Online Dating Deal Breakers
Single men and women would love to know the exact magic formula for success with the opposite sex in finding love online.
Imagine meeting someone online and being excited when you see their profile and photo. Remember the feeling you got when their name showed up in your Inbox. Think about how excited you felt at the possibility of receiving that first phone call with the hope that it would turn into a first date. Who knows what could happen if the online chemistry, phone chemistry, and that magical connection all clicked like a well oiled machine. It could be “the one.”
Think about that precious time you have on the phone while each person is assessing whether you should actually meet in person. But what happens when you blow it on the telephone? Just a few sentences that slip out of your mouth could actually make the decision whether a woman or man will want to meet you or move on to the next ideal candidate.
While some methods work better for some than others, here are 3 key deal breakers that may prevent you from going from online to the first date and you may end up in the trash folder instead of in their arms. There are some questions or topics of conversation that just need to be delayed to a future date, if at all. I cover these in the Rules of Netiquette in my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.
I am sharing these top 3 with you now, because they really did happen in recent conversations I had with potential male suitors that quickly slipped up into Internet Heaven, a place I reserve on my desktop next to the trash icon.
Are you ready? To avoid from going to “hot” to “not” and never making it on to the first date, here are my true tested recommendations.
1. Do not talk about financial problems. We all know the state of the economy is on everyone’s minds right now. However, I actually spoke to a man who told me within the first twenty minutes, that he lost his house to the bank, had no life insurance and could not qualify for life insurance, but he thought he should brag about the fact that he drove a nice car. Financial successes and woes should not be discussed in a conversation with someone you haven’t yet met. I didn’t want to know about his credit score. It goes both ways. If a woman has lost her job and is having financial problems, don’t let the man know. He may think you are a gold-digger, and first impressions, even on the phone really matter.
2. Do not talk about the ex. I know it seems like common sense, but online phone interviews sometimes go in the direction of, “Have you ever been married? How long? How many times? When was your last relationship?” These really should be 0ff-limit subjects of conversation in your first phone call. Finding similar interests in a short conversation and moving towards a first date should be your goal. Relaying your personal resume is a turn off. Don’t talk about your ex-wife, ex-husband, ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, or even ex-housekeeper for that matter.
3. Keep it short. Don’t drag the phone conversation on for 45 minutes. Some people just want to keep talking on the first phone date. Keep a little mystery about yourself that you would like to share later on with your new online date. Keep the conversation on the short side and be ready to ask her for an actual date and put it on the calendar. Hopefully there will be plenty of dates to follow where you can get more personal.
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Julie Spira is a bestselling author, online dating expert and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice, like her @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert