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Join Me at iDate in Las Vegas

Come one, come all to the Internet Dating Conference, the largest conference about online dating!

The 40th iDate Conference will be held at the Tropicana Hotel on January 20-22, 2015 and I’ll be on hand on three panels and will be presenting the Best Mobile Dating App at the iDate Awards on the evening of January 21st.

Here’s the rundown of events for Online Dating Expert Julie Spira

  • Wednesday, January 21: CNN Panel: Focus on Content Marketing and Industry Trends – 3:30pm Cohiba 6 & 7
  • Wednesday, January 21: iDate Awards – 7pm, Tropicana, Cohiba Ballroom 1
  • Thursday, January 22: Essence Panel – How Date Experts on How to Use PR and Build Their Brand – 1:30pm
  • Thursday, January 22: Final Debate: 4pm

For a $50 discount and to purchase tickets and register for iDate, click here.

View our video below for details on the panels.

I’ll see you in Las Vegas!

Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice.

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Top 15 Questions for the Online Dating Expert at Match Stir

CDElogoSMW 150x150It was a busy night at the first mixer of the year in Los Angeles with Match.com for their new members to mingle, get photos, and ask me any burning dating questions they had to make the most of their membership during the busiest month of the year, January.

Held at The Phoenix in Beverly Hills, over 100 singles lined up to get their profile photos taken and to find out how they can be more successful with online dating.

Here were some of the top questions single men and women were asking. We’ll be answering them one at a time in upcoming articles on CyberDatingExpert.com.

  1. Should women be initiating contact with men?
  2. How should I begin with online dating now that I’m widowed?
  3. How many pictures should I be posting on my profile photo?
  4. How long should my emails be? Should I reveal all about myself?
  5. I come across as very direct in my profile. Is that scaring men off?
  6. I don’t like texting and won’t text during the day. The guy I’m dating is annoyed that I won’t respond. What should I do?
  7. I haven’t had a date in 3 months on Match. Am I playing too hard to get?
  8. My screen name is my first and last name. Is that ok?
  9. I had an email exchange with a guy four times in one day. I’m not writing back to him, even though it’s my turn. If I do, will I appear needy?
  10. I’m new to online dating and already had two bad dates. Should I give up?
  11. What should I write to a woman to get more responses?
  12. How much should a man reveal about his occupation?
  13. Which photos should I include in my Tinder profile?
  14. Why aren’t women writing back to me?
  15. How long should I wait to ask for a commitment?

To start with, let’s answer the first question that multiple women had asked. Some of them were traditional with old-fashioned values and didn’t believe a woman should initiate contact with men. While these women were attractive, they weren’t filling their date cards and were not utilizing all the simple features to maximize their time on Match.

You need to be engaged in the process and an active participant

Here’s the thing. The more engaged you are in the process, the more successful you will be in meeting quality people and turn your dating life into a rewarding relationship. I say, don’t wait. Initiate!

My first recommendation is to log on daily and review your daily matches that the site selected for you. Don’t just click yes on the green icon, but take that extra step and send an email, as Match reports he’ll be 15 times more likely to respond to an email. You can view his photos and profile before drafting your email. This way you can make it more personalized. Remember to keep your emails short, no more than five sentences, and ask a question. Refer to something he said in his profile and click on send.

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Once you’ve gotten into the habit of writing to your daily matches, take it a step further and look to see who has viewed you and then do your own search. Stick to the formula of five sentences in an email, make it personalized, refer to something he said in his profile in the search column, and start sending emails every day.

Remember, men get frustrated when they send out lots of emails and don’t receive many replies. Your email will stick out and he’ll be flattered to see it in his inbox.

At the end of the digital day, the more engaged you are in the process, the better your experience will be and you’ll be able to take your online relationship offline.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Do you have a question for Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Online Dating: January is the Busiest Time of the Year

heart2015 300x144It’s here! The first Sunday of the New Year, which brings more activity to online dating sites than any other day of the year. (Read below for some interesting statistics).

From New Year’s resolutions including joining a gym, to joining an online dating site to find love in 2015 tops the list for many singles. Are you ready to join the world’s largest digital dating party?

Think about it. Some relationships ran their course and couples broke up before the holidays. Others hung in there until New Year’s and realized they were in a relationship that wouldn’t go the distance. Some singles made the decision after having another holiday alone that they’d make a better effort to find their soul mate.

While Sunday is known to be a busy day for logins on Internet dating sites, the first Sunday of the year is the busiest day for new members to take action with their love lives.

  • According to PlentyofFish, 5pm, EST will break all the records with the most number of singles online at one time on the first Sunday of the year.
  • POF adds that singles that sign up in January are 15% more likely to meet a significant other and that it will take single men approximately 10 weeks to meet a significant other and it will take single women approximately 8 weeks to couple up.
  • The folks at Match.com agree that January 4th is the busiest day of the year for their site. Match reports a 38% increase in membership from December 26th through February 14th.

So whether you’re swiping right on Tinder or your mobile app or logging on to see your daily matches and who has viewed your profile, one thing is for sure. If you’re single and want to connect, you must have a digital dating strategy to help you stand out in the crowded playground.

Here are five tips for online dating in the New Year

  1. Change your Photos. I’m a big believer that a picture tells 1000 words. If you have the budget to hire a photographer, have him or her take photos of you in your natural environment. It’s an expense that might help you find your dream date.
  2. Create a New Catchy Screen Name. If you’re on a site which allows you to have a screen name or user name other than your first name, come up with something unique that describes your personality. Using your name and zip code isn’t very original or catchy. Some great names include anything athletic such as LovestoSki or YogaLover to anything artistic such as MusicLover or Drummer4U.
  3. Ask questions! Writing an online dating profile can be as bland as writing your resume while you’re job hunting. The difference is, you need to create an opportunity to open a dialog with your potential date. Describe things that you’d like to do together with someone as a couple and ask a question such as, I enjoy hiking in the Santa Monica Canyon. Have you ever been?
  4. Be proactive. They say the squeaky wheel gets the deal in business, but what about online? Too many women are afraid to contact a man because they think they will appear needy or desperate. I say, toss out those old rules. Men are flattered when they receive an email from a woman, so don’t wait, initiate.
  5. Be engaged. Whether you’re looking for a ring on your finger or just a date for Friday night, the more active that you are online, the more likely your profile will be raised to the top. Many sites give you tools to search for dates, opportunities to “like” photos, and send you emails with potential matches. The more you use these tools, the greater chance you have to fill up your date card.

If you need some help, our signature Irresistible Profiles and personalized dating coaching programs just might be exactly what you’re looking for in the New Year. We’ve helped singles around the world find love and look forward to helping you while looking for love online.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profiles over 20 years ago. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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How to Change Your Age on Tinder

Fotolia 74923589 XS 150x150There was a time when many singles dating online would lie about their age to appear younger to fit into a search.

Now with dating in a Tinder world, the trend has changed to the extreme opposite, where members of the hottest mobile dating app are now clamoring to indicate an age of triple digits at 100 years old, to hide the truth about their real age.

While this may seem absolutely ridiculous, my phone rings every week with people asking, actually begging for me to teach them how to change their age on Tinder to an absurd age of 100+ years old, give or take ten years.

If you’re wondering how to accomplish this, here are the steps you need to take, but remember, you’ll be deactivating your Tinder profile, so if there’s a special someone that you’re swooning over, make sure you get their phone number to call or text before they go off into Internet heaven.

How to Change Your Age on Tinder

  1. Log onto your Facebook account from a desktop or non-mobile version, where you will need to change your birth year. To do this, click on “about” and scroll down to your birth date and click edit.
  2. Go to your birth year and click on edit and change the year. PLEASE NOTE: Facebook limits the amount of times that you can change your age. As of now, you can only change it once and it will ask you to confirm this change.
  3. Log off of Facebook.
  4. Log onto Tinder through the mobile app.
  5. Click on the gear on the top left side of the mobile app.
  6. Click on app settings and scroll to the bottom and click “Delete Account.” PLEASE NOTE: Do not just delete the app from your phone, as it will not delete your account settings.
  7. Remember that deleting your account will permanently delete your matches, conversations, photos, etc. Tinder will ask you if you are sure you want to delete your account. Click on “Delete Account.”IMG 1547 169x300
  8. View all of your app icons on your mobile phone and tap on the Tinder app lightly. All of your mobile app icons will shake and click on the x in the upper left hand corner of the Tinder icon. This will then delete the app from your phone.
  9. Log back onto Facebook and double check that your new birth date was changed.
  10. Download the Tinder app again as brand new on your mobile phone.
  11. Sign up for Tinder using the Facebook login.
  12. Your new Tinder age should appear on your Tinder profile. NOTE: You can keep your birth date private on your Facebook profile.
    Please remember, at Cyber-Dating Expert, we discourage people from lying about their age on dating sites and on Facebook or other social networking sites.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for Dating Advice.

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Match.com Users in 2014 Were Down to Earth [infographic]

Screen Shot 2014 12 12 at 9.42.28 AM 300x105As 2014 is now winding down, our friends at Match.com have come up with a fun infographic showing the trends of their millions of single users who were looking for love online. In 2014, the site was responsible for setting up 5.48 million dates!

Among the popular terms, singles included the following:

  • Down to earth (mentioned in 232,348 profiles)
  • Travel (mentioned in 1,005,346 profiles)
  • The film, “Frozen” (mentioned in 5,501 profiles)
  • The word, “selfie” (mentioned in 5,613 profiles)

Other popular words included: electrician, warmhearted, welcoming, crochet, welder, zumba, quickest, cosmetology, ladies, and sewing.

Wondering how your profile stacks up to the others on Match? Check out this infographic for more details.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Holiday Dating Survival Guide

holidaysurvival 300x283It’s safe to say that emotions are flying high during the holidays for singles, new couples not sure how to define themselves, those who have had a recent breakup, and those who are tired of hearing from their relatives about their relationship status.

The holiday period from Thanksgiving to New Year’s brings up a lot of emotions. In the words of Fleetwood Mac’s Stevie Nicks from the song Dreams, it’s natural to think of memories of what you had and what you lost. The band also sings about how “You make loving fun” so don’t turn down the volume just yet.  Listening to music this time of year can give you both strength and send you down memory lane.

One thing I know for sure, is my phone is ringing with singles wanting to connect and meet someone new to share the holidays with, so there are plenty of singles looking for love online now.

Still, I know how tough it is at the holidays being single. I’ve been there. I’ve been watching the abundance of posts on Facebook of couples who are changing their relationship status to “In a Relationship.” If your status isn’t that in that category, it can be a digital stab to your heart.

I’m here to tell you that this is actually the best time of year to meet someone wonderful to date. Filling your date card with quality people is quite possible, so take away that frown and look at my tips in our holiday survival guide.

The Cyber-Dating Expert Survival Guide to Help you Through the Holidays, Online and IRL.

1. Don’t rely on Social Media to go down memory lane

Sure I know it’s natural to take a peek to see what your ex is up to, but if they’re jetting off to Paris, heading for sunshine in Hawaii and kissing under the mistletoe, you’re hurting yourself big time. Instead, try to create your own new memories. Walk down a festively decorated street and snap a few photos of trees, store windows, and cheerful pictures and post them on your Facebook wall. So what if you’re alone or with your BFF. You’re out of the house and not living in the past. Digital snooping is also on the rise, especially during the holidays. It brings out the worst in many. At PlentyofFish, they surveyed over 9000 of their users between the ages of 20 -40 to find out what their holiday dating habits were. POF found that 82% of the women were actually checking the Facebook statuses of guys they were dating to see what they were doing when they weren’t around. Wouldn’t you be better off out, than attached to your phone?

2. Fill that date card and stay organized

Anxiety can be at an all time high, but joining a few dating sites and using mobile dating apps will be a great ego boost. It will also give you the chance to meet a lot of people. However, don’t embarrass yourself by calling Don, Doug or introduce yourself as Jackie from PlentyOfFish if you met him on eHarmony. The easiest way to do this is by creating an excel spreadsheet and logging your conversations. You would do this for a job, right? Well this is a job with a possibility of a lifetime of love. It’s worth the effort.

3. Block your ex’s profile

If you’ve recently ended a relationship with someone you met online and it wasn’t on good terms, chances are you’ve both rejoined the site to meet others. Make sure you block his or her profile so they don’t appear in a search and to avoid the obsessiveness that results when you check to see when they last logged on or if they’ve deactivated their profile. Don’t assume if their profile is gone that they’ve ridden off into the sunset with someone else. Sometimes people just take a break or they may have blocked you.

4. Don’t jump into a rebound relationship

They say the easiest way to get over someone is by replacing them in a New York minute with someone new, but is it right? Sure the initial infatuation stage is a lot of fun and it’s nice to have a warm body around, but finding someone new when you aren’t ready to date isn’t always the answer. Spend time with friends, hang out with an ex that you’re still on good terms with and can be yourself with, and spend time alone reading, writing, or taking a cooking class or French lesson.

5. Discuss holiday gift giving

Before you run off to Tiffany to get him sterling silver cufflinks engraved with his initials after three weeks of dating, ask yourself how overwhelming it would feel if he showed up with an engagement ring one month in. It could be over the top, right? Come up with a reasonable budget. Perhaps you can get him a cashmere scarf or sweater, tickets to a concert or sporting event, and make home made cookies. You could get her a gift certificate to a spa, gourmet chocolates, a fun accessory for her mobile phone, tickets to a show or a museum exhibition, or a piece of costume jewelry in her favorite color. Avoid giving her just lingerie, unless it’s something she picks out for herself.

6. It’s Peak Season for Online Daters

The good news is that more singles are signing up for dating sites between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. Match reports they see a jump of about 25-30% in new members signing up between Christmas and Valentine’s Day and at Cyber-Dating Expert, it’s the busiest holiday season ever with new singles joining online dating sites and brand new dating profiles being created.

7. Accept ALL holiday invitations

If your inbox is filled with invitations for holiday mixers, fill your calendar and put on your party dress. Remember to smile at everyone. Business networking events are in abundance now, so you won’t have to feel that you’re the only single person there. Walk in with confidence and you’ll be turning heads and filling your date card.

8. Online Love is a year-round event

People meet online and fall in love all year long. I know a couple that met online on Christmas Eve on Facebook who are now engaged. I know of another couple that met online on eHarmony on Valentine’s Day who are now happily married. One couple fell in love at first sight that met on Match. She hadn’t had a serious relationship in over 10 years and now they’re married. Yes online dating is a numbers game. You’ll be juggling dates, canceling dates, rescheduling dates, it’s exhausting, but it can be so very rewarding as it has been for millions of others.

9. Fall in love with you

At the holidays, please take a deep breath; log on to fill your date card if and when it feels good to you, not because you’re feeling lonely. If you need to take a break from dating, that’s fine. There are no rules, other than to fall in love with yourself first. It’s the best place to be to start any new relationship.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace this holiday season, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and was a very early adopter of Internet dating. She’s the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com, author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Cyber Monday – Free Irresistible Dating Profile Critique

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Welcome to our Cyber Monday special at Cyber-Dating Expert.

This year, we’re making Cyber Monday so irresistible, that we’re providing 15 Magic Minutes of critiquing your dating profile, LIVE for FREE!.

That’s right. There’s no road rage, trampling on people in parking lots or getting out your credit card. We know the holidays are tough, so on Monday, December 1st and Tuesday, December 2nd, sign up for our 15 Magic Minutes and schedule your free session to review your profile.

If you’re new to online dating, take that time to talk about your dating dilemmas for free. If you need some extra hand holding, we’re offering 25% off our popular Internet dating packages including The Flirt, Going Steady, and Totally in Love.

To schedule your free session via phone or Skype, sign up below. This is limited to those who sign up on December 1st and 2nd, 2014 and sessions will take place during the month of December, 2014. Offer available to new clients only.

Thank you for signing up for our Cyber Monday special offer of a FREE online dating profile critique! We offer this irresistible special only once a year, so hurry before this offer expires on December 2, 2014 at midnight!

To schedule us, please fill out the contact form below. We’re also offering 25% off our Irresistible Coaching programs.

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)

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What are you waiting for? Sometimes the best things in life are free.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and was an early adopter of Internet dating. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

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Top 9 Ways to Get your eMail Noticed

Fotolia 18812125 XS 150x150So you’ve made it this far. You like what you’ve read in his online dating profile and everything is checking out. Now, there’s only one thing left to do; get the conversation started. Don’t worry, it’s a lot easier than it seems. After all, you don’t have to be spontaneous or quick on your delivery. You can take all the time you might need to write a gripping email that will engage him.

Here are Nine tips for snagging him with email

1)   Write a clever subject line. On many local dating sites your subject line is your first impression, so you need to make it pop! The key is to somehow relate to him using various approaches. Perhaps he’s a foodie as well. If so, consider writing, “from a fellow foodie” or if you know he’s into art try something like, “art event on a first date?” Pick something that really stood out to you and use it to your advantage to capture his attention.

2)   Personalize it. Once again, select specific elements from his profile and incorporate them. For example, if he says that he’s optimistic and has a sense of humor then mention that those things are important to you. Perhaps you like his smile – mention that as well and even add a smiley face emoticon.

3)   Don’t write a novel. That’s not to say keep it short. Though he might be interested in your life story, chances are he doesn’t want to hear it all at once. Leave the longer conversation for the first date. The goal in writing this email should be to pique his interest and leave some mystery so he responds. Writing too much in an initial email could mean more effort for him to reply and he might put your message on the backburner as a result. Keep it simple and don’t over think it. Try to focus on a couple of things that are important and let the conversation grow from there.

4)   Ask a question. He will be more likely to respond if you ask him a question – this could be anything. Make it lighthearted or serious to get the conversation started.

5)   Show your personality. Everyone loves someone with personality. This makes dating more fun. Show him a slice of who you are in your tone and delivery. If you’re soft spoken and shy, there’s nothing wrong with mentioning that. If you have a sense of humor, crack a few jokes. Perhaps you have a type-A personality. If so, there’s nothing wrong with sharing a story about your personality type. Just make sure to be you and be honest and authentic. He will appreciate it a lot more than receiving a generic message.

6)   Don’t sound desperate. No one wants to date someone who is needy, so try to keep your email casual. Try not to come on too strong, otherwise he might label you as needy or desperate. The first email is just an introduction and exploration to see if you two are even on the same page. And remember, you are just as much the chooser as he is the picker.

7)   Be clear in your message. The last thing you want to do is confuse him. You have all the time in the world to string together thoughts and ideas of why you’re writing to him. Take your time, relax and have fun with it. Just make sure that your email flows and it’s relevant to something that he can relate to.  Communicating a strong, clear, and concise message says a lot about someone and he will notice the effort you’ve taken in contacting him.

8)   Use bold text. Not everywhere. Just the main points you’re trying to get across. For example, if you really want him to know that you love dogs, write I really love dogs too and he’ll know just how much dogs mean to you. Do this for anything you might be passionate about.

9)   Reference date ideas – Mention a few local activities that you are into, see what kind of responses you get. Positive reactions to these outings could be good indications for where you might end up going on a first date.

We hope these tips will lead to more clicks that lead to better conversations. Good luck!

Just remember that love is always the answer, so the question becomes, how do you find it if you’re dating over 50? We’re offering an opportunity to win a free eHarmony 3 or 6 month membership. eHarmony gives singles a clear advantage, matching you with only deeply compatible singles! Lots of people are beating the odds by betting on love. And if you register now at Cyber Dating Expert you could win a FREE eHarmony account. Sounds like a win-win while looking for love online.

Contest runs from November 13, 2014 – December, 13 2014

Contest Rules

For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt.

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How to Get Lucky on Tinder

TinderGraphic 300x197Since swiping right and left has become part of our digital vocabulary, those enjoying or obsessing over their Tinder account on their mobile phones might need a bit more help on how to optimize their Tinder profiles.

With over 1 billion matches and 100 marriages to date, isn’t it time you tried Tinder?

This infographic shows two active Tinder users who experimented to increase the number of matches on the hottest mobile app on the planet.

Here are some tips on how to have the best Tinder profile.

1. Swipe right on every profile to increase the chances of a match.

2. Log on daily.

3. Ditch the group shots and make it all about you.

4.  Have a great bio!

If you need some hand holding on how to make Tinder work for you so you can find a quality person to date, contact us for details.

Have you met anyone on Tinder?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Read our blog for more mobile dating and Tinder dating advice.

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20 Flirty Text Messages To Capture His Heart

photo e1414096505874Wondering how to start your day and let your crush know that you’re thinking about him?

Flirting via text messages is the best digital foreplay and is guaranteed to keep your guy attached to his mobile phone waiting for the sound of your custom chime tone.

Between emoji’s and xoxo’s, here are 20 text messages guaranteed to reach his digital heart for every relationship stage.

  1. Thinking of you. Everyone wants to feel like they are special and thinking of you is a sweet way to make him smile. Don’t be surprised if he sends back a quick smiley face.
  2. Good Morning Handsome. This text goes right to the heart of his ego and will warm his heart throughout the day. Don’t be surprised if he sends a text that says, “Good morning beautiful” or “Good morning gorgeous.”
  3. You were hot last night! You can never go wrong the morning after when you tell your guy how hot he was in bed. He’ll be scheduling the next date for an encore ASAP. Don’t be surprised if he sends a text that says, “smokin hot.”
  4. Guess what I’m wearing? Whether you’re in sexy lingerie or just got out of the shower, the visual of what you’re wearing won’t matter. He’ll be thinking about how to undress you while staring at his phone. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “What color?”
  5. I long for your delicious kisses. Kissing is first base and we all know what happens next. If he thinks you believe he’s an amazing kisser, he’ll be ready to come home to press his lips against yours in a New York moment. Don’t be surprised if he replies with a smiley face or an xoxo.
  6. I have a feeling tonight will be delicious. The ambiguity of this text is what makes it so exciting. Whether you’re cooking up a spicy dish in the kitchen or are saving yourself for dessert, he’ll know you’re flirting big time. Don’t be surprised if he responds with a smiley face or a text that says, “can’t wait!”
  7. What are you up to tonight? When your guy is hanging out at the office and realizes he has no plans for the evening, a casual get together with you just might be a great way to end the day. This text doesn’t necessarily mean you’re looking for a booty call. You may just want to catch a film or watch episodes of “Breaking Bad” on Netflix. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “Not much. And you?” This is your cue to suggest getting together for a spontaneous date or adding a future date to the calendar.
  8. I had a dream about you last night. This flirty text will let his imagination run wild. Who wouldn’t want someone dreaming about them? He’ll be fantasizing about details of your dream and might lose track of time before he responds. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “and how was it?” or “cool” or “sweet.”
  9. Wait until you see what I’m wearing tonight! Playing dress up can spice up your relationship. Whether he fantasizes about you wearing your cheerleader outfit or you have some new hot lingerie, his mind will be wandering all day. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “can’t wait!”
  10. Last night was amazing. [wait for his response and then type] Ready for a repeat performance? When your guy rocks it in the bedroom, he really wants to know that he has pleased you as well. Letting him know just how amazing it was will be the perfect morning text. When he responds with, “I know” or “sure was” then follow it up with the repeat performance request. He’ll be scheduling you on his calendar in a digital heartbeat.
  11. I can’t stop thinking about you. You know that feeling you both get in a new relationship when you think you might be smitten? Now’s the time to let him know, rather than keeping him waiting. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “me too!”
  12. Last night was fun. Can’t wait to see you again. Early on in a relationship, a guy’s got to get some feedback ladies.  There’s no better way to capture his digital heart than through his phone. This one’s clean and appropriate and gives him the confidence that you’ll say yes if he asks you out again. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “I had a blast” or “great time.”
  13. How did you sleep last night? Regardless of your relationship status, everyone imagines falling asleep in the arms of their crush someday. This sweet pillow talk text lets him know you’re thinking of him and is a great way to start the day. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “would have been better with you” or “not bad” or “ok” or “good….and you?”
  14. Hey you! If you’re still in the friend zone with someone, here’s a casual text just to let them know you’re thinking about them. It’s similar to “thinking of you” but a bit more casual. Don’t be surprised if he writes back with, “hey!” Guys are simple. One word responses suit them quite well.
  15. Miss you. [wait for his response and type] Wish you were here. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. When you or your beau are traveling, chances are he will miss your presence. These affectionate texts will warm his heart. Don’t be surprised if he responds with, “Me too.”
  16. I’ve been thinking about you all day. I know you don’t want to be obsessive, but if you’ve already exchanged a few text messages with your guy, why not reach out after lunch and let him know he’s on your mind. Don’t be surprised if he responds with a smiley face.
  17. Can you sneak away for coffee? While you might not be having an illicit affair with your beau, there’s something sexy and mysterious about sneaking away from work to see your sweetie for 15 minutes. If he’s free, don’t be surprised if he responds with, “sure.” Then it’s up to you to suggest the locale.
  18. Good night and sleep tight xo. Sending a good night text with an xo is as close to saying “I love you” as it gets for those who don’t text those three special words. Don’t be surprised if he responds with “nite” or “xo.”
  19. Sweet dreams. Xo. Sure dreams would be sweeter if you were in them, so why not send him into dreamland with you on his mind. Don’t be surprised if he responds with “xo” or “you too.”
  20. Trying to fall asleep…can’t stop thinking about you. When you’re not falling asleep in his arms, sometimes you can get restless and your mind will wander. No need to fret. Let him know that you can’t get to sleep. Chances are he might still be awake as well and a little late night flirting with texts back-and-forth might just be the medicine you need for a good night’s sleep.

Other Flirting Tips:

1. Use spell-check before pushing the send button. Often the auto-correct feature will kick in and your text might be misinterpreted, or worse yet, even be offensive.

2. Don’t send a sext or nude photo. Remember, your guy might be rushing to a meeting and his cell phone might be sitting on his desk. Other times your text might be sent to the wrong person in error if you’re sending multiple text messages. Remember, if you wouldn’t want his boss or co-workers seeing your text, it isn’t worth pressing the send button.

3. Keep it simple. This is where “less is more” works the best. Leave the novel at home as it screams heavy drama and keep your texts short, so the back and forth digital banter can begin.

4. Remember, you’re interrupting his busy workday and he might not be able to respond right away if he’s in a meeting. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t seen your text and is feeling quite distracted with thoughts of you. Don’t angst over the response time. If he’s into you, you’ll be hearing the chime of his text on your phone within a few hours.

5. Know that a man is visual and reactive. He’ll enjoy seeing a cute photo of the object of his affection and will want to brag about you to his friends, so start texting your smiling face to your guy today.

How are you using text messages to flirt?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

 

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