I met my boyfriend on Tinder about 6 weeks ago and we decided to date exclusively after three weeks. Neither of us took our Tinder profiles down, but he wasn’t logging on to his and I was still logging on out of curiosity to see who was on Tinder, but not chatting with anyone.
After a week of him giving me grief for having an active Tinder profile, I finally took his down and showed him the screen shot of me doing so. I thought he’d be excited to hear the news, but instead, he decided to keep his profile up.
Now, I’m the unhappy one, as I can’t understand why he’d make me take my profile down while he’s still an active member of Tinder. I’m starting to get frustrated and am wondering if we should break up. Every time I see him staring at his mobile phone, I think he’s looking for another girlfriend. What do you think?
There are a lot of singles who are in relationships who are still attached to their Tinder mobile dating app. Since it’s known as a social discovery app, many people are chatting with potential friends. Even a man recently posted a profile as a golden retriever dog to chat with people. I can understand that since you met on Tinder, that you should both probably have removed your profiles at the same time. It’s not fun being pressured to take your profile down when your boyfriend won’t do the same in return for you. Sure you should have toasted together and pulled the plug on your profiles at the same time, but since that didn’t happen, ask your BF how he would feel if suddenly you put your profile back up on Tinder.
Chances are he won’t be that happy about it, but if he says he doesn’t mind, it might be time to start dating others and reactivate your profile. During this time, you can still date your BF, but let him know you’re no longer exclusive. Which means, I suggest you keep your clothes on until both of you are on the same digital page. While it might seem harsh and hard to turn back the wheel, you’ll know where you stand in your relationship.
Keep me posted. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
The first Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter of 2014 is reading for your reading pleasure.
Tick, tick, tick…What will you be doing on Sunday night at 8:57pm?
As we embark on a New Year, I know many of you start putting together your lists of resolutions and think about how much better 2014 will be as compared to 2013.
If so, you’re not alone. Maybe you’ll date a different type this year. Perhaps you’ll encourage your children to look at love differently.
The good news is, that this is the number one busiest week for new singles to join online dating sites. As a matter of fact, Match reports that this Sunday is the busiest time of the year for singles looking for love online. Think about it. It’s the first weekend and relaxing day after two weeks of holiday fun and interruptions. Already the phone is ringing with singles hoping to ramp up the search.
Other sites such as JDate and ChristianMingle concur with these findings that show peak season starts on December 26th and lasts through February 14th.
Ready to jump in? Let us know how we can help you find love in 2014 and what relationship challenges you’re facing with our Irresistible Profiles or online dating profile critiques. Ready, set, go!
On January 14-17, 2013, I’ll be heading to Las Vegas for the Internet Dating Conference, where I’ll be presenting the award for the best mobile dating app. If you’ll be attending, do let us know!
Not single? Feel free to share the Weekly Flirt with your friends and loved ones.
~Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert Romance Team
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for online dating advice
As I critiqued her profile, we needed to make changes in her geographic area as she only wanted to meet men within a ten mile radius. This wasn’t realistic. Think about it. If you could fall in love with someone on an airplane, would you mind if he lived an hour away?
Today’s lesson is:
“How do you describe yourself exactly to attract the kind of man you’re looking for?”
Watch as we hone done the profile, toss out photos that didn’t make her look her very best, and convinced her to date men a little bit younger, since she said she was only looking for someone 17-years older. Seriously Lauren, a mature man closer in age to you might be a great husband.
Watch as we cast a much wider net, so Lauren can find the man of her dreams online.
Miss a previous episode of Online Dating BootCamp? Watch our videos here.
Find out more about Online Dating BootCamp and how to create an Irresistible Profile with private coaching by Julie Spira
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and was an early adopter of Internet Dating. She helps singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible coaching and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
It’s with great enthusiasm to announce that Online Dating BootCamp will go on the road to Las Vegas in January of 2012.
Online Dating BootCamp matches four single daters with up to eight online dating and mobile dating apps.
Online Dating Expert Julie Spira will coach each single dater, helping them to create an irresistible online dating profile. The singles will be hosted by the Internet Dating Conference, where they will be participating in a mobile dating focus group at Harrah’s Hotel on the Las Vegas strip.
To apply to be a contestant, visit CyberDatingExpert.com/contact and let us know why you’d like to find love online.
To register for the iDate Dating Industry Super Conference on January 16-19, 2013, click here for $50 off.
For those of you who know me, you?ll know that more often-than-not, I?ll be wearing a red dress or sweater when out in public. Red is a signature color that defines both passion and love and is my favorite color for first date outfits and online dating profile photos. It also helps you stand out from the other women who can?t part with their signature little black dress, who don?t realize they?re blending in with the crowd, both online and offline.
This holiday season, you?ll have the chance to shine, both online and IRL, as I?ll go on record saying, ?Let them wear red!?? Even the late Fashion designer Bill Blass has a famous quote, ?When in doubt, wear red.?
Need more expert fashion advice for the holidays?
In a recent article on Fashionista.com,? Single All the Way? Expert Fashion Tips for Online Dating, I shared some of my holiday fashion, beauty, and hair tips for those looking for love online.
After all, your online profile photo is your love-life resume.? The men you?ll be meeting will be delighted when you resemble the irresistible photos they?ve viewed.
Remember, that women spend too much time dressing for women. Men don?t care about the labels, and it?s rare that I?ll hear a guy ask, ?Is that Chanel or Prada?? If you look good in an outfit that fits well and is appealing, they?ll like the package, regardless of the price tag of the item. If red isn?t your color, try pink or fuchsia, as men equate this with femininity. Both red and pink will help your profile stand out instead of wearing black, white, grey, or complicated patterns.
Remember that men undress you with your eyes, so avoid the extra-low cut tops and dresses, and please stay away from bathing suits. It?s no different than lingerie with a different fabric. You?re looking for a soul-mate, not an instant bed-mate.
Remember to wear a few different outfits to show that you?re diverse. This helps you avoid writing the clich? of saying you go from jeans to black-tie. Let the guys see that look instead.
If you?re getting ready for a hot online date or are prepping for your online dating photo shoot, invest $35 and go to a blow-dry bar to get your hair blown out nice and silky. However, don?t become a ?hair chameleon,? as having too many different hair colors and styles could be off-putting to men who view your profile. Most men are simple and want truth-in-advertising, so they hope you?ll look like your online dating profile photos. Avoid the desire to have glamour shots taken. Guys will think everything about your profile is photo shopped, from your age to your laugh lines.
Decide which features you want to focus on for your online dating photo shoot. If you have luscious lips, add a bit of color and gloss to accentuate them. A guy will think about what it?s like to kiss you, but if you?re wearing bright red lipstick, he may not want it on his collar just yet. If your eyes are the most flattering, apply eyeliner, fabulous lengthening mascara, and a simple light colored lip-gloss. If you overdo it on the make-up, men will think you?re too high-maintenance and it will actually make you look older. Something we all dread when it comes to posting our age.
At the end of the digital day, a natural look is something most men would enjoy seeing. They won?t know all the effort you put in to creating your irresistible online dating profile. It’s our little secret.
Full article at Fashionista.com
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Every year at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we have our Irresistible Anniversary Celebration. It was four years ago on October 15, 2008, that CyberDatingExpert.com, an online dating advice magazine was officially launched. Today, we’re honored to be considered the TOP online dating advice site on the planet and are helping more and more singles find love online.
It’s a joy to share with you our year-in-review and a few special announcements and offers for our Anniversary Week.
When we launched as a site to help singles while dating in a Web 2.0 World, we knew we could help singles in their cyber journey. We’d like to thank you for helping us remain the #1 online dating expert site on the Internet. In honor of our birthday, we’d like to give you a gift to help you while looking for love online and the largest discount ever on our Irresistible Profiles.
From Monday, October 15th through Sunday, October 22nd, we’ll be giving our readers a free .pdf copy of our bestselling online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. To receive your free copy follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and post this update. Hi @JulieSpira. I’m #lookingforloveonline.
Also during our irresistible anniversary celebration week, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and post your update of “Happy Anniversary Cyber-Dating Expert. I’m looking for love online” to receive a free copy of The Perils of Cyber-Dating.
In addition, we’ll be answering your dating questions for FREE all weekend long. So do take a moment and join in on the fun. If you have a dating dilemma, let us know!
50% Off Irresistible Profiles
Need some extra hand-holding? We’re offering our readers 50% off our Going Steady and Totally in Love Programs, where we’ll create an irresistible online dating profile to help you shorten the search and ride into the digital sunset together. But don’t wait. This offer is only valid for new orders placed between October 15, 2012 – October 22, 2012. Click here to get started.
Bloomingdales – Beauty 101: Meet Your Match
October 20, 2012, 1PM To 2PM – 4PM To 5PM
Our week long celebration will end at Bloomingdales in Century City (Los Angeles), where it’s an honor to partner with Bloomies for their “Turn Your Beauty On” Promotion. We know you might need some help with finding your perfect makeup match to look super-beautiful on date night. Come see Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira at the Meet Your Match speed-beauty event. Julie will provide personalized dating and relationship advice. With your $25 ticket, redeemable in Cosmetics merchandise, you’ll receive free samples, light refreshments, and enter to win one of the many luxurious Cosmetics gift baskets. Stop by any Cosmetics counter to get your ticket now!? This is going to be a lot of fun and tickets are limited. Call 310-772-2144 to reserve your spot!
Now for a few bragging rights and in case you missed some of our highlights, we’re sharing our year-in-review for you.
Best Dating Blog Finalist
You voted for us for the best dating blog in the world and we became a finalist. Yes, there were thousands of votes and the competition was steep. CyberDatingExpert.com was the only dating advice site to be a finalist in both 2011 and 2012.? It’s with heartfelt thanks that we acknowledge your support.
In the News
From Facebook to mobile dating, online dating safety to breaking up,? our dating advice reached millions on multiple continents! It was an honor to be named one of America’s Leading Relationship Experts in Woman’s World magazine.? Most of our media appearances can be found in our press room.
Mobile Dating BootCamp
We hosted the first-ever Mobile Dating BootCamp and it was featured in the Washington Post. Mobile is the hot topic and we’re helping singles find love from the convenience of their mobile phones. We’re gearing up for Season Two of Mobile Dating BootCamp, and our mobile dating advice has been featured in/on Canadian Living, Mashable, Mobile Dia, NBC, and NPR.
Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps
Back by popular demand and in conjunction with Social Media Week, we announced the Cyber Dating Expert Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps for 2012. This year, we expanded the list to include social discovery apps. Why wait until you get home to find a date? It’s time to start dating on your cell phone.? View our post to see all the features of our favorites this year.
Your Online Dating Stories
From the bottom of my heart, all of us at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters thank you for another amazing year of letting us help you find love in a Web 2.0 World. Do remember to like us on Facebook and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
?I had spent several months waiting to hit ?go? on my online dating profile, unsure about my photos and insecure about the the wording of my responses. After spending just a few hours with Julie, we were able to craft a profile that truly reflects the real me. She insisted we post it live as soon as we were done. The results were unbelievable. Within hours, I received 5 thoughtful emails from men who fit my criteria. Several more soon followed and continue to pour in. Without her invaluable advice, I would have never had the kind of success I?ve been able to have. Thank you Julie!?
?I had been happily married for 25 years and was nervous about starting over again. After healing from my husband?s death, I worked with online dating coach Julie Spira who gave me the confidence and tools for dating online. I signed up for the ?Totally in Love? package, where Julie created my profile and held my hand along the way. Within a week I met someone who I really liked. I became optimistic about finding love again. A few months later, I was pleasantly surprised as I fell in love with my Soul Mate.?
~Gail ? 56
?I worked with Julie Spira to rewrite my online dating profile. With her help and coaching, I was able to find more quality women to write to online.?
~Dean ? 35
When singles initially sign up for an online dating site, they tend to think it will be smooth sailing. They expect to check their in-box the next day and see it full of messages from attractive, successful singles who are excited to meet them.? Unfortunately, it?s not always a perfect world. Some online daters spend hours perfecting their profiles and uploading their best photos; yet still feel disappointed at the lack of emails.
Here are five surprising reasons from our friends at We Love Dates, as to why you might not be getting enough email messages online.
1. Your profile is like a laundry list.
While it?s a good idea to be specific about what you’re looking for, if you use your profile as a checklist of the qualities a date must absolutely have, you’re likely to run the risk of appearing too picky.
Online dating is a two-way street. Rather than just stating what you?re looking for, let someone know what you can bring to the relationship. If you?re describing a perfect person who doesn?t exist, those reading your profile will assume they?ll fall short and will move on to another pretty face.
2. Your photos are inconsistent.
It’s so important to upload photos that show how you look today, not those from the hot trend five years ago. Even if you think you looked better last decade, those photos are not an accurate reflection of how you appear today.? Singles will check out your Facebook profile to see if you dating profile resembles the real you. Looking different in each photo will cause confusion and he?ll be quick to hit ?next.
3. You?re too negative.
Dating can be extremely difficult, but your online dating profile isn’t the place to air your grievances about your ex boyfriend or about not getting your spousal support check. Being negative in your profile shows that you’re potentially not over past experiences that have hurt you, or are a real life ?Debbie or Donnie Downer.?? Both of these qualities are not attractive. Plus, if you complain so publicly about your dating life, a date might worry about what?s next on your complaint list. He may have just run away from a nagging girlfriend or wife and doesn’t want a repeat performance. Try to remain positive and be more like the person you?d actually want to date.
4. Your profile is filled with typos and incorrect grammar.
When your profile is a mess grammatically, it tells the world that you haven’t put very much effort into the process. Simply put, it’s far from irresistible. If you wouldn?t dream of posting a Linkedin profile with typos and bad grammar, know that your dream date wouldn?t consider you as a likely prospect for love either. It?s not necessary to be an award-winning essayist, but using spell-check goes a long way to make a good first digital impression. Take it a step further and ask a friend to proofread your profile to catch any errors you might have missed.? Your profile is the first glance you’re giving potential dates, so invest the time and energy to make it the best it can be.
5. You’re on the wrong dating site.
There are over 1500 online dating sites, with new ones popping up every week. Online dating sites aren’t one-size fits all. If you find that one particular site isn’t working out for you, don’t give up on online dating completely. Find another site with more members or try a niche site based upon your unique interests. The menu of online dating sites caters to specific religions, activities or ages, and can also be divided based upon casual dating or finding a serious relationship or marriage.? There are plenty of success stories in our Cyber Love Story of the Week from a variety of dating sites. ?Experiment and find out what online dating sites work for you.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. As the top digital matchmaker, Julie creates irresistible online dating profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt Newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Photo credit: ? dundanim – Fotolia.com
So your relationship status is listed as a “dud.” Does that mean you should accept your ho-hum love life or are you ready to ignite some fireworks to kick-off the summer holiday?
At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we’ve decided to help you ramp up your search with a wonderful 20% HOLIDAY Savings! But we’re only limiting this offer to TEN lucky people.
SAVE over $150 on your package now from July 2 – 8, 2012 and sign up for our Signature IRRESISTIBLE Online Dating Profile Makeover package.
As you know, I’m passionate about helping singles find love both online and offline. I also happen to love holiday weekends. It’s the time to ramp up your flirting techniques and mingle with singles all weekend long.
While fireworks will be in the sky throughout America, what about the fireworks and passion in your love life? Don’t you deserve to have a spark ignited?
That’s right. No gimmicks, no long term commitment. One very special PRIVATE coaching session that will change the direction of your love life. Let the next holiday fireworks be your very own in the arms of someone very special.
- 20-minute Phone or Skype Consultation
- Personalized Dating Assessment
- Customized Online Dating Profile from Scratch or Makeover
- Includes a NEW Catchy Screen Name
- New Bio With the Perfect Word Count
- One Personalized Matching Search
- 30-Days Unlimited eMail Support to help you before, during, and after your dates. (valued at $997)
*Don’t wait as this offer is valid for the FIRST 10 People who sign up and will sadly expire on July 8th at midnight when the price will revert back to the regular rate.
Sign up now and let the next Cyber Love Story of the Week be your own.
*Coaching Packages are non-refundable
Here are five dating and relationship tips to help everyone appreciate Father’s Day
1. If your relationship is new and you haven’t met his kids yet, let him enjoy the day alone with them. It’s not time to introduce his new girlfriend to the relationship. Go ahead and send a sweet text message in the morning wishing him a “Happy Father’s Day.” He’ll appreciate that you care enough to acknowledge the day and aren’t making the day all about you.
2. If you’ve already met his kids and don’t have children of your own, have a conversation about how he wants to spend the day. Offer to celebrate Father’s Day with him separately by perhaps suggesting a home cooked dinner on a different night or giving him tickets to his favorite sporting event for him and his children to attend.
3. If you have children of your own, don’t insist on blending the families if your children won’t be with their father or suggest splitting the time on Father’s Day between two families. Everyone will feel a bit left out with half of a celebration. Go ahead and let your date know you respect his time with his children and make other plans with your kids and go to a movie.
4. Don’t go buying him an extravagant gift if your relationship is new or suggest going away for a weekend trip. He might feel overwhelmed if you haven’t become serious yet and withdraw from the relationship. Send him an iTunes musical CD if he loves music from his favorite band.? It’s the thought that matters.
5. If you’ve met his kids and see them on a regular basis, ask your guy if he wants to be alone with them on Father’s Day. Then ask him to ask his children if they’d like to go out as a group or just with their dad. They’ll appreciate that you consider their feelings on the day that they celebrate their dad.
Remember, single dads are really interested in meeting women with children. Match reports that single dads are 56% more likely to email single moms than men without children. Eventually if your relationship progresses, you’ll be blending the families on the weekend, but don’t rush into it just yet.
How are you planning on celebrating Father’s Day this year?
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She creates irresistible profiles and coaches singles on the dating scene. Like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.
Remember the scenario. Boy meets girl. Boy becomes attracted to girl. Girl gets infatuated and dreams about their future. They go on a movie date and hold hands. He takes her home to meet his family. They fall in love and get married. And then it’s “Happily Ever After.” ~ The End.
Gone are the days where you can fully rely on falling in love at first sight from across a crowded room. I know it can happen, as I was one of those rare people who experienced this magical love. More often-than-not, it happens in the movies and romance novels.
So here we are with online dating being a part of most single’s lives. Everyone seems to know someone who has met their significant other or spouse online. I often talk about online dating safety as you don’t know who you’re meeting from behind the keyboard. I’ve met married men who propose to single women regularly. I know women who lie about their age by ten years. It’s much easier to hide and idealize about who you’d like to be someday in your profile or write up a bio that would describe what you believe your dream girl will be attracted to.
As an online dating expert and coach, I believe in truth-in-advertising. After all, once you meet in person, if you’ve lied about some obvious things in your profile, it will be a bad experience for everyone involved.
Doing a simple Google check if your date’s name isn’t a very common one isn’t a bad idea. Telling your date you did a background check on them before you met in person is a terrible way to start a relationship.
However, this latest infographic will show you some of the typical lies you might observe while looking for love online , along with a few ways to get some deeper information if you feel the need to.
Presented By: BackgroundCheck.org
Would you do a background check on a date to feel safer?
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.