It was a joy and pleasure to be a guest on Larry King Now, with guest host Katherine Schwarzenegger on the topic of mobile dating, Tinder, online dating, and dating in the Digital Age.
In the full segment, “Swipe Right: Dating in the Digital Age,” I was joined by Grant Langston from eHarmony, Psychologist Rob Weiss, and Johnny Drubel.
From how many photos to put on your profile to finding love and hooking up, watch Katherine and I discuss the segment below:
Expert Opinion: How to Create Your Best Dating Profile
Full interview: Swipe Right: Dating in the Digital Age
In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a reader has a huge dilemma. Her partner thinks she’s looking for other options on Tinder, when she knows she hasn’t been using the mobile app. Did she get busted or did technology get the worst of the situation?
We moved into a house together and we met via Tinder.
He received a message from his friend saying he saw my Tinder account saying that I was active three days ago. It was a shock to my partner and myself as the day I was ‘supposedly’ on Tinder was the day I spent four hours driving around and moving into the new house and the rest of the day I had a dead mobile phone due to using all the battery on the GPS.
Is there any type of way that my Tinder profile could say I was active when I wasn’t using it as it is quite hard to prove that I was not on it?
The Tinder app was uninstalled on my phone months ago and I have not downloaded it recently, so I am wondering if there is any way that something could have happened to make it ‘active’ when I had not used it? My partner and I had had a few fights last week but as I explained to him when we have arguments I straight away confront him and try to sort it out on the spot so we sort it out and don’t have to be angry or upset. He believes me because he knows that is what I do and that I’m not the type of person to go and download a dating app due to a few small fights. So I am in need of some help with explaining how my profile was active when I wasn’t using it. I know I didn’t go on it and he also believes me but we do both think it suspicious that my tinder account says it was active 3 days ago.
I’m sorry for your Tinder dilemma, but am glad to hear you met someone special on their mobile app.
Having a partner think you’re looking for options when you’re moving forward in your relationship can make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Often mobile apps run in the background on different mobile phones.
As I don’t work for Tinder, I don’t know exactly what happened in your case.
If you removed the app from your phone, it’s still considered an active app and you will appear in searches as a potential match.
The only way for you not to to appear in a search, is if you completely deactivate your Tinder profile. Removing it from your phone just isn’t enough.
Remember, if you permanently delete your account, all of your matches and communications will disappear. In this case, it’s probably a good thing.
I think both of you should go through this exercise together in an effort to move forward in good faith.
1. Download the Tinder app again on your phone.
2. Open the app and click on the gear in the upper left hand corner.
3. Click on “App settings.”
4. Scroll down and click “Delete Account.”
5. You’ll see a message that will say “Account successfully deleted.”
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Do you have a question for Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and helps singles by creating their Irresistible Profiles. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for online dating and mobile dating advice and join in the conversation for #DateChat on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET.
Need help with Tinder? Check out our Swiping Right service to maximize your Tinder profile and experience.
We’ve heard about the upcoming launch of Tinder Plus for months now and it’s finally launching, as reported in TechCrunch. So far, it’s been tested in the UK, Brazil, and Germany.
So what will the difference be for Tinder users and are YOU willing to pay $9.99 a month if you’re under 30 and $19.99 for if you’re 30 and over, for the added bonus of being able to rewind your last swipe if you accidentally swiped left instead of right? Will you start receiving limited matches with the free version? Some of these questions are unknown, but here’s what we do know for now.
The new Tinder Plus has some added features including:
1. Rewind – Have you ever swiped so fast that you swiped left on a profile and have had swipe-regret? I hear from men all the time frustrated with the lost profile. Now you can get that digital crush back with the hopes of finding a mutual match.
2. Change your location – Great if you’d like to connect with people before you travel. The free version is location-based, so you’ll have to arrive at your location to date on the fly. You can also expand your radius and cast a wider net.
3. Advertising free – Since Tinder Plus will be advertising free, you can assume the standard Tinder app will be filled with ads before you know it. This is their way of monetizing their millions of users on both the free app and Tinder Plus for a fee.
4. Unlimited Likes – You can like profiles, photos, and more to add to your swiping fun. After all, it is a game.
Tinder is expected to be an in-app experience, so you won’t have to download another version of Tinder Plus to upgrade your service.
Other free sites such as OkCupid offer a premium service called A List, which allows you to browse anonymously, get read receipts for emails, and change your user name, among other features.
RELATED: SWIPING RIGHT FOR LOVE
Here’s a fun video to watch about some expected features. The question is, will Tinder still be fun and easy to use? Will you pay $9.99 a month or more to change your experience or will you stay on the free version?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET. Julie helps singles find love online and from the convenience of their mobile phones. For more information on our Swiping Right program to help you find love on Tinder, click here.
Follow @JulieSpira on Tinder
Recently at the iDate Conference, I presented Tinder with the award of Best Mobile Dating App of 2015.
This award was well-deserved, considering two years ago, Tinder wasn’t a household word like Match and eHarmony has been for years for online daters.
In an interview with The New York Times, I told reporter Molly Wood that the increase in smartphone usage directly relates to the increase in dating app usage.
“People are dating on the fly, they’re dating in real time, they’re hooking up or meeting for dates, they’re doing both. Same day, same hour.”
So how did a perceived hook-up app become the hottest trend for singles looking for love online?
1. They penetrated the college marketplace.
These early adopters paved the way for others to jump on the bandwagon. In time, the demographics started to rise and millions of users were playing the Tinder game.
2. They made it easy to create a profile.
With no long questions to answer and no profile approval process, all one has to is download the app, connect to Facebook where it pulls your age and photos on Facebook, and add a short bio if you desire, however many ignore filling out the profile.
3. Set your preferences for distance and age parameters
Since Tinder is location-based, once you log on, it searches for potential matches close by. If you travel out of town, you’ll receive a whole new set of matches to make sure you’re not lonely at night.
4. Let the swiping and matching begin
Quite simply, you swipe right if you’re attracted to someone and swipe left if you’re not. If both of you swipe right, then you’re notified that you’re a match and can start communicating in their private chat feature.
Online dating and mobile dating are a numbers game. The more often you swipe, the more often you’ll have the opportunity to be matched.
5. State Your Intentions
We are living in a world of swiping left and right and the habit has become the norm for other popular mobile dating apps. In order to be successful on Tinder, you must start swiping and become proactive about communicating with your matches. If you’re looking to find a relationship instead of a casual fling, you must fill out the information bio page and clearly state your dating intentions. Women find it refreshing when a man says, “Not looking for FWB or a hookup.”
At the iDate conference, it was pointed out by Mark Brooks from Courtland Brooks that only 8% of women were swiping right while viewing profiles of men. Men on the other hand were swiping right as often as possible, with the hopes that they can be matched.
Tinder reports over 1 billion swipes a day and matches over 12 million people a day. But are they actually meeting IRL?
An interesting trend that we are noticing is that a lot of men are posting their age on Tinder as 100 years old. The trend of not honestly stating your age in online dating has been around for years, but to become a centurion on Tinder means you’ll have to change your age on your Facebook profile. There’s no way to change your age on Tinder. Facebook makes it difficult to change your age and discourages this process by limiting the amount of times you can do so. Still, I encourage truth-in-advertising.
As I told The New York Times, people who are using Tinder are also using other dating sites, sometimes paying for memberships. Having easy access to lots of different dates actually increases your odds of eventually finding a match. It’s making dates happen a lot more quickly and the more dates you go on, the better daters you become. Let mobile dating apps become your new best friend.
Are you swiping right on multiple mobile dating apps?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating. Julie’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT. Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: Fotolia
Now with dating in a Tinder world, the trend has changed to the extreme opposite, where members of the hottest mobile dating app are now clamoring to indicate an age of triple digits at 100 years old, to hide the truth about their real age.
While this may seem absolutely ridiculous, my phone rings every week with people asking, actually begging for me to teach them how to change their age on Tinder to an absurd age of 100+ years old, give or take ten years.
If you’re wondering how to accomplish this, here are the steps you need to take, but remember, you’ll be deactivating your Tinder profile, so if there’s a special someone that you’re swooning over, make sure you get their phone number to call or text before they go off into Internet heaven.
How to Change Your Age on Tinder
- Log onto your Facebook account from a desktop or non-mobile version, where you will need to change your birth year. To do this, click on “about” and scroll down to your birth date and click edit.
- Go to your birth year and click on edit and change the year. PLEASE NOTE: Facebook limits the amount of times that you can change your age. As of now, you can only change it once and it will ask you to confirm this change.
- Log off of Facebook.
- Log onto Tinder through the mobile app.
- Click on the gear on the top left side of the mobile app.
- Click on app settings and scroll to the bottom and click “Delete Account.” PLEASE NOTE: Do not just delete the app from your phone, as it will not delete your account settings.
- Remember that deleting your account will permanently delete your matches, conversations, photos, etc. Tinder will ask you if you are sure you want to delete your account. Click on “Delete Account.”
- View all of your app icons on your mobile phone and tap on the Tinder app lightly. All of your mobile app icons will shake and click on the x in the upper left hand corner of the Tinder icon. This will then delete the app from your phone.
- Log back onto Facebook and double check that your new birth date was changed.
- Download the Tinder app again as brand new on your mobile phone.
- Sign up for Tinder using the Facebook login.
- Your new Tinder age should appear on your Tinder profile. NOTE: You can keep your birth date private on your Facebook profile.
- Please remember, at Cyber-Dating Expert, we discourage people from lying about their age on dating sites and on Facebook or other social networking sites.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for Dating Advice.
Since swiping right and left has become part of our digital vocabulary, those enjoying or obsessing over their Tinder account on their mobile phones might need a bit more help on how to optimize their Tinder profiles.
With over 1 billion matches and 100 marriages to date, isn’t it time you tried Tinder?
This infographic shows two active Tinder users who experimented to increase the number of matches on the hottest mobile app on the planet.
Here are some tips on how to have the best Tinder profile.
1. Swipe right on every profile to increase the chances of a match.
2. Log on daily.
3. Ditch the group shots and make it all about you.
4. Have a great bio!
If you need some hand holding on how to make Tinder work for you so you can find a quality person to date, contact us for details.
Have you met anyone on Tinder?
Read our blog for more mobile dating and Tinder dating advice.
I met my boyfriend on Tinder and we started dating three months ago.
We both agreed to take down our Tinder profiles. Actually it was his idea to do it first and I thought it was a great idea.
We’ve connected on a deep level and are even talking about living together, so I thought everything was great.
Last week, my girlfriend saw his profile on Tinder and it appears he went back on without telling me. He’s been secretive about things lately, complaining that he’s stressed out at work. I’m afraid I’m losing him. What should I do?
GF of Tinder Addict.
Dear GF of TA,
You’re not alone. Tinder is a fun game that singles play on their mobile phones. While it’s a great way to meet someone close by, it’s still a game. I know several couples who have left their Tinder profiles up and just enjoy chatting with others, without the intention of taking it any further.
Let’s start by saying your boyfriend did do something wrong. He rejoined Tinder without telling you. Most likely he knew there would be an eruption like a volcano if he suggested it. He would assume you’d think he was cheating on you, when he was just having fun swiping right and left on Tinder.
Do I know if your relationship is on the way out or not? Of course not. But you’re at a relationship milestone — the three month mark. The honeymoon phase of the newness in your relationship when everything is perfect is changing. The good news is, that you’re still together as a couple and are moving into the next phase. Three months is the time where couples decide do they want to go to the next step, which is beyond the casual stage.
My suggestion is to have a convo with your BF and ask him if he just likes looking at pretty faces. Believe it or not, he might just be viewing girls digitally the way that some guys stare at cute girls at a restaurant. If he says he’d like to see others, then believe him and reactive your profile as well and start dating. If he says he only has eyes for you, let him know how uncomfortable this is making you. Ask him if he can state his relationship status to “in a relationship” and that he’s looking for friends to chat with or take it down completely. If he’s willing to do this, then understand he looks at Tinder the same way as he would look at a video game.
I’m not saying it’s right and I’d be very unhappy if my boyfriend had an active dating or Tinder profile up while he was spending nights with me. If he refuses to state his relationship status, then you need to decide if you’d like to continue dating him and date others as well.
If he really doesn’t want to lose you, he won’t let his cell phone games get in the way of love. It’s time for some digital housekeeping.
Keep me posted.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Do you have a question for Julie Spira? Click here to submit your dating questions.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and helps singles find love online and IRL. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Tinder is now verifying celebrity profiles and Yahoo – Australia reports that Spears reports that at the debut of her lingerie collection in New York, said admits that finding love in cyberspace is possibly an option.
Later, Spears appeared on the ‘Tonight Show’ with Jimmy Fallon, where the late night talk host added her to the mobile app in a fun skit.
Before introducing Spears, Fallon described her as: “She’s recently single, she sings good jingles, she loves her Pringles and she’s ready to mingle.”
He added, “Here at ‘The Tonight Show,’ we’re all about making love connections, so before the show you did something cool. You let us sign you up for the dating app Tinder,” Fallon continued, stating the profile is indeed real.
“I want to stress, Britney had nothing to do with this. This was our idea. But she has the password now and it is her profile. She can do whatever she wants with it…. If you guys are on Tinder and want to date Britney Spears, just look for her profile and swipe right. That means good.” Spears responded with, “I’m thrilled!”
Celebrities with verified profiles are now swiping right and left on Tinder. Other celebs include Ed Sheeran, Katy Perry, Lilly Allen, Lindsay Lohan, Chelsea Handler, and Bravo’s Andy Cohen, who have created profiles on the hottest mobile dating app.
Watch the video of the ‘Tonight Show’ segment here.
Other celebrities have joined a variety of online dating sites in the pre-Tinder days, including: Sinead O’Connor, Martha Stewart, Matthew Perry, Adele,, Jenny McCarthy, Charlie Sheen, Ricki Lake, Chase Crawford, Carrie Ann Inaba, Cheryl Cole, and the late great Joan Rivers.
At the end of the digital day, logging on for love in cyberspace or from the convenience of your mobile phone when you find yourself single is the easiest way to get back into the dating game.
Photo credit: Yahoo: Australia – Celebs We Wish Were on Tinder
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet having created her first profiles 20 years ago. Today, she helps singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs and to help them find love from the various mobile dating apps. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for more dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
As online daters and those downloading the Tinder mobile dating app continue to watch Tinder explode, it’s no wonder that researchers, psychologists, and dating experts all have opinions on whether Tinder is helping singles or is just a game for people to play on their cell phones as they swipe left or right at the millions of profiles nearby.
On WCCO in Minneapolis, I spoke with radio show host John Hines about the pros and cons of Tinder, using mobile dating apps, and why I think Tinder can help women who are shy to connect with a potential date online and meet them offline.
Now let’s talk about the ‘Tinderella syndrome’ and if it really exists or not. Are women really suffering from spending too much time on Tinder? Is it affecting their ability to meet offline (IRL?)
The Daily Mail ran a story claiming that ‘Tinderella syndrome’ was ruining the love lives of women to the point that they wer unable to approach men in person offline. They went as far as saying that flirting techniques have been diminished due to the frequent use of the Tinder mobile dating app.
While psychologist Emma Kenny believes that online dating breeds impatience and insecurity since women are inundated with an abundance of potential dates that they become overwhelmed and stop investing the same effort into meeting dates offline.
Sure online dating is a numbers game and Tinder is responsible for over 10 million matches a day as well as 850 million swipes a day. Those are big numbers and it’s easy to fill your date card. Remember, not everyone on Tinder is looking for a love connection. Tinder’s founders believe that they are a social discovery app and that using the site an help make new friends with similar interests.
Some will use Tinder as a game and keep playing after a swipe or two. Others will take the time to read the profiles of potential matches before starting a private online chat that will hopefully lead to an offline meeting. Otherwise, you’ll just end up with a digital pen-pal, if that’s what you want.
Here are the reasons I don’t believe in the Tinderella Syndrome.
1. Mobile apps make it easier to connect with people close by. Those who are interested in meeting someone close by can easily log onto Tinder and view a profile instead of just swiping left or right to give a thumbs up on a profile. If the profile indicates they’re really looking to meet someone for a relationship, they can start chatting instantly if it’s a mutual match.
2. Almost 35% of married couples met online. A study from the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that about 1/3 of marriages were as a result of online.
3. Pew Research states that 59% of Americans think that online dating is a good way to meet people. With over half of Americans thinking online dating is the way to go, remember that most singles are using mobile dating apps, which speed up the process.
4. Mobile dating apps and online dating sites help those who are shy communicate with potential dates. It’s my opinion that using dating apps and dating sites only helps those who are too shy to approach someone in a bar to say hello. By chatting online, I think self-esteem can be improved and communicating skills with potential dates will also become easier. The key is to take your relationship from online to offline and meet IRL.
5. Online dating stigma is pretty much gone. It’s a matter of time that the stigma for Tinder or mobile dating apps for hookups will also diminish. Already we are seeing many relationships of couples who’ve found love on Tinder.
6. If your mutual match isn’t communicating with you or interested in meeting, just move on. Tinder reports they are seeing 10 million matches a day and 850 million swipes per day. With all of that activity, it’s pretty easy to figure out who’s playing the game and who will want to meet. If their profile is rather empty and they only say, “hey,” it’s probably not going to become a meaningful relationship.
In my conversation with John Hines from WCCO – CBS Radio, I told him that Tinder is known to have a membership base of mostly 18-34 year olds. Many aren’t looking for a serious relationship and are hooking up. But some are truly looking for a new digital outlet to find a date or love.
Yes Tinder is like a game and it asks you to keep playing instead of suggesting that you meet in person. There will always be those who love the digital ego boost of flirting online, with or without Tinder. However, there will always be those who truly are looking for a connection. Tinder makes it easy to connect. It’s up to you to decide if the relationship is ready to move offline.
As time goes on, more-and-more singles in their 40s and up will also be using Tinder, due to the ease of creating a profile and the flexibility of connecting on the fly with singles in their geographic area.
Do you believe in the ‘Tinderella Syndrome?’
College Humor came out with a cute parody about Tinderella – a Modern Fairytale worth sharing.
Photo credit: College Humor
Julie Spira is an online and mobile dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating and helps singles find love on the Internet with her Irresistible Profiles programs. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Who isn’t talking about Tinder these days?
Last night, I was helping several single ladies in their 20s decide on who to swipe right to and how to find someone who isn’t just looking to hook up.
Meanwhile, at Team Coco, Conan O’Brien and Dave Franco decide to try their luck at Tinder on television.
In a funny skit, they came up with fake screen names, but real photos to learn about the sizzling hot mobile dating trend of Tinder.
Are you swiping right on Tinder? Have you met someone offline and are in a Tinder relationship?
We’d like to hear your Tinder stories.