Our friends at JDate and ChristianMingle just released their second annual State of Dating in America report, where they surveyed over 2,600 U.S. singles between the ages of 18 and 59 to find out how they felt about dating in the digital age.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s not a surprise that the stigma of online dating is continuing to dissipate. The report showed that 85% now believe Internet dating is socially acceptable. The survey looked at the behaviors of the online dating cycle from first contact to moving in together and even marriage.
Let’s start with getting to the first online date. Are all online daters serial daters? While many have said that online dating comes complete with a “shopping cart” mentality, and the large bouquet of singles on dating sites, one would think Internet daters’ date cards would be filled with a different date every day of the week.
According to the survey, while singles are writing to several people at once, in reality, they prefer to date one person at a time. Does this mean online daters are really serial monogamists instead of serial daters?
The question asked in the survey said:
Do you generally contact one person, communicate with them and go on a date OR are you communicating with multiple people during the same time frame?
More than half of the respondents admit they go out with one dater at time, with 63% of women and 53% of men saying they communicate with multiple people, but only go out with one person at a time.
By comparison, only 38% of men and 24% of women contact one person at a time, and the lowest response came from 9% of men and 14% of women who date multiple people at the same time.
Frankly, I’m surprised at these numbers, as it takes time to get to know someone. Going on a few dates with a few people simultaneously should help the process and help you become a better dater, right? Should one put all of their eggs into one digital basket?
Other findings included the Top 3 deal-breakers, with hygiene being at the top of the list for both men (35%) and women (35%). Hint: Take that extra shower and keep a toothbrush and breath mints in your car.
The good news is that the stigma about online dating is continuing to diminish. Two out of three singles in the survey knew people who met as a result of online dating, and an overwhelming 94% of singles believe that online dating expands their dating pool with 86% saying it speeds up their search as compared to being set up by friends.
Think about it. Online dating is available 24 hours a day, so the convenience factor is there. Still, finding love online can be like finding a needle in a digital haystack. You need to become the “1 in 40 million.” At the end of the digital day, it’s a numbers game worth playing.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Our friends at JDate are giving us two free tickets to give away for their annual Gala.
Celebrating its 20th year, the SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA will be held at Red O Restaurant in Beverly Hills featuring cuisine by world-renowned chef Rick Bayless. This trendy-spot features bold, dramatic décor and a sultry ambiance bound to ignite a hot party. Guests will enjoy delicious tapas, tequila tasting, all-night drink specials and amazing raffle prizes. When attendees are not busy schmoozing, eating or drinking, they can hit the dance floor and show off their moves.
To enter to win two free tickets, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and post your comment that you’d like to win tickets to JDate’s SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA.
Advanced tickets are $35 each or $50 for two. Grab your BFF and your favorite party dress or digs and enjoy this fun and festive holiday soiree.
What: JDate’s SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA
Where: Red O Restaurant, Beverly Hills, CA
When: December 24, 2013 9pm-2am
Why: Because your single and need to mingle.
Added bonus: Our friends at Uber will be offering new clients a free ride valued at $50.
Visit us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and let us know why you want to win tickets to SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA.
The winner will be announced on Facebook on December 2nd.
To buy tickets, visit http://www.jdate.com/schmooz
Over the years, I’ve seen many marriage proposals for couples who have met online. Watching all of the top nominees in the Top Proposal contest brought tears to my eyes. I’m truly happy for all of the couples who have found love on JDate.
I selected Eric’s music video proposal of “I Do Love You” to Nina for several reasons. It was the most creative, truly fun to watch, and featured many highlights of their beautiful courtship. I found myself smiling and humming the whole way through, especially when she said, “Yes!”
Featuring a song and dance by Groom-to-Be Eric LaBarre, the heartwarming video tells the story of how the two met on JDate and the development of their relationship leading up to the special moment. When LaBarre knew he wanted to propose to Nina Sturtz, he recruited her best friend to help create the video and included family and friends in its production. The proposal was inspired by Sturtz’s love of musical theatre, and she calls the video “the most perfect Nina proposal ever!”
The couple has won a 7-day vacation to the Bahamas.
It’s a joy to feature Eric and Nina in our Cyber Love Story of the Week. Congratulations to both of you from your friends at CyberDatingExpert.com.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and was an early adopter of Internet dating. She’s been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
As an early adopter of Internet dating and as an Online Dating Expert with almost 20 years of writing dating profiles, I’ve helped many Jewish singles find love on JDate. Some fond memories include one couple who gave birth to the first JDate baby, and another who found love by expanding their zip code to include dating in Europe. Many couples who I’ve coached have taken my online dating advice are now happily married or are in long-term exclusive relationships.
I know that cyber dating can be challenging, but there are so many Internet dating success stories that are worth sharing and I look forward to watching all of your marriage proposal videos.
If you’ve met your fiance or spouse on JDate, I invite you to share a video on their Facebook page about your marriage proposal and enter their Top Proposal Contest.
One lucky couple will be treated to on a 7-Day romantic trip to Breezes in the Bahamas. Isn’t it time for a second honeymoon?
Details can be found on their Facebook Page.
Need help with your online dating profile? Visit IrresistibleProfiles.com to learn more on how we can help you find your dream date.
Photo credit: JDate
Todd and Rozie were both members of JDate where they were looking for love online.
Both the two of them were frustrated with the search process and were about to let their memberships expire.
Rozie decided to give the online dating game one last shot when she sent Todd an email that simply said, “You look cute. I like your profile.”
Rozie didn’t even have an online dating profile photo posted and most of the details in her profile were left blank.
Todd was hesitant to reply, but figured he’d say hello and ask her to send him a picture. He was glad he did so as when he received Rozie’s photo, he thought she was really cute.
After about one month of email exchanges and a few phone calls, they finally met up in person. Their first date was scheduled for drinks after work, but the conversation led to dinner. Dinner turned into afterglow drinks and their first casual drink date lasted for seven hours! The two went home separately at 2am, only because they needed to get to work the next day.
After seven months of dating, Todd proposed marriage to Rozie in a romantic way at the tallest tower in Krakow, Poland. It was the largest square in Europe.
They married a year and a half later and now have two children.
Congratulations to Todd and Rozie who let the conversation flow and fell in love on JDate
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Gail had been a member of JDate for only a couple of days when she received a very funny email. It was so funny that her daughter actually scolded her and said, “Mom, what is so funny? I’m trying to sleep here.”
The email came from Mark, who had been single for 16 years after his divorce, and had his share of dates. Gail looked at Mark’s profile and realized that he was completely different from anyone she had dated or had been married to. Gail was used to being with lawyers and Mark was a writer and humorist, who had also performed stand-up comedy.
Gail liked Mark’s smile, so she responded to his email and they eventually talked on the phone. Mark wanted to meet Gail right away to see if there was any chemistry in person. The two met at Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, CA for a three-hour dinner date and walked along the promenade watching the street performers.
“His profile picture was no lie,” said Gail. “He looked about 15 years younger than his stated age. He had boyish good looks and a smile that warmed his soft brown eyes, a backpack thrown over his shoulder, he was neatly dressed and from what I could discern, lean and very nicely built. I was toast.”
The two were attracted to each other right away and quickly learned that their birthdays were only two days apart.
In less than a week Gail and Mark went on their second date, which lasted the entire day. “I picked Gail up at her house and we went to the Skirball Center, took in the exhibits, had lunch there, and then went to a screening of the movie “Rock of Ages where we held hands,” said Mark. The date continued with fine dining at Luna Park restaurant. The two took down their dating profiles within the first month of dating. “We’ve been together over three months and I’m increasingly more nuts about her,” Mark added.
Gail keeps asking Mark, “How is it, exactly, that you have managed to stay single for 16 years???” I guess it will be one of (my) life’s great mysteries and, also, my great fortune.”
Congratulations to Gail and Mark, our Cyber Love Story couple who proves that patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for.
Mark’s dating column can be found at JDate.
Do you have an online dating success story to share?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Just in time for the Jewish New Year, online dating site JDate has published an infographic showing a milestone of almost 1000 marriages since their inception in 2003.
The Jewish online dating site commissioned ResearchNow to survey married Jewish Internet users. The results showed that JDate is responsible for more Jewish marriages than all of the other major online dating sites combined.
Of the 948 who participated in the survey, 52% who married met on JDate.
It makes sense if religion is important to you to visit an online dating site with singles sharing the same belief. Singles appear to be dating up a storm. Five out of 9 Jews who were surveyed and were married since 2008, used an online dating site in their search for love.
Are you a member of a niche online dating site focusing on religion? Comments are welcome and you can sign up for JDate in our Dating Community.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
It was an honor to once again take the stage at the 140 Characters Conference to talk about dating, love, and romance in the real time web. Along with some of my favorite social media friends, we united as we shared our hearts and souls, with not just the attendees in Hollywood, but with the rest of the world as the event was streamed live for others to enjoy.
On day one of the tw0-day event, 140 founder and curator, Jeff Pulver welcomed everyone to the Music Box Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard. We learned about social media and education, heard from singer Michele Branch, became immersed in real-time news gathering trends where Twitter is 30-minutes ahead of the Associated Press, and enjoyed a live performance from Andy Grammer.
On day two, I attended the Book Author’s Panel led by Imal Wagner and the Writers Panel with Debra Eckerling from Write On Online. Catching up with Chamillionaire was once again a treat.
My presentation was held in the afternoon. I was introduced by Jason Pollock, who shared some of his online dating experiences from many years ago on JDate prior to going on stage. I spoke to the crowd about the importance of authenticity in your online dating profile.
“Everyone wants to love and be loved,” I said. I added, “Love never goes out of style and yet technology changes on a daily basis. It’s my goal to marry love and technology to help singles find love online.”
I shared my personal story about going from a popular rock-and-roll DJ to an Internet executive, while in the middle I sadly had my heart broken. I created my first online dating profile over 16 years ago to heal my wounds during the days of the slow dial up connection, where I’d receive a hefty $300 monthly bill while looking for love online. There were no role models, no dating coaches, and Match.com and eHarmony didn’t exist. Most of the hands were raised in the room when I asked, just how many of you in the room have tried online dating? The majority ruled. From dial-up to mobile dating, I shared as much as I could with the audience and poured out my heart and soul.
The other dating advice I shared included:
*Tell your own age - Think about it. Would you really want your date to lie to you? It’s time we feel comfortable with our age, weight and who we are in the world.
*There is nothing more powerful than the Facebook status relationship change – I’ve said it before, but when you see the little red heart on your friends Facebook updates, just how curious are you about who their new beau is or why it’s complicated? We just feel the need to know. Personally, I don’t want to watch someone’s relationship status change from “Single” to “In a Relationship” to “It’s Complicated” to back to “Single.” Unless you’re planning a wedding, we don’t really want to share your drama.
* Be specific. If you want to get married, say so. Don’t worry about chasing those away who aren’t interested in a commitment.
* Try a niche online dating site. Several recommended sites I mentioned were Brainiac Dating for those with a high I.Q., Meetcha for the baby boomers, and Online Booty Call for the causal daters looking to hook up.
* Mobile Dating. I recently published a list of some of the Top mobile dating apps for you to enjoy.
I shared some of the Cyber Love Story of the Week success stories with the group and encouraged them to join in on the conversation at CyberDatingExpert.com. There is someone for everyone and I encourage you with enthusiasm on your cyberdating journey.
Thank you to Jeff Pulver for another incredible 140 Conference in Los Angeles and for my friends and supporters who cheered me on. I am grateful, honored, and appreciative of the support from my friends and colleagues on Twitter, Facebook, and in real life. I truly hope that I can make a difference in yours.
Just in time for Social Media Week we are proud to present our Top Ten favorite mobile dating applications at CyberDatingExpert.com
The year 2010 will go down in history for mobile dating becoming mainstream with many of the traditional online dating sites launching their apps. A Juniper research study estimates that mobile dating will be a 1.4 billion dollar industry by 2014. According to a Ground Truth report, the number of visitors to mobile dating sites increased this past summer by 92 percent from the first week in June to the last week in July. Here’s our list of some of the best mobile dating apps worth downloading.
1. Meet Moi - Meet Moi is a location-based mobile dating company which was formed in 2007. In August of 2010, they launched Meet Moi Now, their Android mobile app and became the first matchmaking service to integrate with Facebook. You can sign up for their basic service for free to create your profile, browse profiles, send winks, respond to received messages, and receive unlimited SMS alerts. They update your location in real-time. When a match is nearby, you get an alert on your phone.
2. Match Mobile - Match.com, who celebrated their 15th anniversary this year, launched Match Mobile in 2007. They added their iPhone app in 2009, and their mobile dating service is now also available on the Android, Blackberry and Palm platforms. Users can download Match.com apps to access the Match.com service. Match claims that close to 10% of their users access their site solely from a mobile device. Their mobile users are twice as engaged versus those who use Match on their desktop computers. Members can browse singles, send winks, and upload photos directly from their mobile phone to their profile. A subscription is required to send and receive emails.
3. Speed Date - SpeedDate.com launched their mobile app this year and has over 1.5 million unique iPhone installs. Over half of them join their service after their installation. Singles can finger-swipe through millions of profiles, choose who they would like to meet and then start conversations via email. Advanced filters allow users to narrow searches based on various criteria such as age and location. In addition, a unique tagging feature ensures all favorite member profiles are stored and easily accessible.
4. Zoosk - Zoosk’s iPhone dating application is the largest dating app in the U.S. It’s also popular in other countries such as Australia, France, Italy and Spain. Users are awarded coins when they download the iPhone app. Their service allows you to chat and flirt wherever you go and you’ll receive a mobile alert when someone flirts with you. Zoosk won the award for the best Mobile Dating Site at the Internet Dating Conference this year and has consistently been a #1 dating app in the iPhone Store with over 1 million downloads. All of the functionalities from their website are available on the iPhone, iPod touch and iPad. Their GPS location tagging capabilities are a feature you’ll want to try out. They will be launching an Android app in the near future.
5. SKOUT - I’ve been following Skout since they laaunched the first-ever dating app for the iPhone in 2008. In July, 2010, they hit one million users. They have one of the most popular iPhone apps and operate like a flirting and hook-up GPS. Their iPhone app identifies singles in your immediate vicinity and gives you the opportunity to flirt and meet up with them. Though the app is free to use, members have the option of purchasing virtual gifts, premium memberships, or sending “wink bombs” which reach up to 500 potential sweethearts in your area at once.
6. eHarmony – Just in time for their 10th anniversary celebration, eHarmony recently launched their iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch service this summer. The app was listed in the Top Ten Free Apps in the App Store and they’ve had over 100,000 downloads. Members can view matches, receive match updates, upload photos from their iPhone, and communicate with their matches.
7. Are You Interested – AreYouInterested.com from Snap Interactive is an online dating site, mobile dating application, and Facebook app for single men and women with over 13 million members. Their service integrates their iPhone and Facebook applications together so you can browse photos of singles in your area and click on who you like. Their buzz feed shows you what people are up to in real time.
8. Grindr – Just this week, Grindr, the world’s largest all-male mobile location-based networking service, announced that it has reached more than one million subscribers. On a daily basis, Grindr has about 250,000 active users who log on approximately eight times per day. The average Grindr user spends an average of 1.3 hours each day using the app. These numbers are huge. On a weekly basis, they have about 400,000 users. This amounts to about 600,000 users per month. Grindr is available on the iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad. They have plans to expand their service on the Blackberry in the near future.
9. Flirtomatic – Mobile social network Flirtomatic is known as the world’s number one flirting company. Based in the UK, they have over 3 million global members. The good news for U.S. mobile daters, is their membership in the states recently surpassed 1 million users. You can set up your profile in about 20 seconds. Their service allows members to search, chat, send rapid messages, rate members and find user generated content about flirting and dating. Flirtomatic has its own virtual currency called “Flirt Points” that members can use to buy premium services, such as virtual goods. Their service is available on the iPhone and Android platforms.
10. Four Square – I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention location based social networking site Four Square. They aren’t a dating app, but we love them anyway and it’s surely fun to check in. You’ll need to be friends with other members on the service to see who’s around when you check in. If you’ve had a crush for a while on someone and you see they’re at the local coffee shop or at the same venue, you can use this as a chance to say hello and get to them better in real life. Available on the iPhone, Android, Blackberry, and Palm.
JDate Mobile - Launched this year, JDate Mobile allows their members to receive real-time mobile alerts notifying them when they receive new messages, when another member views their profile, adds them to their hot list and more for free. JDate Mobile features are 100% available for free to their subscribers. Available on the iPhone and Android. Non-paying members of JDate can download the app for free, but have limited access to JDate Mobile.
Christian Cafe - With over 400 new sign ups daily, Christian Cafe is now available for iPhone users. Their iPhone mobile dating app is fully integrated with their website and singles can sign up for a free trial, create a basic dating profile, search, see who is online in your area and communicate via email and winks. They are presently in development with their Android app.
Do you have a favorite mobile dating app that you’d like to share with us? We’d like to hear from you.
For a printable version, please click here>>>
Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, where Sherri Langburt, founder of SingleEdition.com shared her mission of creating a lifestyle site to help singles in many areas of their lives.
Sherri, herself, is an online dating success story. After 10 years of online dating, she met her husband on JDate.
Single Edition provides dating and relationship advice from experts, along with suggestions for traveling solo, as well as health and beauty advice.
Find out Sherri’s secrets on why her online dating profile led to her marriage and hear her inspiration for singles looking for love online.
Listen to the program where you will hear more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.