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Online Daters Write to Many; Only Date One at a Time

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Our friends at JDate and ChristianMingle just released their second annual State of Dating in America report, where they surveyed over 2,600 U.S. singles between the ages of 18 and 59 to find out how they felt about dating in the digital age.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s not a surprise that the stigma of online dating is continuing to dissipate. The report showed that 85% now believe Internet dating is socially acceptable. The survey looked at the behaviors of the online dating cycle from first contact to moving in together and even marriage.

Let’s start with getting to the first online date. Are all online daters serial daters? While many have said that online dating comes complete with a ‘shopping cart’ mentality, and the large bouquet of singles on dating sites, one would think Internet daters’ date cards would be filled with a different date every day of the week.

According to the survey, while singles are writing to several people at once, in reality, they prefer to date one person at a time. Does this mean online daters are really serial monogamists instead of serial daters?

The question asked in the survey said:

Do you generally contact one person, communicate with them and go on a date OR are you communicating with multiple people during the same time frame?

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More than half of the respondents admit they go out with one dater at time, with 63% of women and 53% of men saying they communicate with multiple people, but only go out with one person at a time.

By comparison, only 38% of men and 24% of women contact one person at a time, and the lowest response came from 9% of men and 14% of women who date multiple people at the same time.

Frankly, I’m surprised at these numbers, as it takes time to get to know someone. Going on a few dates with a few people simultaneously should help the process and help you become a better dater, right? Should one put all of their eggs into one digital basket?

Other findings included the Top 3 deal-breakers, with hygiene being at the top of the list for both men (35%) and women (35%). Hint: Take that extra shower and keep a toothbrush and breath mints in your car.

The good news is that the stigma about online dating is continuing to diminish. Two out of three singles in the survey knew people who met as a result of online dating, and an overwhelming 94% of singles believe that online dating expands their dating pool with 86% saying it speeds up their search as compared to being set up by friends.

Think about it. Online dating is available 24 hours a day, so the convenience factor is there. Still, finding love online can be like finding a needle in a digital haystack. You need to become the “1 in 40 million.” At the end of the digital day, it?s a numbers game worth playing.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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