In the News

Dating Ideas for a Snowstorm #Snowmageddon

snowstorm 300x300It’s a hard news story this week.

People are panicking and filling up their pantries with food and water for the first blizzard of 2015. #Snowmageddon is heading to the east coast with record anticipated snowfall from New York to Boston. Before mass transit ceases to a halt, singles who have filled their date cards are probably wondering whether to cancel their dates or not.

If you’re going to be snowbound, here are some ways to have fun with your date or still feel attached until it’s safe to go out and play again.

1. Go on a Skype or FaceTime Date

Still have electricity or a full battery on your computer? Get dressed up with what you’d wear on a date, remember to put on your lipstick ladies, and both of you grab a glass of wine or bubbly for the occasion. Log on and have a virtual date rather than canceling.

2. Answer these 36 Love Questions

A Modern Love column on the New York Times reads, To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This. These questions from Psychologist Dr. Aron suggest they can help you fall in love with anybody. Some questions include: Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life and Tell your partner something that you like about them. This exercise should help you get to know each other better and has been known to be responsible for some marriages.

Not sure if that’s realistic or not? Why not give it a try.

3. Binge Watch on Netflix

Snuggled up with your date? Why not spend the day or evening binge watching some romance on Netflix if you can’t be at work. From House of Cards to Scandal and New Girl to Madmen, you’ll be bonding with your sweetie and won’t be able turn off the TV.

4. Build a Snowman

If you can make it to his or her home, bundle up and go outside to build a snowman or make a snow angel. It’s playful and will bring you back to your youth. In between, indulge with a snowball fight or two.

5. Create an Indoor Scavenger Hunt

If the geography and transportation allow you to keep your scheduled date, a great way to make it fun and flirty is to create a treasure or scavenger hunt in your home. To do this, place romantic clues in envelopes around your house and number them. At each location, there will be a love note with suggestions for a kiss, a back rub, a foot massage, or whatever your imagination will allow.

6. Write a Traditional Love Note.

If your electricity is out and the battery life has expired on your mobile phone, light a candle and grab and pen and paper. It’s time to get traditional and draft a hand-written love note. When you get together for your rescheduled date, hand him or her an envelope to open. You’ll be surprised how it will be received.

Will you be canceling your dates or be taking a digital approach to stay in touch?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.  For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter and join the conversation on #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 8pm/ET.

Photo credit: Fotolia

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Announcing our #DateChat on Twitter

Julie DateChat e1421709932637

Ready, set, tweet!

We’re super-excited at Cyber-Dating Headquarters to let you know that we’ll be hosting #DateChat on Twitter every Thursday at 8pm Eastern time, 5pm Pacific time.

#DateChat will bring together singles who are looking for love online and IRL to talk about their dating issues and relationship desires. #DateChat will be hosted by online dating expert Julie Spira. Every week we’ll be joined by a guest-host to stimulate the conversation.

Whether you’re newly single or are interested in dating your sweetheart, #DateChat will help spice up your love life.

Here’s how to join the party.

Sign onto Twitter or use your favorite Twitter management software such as Hootsuite or TweetDeck. Make sure you create a stream or do a search for #DateChat and save the search. If you have a question or are replying to a question, remember to use the hashtag of #DateChat in each tweet so others can communicate with you.

To make it easier, you can also log onto TweetChat, where it’s simple to stay in the conversation. Just type in our hashtag of #TweetChat and follow the stream. This will automatically add our hashtag to any tweet. Feel free to retweet any dating advice that you’d like your followers to see or ask questions for the dating community to see.

 

We look forward to chatting with you on Thursdays to get you date-ready for the weekend.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter!

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The Buzz About Catfishing

catfish

What’s all the buzz about ‘Catfishing?’

Ever since the MTV show came out, singles and couples are glued to the television to find out the dirt on who’s being ‘Catfished.’

From women pretending to be men and vice versa, people are falling in love online, but are they really?
In reality, many are just digital pen-pals.

To learn more, listen to the morning show on WDBR in Springfield, where Julie Spira was a recent guest with Dylan, Julie & Co.

 

Related: Video: Is Your Date a Catfish?

From dating safety to how to find a date for Valentine’s Day, you won’t want to miss this audio recording.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Related: Online Dating and Catfishing – Safety First

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

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Countdown to Valentine’s Day – How to Snag a Date

Fotolia 48108645 XS 300x300It’s exactly one month until Valentine’s Day. If you’re single, there’s no need to hide under the covers. If you’re dating someone, but he hasn’t asked you to be his Valentine just yet, here are some tips to enjoy the day, regardless of your relationship status. Remember, Valentine’s is on a weekend this year and it’s also during President’s Day weekend, so think big and be optimistic.

1. Ramp up Your Online Search

Let’s face it, everyone seems to be online theses days, so if you’re not logging on EVERY day, checking your matches and responding quickly to his emails, some other girl just might get his attention faster. It’s true what they say that the squeaky wheel gets the deal. If you can carve out time to go to the gym, you should be able to schedule time to log on daily. Make sure you’ve signed up for notifications of when someone has emailed you or made you their favorite so you can respond quickly. Ditch the old waiting game rules. This is how the digital dating world words.

2. Keep Swiping Right

If you’re on Tinder, Hinge, or are using the mobile dating apps from your favorite online dating site, make more of an effort to log on and swipe right to your matches. It’s really a numbers game. Unless your match is advertising for a hookup or looks like an ax murderer, swipe right and take a moment to say hello. A guy will be flattered to see the notification that you’re digging him digitally. Remember to take your relationship from online to offline so you can meet IRL.

3. Attend Singles Events

The one thing about singles events is, everyone is in the same boat. They’re single and are hoping to connect with someone. Check out Match.com’s Stir events in your city, RSVP to a MeetUp for a subject you’re passionate about, and attend business networking events. The more you’re out there in the public, the more opportunities you have to flirt with a potential date. Remember not to be too coy. Be bold and smile. Dr. Pat Allen, author of
“Getting to I Do,” suggests the five-second stare. It may feel like an eternity, but it may bring you closer to that cute guy across the room. P.S. Remember to wear red! It’s the color of love and romance and is known to attract men.

Related: Read Valentine’s Survival Guide

4. Text an Ex

Did you know that 20% of singles do text an ex on or around Valentine’s Day? So if both of you are single, why not get together and go down memory lane. Make sure you’re on the same page and just enjoy the evening. You may not be rekindling, but the familiarity might just make it a fun evening rather than flying solo.

5. Don’t Go Overboard

From going to an amusement park to ride the Ferris Wheel to taking a cooking class or going ice skating, make Valentine’s Day a no-pressure experience if you’re in a new relationship and aren’t exclusive yet. There’s no need to break the bank.

Related: Read 10 Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Grab your BFF’s, dress in pink or red, and head to the movies or a concert together. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about love. It’s about spending quality time with someone you really like.

Are you a fan or foe of Valentine’s Day?

Photo credit: Fotolia

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Join Me at iDate in Las Vegas

Come one, come all to the Internet Dating Conference, the largest conference about online dating!

The 40th iDate Conference will be held at the Tropicana Hotel on January 20-22, 2015 and I’ll be on hand on three panels and will be presenting the Best Mobile Dating App at the iDate Awards on the evening of January 21st.

Here’s the rundown of events for Online Dating Expert Julie Spira

  • Wednesday, January 21: CNN Panel: Focus on Content Marketing and Industry Trends – 3:30pm Cohiba 6 & 7
  • Wednesday, January 21: iDate Awards – 7pm, Tropicana, Cohiba Ballroom 1
  • Thursday, January 22: Essence Panel – How Date Experts on How to Use PR and Build Their Brand – 1:30pm
  • Thursday, January 22: Final Debate: 4pm

For a $50 discount and to purchase tickets and register for iDate, click here.

View our video below for details on the panels.

I’ll see you in Las Vegas!

Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice.

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Top 15 Questions for the Online Dating Expert at Match Stir

CDElogoSMW 150x150It was a busy night at the first mixer of the year in Los Angeles with Match.com for their new members to mingle, get photos, and ask me any burning dating questions they had to make the most of their membership during the busiest month of the year, January.

Held at The Phoenix in Beverly Hills, over 100 singles lined up to get their profile photos taken and to find out how they can be more successful with online dating.

Here were some of the top questions single men and women were asking. We’ll be answering them one at a time in upcoming articles on CyberDatingExpert.com.

  1. Should women be initiating contact with men?
  2. How should I begin with online dating now that I’m widowed?
  3. How many pictures should I be posting on my profile photo?
  4. How long should my emails be? Should I reveal all about myself?
  5. I come across as very direct in my profile. Is that scaring men off?
  6. I don’t like texting and won’t text during the day. The guy I’m dating is annoyed that I won’t respond. What should I do?
  7. I haven’t had a date in 3 months on Match. Am I playing too hard to get?
  8. My screen name is my first and last name. Is that ok?
  9. I had an email exchange with a guy four times in one day. I’m not writing back to him, even though it’s my turn. If I do, will I appear needy?
  10. I’m new to online dating and already had two bad dates. Should I give up?
  11. What should I write to a woman to get more responses?
  12. How much should a man reveal about his occupation?
  13. Which photos should I include in my Tinder profile?
  14. Why aren’t women writing back to me?
  15. How long should I wait to ask for a commitment?

To start with, let’s answer the first question that multiple women had asked. Some of them were traditional with old-fashioned values and didn’t believe a woman should initiate contact with men. While these women were attractive, they weren’t filling their date cards and were not utilizing all the simple features to maximize their time on Match.

You need to be engaged in the process and an active participant

Here’s the thing. The more engaged you are in the process, the more successful you will be in meeting quality people and turn your dating life into a rewarding relationship. I say, don’t wait. Initiate!

My first recommendation is to log on daily and review your daily matches that the site selected for you. Don’t just click yes on the green icon, but take that extra step and send an email, as Match reports he’ll be 15 times more likely to respond to an email. You can view his photos and profile before drafting your email. This way you can make it more personalized. Remember to keep your emails short, no more than five sentences, and ask a question. Refer to something he said in his profile and click on send.

Screen Shot 2015 01 09 at 8.56.37 AM e1420824644256

Once you’ve gotten into the habit of writing to your daily matches, take it a step further and look to see who has viewed you and then do your own search. Stick to the formula of five sentences in an email, make it personalized, refer to something he said in his profile in the search column, and start sending emails every day.

Remember, men get frustrated when they send out lots of emails and don’t receive many replies. Your email will stick out and he’ll be flattered to see it in his inbox.

At the end of the digital day, the more engaged you are in the process, the better your experience will be and you’ll be able to take your online relationship offline.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Do you have a question for Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Online Dating: January is the Busiest Time of the Year

heart2015 300x144It’s here! The first Sunday of the New Year, which brings more activity to online dating sites than any other day of the year. (Read below for some interesting statistics).

From New Year’s resolutions including joining a gym, to joining an online dating site to find love in 2015 tops the list for many singles. Are you ready to join the world’s largest digital dating party?

Think about it. Some relationships ran their course and couples broke up before the holidays. Others hung in there until New Year’s and realized they were in a relationship that wouldn’t go the distance. Some singles made the decision after having another holiday alone that they’d make a better effort to find their soul mate.

While Sunday is known to be a busy day for logins on Internet dating sites, the first Sunday of the year is the busiest day for new members to take action with their love lives.

  • According to PlentyofFish, 5pm, EST will break all the records with the most number of singles online at one time on the first Sunday of the year.
  • POF adds that singles that sign up in January are 15% more likely to meet a significant other and that it will take single men approximately 10 weeks to meet a significant other and it will take single women approximately 8 weeks to couple up.
  • The folks at Match.com agree that January 4th is the busiest day of the year for their site. Match reports a 38% increase in membership from December 26th through February 14th.

So whether you’re swiping right on Tinder or your mobile app or logging on to see your daily matches and who has viewed your profile, one thing is for sure. If you’re single and want to connect, you must have a digital dating strategy to help you stand out in the crowded playground.

Here are five tips for online dating in the New Year

  1. Change your Photos. I’m a big believer that a picture tells 1000 words. If you have the budget to hire a photographer, have him or her take photos of you in your natural environment. It’s an expense that might help you find your dream date.
  2. Create a New Catchy Screen Name. If you’re on a site which allows you to have a screen name or user name other than your first name, come up with something unique that describes your personality. Using your name and zip code isn’t very original or catchy. Some great names include anything athletic such as LovestoSki or YogaLover to anything artistic such as MusicLover or Drummer4U.
  3. Ask questions! Writing an online dating profile can be as bland as writing your resume while you’re job hunting. The difference is, you need to create an opportunity to open a dialog with your potential date. Describe things that you’d like to do together with someone as a couple and ask a question such as, I enjoy hiking in the Santa Monica Canyon. Have you ever been?
  4. Be proactive. They say the squeaky wheel gets the deal in business, but what about online? Too many women are afraid to contact a man because they think they will appear needy or desperate. I say, toss out those old rules. Men are flattered when they receive an email from a woman, so don’t wait, initiate.
  5. Be engaged. Whether you’re looking for a ring on your finger or just a date for Friday night, the more active that you are online, the more likely your profile will be raised to the top. Many sites give you tools to search for dates, opportunities to “like” photos, and send you emails with potential matches. The more you use these tools, the greater chance you have to fill up your date card.

If you need some help, our signature Irresistible Profiles and personalized dating coaching programs just might be exactly what you’re looking for in the New Year. We’ve helped singles around the world find love and look forward to helping you while looking for love online.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profiles over 20 years ago. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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How to Change Your Age on Tinder

Fotolia 74923589 XS 150x150There was a time when many singles dating online would lie about their age to appear younger to fit into a search.

Now with dating in a Tinder world, the trend has changed to the extreme opposite, where members of the hottest mobile dating app are now clamoring to indicate an age of triple digits at 100 years old, to hide the truth about their real age.

While this may seem absolutely ridiculous, my phone rings every week with people asking, actually begging for me to teach them how to change their age on Tinder to an absurd age of 100+ years old, give or take ten years.

If you’re wondering how to accomplish this, here are the steps you need to take, but remember, you’ll be deactivating your Tinder profile, so if there’s a special someone that you’re swooning over, make sure you get their phone number to call or text before they go off into Internet heaven.

How to Change Your Age on Tinder

  1. Log onto your Facebook account from a desktop or non-mobile version, where you will need to change your birth year. To do this, click on “about” and scroll down to your birth date and click edit.
  2. Go to your birth year and click on edit and change the year. PLEASE NOTE: Facebook limits the amount of times that you can change your age. As of now, you can only change it once and it will ask you to confirm this change.
  3. Log off of Facebook.
  4. Log onto Tinder through the mobile app.
  5. Click on the gear on the top left side of the mobile app.
  6. Click on app settings and scroll to the bottom and click “Delete Account.” PLEASE NOTE: Do not just delete the app from your phone, as it will not delete your account settings.
  7. Remember that deleting your account will permanently delete your matches, conversations, photos, etc. Tinder will ask you if you are sure you want to delete your account. Click on “Delete Account.”IMG 1547 169x300
  8. View all of your app icons on your mobile phone and tap on the Tinder app lightly. All of your mobile app icons will shake and click on the x in the upper left hand corner of the Tinder icon. This will then delete the app from your phone.
  9. Log back onto Facebook and double check that your new birth date was changed.
  10. Download the Tinder app again as brand new on your mobile phone.
  11. Sign up for Tinder using the Facebook login.
  12. Your new Tinder age should appear on your Tinder profile. NOTE: You can keep your birth date private on your Facebook profile.
    Please remember, at Cyber-Dating Expert, we discourage people from lying about their age on dating sites and on Facebook or other social networking sites.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for Dating Advice.

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Match.com Users in 2014 Were Down to Earth [infographic]

Screen Shot 2014 12 12 at 9.42.28 AM 300x105As 2014 is now winding down, our friends at Match.com have come up with a fun infographic showing the trends of their millions of single users who were looking for love online. In 2014, the site was responsible for setting up 5.48 million dates!

Among the popular terms, singles included the following:

  • Down to earth (mentioned in 232,348 profiles)
  • Travel (mentioned in 1,005,346 profiles)
  • The film, “Frozen” (mentioned in 5,501 profiles)
  • The word, “selfie” (mentioned in 5,613 profiles)

Other popular words included: electrician, warmhearted, welcoming, crochet, welder, zumba, quickest, cosmetology, ladies, and sewing.

Wondering how your profile stacks up to the others on Match? Check out this infographic for more details.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Match Year End Infographic FINAL 472x1024

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Holiday Dating Survival Guide

holidaysurvival 300x283It’s safe to say that emotions are flying high during the holidays for singles, new couples not sure how to define themselves, those who have had a recent breakup, and those who are tired of hearing from their relatives about their relationship status.

The holiday period from Thanksgiving to New Year’s brings up a lot of emotions. In the words of Fleetwood Mac’s Stevie Nicks from the song Dreams, it’s natural to think of memories of what you had and what you lost. The band also sings about how “You make loving fun” so don’t turn down the volume just yet.  Listening to music this time of year can give you both strength and send you down memory lane.

One thing I know for sure, is my phone is ringing with singles wanting to connect and meet someone new to share the holidays with, so there are plenty of singles looking for love online now.

Still, I know how tough it is at the holidays being single. I’ve been there. I’ve been watching the abundance of posts on Facebook of couples who are changing their relationship status to “In a Relationship.” If your status isn’t that in that category, it can be a digital stab to your heart.

I’m here to tell you that this is actually the best time of year to meet someone wonderful to date. Filling your date card with quality people is quite possible, so take away that frown and look at my tips in our holiday survival guide.

The Cyber-Dating Expert Survival Guide to Help you Through the Holidays, Online and IRL.

1. Don’t rely on Social Media to go down memory lane

Sure I know it’s natural to take a peek to see what your ex is up to, but if they’re jetting off to Paris, heading for sunshine in Hawaii and kissing under the mistletoe, you’re hurting yourself big time. Instead, try to create your own new memories. Walk down a festively decorated street and snap a few photos of trees, store windows, and cheerful pictures and post them on your Facebook wall. So what if you’re alone or with your BFF. You’re out of the house and not living in the past. Digital snooping is also on the rise, especially during the holidays. It brings out the worst in many. At PlentyofFish, they surveyed over 9000 of their users between the ages of 20 -40 to find out what their holiday dating habits were. POF found that 82% of the women were actually checking the Facebook statuses of guys they were dating to see what they were doing when they weren’t around. Wouldn’t you be better off out, than attached to your phone?

2. Fill that date card and stay organized

Anxiety can be at an all time high, but joining a few dating sites and using mobile dating apps will be a great ego boost. It will also give you the chance to meet a lot of people. However, don’t embarrass yourself by calling Don, Doug or introduce yourself as Jackie from PlentyOfFish if you met him on eHarmony. The easiest way to do this is by creating an excel spreadsheet and logging your conversations. You would do this for a job, right? Well this is a job with a possibility of a lifetime of love. It’s worth the effort.

3. Block your ex’s profile

If you’ve recently ended a relationship with someone you met online and it wasn’t on good terms, chances are you’ve both rejoined the site to meet others. Make sure you block his or her profile so they don’t appear in a search and to avoid the obsessiveness that results when you check to see when they last logged on or if they’ve deactivated their profile. Don’t assume if their profile is gone that they’ve ridden off into the sunset with someone else. Sometimes people just take a break or they may have blocked you.

4. Don’t jump into a rebound relationship

They say the easiest way to get over someone is by replacing them in a New York minute with someone new, but is it right? Sure the initial infatuation stage is a lot of fun and it’s nice to have a warm body around, but finding someone new when you aren’t ready to date isn’t always the answer. Spend time with friends, hang out with an ex that you’re still on good terms with and can be yourself with, and spend time alone reading, writing, or taking a cooking class or French lesson.

5. Discuss holiday gift giving

Before you run off to Tiffany to get him sterling silver cufflinks engraved with his initials after three weeks of dating, ask yourself how overwhelming it would feel if he showed up with an engagement ring one month in. It could be over the top, right? Come up with a reasonable budget. Perhaps you can get him a cashmere scarf or sweater, tickets to a concert or sporting event, and make home made cookies. You could get her a gift certificate to a spa, gourmet chocolates, a fun accessory for her mobile phone, tickets to a show or a museum exhibition, or a piece of costume jewelry in her favorite color. Avoid giving her just lingerie, unless it’s something she picks out for herself.

6. It’s Peak Season for Online Daters

The good news is that more singles are signing up for dating sites between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. Match reports they see a jump of about 25-30% in new members signing up between Christmas and Valentine’s Day and at Cyber-Dating Expert, it’s the busiest holiday season ever with new singles joining online dating sites and brand new dating profiles being created.

7. Accept ALL holiday invitations

If your inbox is filled with invitations for holiday mixers, fill your calendar and put on your party dress. Remember to smile at everyone. Business networking events are in abundance now, so you won’t have to feel that you’re the only single person there. Walk in with confidence and you’ll be turning heads and filling your date card.

8. Online Love is a year-round event

People meet online and fall in love all year long. I know a couple that met online on Christmas Eve on Facebook who are now engaged. I know of another couple that met online on eHarmony on Valentine’s Day who are now happily married. One couple fell in love at first sight that met on Match. She hadn’t had a serious relationship in over 10 years and now they’re married. Yes online dating is a numbers game. You’ll be juggling dates, canceling dates, rescheduling dates, it’s exhausting, but it can be so very rewarding as it has been for millions of others.

9. Fall in love with you

At the holidays, please take a deep breath; log on to fill your date card if and when it feels good to you, not because you’re feeling lonely. If you need to take a break from dating, that’s fine. There are no rules, other than to fall in love with yourself first. It’s the best place to be to start any new relationship.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace this holiday season, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and was a very early adopter of Internet dating. She’s the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com, author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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