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Psychology Today’s Thoroughly Modern Guide to Breakups

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As we enter the New Year, one may say, “Out with the old, in with the new.” But the beginning of a New Year often means it’s time to heal from a breakup, which does take time.

In the current issue of?Psychology Today, I shared my once-private breakup with by my ?fiance in an email. It was truly painful. Helping others by writing The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online was necessary. I have often said that if Facebook were around in 1993, it’s quite likely that Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw would have been dumped in a relationship status update instead of a post-it, which has now become passe.

I’m devoting the first week of the year to the subject of breaking up with our featured book in our reading room, The Frisky 30-Day Breakup Guide, and by sharing my personal story to help singles while looking for love online. A breakup isn’t the end of the world. It can mean the beginning of a much better relationship.

For the complete story, visit Psychology Today.

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2 Responses to “Psychology Today’s Thoroughly Modern Guide to Breakups”

  1. Julia on January 30th, 2011 5:19 am

    OK, so you’ve given a bunch of examples of how NOT to breakup responsibly. But, as the title suggests one would find but does not, where is the advice on how to do it less hurtfully???

  2. Julie Spira on January 30th, 2011 3:56 pm

    Hi Julia,

    Thanks for your comment. This post reflects the article in the current issue of Psychology Today which is out on the newsstands today. If you’ve read The Top 10 Rules of Netiquette for Online Daters, http://cyberdatingexpert.com/dating-advice-top-10-rules-of-netiquette-for-online-dating you will find the breakup rule, which simply states that a breakup should be done in person and not via email, text, or the phone. If the geography prohibits you from talking about your relationship in person, then the telephone is the second alternative. At the end of the day, if your needs aren’t being met, don’t just disappear. Have a conversation with your partner. Perhaps he’s going through work issues and his distancing behavior has nothing to do with your relationship. Either way, you need to know.

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