Online dating safety is something that everyone needs to be concerned with. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we take safety seriously and are always sharing ways for you to feel safe and enjoy the Internet dating experience.
In Louisiana, three stories occurred this month involving people who met online dating, social networking sites that resulting in hijacking and other crimes such as a robbery in a car.
In one case, a man went to his car to meet a potential date, and instead of finding the woman, ten men were there, which resulted in a carjacking.
I spent the morning on the radio on WWL AM/FM in New Orleans to provide dating safety tips to help prevent such occurrences.
While these occurrences are rare, it’s still important to point out the following, whether dating online or offline.
1. Meet in a public place and don’t pick up your date.
2. Don’t give out your last name or information where you work
3. Let a friend know where you are meeting and call in or text to let them know you’re fine
4. Don’t suggest a late night date
5. Never go back to someone’s home on a first date
6. Avoid drinking a lot of alcohol, which will impair your judgment
7. Carry pepper spray on your key chain for when you’re walking to your car at night
8. Conduct a Google search for your date’s name, phone number, and email addresss
9. View your date’s profile photos in a Google reverse image search by uploading it to Google.com/images
10. Do a background or people search for your date on sites such as Radaris or Spokeo
11. Set up a free Google voice account with a number exclusively for dating
12. If you’re uncomfortable for any reason, leave
13. If your date makes you feel unsafe online or offline, report their profile to the dating site
14. Take your time getting to know someone on the phone and through emails before meeting
15. Trust your intuition
Realize that while maybe 10% of your dates might not be truthful or may have ulterior motives, about 90% of the dates are truly great people looking to connect. There are millions of singles finding love online. Keep these safety tips in mind as you schedule your dates, but still enjoy the time getting to know someone.
For the past three years, OkTrends has gone into silence mode. Today, Rudder revealed data from their Internet dating user base showing that looks aren’t always what counts when it comes to communicating in an online dating site. Rudder announced, “We Experiment On Human Beings” as the title of the long-awaited post.
From OkCupid’s day of hiding photos, to suggestions of a higher percentage for a potential match, one thing we know for sure, the algorithms do have an impact while looking for love online.
Let’s take a look at the three different experiments.
1. Love is Blind, Or Should Be
On the 10th anniversary of OkCupid, they launched Crazy Blind Date, a mobile app. The basis of this was that you’d meet someone who’s face had been “mashed up” like a puzzle, so you didn’t know what they looked like. In celebration, OkCupid spent one day mashing up all of their members in an experiment, only to find that 44% of those wrote 1st messages to people, of which they had no idea what they looked like.
2. So What’s a Picture Worth?
OkCupid previously let users rate profiles based on looks and personality. Eventually, they changed it to rating based on looks only. What they found is that only 10% of people rated a profile based on it’s text. Does that mean that 90% of people rate profiles based on looks only? Understandably so. This is why all of the mobile dating apps have been so popular and game-like.
3. The Power of Suggestion
As a Digital Matchmaker, I spend hours-and-hours every day analyzing profiles to find the perfect match for my clients. They have to go by my word and recommendation to write to or respond to a flurry of potential dates because I strongly advised them to do so. This has resulted in singles dating outside their social circles and meeting men or women that they didn’t think was their type.
OkCupid seems to agree. By changing the suggested recommendations from one with a low match percentage to a higher match percentage, their users started to communicate with people that weren’t necessarily a match, based on the algorithms. Were they playing with your digital mind? Just a bit.
Time reports that Rudder will be back to business posting on the OkTrends blog every four weeks while waiting for his book Dataclysm: Who We Are to be released in September.
Are you rating profiles based on looks alone? Do percentages matter to you? Your comments are welcome.
Photo credit: Fotolia
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
In this video on Your Tango’s Quickie Series, we tackle the subject of the guy who only wants to text you for a date, or in between.
The problem many women have with this is they don’t want to fall into the category of booty call or be uncertain about their relationship status.
While I believe texting can be fun in a relationship, when your guy says, “Thinking of u” or you say “Can’t wait for your delicious kisses,” too many women complain that their boyfriends won’t pick up the phone and call.
Here’s the truth ladies: Most guys don’t really like to talk on the phone. They’ll call to make you happy, if you let them know it means a lot to you. Otherwise, get ready for showing up on a date after being sent a text with the date and time of your next rendezvous. Watch our video to help him go from casual to crazy about you, online and IRL.
But if you tell him the sound of his sexy voice helps you fall asleep with a smile on your face, you just might get this text-happy guy to pick up the phone.
Are you in a text only relationship?
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
The new you starts here at the Beverly Center Location on July 17th from 6p-8p.
Summer’s the perfect time to freshen up your look. Join us at bebe for Girls’ Night Out and a makeover that will grab attention online. You’ll get a flirty new style and personalized tips to use on your next date.
But that’s not all: Professionals from Sexy Hair will be styling hair for FREE! Grab the on-site photographer for a few “after” headshots to use in your dating profile!
Event treats include:
- Drinks and appetizers
- bebe’s summer clothing collection to try on
- Advice from dating coach Julie Spira, founder of Cyber-Dating Expert (Yes, that’s me!)
- 20% off all regular-priced merchandise purchased at event*
On Facebook or Twitter? Snap a selfie afterwards and share it with hashtag #sexysummer. RSVP today for only $10.
I look forward to seeing you there!
Ladies: Are you wondering how to shine online to attract more men? Are you spending time at the makeup counter before going on a date? Do you want to look like a celebrity on the Red Carpet or go with the natural look on a date?
Before you grab that lip plumper, know that online and offline attraction does vary according to the men.
In a recent survey by online dating site Zoosk, 1850 male daters were asked to compare photos of Kim Kardashian, Beyonce, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Lawrence, with and without makeup. Then they were asked how they felt about the women they date, with or without the glam. The results and disconnect between their online and offline behaviors will surprise you.
Surprisingly so, the majority of the guys stated that they preferred Jessica Alba, makeup free (77%) as compared to giving the thumbs up for Kim Kardashian, all glammed up. (23%).
While viewing photos of Jennifer Lawrence made up in “American Hustle” as compared to a natural look, Zooskers voted in favor of the natural look (54%) as compared to the American Hustle photo with bright red lipstick (46%).
When asked if Jessica Simpson looked better with or without makeup on, 57% of the men preferred her natural look.
So how does this relate to real life dating and mens thoughts on hair and makeup?
The survey shows that men prefer a natural look with the women they are dating. Fifty-seven percent of men gave the thumbs down to red lipstick and 67% weren’t fond of dark eye shadow.
When it comes to hairstyle, 81% voted for a relaxed and natural look, with only 9% preferring pin-straight hair. Does this mean it’s time to toss out the flat iron?
Now let’s take a digital look at how men select women while viewing thousands of online dating profiles.
Zoosk’s data shows the complete opposite viewpoint to hair and makeup, where men were dramatically selecting women wearing more makeup, more eye shadow, and more lipstick in their photos.
Here are some numbers worth blinking a digital eye to:
- Women who wear eye makeup receive 139% more first messages than women who don’t.
- Men are 65% more likely to want to meet a woman if she wears eye makeup in her profile picture.
- Women who wear lipstick in their profile photo get 119% more first messages than those who don’t.
- Men are 38% more likely to want to meet a woman if she’s wearing lipstick in her profile photo.
- Woman wearing blush receive 24% more first messages than those who don’t.
- Men are 19% more likely to want to meet a woman if she’s wearing blush than if she’s not.
All in all, women who wore some form of makeup received more than three times as many messages as those who didn’t.
It may not be time to dig out your prom or glamour shots, but taking the extra time to look your best in your photos instead of posting the ‘selfie’ from last night’s party might be a wise idea.
After all, you’re auditioning for the job of a lifetime; possible girlfriend or wife.
Ladies, do you prefer a more natural look sans makeup? Do you need help to look your best on a date? I’m here to help you. Find out more here.
Your thoughts and comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and coaches singles on the dating scene to help them find love online and IRL. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.
It’s with great enthusiasm to let you know that I’ve been asked to participate in the Los Angeles Great Love Debate on July 17th at the Pacific Design Center.
On July 17th
Over 400 of Southern California’s most dynamic singles will be at the
Silver Screen Theater @ Pacific Design Center
to take part in
WHY IS EVERYONE STILL SINGLE?
Don’t miss a night of guys, gals, great guests, giveaways… and pre & post show parties catered by Wolfgang Puck!
Tickets on sale at http://LoveLA.eventbrite.com
FIRST 50 PEOPLE TO USE PROMO CODE JS10 SAVE $10!
THIS EVENT WILL SELL OUT, NO TICKETS AVAILABLE AT THE DOOR!
Doors open at 6:30pm for cocktails, Showtime is 7:30pm
“Meet, Greet, Mix, Mingle, & Match” after-party immediately follows!
Register now with promo code JS10 to save $10 before it sells out!
See you there!
The good news is summer officially starts on Saturday, so you can celebrate the Summer Solstice all weekend long.
Here are ten of the best summertime first date ideas that won’t break the bank, nor will it put too much pressure on a date with someone new.
Happy dating and enjoy the sunshine!
1. Ride the Ferris Wheel.
Go to an amusement park and ride the Ferris Wheel or even the roller coaster, if you dare.
2. Find a free outdoor concert.
Bring a picnic meal and a blanket and take in the sounds of local artists. Some museums and parks actually have well-known musicians.
3. Watch an outdoor movie.
While drive-in theaters have become obsolete, the trend of watching movies on a big screen at a shopping center or local park has become all the rage.
Make sure to go grocery shopping together to spice up the date. Cooking together can be filled with laughter. Don’t forget to pick up chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers to make s’mores for dessert.
5. Go on a bike ride.
Make it more memorable by renting a bicycle built for two! Remember to take photos and of course, ask for permission before posting to Instagram.
6. Take a Beach Yoga Class.
Yoga is sexy on a date. Remember to bring your sunscreen. If you don’t live near a beach, check out the many outdoor classes in a park.
7. Take a cooking Class.
Stores such as Sur le Table nationwide have cooking classes on their calendar. If you can’t find one near you, check out the local universities and colleges or a MeetUp group for foodies.
8. Snack at the Food Trucks.
Many neighborhoods have a food truck day. Find out which day or night they’ll be parked in your neighborhood. From the healthy green truck to a spicy Mexican cuisine, there’s a favorite truck for every type of palate.
9. Go to a baseball game.
It’s the season for America’s favorite past time. Nibble on peanuts and Cracker Jack and enjoy the 7th inning stretch. Check the MLB.com website for dates and times. Not in a baseball city, find a minor league game near you.
10. Go to a zoo.
It’s fun to feed the animals at the zoo Take it a step further and walk into the petting zoo and spend time with the llamas and sheep.
Don’t forget to memorialize your fun outdoor date by snapping photos. Who knows, you just might end up with a nice kiss at the end of the date to add to your digital memory book.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs to help them find love offline.
Even though Father’s Day is a recent memory, it’s good to point out that single and divorced dads are quite active on online dating sites.
As a matter of fact, Match reports that 30% of their male subscribers are indeed single dads. PlentyofFish tells us that almost 45% of single men in the United States on their site who are between the ages of 30 and 50 are single dads!
So what’s the secret to blending your dating life and dating a single dad?
1. Communication. Talking about your relationship with your children is the most important part of dating a single or divorced parent. Some single dads have split schedules with their children and others are full-time dads. Some have children in college and some even have grandchildren. Talking about your schedules, when to introduce them to someone you’re dating and your long-term goals about staying single or blending a family should happen in the early stages of dating.
2. Tell, don’t post. While your kids are a priority, posting photos of them in your primary dating photo is not recommended. Instead, mention in the body of your profile the ages of your children and how important they are in your life.
3. Respect the calendar. Be understanding of his schedule. Remember, a single dad is juggling kids activities, carpooling the children back to their mother’s home, and possibly a demanding work schedule, while still trying to find time to date. When it comes to to big holiday events, you just might need to celebrate with him on a different date.
4. Love, but don’t parent. There should be an endless amount of love for all children, but when they aren’t your own, resist the urge to discipline and become a parent. Show them love and kindness and make sure it’s not your goal to steal his heart away from his children. It’s not a competition to see who ranks higher on the totem pole. It’s about adding joy to their lives, when the time is right.
The good news is that single dads are 46% more likely to meet someone on their dating site as compared to men without children, according to Match.
When are the guys most often searching for love online?
Match reports that single dads log on most often between 6:00am and 9:00am in the morning before their workday begins.
The good news is that more than half of single dads will email single moms than men without children. Single dads spend time in the trenches with their kids, so they will tend to be more empathetic to your family schedule as well.
Are you a single dad looking for love online?
Find out how our Irresistible Profiles can help you find your dream date.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and helps singles who are looking for love online and IRL. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
What’s more fun that finding love and going to a fun Hollywood party when you’re single?
Our friends at Cupid.com are hosting a screening for singles to the film Coherence in Los Angeles for some of their lucky members the night before it opens and they’ve asked us to spread the word for them!
In their Set Love Free promotion, Cyber-Dating Expert readers will get to attend this event for one of the best sci-fi films of the year.
If you sign up now and for tickets to the pre-screening of the Coherence movie, you also get invited to their private pre-party, with some cast members and free food and drinks.
About Coherence the movie:
On the night of an astrological anomaly, eight friends at a dinner party experience a troubling chain of reality bending events. Part cerebral sci-fi and part relationship drama, this film is a tightly focused, intimately shot film that quickly ratchets up with tension and mystery.
Watch the Trailer
Here are the details:
Where: Pre-Party: Good Luck Bar, 1514 Hillhurst Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90026; Screening: Vista Theatre, 4473 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA
When: Thursday, June 19, 2014; Party at 5:30pm, Screening at 7:30pm
Why: Because Cupid.com is launching in Los Angeles!
RSVP: http://www.evite.com/event/0355VMUVMIAQ6I7C6EPD3GX2XP5VBI before it fills up!
Cyber-Dating Expert is working with Cupid.com as a paid spokesperson for their #SetLoveFree program.
Did you know there are actual courses guys take to become a pick up artist?
The acronym is PUA and it’s more widespread than you think.
In this episode of YourTango Quickie series, I talk about the signs of a pick up artist.
Do you recognize any of these traits with the men you are dating?
1. He’s a smooth operator.
2. He’s a sexy and elusive guy.
3. He’s not always available.
4. He may rub the lower part of your back at the movies, but not take it further.
5. He’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear in a low seductive voice.
6. He’ll wear something goofy like a hat to be the center of attention.
7. He’ll exclude you from the conversation with your girlfriends.
8. He’ll mirror everything in your online dating profile to share your dreams and passions.
9. He’s good and strategic and knows how to take a woman to bed.
10. He’ll become your instant dream man, but will disappear once the chase is over.
Have you ever dated a PUA? Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating and is the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and help them date in the digital age. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.