So you’ve made it this far. You like what you’ve read in his online dating profile and everything is checking out. Now, there’s only one thing left to do; get the conversation started. Don’t worry, it’s a lot easier than it seems. After all, you don’t have to be spontaneous or quick on your delivery. You can take all the time you might need to write a gripping email that will engage him.
Here are Nine tips for snagging him with email
1) Write a clever subject line. On many local dating sites your subject line is your first impression, so you need to make it pop! The key is to somehow relate to him using various approaches. Perhaps he’s a foodie as well. If so, consider writing, “from a fellow foodie” or if you know he’s into art try something like, “art event on a first date?” Pick something that really stood out to you and use it to your advantage to capture his attention.
2) Personalize it. Once again, select specific elements from his profile and incorporate them. For example, if he says that he’s optimistic and has a sense of humor then mention that those things are important to you. Perhaps you like his smile – mention that as well and even add a smiley face emoticon.
3) Don’t write a novel. That’s not to say keep it short. Though he might be interested in your life story, chances are he doesn’t want to hear it all at once. Leave the longer conversation for the first date. The goal in writing this email should be to pique his interest and leave some mystery so he responds. Writing too much in an initial email could mean more effort for him to reply and he might put your message on the backburner as a result. Keep it simple and don’t over think it. Try to focus on a couple of things that are important and let the conversation grow from there.
4) Ask a question. He will be more likely to respond if you ask him a question – this could be anything. Make it lighthearted or serious to get the conversation started.
5) Show your personality. Everyone loves someone with personality. This makes dating more fun. Show him a slice of who you are in your tone and delivery. If you’re soft spoken and shy, there’s nothing wrong with mentioning that. If you have a sense of humor, crack a few jokes. Perhaps you have a type-A personality. If so, there’s nothing wrong with sharing a story about your personality type. Just make sure to be you and be honest and authentic. He will appreciate it a lot more than receiving a generic message.
6) Don’t sound desperate. No one wants to date someone who is needy, so try to keep your email casual. Try not to come on too strong, otherwise he might label you as needy or desperate. The first email is just an introduction and exploration to see if you two are even on the same page. And remember, you are just as much the chooser as he is the picker.
7) Be clear in your message. The last thing you want to do is confuse him. You have all the time in the world to string together thoughts and ideas of why you’re writing to him. Take your time, relax and have fun with it. Just make sure that your email flows and it’s relevant to something that he can relate to. Communicating a strong, clear, and concise message says a lot about someone and he will notice the effort you’ve taken in contacting him.
8) Use bold text. Not everywhere. Just the main points you’re trying to get across. For example, if you really want him to know that you love dogs, write I really love dogs too and he’ll know just how much dogs mean to you. Do this for anything you might be passionate about.
9) Reference date ideas – Mention a few local activities that you are into, see what kind of responses you get. Positive reactions to these outings could be good indications for where you might end up going on a first date.
We hope these tips will lead to more clicks that lead to better conversations. Good luck!
Just remember that love is always the answer, so the question becomes, how do you find it if you’re dating over 50? We’re offering an opportunity to win a free eHarmony 3 or 6 month membership. eHarmony gives singles a clear advantage, matching you with only deeply compatible singles! Lots of people are beating the odds by betting on love. And if you register now at Cyber Dating Expert you could win a FREE eHarmony account. Sounds like a win-win while looking for love online.
Contest runs from November 13, 2014 – December, 13 2014
As mobile dating apps continue to be the hot new way for singles to find love online, daters are swiping right to connect on a variety of mobile dating apps. The message is very clear. The success of finding love online is all in the hands of your mobile phone
In a recent interview, I spoke with ABC News in Los Angels about the landscape of mobile dating [see video below].
Enter Hinge, a free mobile dating app which helps you find dates based upon which Facebook friends you have in common. The best way that I can describe Hinge is Tinder MEETS Linkedin.
The concept makes sense as singles have become accustomed to swiping on Tinder, the mobile app now responsible for over 10 million matches a day and 800 million swipes per day.
Where Tinder gives you unlimited matches based upon your location, Hinge selects 10 matches served to you at noon each day. If you refer your friends to join Hinge, the number of matches will increase.
How Hinge Works
Hinge takes your Facebook profile photos, age, work information, and other data that you’ve provided, so other singles will see exactly who you are, without having to do an extensive Google search or background search.
Hinge users are 99% college educated, and most popular industries include banking, consulting, media and fashion. The average user has 36 friends on Hinge and 90% are between 23-36. Hinge has made over 2 million matches and just celebrated the first engagement.
Hinge just launched in Los Angeles with a party in West Hollywood at Greystone Manor with 500 of their 7000 Los Angeles singles who were on the wait-list. ABC 7’s Elex Michaelson reported on the event, along with my analysis below.
It should be no surprise, that online daters are now spending more time on dating apps than they do on the sites themselves. IBISWorld reports that by 2018, more than 80 percent of the population will own a smartphone (up from 46 percent in 2012). A recent Pew Research study reported that 29% of cell owners describe their cell phone as ?something they can?t imagine living without.?
eHarmony reports that some users log on over 15-20 times a day using their mobile dating app with over 50% registering from their mobile phones. Their mobile app has been downloaded over 9 million times, with 57% of their app users who are male and 43% who are female.
Match just released Match 3.0, a completely redesigned mobile app for iOs. They report that half of their users are joining Match through a mobile device and more than 50% of the emails exchanged on Match.com are sent from a mobile device.
POF founder Markus Frind tells me that they have tens of millions of users on their mobile dating app. “Between the apps and just mobile web use we are at 90% mobile,” said Frind. “When it comes to online dating using a website isn’t something that most people do anymore. It’s all about the phone,” Frind added.
Hinge is now available in 9 cities in the United States including Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles, New York City, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Washington, DC.
At the end of the digital day, finding love from the convenience of your mobile phone has become a part of everyday life for most single who are looking for love online.
Are you using mobile dating apps?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. Julie was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Do you assume that once you push the send button, that the person on the other end will decide if you’ve made the cut or not?
In Diane’s words:
Steve was one of the first men I noticed and I was instantly attracted. He said he was too. What clinched it for me was his ability to write and express himself clearly and with proper spelling and grammar. Silly maybe, but since I?m a writer that’s important to me, plus it gave me real insight into his character.
Somehow, by mistake, we bypassed the controlled communication part of eHarmony and went straight to emailing each other through their website. He quickly explained he was going out of the country for a few weeks to work on a project so we would have to delay meeting. We sent a few emails back and forth before he left, but then there was nothing for about a month. Nada. I feared the worst (he’d found someone else or lost interest). Meanwhile Steve was thinking the same about me.
But what had actually happened was my last email to him had somehow timed out or gone astray so he thought I’d stopped communicating. I thought he hated what I’d written so had backed off.
Fortunately, he took a leap of faith and contacted me again when he returned. I was elated.
We met for the first time over coffee shortly after that, agreeing we’d also go out for dinner that night if all went well. And it did. The rest is history as they say. We more than hit it off. We began seeing each other all the time, going out to concerts, watching movies and cooking beautiful meals together. We shared our life stories, our triumphs and our heartbreaks, and began to blend our two worlds together.
The following spring we flew to Paris for a holiday and while securing our love lock to a Paris bridge alongside thousands of others, he pulled a diamond ring from his pocket, dropped to one knee and asked me to marry him. Somewhat shocked and more than a little embarrassed by the public display, I urged him to get up and awkwardly mumbled “ya sure?” in answer to the question. “Ya sure” has since become a loaded phrase for us. “Do you feel like going out for dinner?” “Ya sure.”
That fall Steve moved into my house in a nearby city and we began the process of merging and purging (we had 16 frying pans between us.)
Last summer we had a beautiful backyard wedding with 50 of our closest friends and family members. It was a magical day. Everyone danced, even the old folks in their 80s. Steve was 62, retired and a widower when I met him. I was 56 and divorced. We are deliriously happy in our new life together. Our story proves it’s never too late to find true love.
Congratulations to Steve and Diane who found an other chance at love.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Are you an Internet dating success couple? Send us your story and you might get featured in our Cyber Love Story series.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles and Online Dating BootCamp programs.
As Tinder continues to take the world by storm, the feature included an interview with Tinder’s co-founder, Justin Mateen, as well as featured other mobile dating apps including eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, Grouper, Grindr, and Coffee Meets Bagel.
Mobile dating is now over a $200 million dollar industry. Are you wondering how it all works?
Watch the video below for highlights.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and mobile dating expert who was an early adopter of Internet dating. She created her first profile almost 20 years ago and coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs and her Mobile Dating BootCamps. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
From checking out his or her Facebook profile, to following your digital crush on Twitter, the conversation is expanding.
So how do social media and love connect online to help you with your love life offline?
Both Jeff Pulver, the 140 Conference creator and my friend Debra Eckerling from Write on Online will be hosting the #140LA13 Mini-Conference: “The Rise of Listening in the Era of Social Media” on Monday, September 23, 2013 from 6:30pm – 9:30pm at Cross Campus at 820 Broadway in Santa Monica, CA.
I’ll be joined on our panel, Romance, Speaking and Hearing from the Heart with Kerianne Mellott, eHarmony’s Social Media Manager and Marni Battista, founder of Dating With Dignity. Together, the three of us will be answering your questions on how we engage with singles using social media and what social media channels we?re finding the most effective.
We’ll address emotional issues such as how much should we reveal on social media about our personal lives, how do we handle those whose hearts are healing and encourage others to be positive during an emotional time.
We do hope you join us at this very special event.
Other sessions in the 140LA 13 mini conference include:
Hosts: Jeff Pulver and Debra Eckerling
- Love, Passion & Chocolate, Ashley Walsh
- Romance, Speaking & Hearing from the Heart, Kerianne Mellott, Julie Spira, Marni Battista
- Engaging Your Community, David Bloom speaking with Catherine Geanuracos about Eric Garcetti’s social campaign strategy
- Transforming Entertainment through Social Media, Steven Swimmer, Jon Cody, Peter Hyoguchi, Mike Rotman
- Paying it Forward, Brian Mac Mahon
The #140conf events provide a platform for individuals and entrepreneurs to listen, connect, share, and engage with each other, while collectively exploring the effects of the emerging real-time internet on business.
Limited tickets can be purchased for $15 at 140confla13-estw.eventbrite.com
In a Harris Interactive study, commissioned by eHarmony, the new statistics show that over 1/3 of recent marriages have actually met online. This clearly shows that more people are interested in finding a serious relationship through a digital connection. The findings were published in the journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The study, titled “Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues,” is based on a survey of almost 20,000 people who wed between 2005 and 2012.
Just how much more satisfied are these relationships? On a scale of 1-10, relationships from online dating ranked 5.64 as compared to offline relationships at 5.48. Of those who met online, 45% met in a traditional online dating site and almost 21% met on a social networking site.
To be successful in online dating, I believe that you need to be very specific in what you’re looking for. More-and-more people are joining online dating sites for the first time, due to divorce, death of a spouse, or relationships running their course.
Earlier this year, we launched Facebook Love Stories to focus on the large amount of couples who are finding love through social networking sites.
So does online dating work? It certainly does, but you need to be patient and diligent in the process if you’re seriously interested in finding love on the Internet. Those who give up after a week or a month will be naysayers, but those who understand that finding love or a life partner is probably more important than finding your next job, should take the time and enjoy the journey.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and dating coach. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.
Meet Nicole and Gerald from Chesapeake, VA, who met just over 6 years ago on eHarmony.
If you haven’t heard the big news, this romantic couple will be getting married on New Year’s Day on the 2013 Rose Parade as they cruise through Pasadena on the Farmers Insurance “Love Float.”
Although Nicole and Gerald went to the same high school in Virginia, Gerald didn’t know that Nicole had a secret crush on him.? Ten years later, they were matched on eHarmony, when they gave online dating a try.
Gerald said?he knew Nicole was the one for him on their first date, as she walked into the room and gave him a big hug. Nicole loves the fact that Gerald loves her and accepts her for who she is.
Nicole and Gerald were voted in in the Farmers Insurance Dream Wedding promotion. You can watch them get married in front of 52 million television viewers at the 2013 Rose Parade on New Year’s Day.
Congratulations to Nicole and Gerald, our Cyber Love Story of the Week who will be starting their lives together as a married couple in a wedding to remember.
It’s peak season for Internet dating. Will Nicole and Gerald be an inspiration to you, that you too, can find love on the Internet?
Share your Cyber Love Story with us!
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and Follow @JulieSpira.
Online dating doesn’t mean just signing up for a dating site when you’re single any more. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry filled with mobile apps, dating coaches, and helps both singles find love and couples stay together with ongoing dating tips.
In a pre-Valentine’s Love Goes Digital panel hosted by Kevin Winston of Digital LA, online dating experts and sites discussed dating advice, the growing trend of mobile dating, and how to keep your love alive after the knot has been tied.
Grant Langston, head of social media at eHarmony and an employee of the site since before it’s launch in 2000 shared his experience on the changes their site has gone through. In my personal opinion, I think they have one of the best iPad apps around. The site will shortly be rolling out a new feature for your eHarmony timeline that’s similar to a? Facebook time-line.
Justin Fredericks, founder of Marriage.com, a video network that curates, produces and promotes videos about wedding, marriage, dating, and relationships talked about the new social networking site Pinterest, as it focuses on women.
I shared with the audience how I created my first online dating profile in 1994 as a charter member of Love@Aol, during the days of the dial-up connection. I penned my stories in my first book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and created CyberDatingExpert.com as a place for singles and couples to share their online dating stories. The use of social media on Twitter and Facebook has made a big impact on my brand. I also told singles not to ‘friend’ someone on Facebook before or after a first date. Personally, I think it’s creepy.
The audience was a mixed group of singles, married couples, dating industry executives, love coaches and those who are still looking for love online. We nibbled on chocolate, sipped One Coconut Water, and discussed what you should say or not say in your online dating profile.
At the end of the digital day, most of the audience felt they’d rather keep their love and dating life off of Facebook.
One thing’s for sure. The audience left fully armed with the dos and don’ts of social and online dating in time for Valentine’s Day.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter. If you loved this post, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for more dating advice.
The secret to a successful online dating site is a combination of social dating, mobile dating, matching, and a critical mass of members. Jazzed, created by eHarmony appears to be successful at combining all four.
The social dating site announced their official launch today with over 500,000 members and more than 250,000 mobile downloads of their iOS and Android apps.
In an exclusive video interview for the Online Dating Minute, I spoke with Grant Hosford, Senior Director at Jazzed, who shared a behind the scenes look at the dating site, including what inspired eHarmony to create a social dating site, as well as describing some of their features.
In addition, you can connect with Jazzed_Kate, their official Twitter account with over 16,000 followers who provides dating advice and customer service.
Are you ready to start adding your social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Netflix on your profiles? Are you interested in joining a site to expand your social network and meet more friends? ?Your comments and thoughts are welcome.
Julie Spira is known worldwide as the leading online dating expert. She provides dating and relationship advice on CyberDatingExpert.com, where singles and couples share their online dating stories. Connect with Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
In my exclusive interview with Dr. Gian Gonzaga, Senior Director of Research and Development at eHarmony Labs, you’ll hear about how singles and couples should celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Did you know if your photos are on your online dating profile, you’re 8 times more likely to get a response? Find out what the magic number of photos you should post and if you should post photos of your pets.
Learn more about the new book, the eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around, find out if you should propose on Valentine’s Day and more on Julie Spira TV. And don’t forget, eHarmony is offering their Free Communication month through February 28th.