In the News

Social Dating: Is Facebook Really a Dating Site?

socialdatingfacebook 150x150Let’s face it. You?re hanging your digital hat on Facebook and Twitter a bit more often than logging into your online dating account, and with good reason. You like to see what your friends are up to and cheer them on with an occasional like or two. Staring at Selfies photos can be fun, and watching someone change their relationship status is a golden moment.

Most online dating sites are now entrenched with social media allowing you to upload your photos directly from Facebook and even using the like button for people to vote on their favorite photos of you. This is quite helpful as you can and should change your photos around a bit. If you notice that some are getting more attention, then they’re keepers.

Internet dating has evolved from the early days of chat rooms and dial up Internet to high-speed wireless Internet and now to a social dating experience. From getting dating advice on Twitter from @Match or @eHarmony to checking out your potential date?s Facebook page, while still chatting on the phone with him or her, digital dating has ramped it up a big notch.

When Facebook launched their Social Graph search in January, I spoke with USA Today. The article, Facebook Unleashed Cupid Potential came out while many of the Internet dating executives were at the Internet Dating Conference.

I was quoted as saying:

Dating norms, however, have already taken root on Facebook. People have long-perused the photos and postings of members in the game of attraction, says Julie Spira, a digital-dating maven who runs CyberDatingExpert.com.

“It’s the world’s largest social network, and they could be the world’s largest dating network if they want to go there,” Spira said.

No longer could online dating sites and singles ignore the big digital gorilla in the room. A few weeks later, we debuted Facebook Love Stories, featuring real world couples who met or reconnected on Facebook and fell madly in love.

Cyber-Dating Expert friend Cliff Lerner, the CEO of Are You Interested wrote an interesting piece in Huffington Post entitled, Why Facebook Graph Search Will Make Online Dating Cool.

I have to agree with Lerner. There are some that still think there?s a stigma with online dating, but have no problem contacting other singles on Facebook chat. This my friends is social dating at it?s best.

At the end of the digital day, you need to cast a very wide net. If you?re uncomfortable saying that you?re an online dater, tell people that you?re a social dater. Do whatever it takes to find love, online, offline, and on Facebook.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, on Facebook, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and FacebookLoveStories.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and coaches them on finding love online and on Facebook. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like her at at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

 

 

 

 

Julie Spira on WGN – Online Dating Advice and Tips

wgn voc logo 2 300x105Did you miss the radio broadcast with Online Dating Expert Julie Spira and WGN radio’s Bill Leff.

In an hour-long segment, we covered the dos and don’ts for cyberdating, the pros and cons of doing a Google search on your date, and how to spot fake online dating profiles.

Learn more about dating in a web 2.0 world.

Listen here:

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Would You Propose Marriage Online?

weddingproposal 300x187Get out your digital fingers as this week the pressure may be on to propose marriage to your sweetheart as today is not just the first day of Spring, but it’s also? National Proposal Day.

Held twice a year in both the Spring and the Fall, Proposal Day falls on the Vernal Equinox, where daytime and nighttime are of equal lengths.

While I still long to see traditional marriage proposals, complete with the gentleman asking for permission from the father of the future bride, to getting down on one knee and asking, “Will you marry me?,” the trend to announce relationship status changes and become “Facebook Official” is happening more-and-more online, than offline. We’re dating in a Web 2.0 World, so does a digital courtship include proposing in cyberspace?

Are Facebook pages replacing the New York Times wedding section as the place to submit engagement announcements?

With one out of five relationships starting online, it’s a natural progression to see a digital marriage proposal and to even see live tweeting during a wedding ceremony and reception. But still you need to ask yourself and your significant other, would you want your marriage proposal to be handled on the public Internet, at a ball game, on TV, or do you prefer that this be an intimate experience for just the two of you?

Talking about how you use social media as a couple is imperative to the success of your relationship. Both of you need to be on the same digital page, or it can backfire and cause friction in your relationship.

Just this week, the big news was the announcement by Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn that they’re officially a couple. How did we find out? Together they shared their new status on their individual Facebook pages. While responses to their announcement filled the Twitterverse, one might ask, will they soon be ready for a digital marriage proposal?

How are People Proposing Marriage?
Meanwhile, everyday people are proposing in a variety of ways online including Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, in an Infographic, and even on television.

In a heartwarming and surprising marriage proposal, Huntsville Alabama TV anchor Jillian Pavlica of Fox 54 was shocked when the live breaking news story she was reading turned out to be her very own marriage proposal from her boyfriend, Vince Ramos. After reading the news in front of her television viewing audience, Ramos appeared on the set. Fortunately, she said yes, but it also included a social media element of the video going viral along with sharing the news on her Twitter page.

Mashable reported on 5 couples who met on Social Media, from Flickr, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter.

The New Yorker reported on recent trends of marriage proposals on YouTube and one couple even proposed marriage on Groupon.

We’re living in a world that is surrounded by online activity. Couples jumping on the digital bandwagon today profess their love look at it in the same romantic way as someone who might have received a marriage proposal on the Jumbotron at a baseball or basketball game years ago.

These days, couples want to create a digital history of their relationship to add to their digital memory book. From memorializing the first date, first kiss, and even the marriage proposal Facebook timelines are filled with these romantic moments.

Still, with a digital marriage proposal, you might run the risk of embarrassment if you don’t say “Yes” to “I do.”

Wishing you a Happy National Proposal Day and much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Would you, or wouldn’t you propose marriage on Facebook, Twitter, Groupon, or in an Infographic? Would you say yes? Feel free to chime in with your thoughts.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and RulesofNetiquette.com.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Photo credit: ? Denys Rudyi – Fotolia.com

Filter and flirt: How to find love online

EHC 150x150Online dating is much like panning for gold ? often, there?s a lot to filter through before anything of value turns up. Key attributes of successful daters include having an open mind and a dedication to what can be a longer process than anticipated.

Passing the various milestones on the way to that special relationship can sometimes also require a little ingenuity and a lot of originality.

The ?delete? button can be quick and merciless, so it’s important to think carefully before sending your initial email.

Our friends at eHarmony Canada offer Cyber Dating Expert readers these 6 tips to finding love online in this week’s guest post.

1. Seek out the wheat.

Some in the online dating world complain that the only messages they receive are from undesirable people or those who are not within their search parameters. If this is the case, a simple remedy is to actively seeking out profiles which fit your criteria. Don?t be afraid to write the first message ? passivity is a big no-no in the Internet dating world. The competition is fierce and there?s little reward for those who are meek.

2. Take time to read profiles.

Showing that you?ve actually read through someone?s profile is always a good start. Well-respected dating sites such as eHarmony report that messages which include phrases such as ?good taste? and ?you mention? tend to get high response rates. This is because of the simple fact that they make the recipient feel interesting.

Try and mirror the way a person writes ? whether they?re wry, eccentric, earnest or intellectual. Don?t fake it though ? if you struggle to think like someone else, they?re probably not a very suitable match.

3. When and when not to compliment.

Compliments aren?t always good. One of the biggest mistakes made in online dating is to compliment someone on their physical appearance. People want to feel like they?re more than just their looks. Instead, compliment them on something that they?ve written or done

4. Keep it short and sweet.

Messages that are overly long can be difficult to reply to. Instead, send no more than three or four sentences while you get to know someone. One of these should ask the recipient a question to encourage a response.

5. No obligation to write back.

It?s important to remember that there are no obligations to reply to every email in online dating.? If an in-built sense of courtesy requires that you do write back, keep the message short and to the point. If you don?t want to receive further messages, say that and wish them the best of luck with their search. Trying to take the sting out of a rejection only confuses things.

6. Don?t take it personally

Even the most excellent communication can fall apart. If someone you thought you were building a relationship stops messaging you, don?t blame yourself. People drop out of online dating sites for any number of reasons. As is frequently said, online dating is a numbers game. You need to play to win.

Need a little help with your online dating profile? Online Dating Expert Julie Spira creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Cyber Love Links

cyberlovelinks2 300x67

It’s time to take a moment and share some of our favorite articles about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World that we shared on Twitter and thank those for including Cyber-Dating Expert’s advice in their stories.

A huge thank you to our friends at Mashable who posted two stories, How Social Media Helps Romantic Relationships Thrive and 10 Dating Apps To Help You Find True Love. Both were tweeted over 1300 times each. Thank you from the bottom of my digital heart for including our Mobile Dating BootCamp in the story.

On Twitter, Kathleen Miles from Huffington Post alerted me to the new risque billboard on Sunset Boulevard for dating site Cougar Life, so I shared it on the LA Dating Advice column on Examiner in, Is Sunset Boulevard the New Home for Cougars? I’ll let you decide.

Thank you to Online Personals Watch for sharing and contributing to Dating in a Mobile World. Mobile Dating BootCamp contestant videos should be posted shortly and we’ll start casting for Season 2, to be held in Las Vegas. Best Background Checks posted Experts Reveal 7 Tips for Safer Online Dating,

If you missed the Magnetizing Love Telesummit, you can catch our 25 Twitter Secrets to Finding Love Online and catch up in a few minutes. Our friends at GalTime posted a great article, Getting Rid of Past Loves, which we had to share on Twitter. Sometimes it takes awhile to knock your ex of his or her pedestal. This article should help. We tweeted The Phoenix New Times article, The Seven Strangest Online Dating Sites and was surprised to see sites for dating with food allergies and dating a redhead.

You can share your dating stories in our Peril of the Week and remember our friends at Bad Online Dates and ABC’s 20/20 are looking for your videos on dating disasters, so keep your iPhone handy and start shooting away.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert Team.

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Cyber Love Links – Links to Love, When You’re in the Mood for Love

cyberlovelinks2 150x93We’re still in the merry month of May, which has been proclaimed Romance Month. So if you have a digital crush on someone or would like to reconnect with a former college flame, reach out and feel the love.

It’s that time of the week where we take a moment to share the articles on the web and Twitter as well as thank those who have featured Cyber-Dating Expert in their many articles.

First with the gratitude: Thank you to GenConnect and our friend Laurel House, Quickie Chick for the great video interview, How to Create You Love Life Resume. Sure we know you don’t want to look at online dating like a chore or a job, but here are some tips to ramp up your search. Also, a huge thank you to YourTango who collected a group of experts for a 7-Day Love Your Body series. We wish women wouldn’t feel so insecure about their appearance. Men do love the real you, so enjoy our advice in 16 Things You Hate About Your Body That Men Love. The Friends of Ricki community shared our FOX News video on their Facebook page for their relationship Tuesday topic, so stop by and say hello! Our article, To Text or Not to Text: Crazy Dating Texts That Went Viral was shared by everyone who prays they never become that girl or guy.

On Twitter, some of our favorite stories included Huffington Post Weddings: How to Stop Money Problems in Your Marriage Before They Start. Do men think you’ll go to bed with them on the first date if you wear red? I say no. YourTango Experts say yes. Let us know what you think. Our friend Jeannie Assimos at eHarmony Advice posted a great article, Online Dating Wisdom from Hall and Oates. On The Rules of Netiquette, we shared Texting While Walking Will Cost You a Ticket. Better sit on a park bench to let your date know you’re running late. Match just announced their events for singles as well as Beyond the Wink: Games to play online. Let us know what you think.

We’re getting ready to launch the Mobile Dating Bootcamp and next week you’ll meet our contestants!

Our favorite quote of the week came from Sir Paul McCartney: “And, in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert Team.


For more dating advice, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and join our Weekly Flirt.

To Text, or Not to Text ? Crazy Dating Texts That Went Viral

guytextmessaging 201x300Dating and humor. It can be a winning combination for those looking for love online, and lethal for those who suffer from a texting anxiety complex.

First we saw the single girl with the cat video which spread across the Internet. We laughed, we shared it, and we really didn?t want to be that girl.

Then we found out about Ashton Kutcher?s online dating video, which was a spoof.

Most of us remember spreadsheet guy, who was totally embarrassed that his date and her friends leaked his private excel spreadsheet with comments about each date to the media.

But the saddest of them all are those who suffer from the crazy texting syndrome. Both men and women are not immune from this new epidemic.

A few stories have been spreading online with screen shots of text messages that will make you cringe. Yes, both men and women get obsessed with sending breakup texts or ones begging their dates to see them again.

Those desperate to love and be loved sometimes can?t always control their digital fingers. They call, they text, they email, they beg, become control freaks, breakup, and in the end they make complete fools of themselves for the rest of the world to see. Even if he or she might be interested in a second date or reconciliation, this behavior chases them away in a New York minute.

Gawker?reported on the Fedora Lawyer guy in New York who went to the movies to see The Avengers with a movie date who needed to keep the upper digital hand. His date wasn?t that into him, but she behaved properly on the date, didn?t insult him and let him know she had a nice time, but he wasn?t for her. This is more typical than not, as most singles don?t get to a second date.

Fedoratexts

The Fedora was described as passive-aggressive. He decided to rate his date a 5.5 out of 10 and put her down saying it was her loss.

A few months ago, BuzzFeed shared the story of the girl who slept with the guy on a first date. She subsequently sent over 50 messages in 3 days, both begging him to see her and getting angry with him. All they had was one date. Now she has a permanent digital footprint on the Internet of a drama she probably wished she hadn’t been a participant on.

JJtexts

The point is that we all want to feel love and be loved so badly, that sometimes we act in desperate ways to connect which results in sabotaging any potential with your new crush. Sure we can make fun of these stories. When I wrote?The Perils of Cyber-Dating, I wanted to share some humor about my own personal stories that I believed others could relate to. But there comes a time where you need to take the high road, hold your head up and have some dignity and just walk away when it’s over.

Dating is a numbers game. Instant chemistry is rare. When you find it, don’t take it for granted. Don?t play texting games or try to manipulate someone to like you or see you again if the feelings aren’t mutual. Let the relationship move at a healthy course and keep the communications open. If someone politely says they?re busy and can?t get together again, don?t let it become an interrogation or deposition. You don?t want to go down in history as being that crazy guy or girl that no one will want to go out with again.

At the end of the digital day, think before you text. Anything you send digitally can and will be shared. There?s always someone else who will find you to be an incredible addition to his or her life. Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for.

Don?t Become a Digital Dating Fool while Dating in a Web 2.0 World.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and cyber-relations expert. She’s the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. Connect with Julie on Facebook and Twitter. Join in the conversation on the pages for The Rules of Netiquette and Cyber-Dating Expert and share your online dating stories.

How to Know if You’re in Flirtationship Mode

59968 158335844195903 100000584642021 404474 1259620 n 1It can happen at any age, but when my friends at HerCampus reached out to me to talk about the flirtation phenomena that was happening on the college campuses everywhere, I wasn’t surprised. Dating and relating in a web 2.0 world is quite simply complicated these days.

We flirt in text messages, on twitter, in emails, and in-real-life.

If you regularly find yourself flirting with a guy friend but for one reason or another, you don’t become an official couple, guess what? Your relationship status can be defined as “In a Flirationship.”

So what is a flirtationship and how do you know if your relationship status is in that in-between phase that won’t move to the next level? A flirtationship is that fun and flirty in-between place of being just friends and without claiming that you?re in a relationship. More often than not, it doesn’t become a romantic relationship. It?s a friendship filled with flirting and sometimes benefits.

When your friends ask you if you and that guy who keeps escorting you to parties are dating, it’s time to take a romantic pause and ask yourself, “How do I feel about my guy pal? Can we become more than just-friends?” If you go to sleep at night with thoughts of him on your mind, it’s time to realize that you’re more than just friends.

For a list of rules on how to behave in a Flirtation relationship, read the full article on Her Campus.

Are you in a Flirtationship? We’d love to hear your story.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert


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