In a Harris Interactive study, commissioned by eHarmony, the new statistics show that over 1/3 of recent marriages have actually met online. This clearly shows that more people are interested in finding a serious relationship through a digital connection. The findings were published in the journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The study, titled “Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues,” is based on a survey of almost 20,000 people who wed between 2005 and 2012.
Just how much more satisfied are these relationships? On a scale of 1-10, relationships from online dating ranked 5.64 as compared to offline relationships at 5.48. Of those who met online, 45% met in a traditional online dating site and almost 21% met on a social networking site.
To be successful in online dating, I believe that you need to be very specific in what you’re looking for. More-and-more people are joining online dating sites for the first time, due to divorce, death of a spouse, or relationships running their course.
Earlier this year, we launched Facebook Love Stories to focus on the large amount of couples who are finding love through social networking sites.
So does online dating work? It certainly does, but you need to be patient and diligent in the process if you’re seriously interested in finding love on the Internet. Those who give up after a week or a month will be naysayers, but those who understand that finding love or a life partner is probably more important than finding your next job, should take the time and enjoy the journey.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and dating coach. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.
Get out your digital fingers as this week the pressure may be on to propose marriage to your sweetheart as today is not just the first day of Spring, but it’s also National Proposal Day.
Held twice a year in both the Spring and the Fall, Proposal Day falls on the Vernal Equinox, where daytime and nighttime are of equal lengths.
While I still long to see traditional marriage proposals, complete with the gentleman asking for permission from the father of the future bride, to getting down on one knee and asking, “Will you marry me?,” the trend to announce relationship status changes and become “Facebook Official” is happening more-and-more online, than offline. We’re dating in a Web 2.0 World, so does a digital courtship include proposing in cyberspace?
Are Facebook pages replacing the New York Times wedding section as the place to submit engagement announcements?
With one out of five relationships starting online, it’s a natural progression to see a digital marriage proposal and to even see live tweeting during a wedding ceremony and reception. But still you need to ask yourself and your significant other, would you want your marriage proposal to be handled on the public Internet, at a ball game, on TV, or do you prefer that this be an intimate experience for just the two of you?
Talking about how you use social media as a couple is imperative to the success of your relationship. Both of you need to be on the same digital page, or it can backfire and cause friction in your relationship.
Just this week, the big news was the announcement by Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn that they’re officially a couple. How did we find out? Together they shared their new status on their individual Facebook pages. While responses to their announcement filled the Twitterverse, one might ask, will they soon be ready for a digital marriage proposal?
In a heartwarming and surprising marriage proposal, Huntsville Alabama TV anchor Jillian Pavlica of Fox 54 was shocked when the live breaking news story she was reading turned out to be her very own marriage proposal from her boyfriend, Vince Ramos. After reading the news in front of her television viewing audience, Ramos appeared on the set. Fortunately, she said yes, but it also included a social media element of the video going viral along with sharing the news on her Twitter page.
Mashable reported on 5 couples who met on Social Media, from Flickr, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter.
We’re living in a world that is surrounded by online activity. Couples jumping on the digital bandwagon today profess their love look at it in the same romantic way as someone who might have received a marriage proposal on the Jumbotron at a baseball or basketball game years ago.
These days, couples want to create a digital history of their relationship to add to their digital memory book. From memorializing the first date, first kiss, and even the marriage proposal Facebook timelines are filled with these romantic moments.
Still, with a digital marriage proposal, you might run the risk of embarrassment if you don’t say “Yes” to “I do.”
Wishing you a Happy National Proposal Day and much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Would you, or wouldn’t you propose marriage on Facebook, Twitter, Groupon, or in an Infographic? Would you say yes? Feel free to chime in with your thoughts.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and RulesofNetiquette.com.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Photo credit: © Denys Rudyi – Fotolia.com
Our friends at Match.com released their second annual Singles in America Study, showing that more men are in favor of committed relationships and public displays of affection than their female counterparts. This is good news as it breaks the stereotype and fear from women who are afraid to bring up the subject of commitment and monogamy while dating.
But how far do both single men and women want to go? The study encompassed over 5000 singles with the help of Dr. Helen Fisher, Chemistry.com’s chief scientific officer and biological anthropologist, and took a deep look into politics, weight, height, and which political party is having more fun in the bedroom. (Hint: It starts with the letter R)
The majority of the singles in the study said they wanted to be in a committed relationship, and believed that infidelity was a deal-breaker. Yes, even the guys are ready to go steady. However marriage wasn’t a priority. USA Today reports that two-thirds of the singles polled either don’t want to get married, or are unsure about it.
At the end of the digital day, changing your status to “In a Relationship” on Facebook is getting closer-and-closer to how we used to define marriage.
Are you looking for a relationship leading to marriage or would you prefer being in a committed relationship or just living together?
Your thoughts and comments are welcome.
Need some help with your online dating profile? Check out our irresistible profiles packages and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for special offers.
Admit it. You have Royal wedding fever, or perhaps a little regal envy about this week’s marriage between Prince William and Kate Middleton. After all, we haven’t had a Royal wedding in decades, let alone in this century.
In preparation for Friday’s celebration, I’ve added a tiara for the occasion and will be celebrating on Thursday evening at the BritWeek Gala, which includes a performance by Grammy-winning performer Seal. After dinner, I’ll come home and will join the millions of wedding enthusiasts on Twitter and Facebook for the very early morning broadcast (3am pacific time/6am eastern time). I’m just too excited to TIVO the festivities. At home, I’ll be nibbling on scones, sipping tea and sharing my thoughts with the Twitterverse @JulieSpira, so I hope you’ll join in on the conversation.
Am I excited? Of course I am. As a hopeful romantic I believe that watching a real-life fairy-tale-come-true takes us away from our day-to-day activities and brings love and joy into our lives.
Meanwhile, our friends at social dating community Zoosk took the time to survey 1000 singles to see how they felt about the Royal wedding. Their findings showed that more American singles (40%) will watch the ceremony on TV than their British counterparts (31%).
So where does that leave the remaining 60%?
According to Zoosk, a whopping 39% of their singles said they’d rather have root canal than watch the Royal wedding. Sitting in a dentist chair? That’s a strong feeling against the Royal wedding frenzy.
Does watching the Royal wedding make you wonder if you will be the next bride? More than half of the female Zooskers surveyed said yes, where less the majority of the men said it had no effect on their future marriage plans.
To wear, or not to wear a wedding ring. 75% of the women wish Prince William will wear a wedding ring. Even half of the men agreed on this point. Of the 1000 people surveyed, 66% wouldn’t want Prince Charles and Camilla as their in-laws.
Will you be watching the marriage ceremony on April 29th or sleeping in wishing it would finally be over? If you’ll be staying awake, perhaps you can multi-task and log onto your favorite online dating site to make the most of your time.
Feeling like your long-term relationship is ready for the next step? Watch this video with Julie Spira and Charles J. Orlando with their thoughts on who should propose marriage, the woman or the man.
We know that men don’t like ultimatums, but how do they feel about the marriage proposal? Feel free to chime in with your thoughts and comments.
Many thanks to Marie Pijanowski, for featuring me as her guest this week on The Power Connection Show to talk about dating in a web 2.0 world.
We talked about the latest trends in online dating and I shared two of my favorite heartwarming stories from the Cyber Love Story of the Week. The first couple, Betty and Bob met on eHarmony and were married at the age of 70. There’s hope for everyone of all ages. The other couple, Evita and Billy who started their cyber romance on SKYPE. After he disclosed his physical disabilities, she still decided he was the one for her. They’ve been happily married for four years.
For those who have taken a break, it’s raining men. Yes, now that the holidays are over and spring fever is here, men are reappearing and are ready to find love online. Listen to hear more about the dos and don’ts for your online dating profile, so you can make your Internet dating experience an enjoyable one.
Wishing you much love in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
John had just relocated to Michigan where he bought a new home and started a new job. He didn’t really have time for dating, but still had an online dating profile on CatholicMatch. Curious to see what women were online in his area, he kept his profile active and widened his search to a 500-mile radius.
When John saw Krystina’s profile, he found her to be interesting. He sent Krystina an email to say that he wished she lived closer. He let her know that he wasn’t interested in a long-distance relationship knowing that Krystina lived in Massachusetts. Krystina liked receiving John’s email and sent him a reply, which said, “We will make it work. I will come to you.”
Krsytina kept to her word and did indeed visit John in Michigan. After her second visit to Michigan, Krystina again took the initiative and insisted they take down their profiles and date exclusively. The two created rituals to cope with the long distance relationship including working out at the same time. “Sharing things like these encouraged good behavior in both of us,” John said. These are things we can count on to add stability to our day when we begin a new life together too.”
After 18 months of traveling back and forth and spending a lot of money on airline tickets, John took Krystina to Mass at a shrine near Boston devoted to St. Therese of Lisieux. It was at the shrine that gave her the engagement ring and asked her to marry him. Krystina instantly said yes and together they went to mass as an engaged couple.
Congratulations to Krystina and John, our Cyber Love Story of the Week who wouldn’t let distance get in the way of love.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Last week, Match.com celebrated their 15th anniversary with a research study showing that one out of six marriages were a result of couples meeting through an online dating site. While I was in New York, Carrie Seim interviewed me for her piece on the subject.
Her article, “The New Best Way to Meet Your Husband” came out this week on Betty Confidential. Non-believers are now flocking to online dating sites and it appears those who would have never thought about trying online dating are enjoying their bragging rights.
The New Best Way to Meet Your Husband
Survey says your best bet for finding Mr. Right is … online!
Julie Spira, author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, ventured forth on 250 online dates, earning several marriage proposals – and a husband – in the process. She says she’s not at all surprised by the Match marriage results:
“Not a day goes by that I don’t hear a story about someone who has met his or her spouse online,” she says. “Hoping that you might meet someone while out at a club or social event could have a high price tag and you most likely will come home empty-handed. There comes a time in your life when your friends aren’t fixing you up anymore. Online dating has become an efficient way for busy singles to meet their spouses – it’s truly a numbers game.”
There’s no shortage of dating advice these days. This week Angelenos were treated to a night to laughter, dating advice, and charity as 826LA, a non-profit writing and tutoring center for children ages 6-12 presented, “Love Hurts: Ask the Experts.”
The event was moderated by Time magazine’s funny man Joel Stein. Featured authors included Greg Behrendt, from He’s Just Not That Into You fame along with Lori Gottlieb, author of the bestseller, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough and Sascha Rothchild, whose book, How to Get Divorced by 30: My Misguided Attempt at a Starter Marriage
was released earlier this year.
It was interesting to note that both of the men on stage were married and both women were not.
Gottlieb’s book has received a lot of attention and criticism from feminists as well as those who never actually read the book who jumped to conclusion that “settling” was a bad decision before picking up their copy.
Views on Marriage
When the group was asked about their views of marriage, Rothchild said she would like to get married again, but won’t get divorced if she can help it. She added that many get married to wear a beautiful dress and get wedding gifts.
Behrendt told the group that he is not a relationship expert. He wrote two books about how to get out of relationships so he thought he wouldn’t be the one to know how to get in them. He suggested that singles go to Las Vegas to make their relationship legal and have a party in front of your friends. When asked why he got married, he replied with, “I got married because my wife wanted to get married. I didn’t want to lose her.” He says that marriage works for him.
Gottlieb said she went directly to experts to find out what really matters for love, long term happiness and got some answers. . She said she felt like a dating guinea pig and tried out their advice to try to get to the altar. Her findings are written in her well-researched book.
“Settling for Mr. Good Enough does not mean that you are settling with someone who you are not attracted to,” said Gottlieb. She added, “We rule out too many people. Good enough is everybody’s Mr./Ms. Good enough.” The bestselling author says that bow-ties are hot. So are men named Sheldon. She admits that she didn’t use to feel that way.
Rothchild says if you are going into a marriage thinking it will make you happy, you will be disappointed. She hates the line, “You will complete me.” She added, “If two half-people meet up they will be miserable. You can’t expect someone to make you happy.”
Views on Online Dating
According to Rothchild, online dating works for some people. She likes to get a sense of someone in person and isn’t a huge fan of the system. “You get an immediate vibe about a person when you meet him,” said Rothchild. She added, “You can feel if he is he crazy or not. With online dating, you don’t get that.” Rothchild said she likes to meet people out playing poker. She met her current boyfriend at a poker game. Her dating advice to singles, “If you like surfing, go surf. Meet other people who like what you like. Go up to a guy and say hi! If he’s available he’ll say hi back, its that easy.”
Gottlieb says he has to do online dating as she never leaves the house. She learned that women often rule people out real quickly. She made the analogy of shopping online at Banana Republic where after you buy a blouse online, you are sent to a page to show you other blouses you can purchase. She referred to the online dating site Match.com in her comparison. On Match, you write an email to someone you carefully select and suddenly you receive a thank you with five other men you should consider after selecting your favorite guy.
What the group all agreed on is dating has changed. According to Behrendt, “As a society, we don’t date as a ritual anymore. There’s hook-ups and casual dates. Years ago we went on dates because we didn’t [have sex] so we ate, danced, and had big band music.”
After the panel, I had the opportunity to personally interview Lori Gottlieb about why she felt so misunderstood by some of her critics of her book. You can read the article: Marry Him: A Conversation With Lori Gottlieb on Huffington Post.
Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com.