In the News

#DateChat with Deeper Dating Author Ken Page

Julie DateChat 277x300

Join us for #DateChat on Thursday, February 19th at 5p/PT, 8p/ET with guest host Ken Page, author of the new book, Deeper Dating.

Ken will be discussing his new theories of finding love and successful dating that ditch the old school thought of looking prettier and playing hard to get.

It was an honor and joy to contribute to the online dating section of Ken’s new book.

He’ll also be giving away 2 FREE copies of his bestselling book to some lucky #DateChat participants.

If you’re Valentine’s Day was so-so or you were dateless, you won’t want to miss this week’s #DateChat.

Remember to follow @JulieSpira and @KenPageLCSW on Twitter!

Ready, Set, Tweet!

 

DateChatKenPage e1424215319985

Changing Your Zip Code for Love – 10 Best Dating Cities

Screen Shot 2015 02 17 at 1.37.10 PM e1424209074579

The beauty of online dating is that it’s available 24-hours a day and you can meet anyone from a neighbor with a mobile dating app to someone from another continent.

The fine folks at Zillow took a poll of the best cities to find love in 2015 by looking at locations with more than 250,000 residents.

This infographic below lists the best cities of eligible single men and women who could afford a night on the town based on:

  • The percentage of singles.
  • The percentage of singles who moved to town in the past year.
  • The median disposable income among single residents (median income minus median rent).
  • The number of restaurants, movie theaters and other date spots per capita.

Based on that data, the 10 best cities for love are:

  1. Washington, DC
  2. Atlanta
  3. Boston
  4. St. Louis
  5. Denver
  6. Pittsburgh
  7. Minneapolis
  8. Nashville
  9. San Francisco
  10. Raleigh

If your city isn’t on the list, perhaps it’s time to cast a wider net and expand your search by changing your zipcode.

If you’re in Washington, you’re in luck as that city ranks at the top of the list to find singles looking for love.

If you’re living in Los Angeles, why not seek out someone special in the Bay area? According to this list, San Francisco ranks at number 9 and is the only city on the west coast that made the list. If you can’t fathom even dating someone on another freeway, no need to fret.

Even though LA missed the top 10, the data shows it’s 58% single with 2.7% of that single population recently moving to town.  We measured the number of date spots per capita and LA has 33 date spots per every 10,000 people, which is pretty high comparatively. Date spots include: restaurants, bars, nightclubs, coffee shops, live music hangouts, theaters and parks. The final metric was disposable income, LA has a median disposable income of $7,570 – lower than all of the top-ranked cities.

Would you date someone in another city or state? Would you move for love?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

Blog Valentines2015 Zillow b 01 39d38d 324x1024

 

Valentine’s #DateChat Recap

Screen Shot 2015 02 13 at 11.24.56 AM e1423855538554

Many thanks to those who came out to join the digital party for our Valentine’s #DateChat on February 12th.

If you missed #DateChat, here’s our transcript and recap with some dating advice to help you through Valentine’s weekend.

Our topic was Valentine’s Day: Love it or Hate it?

Don’t forget to join us again for #DateChat every Thursday at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET, where we’ll talk about dating, love and romance in a digital world with guest hosts and to answer your burning dating questions.

Thanks to those who helped spread the word in avance @DearMrsD, @LindaSherman, @kellyseal, @dirtyinpublic, @brucesallan, @GenConnect @YourTango @YTExperts @lovecolumnist, @badonlinedates, @dressforthedate, @threedayrule, @serena, @lorimoreno, @carmeliaray, @mscheevious, @melanie360, @seltzerkimberly, @tomfoolerytm, @ProjectQuinn, @MikeLindstrom, @MyLifeonMatch.

Congratulations to Starbucks gift card winners Josh Mellman, Fatima Lora, and Asia McKenzie!

Here’s our Storify recap followed by our transcript highlighting some of our favorite tweets.

 

The Psychology Behind Online Dating

Screen Shot 2015 02 11 at 6.38.07 AM e1423662050467

Although online dating has been around for over 20 years, it’s no secret that online dating has become a pop-culture phenomenon over the last several years. Singles seem to be obsessed about their online dates and the quest for find their one in 40 million has become a daily activity.

According to a recent Pew study, online dating has lost much of its stigma – so much so that a majority of Americans now think that it’s a good way to meet people – See more at: http://www.elearners.com/online-degrees/psychology/psychology-of-online-dating/#sthash.4RbBRnpb.dpuf
According to a recent Pew study, online dating has lost much of its stigma – so much so that a majority of Americans now think that it’s a good way to meet people – See more at: http://www.elearners.com/online-degrees/psychology/psychology-of-online-dating/#sthash.4RbBRnpb.dpuf
According to a recent Pew study, online dating has lost much of its stigma – so much so that a majority of Americans now think that it’s a good way to meet people – See more at: http://www.elearners.com/online-degrees/psychology/psychology-of-online-dating/#sthash.4RbBRnpb.dpuf

According to a Pew Internet research study, the stigma of online dating has pretty much dissipated, with the majority of Americans thinking Internet dating is a good way to meet.

According to a recent Pew study, online dating has lost much of its stigma – so much so that a majority of Americans now think that it’s a good way to meet people – See more at: http://www.elearners.com/online-degrees/psychology/psychology-of-online-dating/#sthash.4RbBRnpb.dpuf

In fact, in 2011 Match.com reported that one in five relationships start online. While it may seem like a simple process- upload a photo, write a little bit about yourself and then find people who you “match” with- the psychology behind it is very interesting.

Mobile dating apps are all the rage with 66% of online daters saying they’ve gone on a date with someone they’ve met through a mobile app.

Here are some interesting facts you might not be aware of.

Evolutionary Psychology of Online Dating

One area of psychology that can be connected to online dating is evolutionary psychology. Evolutionary psychology attempts to explain useful mental and psychological traits, including perception of others.

Physical Attractiveness

As humans, we have a tendency to attribute positive characteristics like intelligence or honesty to those who we think are physically attractive. Evolutionary psychologists have argued that this may be because physical characteristics can be indicative of fertility and health, which are important to our survival and reproduction as a species.  Research has also shown that couples tend to be similarly matched in attractiveness.  In most cases, people determine whether a potential partner is attractive, evaluate whether they would be categorized as more, less or equally attractive and then decide whether to move forward based on this information. It’s all about psychology, people!

Lying and Deception

Another interesting topic regarding the evolutionary psychology of online dating is the topic of lying and deception. While 94% of online daters deny their profile contains any false advertising, I think most people can attest to the fact that that number is inflated. Why do people feel the need to lie on their profiles? And what type of repercussions could this have on their dating life when their date finds out about the fibs?
To learn more about the psychology behind online dating, check out this infographic from eLearners.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Valentine’s Survival Guide

valentineslogo

This Valentine’s Day falls on a long holiday weekend and comes complete with a full moon, so if you’re thinking about leaning in for that first kiss, don’t be shy. A full moon can bring out the romance just about any time of the year.

We’re back with our Valentine’s Survival guide, complete with social media etiquette, fun date ideas, and are proud to share out latest interview in the New York Times about Tinder and mobile dating apps to ramp up your search to find that perfect Valentine.

Read: Led by Tinder, the Mobile Dating Game Surges in the New York Times

With out further digital ado, here are some of our articles and dating tips to bring the love back in your life, or at least make sure that you’re not hiding under the covers on a holiday weekend.

 

Fotolia 48108645 XSTen Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

From riding the Ferris Wheel to a scavenger hunt, find out why in-room-dining at home can be one of the most romantic ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day, regardless of your relationship status.

smoochthumbnail 238x300

 

Would You Text an Ex on Valentine’s Day? 20% Said Yes!

Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Social Media Rules for a Happy Valentine’s Day

From Twitter to Facebook, Pinterest to Instagram, find out what to post, or not to post on your favorite social networks.

DON’T: Tag your new boyfriend on Facebook. Chances are he hasn’t told his buddies and work pals about his Valentine’s plans.

DO: Post a photo if you’ve received flowers, a fun gift, or of the dessert at dinner. Everyone loves to view the photos and will cheer you on with ‘likes.’

DON’T: Post your Happy Valentine’s message on your date’s wall. Saying you can’t wait until the evening together should remain private. Remember, a simple post may be innocent. However your friends might wonder what kind of wild night the two of you will be having. Or worse yet, his ex-girlfriend might start posting inappropriate comments to ruin your evening.

DO: Send a digital gift, such as his or her favorite band on iTunes, an e-card, or a redeemable gift card to a store or restaurant.

DON’T: Send a musical montage of ‘I Love You’ songs if you haven’t said those three little words yet.

DO: Ask for permission before you post anything online. Remember you’re creating a permanent digital footprint and your status and photos can be shared, even by people you don’t know.

DON’T: Overshare. Remember, many of your friends are single and may not be enjoying the day.

DO: Make an exciting announcement. If you become engaged on Valentine’s Day, your friends will want to know.

DON’T: Change your Facebook relationship status to ‘In a Relationship’ until both of you have had the talk and agree to be on the same digital page.

Do you have any social media rules for Valentine’s Day?

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam this Valentine’s.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and join us for #DateChat on Thursdays at 5pm/PT on Twitter.

 

#DateChat Debut – Valentine’s Day. Love It or Hate It?

Screen Shot 2015 02 08 at 11.54.49 AM e1423421730727

Come one, come all to the Valentine’s session of #DateChat on Twitter.

On Thursday, February 12, 2015 we will tackle the subject of Valentine’s Day.

Questions we will be covering include:

Valentine’s Day. Do you love it, or hate it?

How to Handle Valentine’s Day if you’re in a new relationship?

Valentine’s Gift giving.

Can you still find a date for Valentine’s Day?

How to handle a Valentine’s breakup?

What was your best Valentine’s Day ever?

What was your worst Valentine’s Day ever?

Would you text an ex for Valentine’s Day?

Friends that will be joining us include Dr. Wendy Walsh, America’s Relationship Expert @DrWendyWalsh,  Bruce Sallan, founder of #DadChat @BruceSallan, and Mark Miller, author of “500 Dates.”

If you’re single, are a dating blogger, or just want to hang out in a fun chat filled with dating advice, join us for #DateChat on Thursday at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET and make sure to head over to #DadChat at 6pm/PT, 9pm/ET where we continue the conversation about Valentine’s Day with Bruce Sallan.

Ready, set, and let’s tweet for your Valentine.

Sample tweets:

Join @JulieSpira for #DateChat on 2/12, 5p/PT, 8p/ET for #Valentines tips #dating http://www.cyberdatingexpert.com/datechat-valentines/

Don’t miss #DateChat on Thursday 2/12 at 5pm/PT for what to get your #Valentine http://www.cyberdatingexpert.com/datechat-valentines/

#ValentinesDay. Love it or hate it? Join @JulieSpira for #DateChat to tweet-and-tell 2/12. 5p/PT, 8p/ET http://www.cyberdatingexpert.com/datechat-valentines/

Why Mobile Dating Apps and Tinder are Hot

Fotolia 51346773 XSThis Valentine’s Day, the media is all a buzz about rise in popularity of mobile dating apps.

Recently at the iDate Conference, I presented Tinder with the award of Best Mobile Dating App of 2015.

This award was well-deserved, considering two years ago, Tinder wasn’t a household word like Match and eHarmony has been for years for online daters.

In an interview with The New York Times, I told reporter Molly Wood  that the increase in smartphone usage directly relates to the increase in dating app usage.

“People are dating on the fly, they’re dating in real time, they’re hooking up or meeting for dates, they’re doing both. Same day, same hour.”

Read: Lead by Tinder, a Surge in Mobile Dating Apps in the New York Times

So how did a perceived hook-up app become the hottest trend for singles looking for love online?

1. They penetrated the college marketplace.

These early adopters paved the way for others to jump on the bandwagon. In time, the demographics started to rise and millions of users were playing the Tinder game.

2. They made it easy to create a profile.

With no long questions to answer and no profile approval process, all one has to is download the app, connect to Facebook where it pulls your age and photos on Facebook, and add a short bio if you desire, however many ignore filling out the profile.

3. Set your preferences for distance and age parameters

Since Tinder is location-based, once you log on, it searches for potential matches close by. If you travel out of town, you’ll receive a whole new set of matches to make sure you’re not lonely at night.

4. Let the swiping and matching begin

Quite simply, you swipe right if you’re attracted to someone and swipe left if you’re not. If both of you swipe right, then you’re notified that you’re a match and can start communicating in their private chat feature.

Online dating and mobile dating are a numbers game. The more often you swipe, the more often you’ll have the opportunity to be matched.

5. State Your Intentions

We are living in a world of swiping left and right and the habit has become the norm for other popular mobile dating apps. In order to be successful on Tinder, you must start swiping and become proactive about communicating with your matches. If you’re looking to find a relationship instead of a casual fling, you must fill out the information bio page and clearly state your dating intentions. Women find it refreshing when a man says, “Not looking for FWB or a hookup.”

At the iDate conference, it was pointed out by Mark Brooks from Courtland Brooks that only 8% of women were swiping right while viewing profiles of men. Men on the other hand were swiping right as often as possible, with the hopes that they can be matched.

Tinder reports over 1 billion swipes a day and matches over 12 million people a day. But are they actually meeting IRL?

An interesting trend that we are noticing is that a lot of men are posting their age on Tinder as 100 years old. The trend of not honestly stating your age in online dating has been around for years, but to become a centurion on Tinder means you’ll have to change your age on your Facebook profile. There’s no way to change your age on Tinder. Facebook makes it difficult to change your age and discourages this process by limiting the amount of times you can do so. Still, I encourage truth-in-advertising.

Related: How to Change Your Age on Tinder

As I told The New York Times, people who are using Tinder are also using other dating sites, sometimes paying for memberships. Having easy access to lots of different dates actually increases your odds of eventually finding a match. It’s making dates happen a lot more quickly and the more dates you go on, the better daters you become. Let mobile dating apps become your new best friend.

Are you swiping right on multiple mobile dating apps?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating. Julie’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT. Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Photo credit: Fotolia

Dating in a Digital World

Screen Shot 2015 02 04 at 8.57.06 AM e1423069577136

It’s official! Singles are so attached to their mobile phones, that the sound of the chirping at night will actually wake them up to find out if their digital crush is sending a good night text saying, “Sweet dreams” to help them sleep better.

In the 5th Annual Singles in America Study released by Match, they focus on digital dating habits of 5,675 singles in the U.S. between the ages of 18 to 70+.

The study showed that singles looking for love online go on more dates than those who meet in bars or offline with online daters going on an average of 4.2 dates in 2014, as compared to offline daters who went on an average of 2.8 dates.

According to the study, 82% of singles went on a date in 2014 with someone they met online, as compared to 49% of those who were dating offline. The study also stated that online daters are looking for a more committed relationship, are more likely to be more educated, and have full time jobs.

While this makes a lot of sense with the huge dating pool and the focused activity of logging on daily to look for a date, as compared to going out organically, it reinforces what we already know: Online dating is efficient. It’s available 24-hours a day and if you take advantage of the matching features of many dating sites, you will be able to fill up your date card.

Since 60% of singles log onto social networking sites for an average of one-hour per day, start liking the posts of someone you might have a digital crush on, remember to use spell-check and grammar check,  and mind your texting manners to capture his or her heart.

Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Men to Women

1. Do post photos

2. Don’t text more than once before a reply

3. Do post sexy texts

4. Don’t text during work hours

5. Do post emoticons

6. Don’t post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)

Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Women to Men

1. Do post photos

2. Don’t post sexy texts

3. Do post emoticons

4. Don’t post sexy photos

5. Do post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)

6. Don’t text more than once before a reply

Full report and details at SinglesinAmerica.com

Screen Shot 2015 02 04 at 8.52.59 AM

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profile over 20 years ago. Julie’s the host of #DateChat on Thursdays at 5pm/PT on Twitter and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Why the Super Bowl For Men is Like Valentine’s For Women

superbowlTwo of the most important days of the year for men and women respectively are Super Bowl Sunday and Valentine’s Day. This weekend is sacred for most American men. It’s showtime, as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year, Super Bowl Sunday.

As we countdown to  Super Bowl XLIX in Arizona, whether you’re rooting for the Seattle Seahawks again or the New England Patriots, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike. Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.

Some questions I always hear from women are, “Do men hate Valentine’s?” Guys want to know, “Do women really love the Super Bowl halftime show, or do they show up enthusiastically to meet men or to pretend to like sports with them?

I’ve gone on record as saying the Valentine’s Day for Women is like the Super Bowl for Men.

These two calendar days are about two weeks apart, so enjoy the ride. Guys, don’t wait until the last minute to invite the object of your affection or digital crush out for Valentine’s Day. Ladies, if you’re single, do find a Super Bowl party to go to or make a reservation at a sports bar to enjoy the day.

Meanwhile, across the hall or on your mobile phone, women have their own favorite holiday to think about, Valentine’s Day.

Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women? Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, or anytime thereafter.

Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say ‘I love you’ for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship.’

Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue and with whom they would like to spend watching the big game. In January, many women start giving little hints about their favorite romantic restaurants, hoping their guy will take the cue and book a reservation before the venue becomes full.

However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau or someone she is dating doesn’t ask her out for Valentine?s Day, she won’t get over it. She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her number one guy will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.

So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.

Go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, our special 15 Magic Minutes is going on through Valentine’s Day.

And speaking of Valentine’s Day, here are some gift ideas to embrace and those Valentine’s gifts to ignore.

Related: Social Media Rules for Valentine’s Day

Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs.  For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Dating Ideas for a Snowstorm

snowstorm 300x300It was hard news story this week.

People panicked to fill up their pantries with food and water for the first blizzard of 2015. #Snowmageddon was heading to the east coast with record anticipated snowfall from New York to Boston. Before mass transit ceases to a halt, singles who have filled their date cards are probably wondering whether to cancel their dates or not.

While the snowstorm was milder than expected,  if you’re going to be snowbound at all this winter,  here are some ways to have fun with your date or still feel attached until it’s safe to go out and play again.

1. Go on a Skype or FaceTime Date

Still have electricity or a full battery on your computer? Get dressed up with what you’d wear on a date, remember to put on your lipstick ladies, and both of you grab a glass of wine or bubbly for the occasion. Log on and have a virtual date rather than canceling.

2. Answer these 36 Love Questions

A Modern Love column on the New York Times reads, To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This. These questions from Psychologist Dr. Aron suggest they can help you fall in love with anybody. Some questions include: Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life and Tell your partner something that you like about them. This exercise should help you get to know each other better and has been known to be responsible for some marriages.

Not sure if that’s realistic or not? Why not give it a try.

3. Binge Watch on Netflix

Snuggled up with your date? Why not spend the day or evening binge watching some romance on Netflix if you can’t be at work. From House of Cards to Scandal and New Girl to Madmen, you’ll be bonding with your sweetie and won’t be able turn off the TV.

4. Build a Snowman

If you can make it to his or her home, bundle up and go outside to build a snowman or make a snow angel. It’s playful and will bring you back to your youth. In between, indulge with a snowball fight or two.

5. Create an Indoor Scavenger Hunt

If the geography and transportation allow you to keep your scheduled date, a great way to make it fun and flirty is to create a treasure or scavenger hunt in your home. To do this, place romantic clues in envelopes around your house and number them. At each location, there will be a love note with suggestions for a kiss, a back rub, a foot massage, or whatever your imagination will allow.

6. Write a Traditional Love Note.

If your electricity is out and the battery life has expired on your mobile phone, light a candle and grab and pen and paper. It’s time to get traditional and draft a hand-written love note. When you get together for your rescheduled date, hand him or her an envelope to open. You’ll be surprised how it will be received.

Will you be canceling your dates or be taking a digital approach to stay in touch?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.  For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter and join the conversation on #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 8pm/ET.

Photo credit: Fotolia

« Previous PageNext Page »