The first week of January is known for being one of the busiest days for new online dating sites, with over 50% of new members joining the day after New Year’s, I thought it would be appropriate to think about a realistic resolutions list when it comes to matters of the heart.
From joining the gym to the latest diet craze, we come up with lists that are so unrealistic that even Wonder Woman couldn’t achieve half of the items on the checklist.
Match.com reports that during the first week of 2014, they’ll expect to have over 2 million singles logging on over 30 million times! This Sunday, January 5th at 8:57pm/ET, Match expects it to be the busiest time of the year for online dating. Are you ready to take the digital plunge?
With that in mind, when it comes to matters of the heart, singles need to become reflective and take a good look at their dating patterns. Did you date the same type of people over-and-over again? Did your relationships sizzle at the three-six month mark? Was it rate to make it to a second date or past a third date? Is your list of the traits of your perfect mate too big or too small?
Here are my suggestions and a list of questions for you to answer to start fresh in the New Year.
- Take a moment to jot down a list of those you dated in 2013.
- Write down a list of the personality types to see where your patterns are.
- Did they ever seem too good to be true?
- Did you jump in too fast or were you overcautious and took it too slow?
- Were you hung up on physical qualities?
- Were these people you could be friends with first?
- Would you be proud to introduce your dates to your friends and family?
- Are you backgrounds, religion, and values similar?
- How did your dates treat the servers at restaurants?
- What was the relationship your dates had with his or her parents and family?
Answering these questions will help guide you better to determine who you should be adding to your date card.
With online dating in peak season from Christmas through Valentine’s Day, finding a date isn’t a difficult task.
Remember your time is precious and more isn’t always better. It’s not the race to the finish line that matters. Every relationship serves a purpose and helps you get closer to knowing truly what you want. While falling in “like” or “lust” at first sight is common, it takes multiples seasons to determine if you’re truly in love with someone; a person who will be with you when there’s the inevitable bump on the road.
If you meet someone that you truly connect with, I encourage you to open your heart, be open to the possibilities, give someone a second chance in case they were nervous on a first date. Love yourself first so you are able to love others.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam in 2014.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. She’s been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
In this issue:
* Sealing the Deal Book launch with over 30 bonuses
* New Year’s Resolutions You’re Likely to Keep
* 20% off Irresistible Profiles
* Video: Finding Love in Cyberspace
We all start out the New Year with good intentions and new resolutions. If you’re single, you may create a personal list after a disappointing New Year’s Eve alone. You tell yourself it will be different next year and add finding love to the list along with a better diet and more exercise.
As good as your intentions are, like many resolutions, after a few weeks you lose momentum. You end up spending more time checking your friends’ facebook activity then focusing on logging on to Match, eHarmony, or OkCupid. Finding love online ends up moving down on your list of daily activities.
When you decide it’s time to make finding love a priority, you should make a commitment to sign up for an online dating site or two.
Why should finding love online stay on the top of your list? Forget the holiday pressures and red candy hearts. The period from New Year’s through Valentine’s Day is when singles will either join an online dating site for the first time, or renew their memberships. Most sites have an increase in membership by an average of 10% or more from now through Valentine’s Day. It’s peak season in the dating world. You need to play to win, or in this case, log on to find love.
Just like refreshing your Facebook profile with new photos and new updates, you need to keep your online dating profile robust and intriguing, instead of your former stagnant profile.
Here are three simple-to-follow and keep New Year’s resolutions for singles looking for love in cyberspace.
1. Refresh your profile. If you are satisfied with the online dating profile you currently have, change the order of your sentences and add something new and exciting that you’re looking forward to doing in the near future. Perhaps it’s an upcoming vacation or seeing one of your favorite bands in concert. As a result, your profile will become refreshed and chances are you will show up higher in a search. Remember to add new photos. If they’re good enough for Facebook, go ahead and add it to your Internet dating profile.
2. Reach out and reconnect. Did you get too busy during the year and miss out on meeting someone you started to communicate with online? Take a look in your Inbox and see if he or she still has an active online dating profile. Reach out and send an email with a simple, “Happy New Year” as a digital ice-breaker If their profile is still online, assume they haven’t met “the one” yet. It may be a time for a new beginning for both of you.
3. Narrow down your search. Do your friends complain that you are too picky? Have they stopped fixing you up? There’s nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you want in a relationship. Remember, no one really gets it all. We compromise on certain things and decide what our deal-breakers are. Make a list of what is most important to you. Number it from 1-10. Now, focus on the first 3 items on your list. Is it religion or hiking? Strolling through museums? Put those key words in your search. You might be delighted to see who appears on your screen.
If you need some extra handholding, I will work with you privately to create an irresistible online dating profile, complete with a catchy screen name so you can stand out in the crowded digital playing field. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com/irresistible-profiles
Let’s make this year the one you really find the love you are looking for so you can become the next Cyber Love Story of the Week couple.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating tips and advice follow Julie on Twitter @Julie Spira and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.