Filter and flirt: How to find love online
Online dating is much like panning for gold – often, there’s a lot to filter through before anything of value turns up. Key attributes of successful daters include having an open mind and a dedication to what can be a longer process than anticipated.
Passing the various milestones on the way to that special relationship can sometimes also require a little ingenuity and a lot of originality.
The ‘delete’ button can be quick and merciless, so it’s important to think carefully before sending your initial email.
Our friends at eHarmony Canada offer Cyber Dating Expert readers these 6 tips to finding love online in this week’s guest post.
1. Seek out the wheat.
Some in the online dating world complain that the only messages they receive are from undesirable people or those who are not within their search parameters. If this is the case, a simple remedy is to actively seeking out profiles which fit your criteria. Don’t be afraid to write the first message – passivity is a big no-no in the Internet dating world. The competition is fierce and there’s little reward for those who are meek.
2. Take time to read profiles.
Showing that you’ve actually read through someone’s profile is always a good start. Well-respected dating sites such as eHarmony report that messages which include phrases such as ‘good taste’ and ‘you mention’ tend to get high response rates. This is because of the simple fact that they make the recipient feel interesting.
Try and mirror the way a person writes – whether they’re wry, eccentric, earnest or intellectual. Don’t fake it though – if you struggle to think like someone else, they’re probably not a very suitable match.
3. When and when not to compliment.
Compliments aren’t always good. One of the biggest mistakes made in online dating is to compliment someone on their physical appearance. People want to feel like they’re more than just their looks. Instead, compliment them on something that they’ve written or done
4. Keep it short and sweet.
Messages that are overly long can be difficult to reply to. Instead, send no more than three or four sentences while you get to know someone. One of these should ask the recipient a question to encourage a response.
5. No obligation to write back.
It’s important to remember that there are no obligations to reply to every email in online dating. If an in-built sense of courtesy requires that you do write back, keep the message short and to the point. If you don’t want to receive further messages, say that and wish them the best of luck with their search. Trying to take the sting out of a rejection only confuses things.
6. Don’t take it personally
Even the most excellent communication can fall apart. If someone you thought you were building a relationship stops messaging you, don’t blame yourself. People drop out of online dating sites for any number of reasons. As is frequently said, online dating is a numbers game. You need to play to win.
Need a little help with your online dating profile? Online Dating Expert Julie Spira creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.