In the News

Should I Respond to Someone Without a Photo?

2 Comments
Share the Love
radioshowlogo5 150x150

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

Dear Julie,

I met this guy online before the holidays and he seemed interested in me.

The conversation pleasant enough, but I’m a little creeped out about his recent message.

In this most recent one, he asked me, Have you been single long? What kind of men are you typically interested in?” He also never put up a photo of himself.

I’ve been single for longer than I really want to mention and I don’t really have a type, but I don’t want anyone super unattractive or unhealthy.

What do you think I should do?

~C

Dear C,

It’s great that you’re communicating with someone online.

When a guy posts a profile without a photo, he doesn’t really have all ten toes in.

While you’re concerned about how to respond to him, you actually don’t need to respond to him at all.

The questions he’s asked of you are generic questions. Sometimes guys just don’t know what to ask and are trying their best to open a digital dialog.

You don’t have to say how long you’ve been single to someone you’ve never met. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 3 months or 3 years. He’s single, you’re single and you’re both on a dating site.

If you feel uncomfortable, just don’t reply. If you’re still interested in getting to know him, ask him if he can post his photos so you can see who you are chatting with.

If he isn’t willing to do so, he just isn’t date ready. There are plenty of guys who are genuine and will post recent photos. Take your time and put your energies into a relationship that has the potential of turning into a pleasant date.

Keep us posted.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

~Julie

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She creates irresistible dating profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie’s dating advice has appeared on eHarmony, JDate, Match.com, Zoosk, and on her columns on DatingAdvice.com, Examiner, and Huffington Post. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt, and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

button print gry20

Comments

2 Responses to “Should I Respond to Someone Without a Photo?”

  1. datingeditor on January 22nd, 2013 1:51 pm

    This is great advice, Julie!

    Online daters often feel pressured by personal messages to respond but what you offer here is a chance to step back. It’s always a choice to respond or not, hopefully your reader, C, is willing to look at both sides of the situation before she reacts!

  2. Julie Spira on January 22nd, 2013 2:28 pm

    Thanks for chiming in Cynthia.

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!