a recap, along with a cool infographic to help ramp up your Internet dating life so you can meet that special someone offline.

1. Add a date activity to show someone you really do want to go on a date.

In a recent survey of 3000 of their members, Zoosk found that mentioning movies as a favorite activity in you profile and even suggesting a movie date increases your response rate to your email messages by 91%. Yes that’s a big number and one worth viewing film trailers for. Other keywords included the beach (59%) and a park (39%).

2. Send emails in the morning if you’re a man; in the evening if you’re a woman.

Guys will increase their chances of a response by 10% if they send emails between 9am and 10am, while the best time for women to send email messages is between 10pm and 11pm. So ladies, send that flirty email and go to sleep with a smile on your face and avoid sending an email from 2pm – 3pm.

3. Respond within 24 hours.

As for when you should respond to an email, 94% of those surveyed said within 24 hours. I have to agree with this one. Remember when someone is emailing you, they’re sending emails to many others at the same time. Often the squeaky wheel gets the love deal, so playing too hard to get will likely backfire.

4. Focus on what makes you unique.

If you want to stand out in a crowded digital playground, talk about your date’s hair, their gorgeous eyes, fun or geeky glasses, and even their tattoo. Remember to be fun and flirty. Stay away from the sexual comments, which received a digital thumbs down from Zooskers.

One of the biggest challenges I see singles struggling with is what to write in their first email. First impressions do really matter and your email should be more than, “hey.” Here are a few interesting tidbits.

5. Character count matters.

Guys didn’t seem to care how long the first message was from a woman, but 40% of the women did indeed want to see a message that was longer than a full-length tweet of 140 characters.

6. Expect to send 5 emails.

Finally, how long will it take to get to the first date? About half of the singles polled said they send 5 email exchanges before putting his or her name on their date card.

7. Schedule your first date.

If you follow this plan, you should be filling up your date card and taking your relationship offline.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Are you using any of these tips while looking for love online?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter

7 step guide to landing a date

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Match Experts Talk about 1st Date Dos and Don’ts

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It was an honor and joy to be invited to Match.com’s headquarters in Dallas with the top relationship experts in the country.

After a full day of meeting with their executives, we finished the day with an interview on our top dating tips for a first great date.

From what to wear to where to go, we hope you enjoy our video below.

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Questions we answered included:

1. First date: Coffee Drinks or Dinner?

2. Should you dress up or down?

3. Is it a group date or a real date?

4. Do you leave early if there are no sparks on a date?

5. Who pays for the first date?

6. Mamas boys: runs or cuddle?

7. One question you should always ask on a first date?

Enjoy our video and post your comments as well.

What are your first date tips and deal breakers?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and creates Irresistible Online Dating Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Tinderella Syndrome – Is it Real?

Screen Shot 2014 08 12 at 1.26.20 PM 300x165As online daters and those downloading the Tinder mobile dating app continue to watch Tinder explode, it’s no wonder that researchers, psychologists, and dating experts all have opinions on whether Tinder is helping singles or is just a game for people to play on their cell phones as they swipe left or right at the millions of profiles nearby.

On WCCO in Minneapolis, I spoke with radio show host John Hines about the pros and cons of Tinder, using mobile dating apps, and why I think Tinder can help women who are shy to connect with a potential date online and meet them offline.

Listen to our radio broadcast from August 14, 2014 at 11:00am on WCCO.

Now let’s talk about the ‘Tinderella syndrome’ and if it really exists or not. Are women really suffering from spending too much time on Tinder? Is it affecting their ability to meet offline (IRL?)

The Daily Mail ran a story claiming that ‘Tinderella syndrome’ was ruining the love lives of women to the point that they wer unable to approach men in person offline. They went as far as saying that flirting techniques have been diminished due to the frequent use of the Tinder mobile dating app.

While psychologist Emma Kenny believes that online dating breeds impatience and insecurity since women are inundated with an abundance of potential dates that they become overwhelmed and stop investing the same effort into meeting dates offline.

Sure online dating is a numbers game and Tinder is responsible for over 10 million matches a day as well as 850 million swipes a day. Those are big numbers and it’s easy to fill your date card.  Remember, not everyone on Tinder is looking for a love connection. Tinder’s founders believe that they are a social discovery app and that using the site an help make new friends with similar interests.

Some will use Tinder as a game and keep playing after a swipe or two. Others will take the time to read the profiles of potential matches before starting a private online chat that will hopefully lead to an offline meeting. Otherwise, you’ll just end up with a digital pen-pal, if that’s what you want.

Here are the reasons I don’t believe in the Tinderella Syndrome.

1. Mobile apps make it easier to connect with people close by. Those who are interested in meeting someone close by can easily log onto Tinder and view a profile instead of just swiping left or right to give a thumbs up on a profile. If the profile indicates they’re really looking to meet someone for a relationship, they can start chatting instantly if it’s a mutual match.

2. Almost 35% of married couples met online. A study from the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that about 1/3 of marriages were as a result of online.

3. Pew Research states that 59% of Americans think that online dating is a good way to meet people. With over half of Americans thinking online dating is the way to go, remember that most singles are using mobile dating apps, which speed up the process.

4. Mobile dating apps and online dating sites help those who are shy communicate with potential dates. It’s my opinion that using dating apps and dating sites only helps those who are too shy to approach someone in a bar to say hello. By chatting online, I think self-esteem can be improved and communicating skills with potential dates will also become easier. The key is to take your relationship from online to offline and meet IRL.

5. Online dating stigma is pretty much gone. It’s a matter of time that the stigma for Tinder or mobile dating apps for hookups will also diminish. Already we are seeing many relationships of couples who’ve found love on Tinder.

6. If your mutual match isn’t communicating with you or interested in meeting, just move on. Tinder reports they are seeing 10 million matches a day and 850 million swipes per day. With all of that activity, it’s pretty easy to figure out who’s playing the game and who will want to meet. If their profile is rather empty and they only say, “hey,” it’s probably not going to become a meaningful relationship.

In my conversation with John Hines from WCCO – CBS Radio, I told him that Tinder is known to have a membership base of mostly 18-34 year olds. Many aren’t looking for a serious relationship and are hooking up. But some are truly looking for a new digital outlet to find a date or love.

Yes Tinder is like a game and it asks you to keep playing instead of suggesting that you meet in person. There will always be those who love the digital ego boost of flirting online, with or without Tinder. However, there will always be those who truly are looking for a connection. Tinder makes it easy to connect. It’s up to you to decide if the relationship is ready to move offline.

As time goes on, more-and-more singles in their 40s and up will also be using Tinder, due to the ease of creating a profile and the flexibility of connecting on the fly with singles in their geographic area.

Do you believe in the ‘Tinderella Syndrome?’

College Humor came out with a cute parody about Tinderella – a Modern Fairytale worth sharing.

Photo credit: College Humor

Julie Spira is an online and mobile dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating and helps singles find love on the Internet with her Irresistible Profiles programs. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Online Dating: 5 Signs You Are Talking to a Great Guy

This week, we’re excited to share a post for women daters from our guest blogger, Joshua Pompey.

Finding a quality man on the Internet isn’t always easy.  Sure, they’re out there in large quantities, but trying to distinguish between the good ones and bad ones can be daunting.  One false move and you could wind up on a date with yet another serial dater.

I’m here to tell you not to worry.  Know that finding a quality man online isn’t as tough as you might think.

Let’s take a look at the five signs you are talking to a great guy online.

1.  His photo gallery tells the right visual story. Some men will write profiles and emails that seem to good to be true.  These men are interesting, charming, and fun to talk to, but do his photos match the image he’s portraying, or are they filled with four similar pictures by himself in his room? Men with a lot to offer usually have a vast amount of life experiences and will show them off in many ways throughout their photo gallery. The more pictures you see of a man with friends, co-workers, family members, and on random adventures, the more likely this man is someone interesting and worth pursuing.

2.  His first email is unique, fun, and engaging. 

You may be attracted to his photos and you may even like this unique profile. However it appears that he copied and pasted the same message to twenty other women that day. Spammed emails are a huge sign that you are dealing with a potential serial dater, a man who is just not that interesting, or is just lazy. If his email is personalized, he just might be a great guy.

3His profile is positive. 

A man worth engaging with online is a man who is happy with his life.  Any profile that is filled with negativity or qualities of what a man doesn’t want in a woman, is a red flag that the man might be jaded, not all that happy, or a negative person in general.  If you avoid the negative profiles, you’ll find someone who appears to be happy with his life.

4He won’t say,“I’ll tell you later” in his profile. Any man that takes online dating seriously is going to put a lot of effort into the creation of his profile and fill it out completely.  This is because he will actually want to find someone to be in a serious relationship with.  A man with a half-blank profile may be sending a message that he has something to hide.

5.  He doesn’t log on all day long.
Do you want to know why some men log in every five seconds?  Because they are talking to tons of women online. Chances are he might be a serial dater. Quality men don’t have time to log on dating sites all day long. They’re busy with work or their active lives.

What quality traits do you find in a man while looking for love online?

Joshua Pompey has been helping online daters to succeed through his products and services at a success rate of over 99% since 2009. For more information visit http://jpompey.com/ladies/online-dating-advice/ for free dating advice.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Breaking Up: 12 Signs You May Be Getting Dumped

Fotolia 36590412 XS 300x240Most of us go into relationships with the best of intentions. We put our best feet forward in the first few weeks or month with the anticipation that the relationship will continue to grow and go the distance.

We introduce our partner to our friends and family hoping to get the vote of approval. Often we share our dreams for the future, plan holidays and vacations together, and learn the fine art of compromising in a relationship, because we know it’s worth it.

Sometimes outside influences can attack our relationship resulting in the inevitable bumps on the road. It’s at these times that we look at our partner and either deal favorably with conflict resolution, or sadly our ego sometimes gets in the way and we end up heading for a fall.

From financial issues to family stress, the romantic gestures from an outsider at work to juggling the schedules of children, or even job pressures can affect the best of relationships.

Here are a few tips to know if you’re relationship is on its way out, or if it’s just a pull back or bump on the road that hopefully will become a distant memory.

  1. They stop sending regular text messages. If your significant other used to start his or her day with a good morning text and good night text, but those have disappeared, chances are the relationship could be fizzling out.
  2. Phone calls are reduced. If your significant other usually calls you routinely on his or her lunch break, while driving home from work, or before bedtime when you’re not together, and the calls have been reduced to once a day or a few times a week, your sweetheart may be disengaging from the relationship.
  3. Pet names disappear. He or she goes from affectionately saying, “It’s me” to leaving messages with their first or full name, assume the familiarity and romance are on their way out. Affectionate pet names are part of a relationship. It’s what makes you unique as a couple and puts a smile on your face.
  4. Plans are made without you in mind. If your normal routine is to see each other a few times a week and on weekends and suddenly your significant other would rather go out for drinks with friends and go home alone instead of into your arms, assume they are creating more distance and are open to the possibilities of meeting someone else.
  5. Future talks are put on hold. If you had been discussing living together or even planning a vacation six months out and now you’re not sure when you’ll be getting together in the next few days, your relationship suddenly might become a short-term affair, and not with someone who wants to go the distance anymore.
  6. Sex dissipates. Having a healthy sex life creates bonding in a relationship. If your boo is having doubts about the relationship, often sex is the first thing to go. When your sex life goes from “hot” to “not,” there’s a possibility your partner is detaching from the relationship.
  7. PDA disappears. If you’re the kind of affectionate couple who holds hands in public and loves cuddling at night and suddenly you find yourself sleeping on your side of the bed, there could be trouble in paradise. If the welcome home kisses are no longer part of your regime, it’s a sign that your relationship might be falling out of the love zone.
  8. Grooming habits change. From getting a Brazilian bikini wax to sporting a new hairstyle, joining a gym, or starting a new diet, when your significant other starts to change their looks and takes more time to focus on their appearance, they might have someone in mind other than you.
  9. They become attached to their phone. If suddenly your sweetheart is staring at his or her text messages, keeping their phone uber-handy, and staring at Facebook instead of focusing on you, you’ve just become lower on the totem pole than his or her smart phone. If they go into another room to secretly respond to a text or a phone call or turn their phone upside down so you won’t see who’s texting or calling, there’s probably trouble in paradise.
  10. Titles disappear. While titles are usually more important to a woman than to a man, if you’ve been introduced as the girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner and suddenly you’re being introduced as, “This is Janie,” there could be trouble on the horizon or you might be moving into the friend zone.  Read: Why Won’t He Call Me His Girlfriend
  11. Reactivates their online dating profile. If you’ve met online, but unplugged your profiles to be exclusive, don’t be surprised when one of you starts fishing to look for Plan B. Typically before a breakup, someone may like to view their options before making a clean break. Read: Gone Fishing, or is it Over?
  12. You’re thinking of breaking up. If the thought of breaking up is on your mind (if you’re reading this, that’s probably the case), you’ve put together your pros and cons list about your relationship or are think you might need some space, chances are your sweetie may be thinking the same as well.

What should you do if you can relate to most of these items on this list? Before you toss your relationship away, understand that feelings can fluctuate, but if the flow has been disrupted by most of these relationship issues on this list, you might be headed for splitsville.

Read: What to Do When He Pulls Back

Before you pull out the tissue box and think it’s over, take the time to talk to your partner about how important they are in your life. Acknowledge there’s been a shift in the relationship and ask them if there are any outside stressors that could be affecting the two of you. One of you might still be brewing about something that happened over a month ago and perhaps an apology needs to be made if your partner is feeling resentful about something or misunderstood.

Acknowledge how affectionate you used to be and let your partner know that you miss those warm and fuzzy happy times and would love to get back on track. Take the time to listen to your partner’s concerns. If you truly think this is a relationship worth fighting for, let your partner know that you don’t want to make an impulsive and abrupt decision that you might regret. Ask how you can help bring back the romance in your life.

If your partner just isn’t feeling it for you anymore, don’t fight it. Thank them for the memories and start the healing process. I know it hurts to have another failed relationship, but I also know that there is someone special out there waiting for you. You just haven’t met him or her yet.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Online Dating Safety Tips from an Expert

datingsafety 240x300Online dating safety is something that everyone needs to be concerned with. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we take safety seriously and are always sharing ways for you to feel safe and enjoy the Internet dating experience.

In Louisiana, three stories occurred this month involving people who met online dating, social networking sites that resulting in hijacking and other crimes such as a robbery in a car.

In one case, a man went to his car to meet a potential date, and instead of finding the woman, ten men were there, which resulted in a carjacking.

I spent the morning on the radio on WWL AM/FM in New Orleans to provide dating safety tips to help prevent such occurrences.

While these occurrences are rare, it’s still important to point out the following, whether dating online or offline.

1. Meet in a public place and don’t pick up your date.

2. Don’t give out your last name or information where you work

3. Let a friend know where you are meeting and call in or text to let them know you’re fine

4. Don’t suggest a late night date

5. Never go back to someone’s home on a first date

6. Avoid drinking a lot of alcohol, which will impair your judgment

7. Carry pepper spray on your key chain for when you’re walking to your car at night

8. Conduct a Google search for your date’s name, phone number, and email addresss

9. View your date’s profile photos in a Google reverse image search by uploading it to Google.com/images

10. Do a background or people search for your date on sites such as Radaris or Spokeo

11. Set up a free Google voice account with a number exclusively for dating

12. If you’re uncomfortable for any reason, leave

13. If your date makes you feel unsafe online or offline, report their profile to the dating site

14. Take your time getting to know someone on the phone and through emails before meeting

15. Trust your intuition

Realize that while maybe 10% of your dates might not be truthful or may have ulterior motives, about 90% of the dates are truly great people looking to connect. There are millions of singles finding love online. Keep these safety tips in mind as you schedule your dates, but still enjoy the time getting to know someone.

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