In the News

#DateChat Debut – Valentine’s Day. Love It or Hate It?

Date Chat Valentine's

Come one, come all to the Valentine’s session of #DateChat on Twitter.

On Thursday, February 12, 2015 we will tackle the subject of Valentine’s Day.

Questions we will be covering include:

Valentine’s Day. Do you love it, or hate it?

How to Handle Valentine’s Day if you’re in a new relationship?

Valentine’s Gift giving.

Can you still find a date for Valentine’s Day?

How to handle a Valentine’s breakup?

What was your best Valentine’s Day ever?

What was your worst Valentine’s Day ever?

Would you text an ex for Valentine’s Day?

Friends that will be joining us include Dr. Wendy Walsh, America’s Relationship Expert @DrWendyWalsh,  Bruce Sallan, founder of #DadChat @BruceSallan, and Mark Miller, author of “500 Dates.”

If you’re single, are a dating blogger, or just want to hang out in a fun chat filled with dating advice, join us for #DateChat on Thursday at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET and make sure to head over to #DadChat at 6pm/PT, 9pm/ET where we continue the conversation about Valentine’s Day with Bruce Sallan.

Ready, set, and let’s tweet for your Valentine.

Sample tweets:

Join @JulieSpira for #DateChat on 2/12, 5p/PT, 8p/ET for #Valentines tips #dating http://www.cyberdatingexpert.com/datechat-valentines/

Don’t miss #DateChat on Thursday 2/12 at 5pm/PT for what to get your #Valentine http://www.cyberdatingexpert.com/datechat-valentines/

#ValentinesDay. Love it or hate it? Join @JulieSpira for #DateChat to tweet-and-tell 2/12. 5p/PT, 8p/ET http://www.cyberdatingexpert.com/datechat-valentines/

Print Friendly

Why Mobile Dating Apps and Tinder are Hot

Mobile Dating valentine'sThis Valentine’s Day, the media is all a buzz about rise in popularity of mobile dating apps.

Recently at the iDate Conference, I presented Tinder with the award of Best Mobile Dating App of 2015.

This award was well-deserved, considering two years ago, Tinder wasn’t a household word like Match and eHarmony has been for years for online daters.

In an interview with The New York Times, I told reporter Molly Wood  that the increase in smartphone usage directly relates to the increase in dating app usage.

“People are dating on the fly, they’re dating in real time, they’re hooking up or meeting for dates, they’re doing both. Same day, same hour.”

Read: Lead by Tinder, a Surge in Mobile Dating Apps in the New York Times

So how did a perceived hook-up app become the hottest trend for singles looking for love online?

1. They penetrated the college marketplace.

These early adopters paved the way for others to jump on the bandwagon. In time, the demographics started to rise and millions of users were playing the Tinder game.

2. They made it easy to create a profile.

With no long questions to answer and no profile approval process, all one has to is download the app, connect to Facebook where it pulls your age and photos on Facebook, and add a short bio if you desire, however many ignore filling out the profile.

3. Set your preferences for distance and age parameters

Since Tinder is location-based, once you log on, it searches for potential matches close by. If you travel out of town, you’ll receive a whole new set of matches to make sure you’re not lonely at night.

4. Let the swiping and matching begin

Quite simply, you swipe right if you’re attracted to someone and swipe left if you’re not. If both of you swipe right, then you’re notified that you’re a match and can start communicating in their private chat feature.

Online dating and mobile dating are a numbers game. The more often you swipe, the more often you’ll have the opportunity to be matched.

5. State Your Intentions

We are living in a world of swiping left and right and the habit has become the norm for other popular mobile dating apps. In order to be successful on Tinder, you must start swiping and become proactive about communicating with your matches. If you’re looking to find a relationship instead of a casual fling, you must fill out the information bio page and clearly state your dating intentions. Women find it refreshing when a man says, “Not looking for FWB or a hookup.”

At the iDate conference, it was pointed out by Mark Brooks from Courtland Brooks that only 8% of women were swiping right while viewing profiles of men. Men on the other hand were swiping right as often as possible, with the hopes that they can be matched.

Tinder reports over 1 billion swipes a day and matches over 12 million people a day. But are they actually meeting IRL?

An interesting trend that we are noticing is that a lot of men are posting their age on Tinder as 100 years old. The trend of not honestly stating your age in online dating has been around for years, but to become a centurion on Tinder means you’ll have to change your age on your Facebook profile. There’s no way to change your age on Tinder. Facebook makes it difficult to change your age and discourages this process by limiting the amount of times you can do so. Still, I encourage truth-in-advertising.

Related: How to Change Your Age on Tinder

As I told The New York Times, people who are using Tinder are also using other dating sites, sometimes paying for memberships. Having easy access to lots of different dates actually increases your odds of eventually finding a match. It’s making dates happen a lot more quickly and the more dates you go on, the better daters you become. Let mobile dating apps become your new best friend.

Are you swiping right on multiple mobile dating apps?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating. Julie’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT. Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Photo credit: Fotolia

Print Friendly

Dating in a Digital World

Texting Match Survey

It’s official! Singles are so attached to their mobile phones, that the sound of the chirping at night will actually wake them up to find out if their digital crush is sending a good night text saying, “Sweet dreams” to help them sleep better.

In the 5th Annual Singles in America Study released by Match, they focus on digital dating habits of 5,675 singles in the U.S. between the ages of 18 to 70+.

The study showed that singles looking for love online go on more dates than those who meet in bars or offline with online daters going on an average of 4.2 dates in 2014, as compared to offline daters who went on an average of 2.8 dates.

According to the study, 82% of singles went on a date in 2014 with someone they met online, as compared to 49% of those who were dating offline. The study also stated that online daters are looking for a more committed relationship, are more likely to be more educated, and have full time jobs.

While this makes a lot of sense with the huge dating pool and the focused activity of logging on daily to look for a date, as compared to going out organically, it reinforces what we already know: Online dating is efficient. It’s available 24-hours a day and if you take advantage of the matching features of many dating sites, you will be able to fill up your date card.

Since 60% of singles log onto social networking sites for an average of one-hour per day, start liking the posts of someone you might have a digital crush on, remember to use spell-check and grammar check,  and mind your texting manners to capture his or her heart.

Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Men to Women

1. Do post photos

2. Don’t text more than once before a reply

3. Do post sexy texts

4. Don’t text during work hours

5. Do post emoticons

6. Don’t post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)

Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Women to Men

1. Do post photos

2. Don’t post sexy texts

3. Do post emoticons

4. Don’t post sexy photos

5. Do post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)

6. Don’t text more than once before a reply

Full report and details at SinglesinAmerica.com

Match SIA study

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profile over 20 years ago. Julie’s the host of #DateChat on Thursdays at 5pm/PT on Twitter and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Print Friendly

Dating Ideas for a Snowstorm

Snowstorm - Cyber Dating ExpertIt was hard news story this week.

People panicked to fill up their pantries with food and water for the first blizzard of 2015. #Snowmageddon was heading to the east coast with record anticipated snowfall from New York to Boston. Before mass transit ceases to a halt, singles who have filled their date cards are probably wondering whether to cancel their dates or not.

While the snowstorm was milder than expected,  if you’re going to be snowbound at all this winter,  here are some ways to have fun with your date or still feel attached until it’s safe to go out and play again.

1. Go on a Skype or FaceTime Date

Still have electricity or a full battery on your computer? Get dressed up with what you’d wear on a date, remember to put on your lipstick ladies, and both of you grab a glass of wine or bubbly for the occasion. Log on and have a virtual date rather than canceling.

2. Answer these 36 Love Questions

A Modern Love column on the New York Times reads, To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This. These questions from Psychologist Dr. Aron suggest they can help you fall in love with anybody. Some questions include: Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life and Tell your partner something that you like about them. This exercise should help you get to know each other better and has been known to be responsible for some marriages.

Not sure if that’s realistic or not? Why not give it a try.

3. Binge Watch on Netflix

Snuggled up with your date? Why not spend the day or evening binge watching some romance on Netflix if you can’t be at work. From House of Cards to Scandal and New Girl to Madmen, you’ll be bonding with your sweetie and won’t be able turn off the TV.

4. Build a Snowman

If you can make it to his or her home, bundle up and go outside to build a snowman or make a snow angel. It’s playful and will bring you back to your youth. In between, indulge with a snowball fight or two.

5. Create an Indoor Scavenger Hunt

If the geography and transportation allow you to keep your scheduled date, a great way to make it fun and flirty is to create a treasure or scavenger hunt in your home. To do this, place romantic clues in envelopes around your house and number them. At each location, there will be a love note with suggestions for a kiss, a back rub, a foot massage, or whatever your imagination will allow.

6. Write a Traditional Love Note.

If your electricity is out and the battery life has expired on your mobile phone, light a candle and grab and pen and paper. It’s time to get traditional and draft a hand-written love note. When you get together for your rescheduled date, hand him or her an envelope to open. You’ll be surprised how it will be received.

Will you be canceling your dates or be taking a digital approach to stay in touch?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.  For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter and join the conversation on #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 8pm/ET.

Photo credit: Fotolia

Print Friendly

Announcing our #DateChat on Twitter

#DateChat

Ready, set, tweet!

We’re super-excited at Cyber-Dating Headquarters to let you know that we’ll be hosting #DateChat on Twitter every Thursday at 8pm Eastern time, 5pm Pacific time.

#DateChat will bring together singles who are looking for love online and IRL to talk about their dating issues and relationship desires. #DateChat will be hosted by online dating expert Julie Spira. Every week we’ll be joined by a guest-host to stimulate the conversation.

Whether you’re newly single or are interested in dating your sweetheart, #DateChat will help spice up your love life.

Here’s how to join the party.

Sign onto Twitter or use your favorite Twitter management software such as Hootsuite or TweetDeck. Make sure you create a stream or do a search for #DateChat and save the search. If you have a question or are replying to a question, remember to use the hashtag of #DateChat in each tweet so others can communicate with you.

To make it easier, you can also log onto TweetChat, where it’s simple to stay in the conversation. Just type in our hashtag of #TweetChat and follow the stream. This will automatically add our hashtag to any tweet. Feel free to retweet any dating advice that you’d like your followers to see or ask questions for the dating community to see.

 

We look forward to chatting with you on Thursdays to get you date-ready for the weekend.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter!

Print Friendly

The Buzz About Catfishing

Catfish

What’s all the buzz about ‘Catfishing?’

Ever since the MTV show came out, singles and couples are glued to the television to find out the dirt on who’s being ‘Catfished.’

From women pretending to be men and vice versa, people are falling in love online, but are they really?
In reality, many are just digital pen-pals.

To learn more, listen to the morning show on WDBR in Springfield, where Julie Spira was a recent guest with Dylan, Julie & Co.

 

Related: Video: Is Your Date a Catfish?

From dating safety to how to find a date for Valentine’s Day, you won’t want to miss this audio recording.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Related: Online Dating and Catfishing – Safety First

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

Print Friendly

Countdown to Valentine’s Day – How to Snag a Date

Valentine's Day - CyberDatingExpert.comIt’s exactly one month until Valentine’s Day. If you’re single, there’s no need to hide under the covers. If you’re dating someone, but he hasn’t asked you to be his Valentine just yet, here are some tips to enjoy the day, regardless of your relationship status. Remember, Valentine’s is on a weekend this year and it’s also during President’s Day weekend, so think big and be optimistic.

1. Ramp up Your Online Search

Let’s face it, everyone seems to be online theses days, so if you’re not logging on EVERY day, checking your matches and responding quickly to his emails, some other girl just might get his attention faster. It’s true what they say that the squeaky wheel gets the deal. If you can carve out time to go to the gym, you should be able to schedule time to log on daily. Make sure you’ve signed up for notifications of when someone has emailed you or made you their favorite so you can respond quickly. Ditch the old waiting game rules. This is how the digital dating world words.

2. Keep Swiping Right

If you’re on Tinder, Hinge, or are using the mobile dating apps from your favorite online dating site, make more of an effort to log on and swipe right to your matches. It’s really a numbers game. Unless your match is advertising for a hookup or looks like an ax murderer, swipe right and take a moment to say hello. A guy will be flattered to see the notification that you’re digging him digitally. Remember to take your relationship from online to offline so you can meet IRL.

3. Attend Singles Events

The one thing about singles events is, everyone is in the same boat. They’re single and are hoping to connect with someone. Check out Match.com’s Stir events in your city, RSVP to a MeetUp for a subject you’re passionate about, and attend business networking events. The more you’re out there in the public, the more opportunities you have to flirt with a potential date. Remember not to be too coy. Be bold and smile. Dr. Pat Allen, author of
“Getting to I Do,” suggests the five-second stare. It may feel like an eternity, but it may bring you closer to that cute guy across the room. P.S. Remember to wear red! It’s the color of love and romance and is known to attract men.

Related: Read Valentine’s Survival Guide

4. Text an Ex

Did you know that 20% of singles do text an ex on or around Valentine’s Day? So if both of you are single, why not get together and go down memory lane. Make sure you’re on the same page and just enjoy the evening. You may not be rekindling, but the familiarity might just make it a fun evening rather than flying solo.

5. Don’t Go Overboard

From going to an amusement park to ride the Ferris Wheel to taking a cooking class or going ice skating, make Valentine’s Day a no-pressure experience if you’re in a new relationship and aren’t exclusive yet. There’s no need to break the bank.

Related: Read 10 Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Grab your BFF’s, dress in pink or red, and head to the movies or a concert together. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about love. It’s about spending quality time with someone you really like.

Are you a fan or foe of Valentine’s Day?

Photo credit: Fotolia

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Print Friendly

Join Me at iDate in Las Vegas

Come one, come all to the Internet Dating Conference, the largest conference about online dating!

The 40th iDate Conference will be held at the Tropicana Hotel on January 20-22, 2015 and I’ll be on hand on three panels and will be presenting the Best Mobile Dating App at the iDate Awards on the evening of January 21st.

Here’s the rundown of events for Online Dating Expert Julie Spira

  • Wednesday, January 21: CNN Panel: Focus on Content Marketing and Industry Trends – 3:30pm Cohiba 6 & 7
  • Wednesday, January 21: iDate Awards – 7pm, Tropicana, Cohiba Ballroom 1
  • Thursday, January 22: Essence Panel – How Date Experts on How to Use PR and Build Their Brand – 1:30pm
  • Thursday, January 22: Final Debate: 4pm

For a $50 discount and to purchase tickets and register for iDate, click here.

View our video below for details on the panels.

I’ll see you in Las Vegas!

Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice.

Print Friendly

Top 15 Questions for the Online Dating Expert at Match Stir

Cyber Dating ExpertIt was a busy night at the first mixer of the year in Los Angeles with Match.com for their new members to mingle, get photos, and ask me any burning dating questions they had to make the most of their membership during the busiest month of the year, January.

Held at The Phoenix in Beverly Hills, over 100 singles lined up to get their profile photos taken and to find out how they can be more successful with online dating.

Here were some of the top questions single men and women were asking. We’ll be answering them one at a time in upcoming articles on CyberDatingExpert.com.

  1. Should women be initiating contact with men?
  2. How should I begin with online dating now that I’m widowed?
  3. How many pictures should I be posting on my profile photo?
  4. How long should my emails be? Should I reveal all about myself?
  5. I come across as very direct in my profile. Is that scaring men off?
  6. I don’t like texting and won’t text during the day. The guy I’m dating is annoyed that I won’t respond. What should I do?
  7. I haven’t had a date in 3 months on Match. Am I playing too hard to get?
  8. My screen name is my first and last name. Is that ok?
  9. I had an email exchange with a guy four times in one day. I’m not writing back to him, even though it’s my turn. If I do, will I appear needy?
  10. I’m new to online dating and already had two bad dates. Should I give up?
  11. What should I write to a woman to get more responses?
  12. How much should a man reveal about his occupation?
  13. Which photos should I include in my Tinder profile?
  14. Why aren’t women writing back to me?
  15. How long should I wait to ask for a commitment?

To start with, let’s answer the first question that multiple women had asked. Some of them were traditional with old-fashioned values and didn’t believe a woman should initiate contact with men. While these women were attractive, they weren’t filling their date cards and were not utilizing all the simple features to maximize their time on Match.

You need to be engaged in the process and an active participant

Here’s the thing. The more engaged you are in the process, the more successful you will be in meeting quality people and turn your dating life into a rewarding relationship. I say, don’t wait. Initiate!

My first recommendation is to log on daily and review your daily matches that the site selected for you. Don’t just click yes on the green icon, but take that extra step and send an email, as Match reports he’ll be 15 times more likely to respond to an email. You can view his photos and profile before drafting your email. This way you can make it more personalized. Remember to keep your emails short, no more than five sentences, and ask a question. Refer to something he said in his profile and click on send.

Match email cyberdatingexpert.com

Once you’ve gotten into the habit of writing to your daily matches, take it a step further and look to see who has viewed you and then do your own search. Stick to the formula of five sentences in an email, make it personalized, refer to something he said in his profile in the search column, and start sending emails every day.

Remember, men get frustrated when they send out lots of emails and don’t receive many replies. Your email will stick out and he’ll be flattered to see it in his inbox.

At the end of the digital day, the more engaged you are in the process, the better your experience will be and you’ll be able to take your online relationship offline.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Do you have a question for Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Print Friendly

Online Dating: January is the Busiest Time of the Year

Online Dating 2015It’s here! The first Sunday of the New Year, which brings more activity to online dating sites than any other day of the year. (Read below for some interesting statistics).

From New Year’s resolutions including joining a gym, to joining an online dating site to find love in 2015 tops the list for many singles. Are you ready to join the world’s largest digital dating party?

Think about it. Some relationships ran their course and couples broke up before the holidays. Others hung in there until New Year’s and realized they were in a relationship that wouldn’t go the distance. Some singles made the decision after having another holiday alone that they’d make a better effort to find their soul mate.

While Sunday is known to be a busy day for logins on Internet dating sites, the first Sunday of the year is the busiest day for new members to take action with their love lives.

  • According to PlentyofFish, 5pm, EST will break all the records with the most number of singles online at one time on the first Sunday of the year.
  • POF adds that singles that sign up in January are 15% more likely to meet a significant other and that it will take single men approximately 10 weeks to meet a significant other and it will take single women approximately 8 weeks to couple up.
  • The folks at Match.com agree that January 4th is the busiest day of the year for their site. Match reports a 38% increase in membership from December 26th through February 14th.

So whether you’re swiping right on Tinder or your mobile app or logging on to see your daily matches and who has viewed your profile, one thing is for sure. If you’re single and want to connect, you must have a digital dating strategy to help you stand out in the crowded playground.

Here are five tips for online dating in the New Year

  1. Change your Photos. I’m a big believer that a picture tells 1000 words. If you have the budget to hire a photographer, have him or her take photos of you in your natural environment. It’s an expense that might help you find your dream date.
  2. Create a New Catchy Screen Name. If you’re on a site which allows you to have a screen name or user name other than your first name, come up with something unique that describes your personality. Using your name and zip code isn’t very original or catchy. Some great names include anything athletic such as LovestoSki or YogaLover to anything artistic such as MusicLover or Drummer4U.
  3. Ask questions! Writing an online dating profile can be as bland as writing your resume while you’re job hunting. The difference is, you need to create an opportunity to open a dialog with your potential date. Describe things that you’d like to do together with someone as a couple and ask a question such as, I enjoy hiking in the Santa Monica Canyon. Have you ever been?
  4. Be proactive. They say the squeaky wheel gets the deal in business, but what about online? Too many women are afraid to contact a man because they think they will appear needy or desperate. I say, toss out those old rules. Men are flattered when they receive an email from a woman, so don’t wait, initiate.
  5. Be engaged. Whether you’re looking for a ring on your finger or just a date for Friday night, the more active that you are online, the more likely your profile will be raised to the top. Many sites give you tools to search for dates, opportunities to “like” photos, and send you emails with potential matches. The more you use these tools, the greater chance you have to fill up your date card.

If you need some help, our signature Irresistible Profiles and personalized dating coaching programs just might be exactly what you’re looking for in the New Year. We’ve helped singles around the world find love and look forward to helping you while looking for love online.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profiles over 20 years ago. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Print Friendly

« Previous PageNext Page »