In the News

Winks, emails, and IMs — oh my! Online Dating Etiquette

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Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

Yes ladies. Men do take online dating seriously.

After creating an irresistible profile for a newly widowed male client on Match.com,? he decided it was time to put all ten toes and suddenly realized he needed a lesson in online dating etiquette.

He?s a terrific catch, signed up for the Totally in Love plan, and actually wants to meet an age-appropriate woman and wonders, what is the proper online dating etiquette? Within 24 hours he was bombarded with emails, winks, and IMs. He already has a date on the calendar with a highly educated woman who lives close to him. He?s on the right digital path.

I told him to get ready for the ride and showed him how to get organized.? I knew he?d get a lot of initial emails and views to his profile. He wasn?t prepared for the overwhelming response from women interested in meeting him. Rather than feeling overwhelmed, he decided to embrace the process. He wanted to know how to put his best foot forward to be successful. His questions were ones that many singles are confused about when they first join an Internet dating site. All are worth sharing.

1. I haven’t responded yet to the 3 or 4 women who’ve “winked” at me.? What’s the proper etiquette?

When a woman winks at a man, she?s signally to him that she?s open to communicating. Generally, it?s her way of saying, ?check out my profile and if you?re interested, please email me.? What she won?t probably want is to be winked back in return, so if you like what you see, read her profile and find something unique and interesting to write about and put that in the subject line. This way you?ll have a greater chance of receiving an email in return from her.

2. Same thing with the women who’ve e-mailed me.? What’s considered good, what’s simply appropriate, and what’s rude?

If you?re interested in someone who has emailed you, read her profile and write back in a timely manner. Remember, you?re not the only guy she?s communicating with and a prompt response will not only be appreciated, but will put your name on her date card.? If you?re not interested, you can either ignore the email, or thank her for writing to you. If her profile isn?t inline with what you?re looking for, you can politely point that out and wish her the best. The only way you?d be rude is if you insulted her, which I?m sure you wouldn?t want to do.

3. A couple of women have IM’d me while I was online.? Personally I find that really intrusive, even obnoxious.? For that reason, I’m highly reluctant to IM anyone else.? But I don’t know how the game is played.? Again, what’s the proper thing to do?? Can I just turn off my IM capability?

Instant messaging isn?t for everyone. While it can be fun, flirty, and instantaneous, some might find it annoying. To remove the IM feature, log onto your account, click on Account in the upper right hand side of the profile and in the dropdown menu click on settings, and then click on Instant messenger. This is where you can both turn off your instant messaging and IM alerts.

4. What’s a polite but clear way to express disinterest (for example, if I decide I’ve got no interest in meeting someone who contacts me first)?
There?s no perfect answer to this question. While you might want to appear like the nice guy and let them know that you don?t think you?re a match, they might be offended and insulted. If you ignore them, then they?ll wonder why they?re being rejected. You can take your time before you quickly push the reply button to the email and do what you feel is right for you, but remain polite. After all, she might have a friend to introduce you to if you?re a genuine guy, so don?t close the door completely.

Do you have questions about online dating? Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice,? like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and subscribe to our Weekly Flirt.

Irresistible Anniversary Celebration

CDEannivlogo 235x300We’re celebrating at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters the entire month of October, as it’s another anniversary for our online dating advice site,?CyberDatingExpert.com.

To celebrate another year of helping singles find love online, we want to share our success with you during our Irresistible Anniversary Celebration with discounts, giveaways, contests and more.

SPECIAL PROMOTIONS!

Now through October 31, 2010, we’ll be giving away a signed copy of the bestseller,?The Perils of Cyber-Dating every day. Also our friends at Speed Date, who will be featured on Saturday, October 16th on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show will be giving one of our fans a 6-month premium membership to their site. Also, Cupidtino is offering three 6-month premium memberships in honor of their radio show appearance on October 23rd. To enter, just?“Like” us on Facebook.*

Also, now through the end of the month, ?you can enjoy a HUGE 25% discount off of all of our coaching programs. Sure, we’ve had specials before, but never at 25% off. That’s a savings of almost $200!

Why are we offering such a discount and handing out signed copies of my bestselling book?

  • It’s been another exciting year for us.
  • October is one of the most important months for singles.
  • The holidays are around the corner and singles are joining online dating sites in record numbers.
  • CyberDatingExpert.com consistently ranks as one of the Top online dating advice sites in the world!

We know there’s a lot of pressure for singles for finding love before the holidays and we want to help you achieve your dating and relationship goals.

We have a lot of exciting announcements all month long that I can’t wait to share with you.

IRRESISTIBLE OCTOBER!

Wiredcover 150x150Did you know that we’re featured in the October issue of Wired-UK in the article, Finding Online Dating Success?

If that isn’t exciting enough, during the first week of October, I was a featured guest on the Love Panel for Rapid Dating’s Fall Matchmaking party?and my featured article went live on day 3 of ?Your Tango’s 31 Days to a Better Sex Life Challenge.

I also had the privilege and honor of speaking at the 140 Characters Conference about Dating, Love and Romance in the Real-Time Web, and received the very prestigious WOW Award at the Beverly Hills Hotel. WOW is right. But we couldn’t have done any of this without the constant support from the online dating community.

IN THE NEWS!

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In the past year, we’ve been featured in the news on:

ABC, CBS, CNET, FOX, Smart Money, KTLA, WPIX, KLOS, BBC, WLW, ?Momento Magazine, WIRED, Men’s Health, Woman’s Day, iVillage, PC World, Betty Confidential, Your Tango, Genconnect TV, Match, eHarmony, JDate, Zoosk, Date Daily, Examiner, Huffington Post, ?Jewish Journal,?Mercury News, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Business Journal, Sympatico, We Magazine, Florida Times Union, Denver Post, Ventura County Reporter, The Buffalo News, Philadelphia Inquirer, Chicago Now, E! Entertainment, John Tesh, Single Edition, and the list goes on. Valentine’s Day news coverage for online dating almost always included Cyber-Dating Expert.

ON THE RADIO!

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Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, the only weekly radio show focusing on Internet dating,? featured the who’s who in online dating this past year including:

Online dating sites: OkCupid, Match, JDate, eHarmony, Chemistry, Zoosk, Matchmaker, Date, Online Booty Call, Plenty of Fish, ChristanCafe, True, SKOUT Mobile Dating, Perfect Match, Scientific Match, and Gelato.

Dating Advice Sites: Cosmopolitan, Your Tango, and The Frisky, and Don’t Date Him Girl.

Authors and dating experts: David Wygant, Lori Gottlieb, Marie Forleo, Dr. Diana Kirschner, Dr. Pat Allen, Alan Roger Currie, Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Tina Tessina, Dr. Helen Fisher, Julie Ferman, Deb and Liv from?Flirtexting, and Lucia.

IN REAL LIFE!

140photo 150x150I personally met many of you at the Internet Dating Conference, New York Public Library, Hurry Date, 140 Characters Conference, An Empowered Woman, Social Media Week, Romance and Reality, ?Book Soup, Social Media Club of Los Angeles, Book Expo America, Rapid Dating, West Hollywood Book Fair, Independent Writers of Southern California, and LA Singles Society where I spoke about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World and the impact of social media on our lives.

mobileapp2 150x150WE’VE GONE MOBILE!

Also this year, we launched our popular Dating Expert iPhone and Android App that thousands of singles are downloading every month. Through the end of October, our Dating Expert mobile app will remain free. But hurry and downlod it now, as there will be a fee starting November 1, 2010.

STILL A BESTSELLER!

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The Perils of Cyber-Dating

The Perils of Cyber-Dating book remains an Amaz?n bestseller in Computers & Internet Humor and has been a bestseller since it’s launch date, including bestseller status in dating, mate seeking, interpersonal relations, parenting & family humor, and love & romance. We’re giving away a book every day now through the end of the month to lucky winers who like our facebook page and will soon be releasing our new book, ?The Secrets to Finding Love Online.

We’re thrilled to be the GO-TO source for online daters and appreciate each and every one of you in the Cyber-Dating Expert family.

So what are we offering Cyber Dating Expert readers and fans? Absolutely ALL of our popular dating coaching programs created to help you find success while looking for love online are discounted this month only by 25%! ?We want you to be the next featured couple in the Cyber Love Story of the Week and celebrate with us all month long. These savings are so good, you might just be tempted to use your savings for a new favorite first date outfit.

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Our delicious menu of services includes:

The Flirt - Already online? Get an online dating profile critique that will help you become a man magnet and attract more quality dates.? Sign up here>>>

Going Steady – Complete brand new online dating profile, including a personal dating analysis, catchy screen name, a new bio/headline, and a profile guaranteed ramp up your dating life. ?Includes a private and personalized online dating search and tips on how to write an introduction email and reply. Sign up here>>>

Totally In Love - The most comprehensive package for busy singles. Includes all of the above, plus ongoing email support for 30-days, plus an autographed copy of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. This has become our most popular service. After all, everyone needs a little extra hand holding. Nervous about your upcoming date? Not sure what to wear? Need a list of first-date conversation starters?? Sign up here>>>

I encourage you to sign up for which ever level fits your dating needs. Know that if you are interested in upgrading at the time of your initial service, you’ll have the freedom to do so. Get ready to fall in love this fall from your friends at CyberDatingExpert.com.

*To be eligible for our Irresistible Anniversary giveaways, you must be 18 or older to participate. Book winners outside the continental U.S. will receive an electronic version of The Perils of Cyber-Dating.

Julie Spira is a worldwide authority in online dating. She created her first online dating profile in 1994 and helps singles find love online by creating their irresistible online dating profiles. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and?where you can share your online dating stories.

IRRESISTIBLE Coaching

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Welcome to IRRESISTIBLE Coaching by Julie Spira, where we help you fall in love in a Web 2.0 World.

Why select IRRESISTIBLE Coaching?

  • Your friends are no longer setting you up
  • You spend Saturday nights home alone
  • You need a date for a special event
  • You want to get married
  • You keep attracting unavailable men
  • You want to meet MORE quality dates
  • You see and hear about success stories from other online daters and wonder why it hasn’t happened to you
  • You’ve tried online dating, but it hasn’t worked for you yet.
  • You’ve been on too many FIRST DATES
  • You want to expand your social network

With IRRESISTIBLE Coaching, you’ll get the following:

  • An online dating profile so IRRESISTIBLE, you’ll end up with an overflowing Inbox
  • Work with a dating coach and expert who has over 15 years of experience on multiple sites
  • Increased self-esteem to attract MORE QUALITY available singles into your world
  • Become a MAN MAGNET and find your dream date
  • Learn how to EXACTLY find the man or woman of your dreams
  • Master the art of FLIRTING to keep a man captivated
  • Know what to wear, say, and do on a first date
  • Customized dating analysis, just for you
  • Know EXACTLY how to create an initial email to get more quality responses
  • Autographed copy of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating *Totally in Love Package only
  • 30-days unlimited email support *Totally in Love Package Only
  • One online dating custom search *Totally in Love Package Only

Choose from:

    • The Flirt
    • Going Steady
    • Totally in Love
    • The Digital Matchmaker – 10 PRIVATE Online Dating BootCamp Sessions

SIGN UP NOW and become IRRESISTIBLE to men.
Here’s what they are saying about IRRESISTIBLE Coaching with Julie Spira

  • “Julie’s dating advice has changed my life, led to dozens and dozens of dates, and now a wonderful husband!” ~Robin-48
  • “My Cosmo Radio girls are always asking how to date online. Julie knows her stuff like no one else. She is truly the pioneer of online dating.” ~Diana Falzone, Host-Cosmolicious, CosmoRadio
  • “I worked with Julie Spira to rewrite my online dating profile. With her help and coaching, I was able to find more quality women to write to online.” ~Dean-35
  • “I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t attracting quality men online. Julie Spira looked at my profile and with her suggested changes, the type of guys that have reached out to me have greatly improved.”~Brady-25
  • “Julie helped me create a new Internet dating profile that described me in a better way to attract more quality men. It didn’t take long before I started to receive more emails from men that I was interested in.” ~Janice -56

Irresistible Profiles are available for both men and women. Isn’t it time your profile became Irresistible?

Coaching sessions are non-refundable and require 48-hours notice to reschedule to another date.