As Valentine’s Day is practically around the corner, one of the most popular questions I receive as an online dating expert is how to have the best online dating profile to find a date in time for Valentine’s. Match now reports that online dating is the #1 way for singles to find a date, with 31% of singles finding love online.
Since Internet dating is available 24-hours a day, it’s time to grab your mobile phone and give your Internet dating profile a simple digital facelift.
Here are 8 tips to help your profile stand out.
1. Create a catchy screen name. Some sites just provide you with a number or variation of a screen name if your chosen name isn’t selected. Using your first name and a handful of digits isn’t catchy. Try to find a name that is unique to you and describes your personality. An example would be MusicLoverNYC if you live in New York and love music. Others would be YogaGirlLA or NurseLori.
2. Leave the novel at home. The best profiles are short and will pique the interest of a potential date. I always recommend 100-125 words in your essay. If it’s shorter, it shows that you’re not taking online dating seriously. If it’s too long, there will be nothing left to talk about on the date. Plus, men don’t like to read long-winded profiles. It seems overwhelming and leaves the perception that you could be a high drama person.
3. Post 3-5 photos. Both men and women are visual. Every profile must have 3-5 photos in it, with the primary photo being a close-up shot with a smile. I always recommend that a woman wear red in her profile, as men see too many little black dresses, so you won’t blend into the thousands of thumbnail shots. Red is also the color of love and passion. Statistics show that women wearing red do receive more views and emails. Remember to include a full-length body shot, so it doesn’t appear that you’re hiding anything and don’t wear sunglasses in your photos.
4. Ditch the selfies. Although the word ‘Selfie’ made it into the Oxford dictionary, a selfie isn’t the most flattering photo, so keep it off of your profile. Remember, this is your love life resume and if you’re hoping to attract the man of your dreams, make sure you look like his dream girl.
5. Ask a question. The goal of online dating is to make your profile come alive and be approachable. If you ask a question in your profile, it makes it easier for your potential date to engage in a conversation with you. After all, you’re trying to develop a rapport with someone, not just be a stagnant billboard.
6. It’s not All About You. A man would like to imagine what a life with you could be like, so make it easier for him to know. Talk about what date night with you would be like and say, on a weekend, it would be great to go hiking with you on a Saturday morning and maybe take in a film matinee in the afternoon. When you talk about your life’s passions, end the sentence with, “what about you?” If you name some of your favorite travel spots, include a question to ask him where his dream trip would be.
7. Be specific. Profiles that are more specific help start the conversation. From a man’s point of view, profiles all look about the same. So say you like to travel, and list some of your favorite travel spots. Talk about how you like music and how the Red Hot Chili Peppers are one of your favorite bands and that you enjoyed watching them in the Super Bowl half time show.
8. Dump the cliches. Men know that women love going on beach walks, but if your profile says I like beach walks, sunset dinners, and love to laugh, your online dating profile is filled with cliches. Leave those conversations for your first few dates and laugh when you’re together, not on your profile.
At the end of the digital day, online dating is a numbers game. You need to play to win.
Here’s more information on how you can get an Irresistible Online Dating Profile.
Photo credit: © JiSIGN – Fotolia.com
Meet Lauren who signed up for Online Dating BootCamp with Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira. In a video series on YourTango, we’ll follow her progress while she looks for love online.
Lauren has a new profile on Match and has high hopes that she’ll find someone to marry.
In this video, you’ll find out how to create a catchy screen name, learn the best number of photos to include in an Internet dating profile, and how to describe exactly what you’re looking for.
Online dating sites are booming in anticipation of the New Year and for those who are still hopeful that they might find a last minute date to toast to at midnight.
Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate how you approach Internet dating, so you’ll have a better experience and can become the next success story in the Cyber Love Story of the Week.
As good as your intentions are while making your list, like many New Year’s resolutions, after a few weeks you typically lose momentum and dieting and dating patterns will start to diminish. You’ll probably end up spending more time checking your friends’ facebook activity then focusing on logging on to Match, eHarmony, or OkCupid. Finding love online ends up moving down on your list of daily activities.
When you decide it’s time to make finding love a priority, here are some dating resolutions we think you’ll be able to keep.
1. Sign up for 1-2 online dating sites. If you’re already on a mainstream site, why not take your profile and associated photos and post them on a niche site that focuses on some of your passions? Remember to change the primary photo, screen name and the order of the paragraphs on your profile so it isn’t a complete copy-cat.
2. Sign on daily to read emails and see who the site matches you up with. We know you’re logging onto Facebook for 45 minutes to one hour a day, so why not carve out some of that time to devote to your dating sites? If your inbox is empty, go ahead and see who the site has matched you up with, or notice who has viewed your profile and winked or flirted with you. Another benefit: Some people search specifically for those online, or who had signed on within the last 24 hours to 3 days. You’ll be found much easier in the crowded digital playing field.
3. Write to 5 people a day. Does the squeaky wheel get the digital love deal? We think so. Depending on your age and the site, often ten outbound emails might result in only one response. Try to find at least five people every day that you think you’d connect with, or at least enjoy their company. After all, online dating is a numbers game.
4. Refresh your profile weekly. Active Facebook users often upload a new photo every few days. Why not find one of your favorite shots and add it to your dating profile to keep it fresh? Take it a step further and post a new event that you’re excited to be attending. Otherwise, your profile will become stale. Looking for a date to go to a hockey game? Mention it in your profile and see the responses you’ll get. Still stumped? Change the order of your sentences and you’ll be more likely to show up higher in a search.
5. Reach out and reconnect. Did you get too busy during the year with day-to-day activities or did your relationship recently run it’s course? Perhaps you missed out on meeting someone you started to communicate with online. Take a look in your Inbox and see if he or she still has an active online dating profile. Reach out and send an email with a simple, “Happy New Year” as a digital ice-breaker If their profile is still online, assume they haven’t met “the one” yet. It may be a time for a new beginning for both of you.
Remember, the period from New Year’s through Valentine’s Day is when singles will either join an online dating site for the first time, or renew their memberships. Most sites have an increase in membership by an average of 10% or more from now through Valentine’s Day. It’s peak season in the dating world. You need to play to win, or in this case, log on to find love.
If you need some extra handholding, I will work with you privately to create an irresistible online dating profile, complete with a catchy screen name so you can stand out in the crowded digital playing field.
Let’s make 2013 the year to fall in love online.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating tips and advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt, follow Julie on Twitter @Julie Spira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Photo credit: Thibault Renard – Fotolia.com
It’s no surprise that it’s competitive online. Everyone is jumping on the bandwagon, but often your profile is ho-hum. The result is your inbox may be rather empty. There’s no need to quit after a week or a month, but you should think about having a digital facelift to ramp up your search.
Before you hang up your digital hat, know that it doesn’t take an army to help you create an irresistible online dating profile, but just like a good newspaper or magazine article, you do need to stand out in the crowded marketplace.
Here are five tips that you can try on your own. If you need a little hand-holding, visit IrresistibleProfiles.com and we’ll get you started in no time.
Tips for Creating an Irresistible Online Dating Profile
1. Create a Catchy Screen Name. Stumped as to what’s catchy? You’d be surprised how many people take the random name assigned by the computer. Suzie12389 isn’t as catchy as BalletDancerinNY. If you’re still scratching your head and your favorite name is taken, remember the lyrics to a song that you were singing to in the car. How Music Can Enhance Your Online Dating Profile
2. Be Specific. While browsing through profiles, you might notice that so many just seem to look alike. Who wants to date a plain vanilla when they can have sugar and spice or cookies and cream? Don’t say you like music. Say you like classic rock music and are a Bruce Springsteen fanatic as you grew up in New Jersey. Who knows? You might get invited to a concert. Don’t say you like to travel, but say you loved skiing in Lake Tahoe one winter at a specific ski resort. Get the picture?
3. It’s all About the Photos. If hiring a professional photographer is in your budget, it’s an excellent idea. Perhaps you don’t need to buy that extra dress on sale. If not, grab a friend with a digital camera and snap about 100 photos in 5 different outfits. You can always fall back on browsing the photos you’ve uploaded on Facebook to add to your profile. Men are visual. If you look like you’re photo, he’ll be pleasantly surprised and will let you know. Most men are disappointed when you post photos from your Senior Prom, or that are a decade old. Post 3-5 photos, and remember to make one of them a full-length shot. Hint: He might be checking Facebook to see if your online dating photos resemble those you’ve posted on Facebook.
4. Leave the Novel at Home. There’s no need to reveal all. Sometimes, less is more. Profiles with over 200 words will be looked over after the first few sentences. It’s best to leave some mystery for your phone conversations and when you meet in real life.
5. Leave the Baggage Behind. Whether it’s an ex-boyfriend, ex-spouse, or ex-boss for that matter, no one wants to hear your dirty laundry. Avoid being the “Debbie Downer” of online dating and write about things you love. Everyone has had a bad date or two, but it’s not worth broadcasting. Ask yourself what you’re the most passionate about and let your potential date know what brings you joy.
At the end of the digital day, online dating is a numbers game. With over 120 million people worldwide logging on looking for love, there’s no better way to fill your date card until you find “the one.”
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author, and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating and relationship advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
On the Today Show, Kathie Lee and Hoda were joined by Cosmopolitan magazine’s Editor-in-Chief Kate White to talk about one of my favorite subjects, How to Create an Irresistible Dating Profile.
Among the terrific tips, Kate suggested using bullet points in your profile instead of a long, dragged out paragraph and to update your profile to keep it fresh and appearing high in a search.
Although Kate can’t create your personalized online dating profile for you, it’s something that we do every day with our signature irresistible profiles. Enjoy the video and if you need some additional help while looking for love online, let us know at CyberDatingExpert.com/irresistible-profiles
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Julie creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
I’m often out during the evenings speaking to singles looking for love online. As a dating expert, I’m asked to look at existing profiles from those frustrated with the process of cyberdating. I see photos with arms hanging over shoulders, essays as long as a novel, and sometimes find an entire flickr or picasa album posted. I meet successful men and beautiful women who just aren’t getting the results they want. If your profile looks like this, chances are you aren’t meeting the man or woman of your dreams. Before you cancel your membership, look at some of my top tips that you can do on your own to tweak your profile. These 5 simple tips will help you stand out in the crowded playing field of Internet dating.
1. Catchy Screen Name and headline. Get creative. Show your flirty side. Make it more than the number that the online dating site creates for you. Include your hobby, favorite travel spot, or passion.
2. Profile Photos worth being on the front page of a newspaper. You’d be surprised at the amount of blurry photos, photos with multiple people in them, or one’s that don’t have you looking your best. Smile in your photos. Smile on the phone. Don’t forget to smile on that first date as well. Both men and women are visual. Look your best. Wear your favorite color.
3. Word Count. Sometimes less is more. Writing eight paragraphs in your essay is too overwhelming. I recommend refining your word count to 150-200 words. Leave something to talk about on your first date and leave the novel out of your profile
4. Avoid Cliché’s. Looking for soul mate may be a given, but it won’t grab his or her attention. Be a little quirky and someone will want to know more about your fun personality.
5. Be Specific. If you are interested in marriage, don’t be afraid to check off that box. If religion is important to you, make note of that. Don’t say what you don’t want, but make sure that you say what you do like about being in a relationship.
If after revising your profile on your own, you still aren’t achieving the results that you need, it’s time to visit a dating coach and get an outside opinion. Contact us at CyberDatingExpert.com and we’ll help you create an Irresistible online dating profile.
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Listen to Ask the CyberDating Expert Radio Show, where our featured guest, Marie Forleo, bestselling author of Make Every Man Want You talked to Julie Spira about her book and provided her expert relationship advice.
Find out what it means to be irresistible and learn the 7 habits of highly unattractive women.
Hear Marie’s dating advice and tips on how to make your online dating profile more irresistible. You’ll hear her opinion on who should initiate contact if you’re an active member of an online dating site.
Marie shared her passion about her “Rich, Happy and Hot” mastery program and her fun and flirty irresistible quiz which is available for free on her site, MakeEveryManWantYou.com.
Hear Marie’s thoughts on dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.