In the News

Cyber Love Song – Blue Sky, Allman Brothers

Fotolia 22081778 XS 150x150Happy Music Monday.

It’s time to put the digital DJ hat on and select a romantic love song for the week.

Today the Allman Brothers announced that they will be retiring. This band from Macon Georgia has been playing music for over four decades.

We’re pleased to share one of our favorites, just in time for the warm weather.

So grab your loved ones and turn up the volume to Blue Sky and smack a kiss on the lips and say, “You’re my Blue Sky, You’re My Sunny Day.”

What’s your favorite summer romance song? Listen to our other Cyber Love Songs.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the founder of Cyber- Dating Expert. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and helps singles find their one in 4o million.

Is Your Date a Catfish? [Video]

YTScreenshotcatfishing 300x165In this episode of YourTango’s Quickies, the question was asked, “What is ‘Catfishing’ and how do you know if your online date is for real or is a digital pen pal?”

For those of you who watch the MTV series, ‘Catfish,’ you might be familiar with this scenario.

Imagine if you met your dream guy online or on a social media site. You spend hours and hours a day chatting online and through instant messenger, but you haven’t taken your relationship offline?

Is he or she stalling or is there someone else behind that photo and computer keyboard?

Here are some signs to look out for while dating online.

1. A Catfish is someone who creates a completely different persona online than who they are offline.
2. You may hear his or her voice, but you never have the chance to meet IRL.
3. You believe you’re in a relationship, but you may be in love with the possibilities of a future with him or her.
4. Your date sends photos that look too good to be true; almost too perfect like a stock image photo.
5. You ask your date to set up a video date on SKYPE or Facetime, but they come up with excuses why they can’t.
6. Your date schedules and cancels dates repeatedly with excuses of work, love, or medical problems.

Tips if You Think You’re Dating a Catfish

If you aren’t sure if your date is for real or not, use Google Image search and upload their profile photo to see if their photo appears anywhere else on the Internet.

At the end of the digital day, remember to trust your intuition, take your time and make sure you have the opportunity to meet the person in real life if you really want a relationship.

Are you dating someone online that you haven’t met offline? Share your story here.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and helps singles select the best dating sites, mobile apps, and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Weekly Flirt – Mobile Dating and Love Edition

Screen Shot 2014 04 07 at 11.05.56 AM e1396894116816

 

The Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt is now ready for your reading pleasure.

In this issue, we talk about everything mobile. From the girl who can’t get her boyfriend to take down his Tinder profile, to Match.com’s new Match 3.0 mobile app to Hinge mobile dating.

Find out why everyone is swiping right and swiping left these days to find a date, a friend, or even more.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for more on dating, love, and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

Sign up here for future issues of our Weekly Flirt.

 

A Conversation With Tinder Co-Founder Justin Mateen

juliejustin2 293x300

Julie Spira and Tinder’s Justin Mateen

Tinder-mania is everywhere it seems.

Tinder’s mobile app launched in Los Angeles less than two years ago, and it’s quickly becoming a household name.

Even Bravo’s Andy Cohen recently taught Larry King how to use Tinder!

At the recent Digital Hollywood gathering in Los Angeles, Tinder co-founder Justin Mateen was on a panel called, “The Coveted Captive audience – Engaging And Monetizing Through Mobile.”

Afterwards, I had the chance to catch up with Justin again to talk about the latest trends for Tinder.

Read: Dating in a Tinder World

The Future of Tinder

Tinder, as we know, has become the hottest mobile dating app, now experiencing over ten million matches a day and 800 million swipes per day.

“I think the misconception is that Tinder is a dating app,” said Justin Mateen – Tinder’s Co-Founder and Chief Marketing Officer during the session. “We consider ourselves a social discovery app, more of a competitor to social platforms,” Mateen added.

Tinder is now optimizing to connect new people. Mateen feels the value proposition is tremendous, which is why they’ve been able to grow so quickly. People are using Tinder for dating for the most part, but as time goes on, Tinder won’t be optimized only for dating.

“We are our own social platform and leverage other social platforms to the sense that it makes sense,” said Mateen. He boasted about Tinder’s 2000% growth last year. The average Tinder user spends ½ hour on the mobile app and they are growing by 10 times every day.

As of now, Tinder is not charging for their app or providing advertising. Their monetization strategy includes focusing on the user experience and growing the user base both domestically and Internationally. Their future plan will include in app purchases to enhance the user experience when it comes time to monetize. Mateen explained that their plans are to begin to test different forms or advertising on Tinder. “We want to make sure that it’s an organic ad and that our users can benefit from it.”

Not a day goes by when someone doesn’t come up to me to ask me about my thoughts on Tinder.

Related: Help My Boyfriend Won’t Take His Tinder Profile Down

Several men I know of have actually felt distressed when they’ve swiped left instead of right and felt that they lost the match. Fortunately, Tinder has come up with a solution for that dilemma as the app provides a pop-up asking you if you’re sure you want to swipe left.

Others are in relationships and still won’t retire their Tinder profile. Is it a game?

Are you using Tinder?

Watch: ABC News – Mobile Apps to Speed Up Your Search

Julie Spira is an online dating and mobile dating expert. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating, having created her first profile over 20 years ago. Julie’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and coaches singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

Help: My Boyfriend Won’t Take his Tinder Profile Down

radioshowlogo3 150x150Dear Cyber-Dating Expert

I met my boyfriend on Tinder about 6 weeks ago and we decided to date exclusively after three weeks. Neither of us took our Tinder profiles down, but he wasn’t logging on to his and I was still logging on out of curiosity to see who was on Tinder, but not chatting with anyone.

After a week of him giving me grief for having an active Tinder profile, I finally took his down and showed him the screen shot of me doing so. I thought he’d be excited to hear the news, but instead, he decided to keep his profile up.

Now, I’m the unhappy one, as I can’t understand why he’d make me take my profile down while he’s still an active member of Tinder. I’m starting to get frustrated and am wondering if we should break up. Every time I see him staring at his mobile phone, I think he’s looking for another girlfriend. What do you think?

Tinder Frustrated.

Dear TF,

There are a lot of singles who are in relationships who are still attached to their Tinder mobile dating app. Since it’s known as a social discovery app, many people are chatting with potential friends. Even a man recently posted a profile as a golden retriever dog to chat with people. I can understand that since you met on Tinder, that you should both probably have removed your profiles at the same time. It’s not fun being pressured to take your profile down when your boyfriend won’t do the same in return for you. Sure you should have toasted together and pulled the plug on your profiles at the same time, but since that didn’t happen, ask your BF how he would feel if suddenly you put your profile back up on Tinder.

Chances are he won’t be that happy about it, but if he says he doesn’t mind, it might be time to start dating others and reactivate your profile. During this time, you can still date your BF, but let him know you’re no longer exclusive. Which means, I suggest you keep your clothes on until both of you are on the same digital page. While it might seem harsh and hard to turn back the wheel, you’ll know where you stand in your relationship.

Keep me posted. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Cyber Love Song – Let My Love Open The Door

Fotolia 22081778 XS 150x150Happy Music Monday!

It’s time to put the digital DJ hat back on.

Today is Pete Townshend’s birthday. He’s the lead guitarist from a great classic rock band, The Who.

To celebrate his birthday and Music Monday, we’re featuring a sweet romantic song from one of his solo albums, Let My Love Open the Door —to your heart for our Cyber Love Song of the Week.

Enjoy!

Click here for more Cyber Love Songs.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Puppy Love: Single Man Poses as Dog on Tinder

TinderPuppyLove 206x300When I received an email from the Daily Mail letting me know that a San Francisco man posed as a 26-year old dog named “Hero” on Tinder, I had to chuckle. After all, a dog is man’s best friend and every girl is looking for her hero.

Still since Justin Mateen, co-founder of Tinder believes that their mobile app is a social discovery app and not a mobile dating app, I wasn’t surprised that this social experiment was received as a breath of fresh barking air. The responses flooded in from both women and men within a 100-mile radius.

READ: DATING IN A TINDER WORLD

It’s a social networking experience, and people love pets, so it was certainly a way for the profile to stand out among the millions of other profiles that users are swiping right and left to. “Hero” a golden retriever, replied to curious swipers with a “woof woof” and “bark bark” with an occasional wagging of his tail.

After seven days as a male dog, Joe Veix posted that had 206 matches—154 guys and 52 girls. All of his responses were “woof woof” and occasional digital barking. When he switched to a female dog, the comments became a bit riskier.

Tinder is known to be fun and flirty. Like a game, so many people who have downloaded the Tinder mobile app spend hours-and-hours a day swiping right just to strike up a conversation with so many that they may or may not meet IRL.”

Rather than saying, ‘hey’ or ‘what’s up’ the “Hero” puppy profile allowed users of the app to have a bit of fun and laughter while responding to the barks from the dog profile.

READ: IF MISS USA IS ON TINDER, SHOULD YOU BE?

Tinder now claims 10 million matches a day and over 800 million swipes a day. Users are logging on for more than 1.5 hours a day. Will the future of Tinder fall into the hands of your four-legged pets?

I think it’s just a matter of time, before we’ll see a viral cat video on Tinder.

WATCH: MOBILE APPS TO SPEED UP YOUR SEARCH

Are you dating on Tinder? Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the host of Mobile Dating BootCamp and helps singles find love on the Internet and IRL. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

How to Improve Your Online Dating Profile

ProfileCritique 150x150So you've got a few profiles up on various online dating sites, but you're noticing that your inbox is on the empty side. What's a single dater to do? We know that most people weren't born to be copyrighters and writing about yourself is often uncomfortable. You just can't express that witty and unique personality while typing on your mobile phone or computer and are pulling your hair out, while your date card isn't filling up. If you feel this way, you're not alone.

When a lovely attractive single woman reached out to me on Twitter needing help with her profile, it didn't take long to see why she wasn't meeting quality men online. She was smart and adorable, but the men couldn't notice that while swiping and scrolling the site. Here are the ways we've improved her profile.

Read: How to Create the Best Online Dating Profile

1. Word Count – While this dating profile was fun and flirty, it was way too long. I always say, "leave the novel at home." With 5 paragraphs and 423 words in the About Me, section, it was more than her potential dates would ever read. Plus, it's always good to leave your date wanting more.

Suggestion: Reduce the word count to 125-150 words.

2. Post 3-5 photos. This profile had an adorable primary photo shot wearing hot pink. It was close to perfect, except there were no additional photos. Daters’ are accustomed to scrolling through a series of photos to get a digital snapshot of who they might be interested in. While this dater had a very active lifestyle, was in great shape and loved to run, there were no full-length body shots or activity shots included on the profile. Men jump to the default position of thinking that a woman without a full-length body shot is out-of-shape. 

Suggestion: Add 2 more photos. One while running a triathalon and the other with a full length shot to show off her figure.

3. Ditch the negative comments. Profiles should be upbeat and positive. Think as if you're having a perfect hair day, only it's a perfect profile day. When you're advertising about your flaws, your potential date will believe that you are indeed flawed and will look elsewhere. In this profile, it read as follows: 

I’m always singing in the car, but I don’t know any of the words to the songs I always listen to. 

 

I once waited in line with a bunch of four year olds just to get a picture of Winnie the Pooh because he’s my favorite – and felt awkward the entire time.

 

I am actually capable of being serious when needed. But only if I really have to.

Descriptions such as these needed to go. After all, how can you be singing in a car, but not know any words? Why would anyone want to date someone who might be awkward?

Suggestion: Keep it to positive and alluring descriptions. After all, don't you want to be the girl he or she just has to meet? 

4. Express YOUR voice. Dating profile should be all about you! Potential dates don't want to hear how your friends or family members describe you. They aren't interested going out on a date yet with your extended family or girlfriend network.

Suggestion: Dump the cliche and let your dates know about you from the first-person. Think about how you might describe yourself on a phone call with a date and make it fun and conversational.

At the end of the digital day, your profile should be a unique snapshot with the goal of starting a conversation online and moving your relationship offline IRL.

Do you need some hand holding with your online dating life? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for more online dating advice.

Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating who coaches singles on the dating scene. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Photo credit: Fotolia

What to Do When He Pulls Back

pullback 300x225Dating issues seem to be coming in themes these days.

In the past week, three women have come to me with the same dating dilemma. They’ve met terrific guys online. One on OkCupid, another on Tinder, and one on JDate. All three men are super-successful and are very driven in their careers. They’re the guys who are too busy to be players and truly want to be in a monogamous relationship.

In all three scenarios, the men have asked the woman for exclusivity. Sounds great, right? Well, not exactly.

One woman has been dating a terrific guy, whom she met on Tinder. After six weeks they had the conversation about becoming exclusive. They both projected to the future. The problem is, she’s lower on the totem pole, as his work is a priority. The more she tried to spend time with him and fill his calendar with fun events, the more he pulled away. Eventually, he started spending weekends without her, even though there was no one else he was interested in.

The second woman met a great guy on OkCupid, whom she thinks is her soul mate. They’ve both said they’re in love with each other, but after six months of dating, he still focuses on his work and children on the weekends. The more frustrated she gets with the situation, the more distant he becomes. She sees a future with him, someday. But today, she’s walking on eggshells. What should she do?

The third woman met a fabulous guy on JDate. He told her on the second date that he thought he was falling in love with her and saw her in his future. He wanted to see her every night, until one day when he stopped returning her calls and texts. She’s devastated. She thought he was ‘the one.’

If you can relate to any of these situations, you’re not alone.

All three of these guys were building their castles and were defining their success as a man based upon their career success. While juggling children from a prior marriage, a busy career, and girlfriend, the girlfriend ended up in last place. It wasn’t that these guys weren’t crazy about the women they adored. They would do anything for them… if it was on their schedule. They were doing the pull back and these women were hurting at the sudden change of heart.

Between rebuilding from a divorce, keeping a family together, maintaining a career path to provide for financial success for the women, they couldn’t juggle it all. The more the women pushed to be with them, the more they pulled away. It’s the ever-so-common pull back and it’s gut-wrenchingly painful when it’s happens to you.

Ladies: When guys are in work mode, you’ll probably hear from them less.

There’s no need to stress and think it’s over.

My suggestion to all three of them, and to you if this is happening in your life, was to let them build their castle. Be at their side when it’s convenient for you. Don’t send text messages asking what’s wrong, or you’ll run the risk of pushing him away, period. No guy wants to feel like he’s dating his nagging ex-wife. Also, when a guy starts to fall in love with you, he gets scared. There are a lot of reasons for this. Before they make that commitment that seems to be permanent, they might want to view other profiles of singles on a dating site, even if they have no desire to go out on a date. They may fear never having sex with another woman again. A lot of thoughts go through their minds. As they’re processing all of these emotions, they often pull away.

I know it doesn’t seem right. If he’s crazy about you, he should want to be with you, right? Women are built to multitask. It’s in their DNA. Men are most often single focused, and when they’re in career mode, they’re thinking about work and closing the next deal or hoping to get a raise. When they’re with their kids, they’re in parent mode. When they’re with you, they’ll adore every moment of being with you.

Understand that you’re not playing a game. You’re just letting the man lead, which is in their DNA. If you ever feel that your needs aren’t being met at all, then by all means, have a conversation about it, but don’t beat it to death or give ultimatums.  It’s your decision to stay in any relationship. Men will come and go as rubber bands and often they’ll just need the space to be in their caves from time-to-time.  It’s really OK, if they come back to you. In time, your relationship will develop into a groove and you won’t have to worry if he forgets to send you a good morning text. Perhaps he’s just busy. It doesn’t mean you’re not on his mind. Give him his space and if you truly are ‘the one,’ he’ll return without even realizing he’s been gone.

Have you experienced the pull-back in a relationship? Your comments are welcome.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Photo credit: Fotolia

Hinge Mobile Dating – Finding Love With Facebook Friends

Screen Shot 2014 05 04 at 6.58.50 PM 300x217As mobile dating apps continue to be the hot new way for singles to find love online, daters are swiping right to connect on a variety of mobile dating apps. The message is very clear. The success of finding love online is all in the hands of your mobile phone

In a recent interview, I spoke with ABC News in Los Angels about the landscape of mobile dating [see video below].

Enter Hinge, a free mobile dating app which helps you find dates based upon which Facebook friends you have in common. The best way that I can describe Hinge is Tinder MEETS Linkedin.

The concept makes sense as singles have become accustomed to swiping on Tinder, the mobile app now responsible for over 10 million matches a day and 800 million swipes per day.

Where Tinder gives you unlimited matches based upon your location, Hinge selects 10 matches served to you at noon each day. If you refer your friends to join Hinge, the number of matches will increase.

How Hinge Works

Hinge takes your Facebook profile photos, age, work information, and other data that you’ve provided, so other singles will see exactly who you are, without having to do an extensive Google search or background search.

Hinge users are 99% college educated, and most popular industries include banking, consulting, media and fashion. The average user has 36 friends on Hinge and 90% are between 23-36. Hinge has made over 2 million matches and just celebrated the first engagement.

Hinge just launched in Los Angeles with a party in West Hollywood at Greystone Manor with 500 of their 7000 Los Angeles singles who were on the wait-list. ABC 7′s Elex Michaelson reported on the event, along with my analysis below.

10317625 10152410832457363 4266982360076646007 o 207x300Who’s using mobile dating apps?

It should be no surprise, that online daters are now spending more time on dating apps than they do on the sites themselves. IBISWorld reports that by 2018, more than 80 percent of the population will own a smartphone (up from 46 percent in 2012). A recent Pew Research study reported that 29% of cell owners describe their cell phone as ?something they can?t imagine living without.?

eHarmony reports that some users log on over 15-20 times a day using their mobile dating app with over 50% registering from their mobile phones. Their mobile app has been downloaded over 9 million times, with 57% of their app users who are male and 43% who are female.

Match just released Match 3.0, a completely redesigned mobile app for iOs. They report that half of their users are joining Match through a mobile device and more than 50% of the emails exchanged on Match.com are sent from a mobile device.

Read: Match.com Gets Digital Facelift With Launch of New Mobile App

POF founder Markus Frind tells me that they have tens of millions of users on their mobile dating app. “Between the apps and just mobile web use we are at 90% mobile,” said Frind. “When it comes to online dating using a website isn’t something that most people do anymore. It’s all about the phone,” Frind added.

Hinge is now available in 9 cities in the United States including Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles, New York City, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Washington, DC.

At the end of the digital day, finding love from the convenience of your mobile phone has become a part of everyday life for most single who are looking for love online.

Are you using mobile dating apps?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. Julie was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

« Previous PageNext Page »