As online daters and those downloading the Tinder mobile dating app continue to watch Tinder explode, it’s no wonder that researchers, psychologists, and dating experts all have opinions on whether Tinder is helping singles or is just a game for people to play on their cell phones as they swipe left or right at the millions of profiles nearby.
On WCCO in Minneapolis, I spoke with radio show host John Hines about the pros and cons of Tinder, using mobile dating apps, and why I think Tinder can help women who are shy to connect with a potential date online and meet them offline.
Now let’s talk about the ‘Tinderella syndrome’ and if it really exists or not. Are women really suffering from spending too much time on Tinder? Is it affecting their ability to meet offline (IRL?)
The Daily Mail ran a story claiming that ‘Tinderella syndrome’ was ruining the love lives of women to the point that they wer unable to approach men in person offline. They went as far as saying that flirting techniques have been diminished due to the frequent use of the Tinder mobile dating app.
While psychologist Emma Kenny believes that online dating breeds impatience and insecurity since women are inundated with an abundance of potential dates that they become overwhelmed and stop investing the same effort into meeting dates offline.
Sure online dating is a numbers game and Tinder is responsible for over 10 million matches a day as well as 850 million swipes a day. Those are big numbers and it’s easy to fill your date card. Remember, not everyone on Tinder is looking for a love connection. Tinder’s founders believe that they are a social discovery app and that using the site an help make new friends with similar interests.
Some will use Tinder as a game and keep playing after a swipe or two. Others will take the time to read the profiles of potential matches before starting a private online chat that will hopefully lead to an offline meeting. Otherwise, you’ll just end up with a digital pen-pal, if that’s what you want.
Here are the reasons I don’t believe in the Tinderella Syndrome.
1. Mobile apps make it easier to connect with people close by. Those who are interested in meeting someone close by can easily log onto Tinder and view a profile instead of just swiping left or right to give a thumbs up on a profile. If the profile indicates they’re really looking to meet someone for a relationship, they can start chatting instantly if it’s a mutual match.
2. Almost 35% of married couples met online. A study from the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that about 1/3 of marriages were as a result of online.
3. Pew Research states that 59% of Americans think that online dating is a good way to meet people. With over half of Americans thinking online dating is the way to go, remember that most singles are using mobile dating apps, which speed up the process.
4. Mobile dating apps and online dating sites help those who are shy communicate with potential dates. It’s my opinion that using dating apps and dating sites only helps those who are too shy to approach someone in a bar to say hello. By chatting online, I think self-esteem can be improved and communicating skills with potential dates will also become easier. The key is to take your relationship from online to offline and meet IRL.
5. Online dating stigma is pretty much gone. It’s a matter of time that the stigma for Tinder or mobile dating apps for hookups will also diminish. Already we are seeing many relationships of couples who’ve found love on Tinder.
6. If your mutual match isn’t communicating with you or interested in meeting, just move on. Tinder reports they are seeing 10 million matches a day and 850 million swipes per day. With all of that activity, it’s pretty easy to figure out who’s playing the game and who will want to meet. If their profile is rather empty and they only say, “hey,” it’s probably not going to become a meaningful relationship.
In my conversation with John Hines from WCCO – CBS Radio, I told him that Tinder is known to have a membership base of mostly 18-34 year olds. Many aren’t looking for a serious relationship and are hooking up. But some are truly looking for a new digital outlet to find a date or love.
Yes Tinder is like a game and it asks you to keep playing instead of suggesting that you meet in person. There will always be those who love the digital ego boost of flirting online, with or without Tinder. However, there will always be those who truly are looking for a connection. Tinder makes it easy to connect. It’s up to you to decide if the relationship is ready to move offline.
As time goes on, more-and-more singles in their 40s and up will also be using Tinder, due to the ease of creating a profile and the flexibility of connecting on the fly with singles in their geographic area.
Do you believe in the ‘Tinderella Syndrome?’
College Humor came out with a cute parody about Tinderella – a Modern Fairytale worth sharing.
Photo credit: College Humor
Julie Spira is an online and mobile dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating and helps singles find love on the Internet with her Irresistible Profiles programs. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
As mobile dating apps continue to be the hot new way for singles to find love online, daters are swiping right to connect on a variety of mobile dating apps. The message is very clear. The success of finding love online is all in the hands of your mobile phone
In a recent interview, I spoke with ABC News in Los Angels about the landscape of mobile dating [see video below].
Enter Hinge, a free mobile dating app which helps you find dates based upon which Facebook friends you have in common. The best way that I can describe Hinge is Tinder MEETS Linkedin.
The concept makes sense as singles have become accustomed to swiping on Tinder, the mobile app now responsible for over 10 million matches a day and 800 million swipes per day.
Where Tinder gives you unlimited matches based upon your location, Hinge selects 10 matches served to you at noon each day. If you refer your friends to join Hinge, the number of matches will increase.
How Hinge Works
Hinge takes your Facebook profile photos, age, work information, and other data that you’ve provided, so other singles will see exactly who you are, without having to do an extensive Google search or background search.
Hinge users are 99% college educated, and most popular industries include banking, consulting, media and fashion. The average user has 36 friends on Hinge and 90% are between 23-36. Hinge has made over 2 million matches and just celebrated the first engagement.
Hinge just launched in Los Angeles with a party in West Hollywood at Greystone Manor with 500 of their 7000 Los Angeles singles who were on the wait-list. ABC 7′s Elex Michaelson reported on the event, along with my analysis below.
It should be no surprise, that online daters are now spending more time on dating apps than they do on the sites themselves. IBISWorld reports that by 2018, more than 80 percent of the population will own a smartphone (up from 46 percent in 2012). A recent Pew Research study reported that 29% of cell owners describe their cell phone as ?something they can?t imagine living without.?
eHarmony reports that some users log on over 15-20 times a day using their mobile dating app with over 50% registering from their mobile phones. Their mobile app has been downloaded over 9 million times, with 57% of their app users who are male and 43% who are female.
Match just released Match 3.0, a completely redesigned mobile app for iOs. They report that half of their users are joining Match through a mobile device and more than 50% of the emails exchanged on Match.com are sent from a mobile device.
POF founder Markus Frind tells me that they have tens of millions of users on their mobile dating app. “Between the apps and just mobile web use we are at 90% mobile,” said Frind. “When it comes to online dating using a website isn’t something that most people do anymore. It’s all about the phone,” Frind added.
Hinge is now available in 9 cities in the United States including Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles, New York City, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Washington, DC.
At the end of the digital day, finding love from the convenience of your mobile phone has become a part of everyday life for most single who are looking for love online.
Are you using mobile dating apps?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. Julie was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Tinder, now into its second year has captured the hearts of millions and has a flame that seems to be burning hot. Once suggested as a hook up app, Tinder is now a social discovery and dating app that’s responsible for many relationships. Recently, Tinder was estimated at a value of $5 billion. That’s a big number for the new kid in town. They’re also now validating celebrity profiles, because even many in Hollywood have jumped on the Tinder bandwagon.
So how does one find love on the fastest growing mobile dating app?
Finding love on your mobile phone has become all the rage. We no longer have to go home to check our inboxes to see if there’s been an email received by a potential suitor. I believe the reason that Tinder is so successful is because it’s so simple to use.
1. Singles download the mobile app to their phone and sign up through Facebook. The app will grab your profile and some photos, of which you can edit to your liking and you’re ready to start swiping left or right to find your dream match.
2. Make sure you use the filters available to select your age range, distance, and preference of meeting a man or a woman.
3. When you swipe to the right or click on the “heart” icon, you’ve accepted the profile as a potential match and lets you know that you’re a mutual match and can start chatting privately. When you swipe to the left or click on the “x” icon, you anonymously take a pass on the profile.
4. Those who are serious about finding a relationship, should take the time to read the profile by clicking on the “i” icon to see shared interests from Facebook and also see if you have mutual friends in common.
5. Tinder sends you a push notification if you receive a message from a match or if you’re a mutual match so you can start chatting privately.
6. If someone is bothering you on Tinder, you can block their profile or report it.
Is it a game or are you dating?
It’s quite simple, but how do those get out of the frenzy game approach? After all, it does give you a choice to “keep playing.”
Those who are having fun with the app or are using it as a distraction at lunch, may be taking a more voyeuristic approach to see if they’re a mutual match or not. Sure it can boost your ego, but if you’re not taking the relationship from online to offline, plain simply, you’re not dating.
In a recent conversation with two of the co-founders, Sean Rad and Justin Mateen at the LA Tech Summit, Rad explained that when they started Tinder, they had the fundamental belief that in a couple of years, the computer will be extinct and every application will be on the mobile phone. This is a huge shift in social behavior and Tinder is riding this wave.
My hairdresser met her boyfriend on Tinder. I know many successful relationships that credit Tinder for helping them to find love from the convenience of their mobile phones. I’m helping singles who are connecting on Tinder with the dating process and the trend is going to continue to rise.
Is there Tinder Anxiety Disorder?
But can someone suffer from Tinder anxiety disorder? What happens if you swipe the wrong way? A single man from Los Angeles called me with this very dilemma. He swiped to the left in error and had meant to swipe right. He was quite upset because he really liked this girl’s profile. He managed to find her on Facebook and wrote her a lengthy email on Facebook to let her know he swiped the wrong way and was hoping that she had swiped to the right and would remember him. He didn’t hear back. When you’re playing the game of Tinder, I caution you not to rush into the process and be caught up in a swiping frenzy.
Just like those who thought online dating was something to be hush-hush about ten years ago, those who are embracing Tinder and other mobile dating apps are finding this an efficient way to date, while having fun in the process. As with all dating sites and apps, you must state your dating goals and intentions. After you start chatting with someone for a while, it’s time to meet in person. Even if there’s not a love connection, you just might have made a new friend in the process.
Are you using the Tinder dating app?
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating and mobile dating expert who’s been helping singles find love online for 20 years. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and is the host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Hi. I’m Julie Spira. Every year my team and I curate a list of some of the best and newest mobile dating apps. It’s time to grab your SmartPhones as we’re proud to announce the 4th annual Cyber Dating Expert “Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps” list.
As online dating continues to be embraced by singles of all ages, mobile dating apps have taken the spotlight in 2013.
A recent Pew report on Online Dating & Relationships looked at the impact of social networking and mobile dating on singles looking for love.
Pew reported that 7 percent of mobile phone apps users (representing 3 percent of all adults) say that they have used a dating app on their cell phone. The convenience of dating from your mobile phone will not only results in meeting more people, but also speeds up the process from initial contact to meeting in person.
Mobile dating has truly become a social dating experience, with many apps considered social dating, social networking and social discovery experiences.
Without further digital ado, we?re proud to present the “Cyber Dating Expert Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps of 2013” for your viewing and downloading pleasure.
This year we’ve added three new mobile dating apps, which were featured in our Mobile Dating BootCamp.
As Tinder celebrates its 1-year Anniversary, we?re happy to list their mobile app as our top choice for 2013. Tinder is now the fastest growing location-based mobile dating app and is becoming a household name. While early adopters were found on college campuses, now everyone from Lindsey Lohan to the former Miss USA, along with your neighbors as well can be found flirting on the Tinder app. During this year’s Mobile Dating BootCamp, just about every participant requested to use Tinder while looking for love online. Tinder reports that 54 percent of their members are between 18-24 and 31.6 percent are between 25-34.
How it works. Users download the mobile app on their iPhone or Android phones and connect through Facebook to create a profile. You can anonymously scroll through potential matches nearby. If there’s a mutual match, then you can start chatting in text message style directly through their app.
Why we like it: It’s simple to use, free, anonymous, and is the fastest growing mobile dating app. Tinder has given credibility to mobile dating as the way to meet in a digital world. It’s also a fun way to make new friends. You can view a variety of potential dates in a ‘hot or not’ style and anonymously decide whether you’re interested in or not. Tinder boasts 400 million matches to date with approximately 4 million new matches per day. Download Android? Download iOs
Let’s Date call itself the ‘instagam’ of dating. Users sign and create their date card through Facebook connect. Once your profile is created, you’ll have the ability to edit your profile if you don?t want it to mirror your Facebook profile. Let’s Date reports that 55 percent of their users are between 18 to 24 years old and 40 percent are between 24 and 35 years old.
How it works: Let’s date uses science to help match you with someone compatible on their mobile dating app. Users can click on “Yes” or “No, Thanks” to profiles they’ve been matched with. If there’s a mutual match, users can be notified by email to let you know that it’s time to start chatting with your digital crush. You can also speed up the process by sending a flirt to the person you’ve selected for $.99 in the iTunes store.They also have a ‘wingman’ feature, which allows non-daters to view profile and share them with their single friends through email, SMS, or Twitter.
Why we like it: Its easy to create a profile for free and scroll through those that are sent to you. If you’re traveling you can change your location to the city you’d like to start dating in and fill up your date card before your arrival. Plus, you can link to your Facebook or Twitter accounts to create a more robust profile. Download iOs
For the fourth year in a row, Zoosk has made it to our “Top 10 Favorite Mobile Dating Apps.” Zoosk is a top mobile dating app for iPhone users and a top 10 overall grossing app in the iTunes store. More members, 55 percent are using the Android app as compared to 45 percent on iOS.
How it works: Users sign up for free, but if you pay for a subscription to Zoosk you’ll get unlimited winks and messages, full access to the ZSMS feature, can see who has viewed your profile, and you can chat with the connections you make. The cost of subscriptions are: 1 month for $29.95, 3 months for $19.98 per month, or 6 months for $12.49 per month.
Badoo is a free dating app and was launched in 2006. They have over 197 million members worldwide in 180 countries with over 41 languages available. Over 100,000 new mobile app users added every day. It’s a fun way to meet new friends and dates in a game-like environment.
How it works: Users can sign in through Facebook and use the service on the web, as well as on their mobile dating apps. Users can find singles with similar interests nearby to chat with and their “Encounters” game helps connect you with possible matches. Their premium paid service includes a “Spotlight” and “Rise Up” feature to be able to be seen by more members. With “Spotlight,” the member’s photo and brief profile info appear at the top of every main Badoo page within their area or region. “Rise Up” instantly puts the member?s profile at the top of the search results within their region. The “Super Powers” feature is a monthly service fee which gives users more control.
Why we like it: The added bonus of uploading videos.
PlentyOfFish has made it to our “Top 10 Favorite Mobile Dating Apps” list for the third year in a row. POF is one of the largest free dating sites in the world with over 2 million Americans logging on to the site each day. POF reports that 80 percent of people who access POF from a mobile device do so from their mobile Apps.
According to comScore, PlentyOfFish has captured 67 percent of the market share among mobile dating apps in the U.S. The app is completely free and is available in five languages, including English, French, German, Spanish, and Portuguese.
How it works: Users sign up for free and can search for singles from their mobile app using new filters such as education, height, and body type. Their Android app has a “Places” feature to provides users with a list of potential date hot spots. PlentyOfFish has also created a premium feature called “View Interaction” which tells singles if they’ve already interacted with a user; messaged back and forth, added each other to their Favorites list and viewed each others’ profiles. This ensures you’re not wasting time messaging someone you’ve already reached out to Users can also search for singles from their mobile app using new filters such as education, height, and body type.
Why we like it: PlentyOfFish has always understood the importance of singles meeting face to face. Their new “Date Night” feature will tell other singles in your area that you’re available for a date this weekend. The feature resets itself every week.? Download Android Download iOs
Meet Moi calls themselves the mobile matchmaker and states clearly that they are not an online dating service, and fall into the category of social discovery. Meet Moi does the searching for you and sends you a notification of a compatible date nearby to your mobile phone. They matches users with one another based on preferences and proximity by leveraging uniquely mobile capabilities like location awareness and push communication channels.
How it works: Users can sign up for free with features including creating a profile, sending winks, and replying to messages. Users receive a push notification when there’s a match nearby. If you choose to accept the match, you can click on “Has Potential” to show interest. If your match likes you back, you can chat for up to 60-minutes before deciding if you want to meet in person. Premium users can chat with all users and see who?s viewed their profile.
Why we like it: Their “Wingman” feature encourages group dating and makes introductions for groups of people, so if you’re hanging out with your friends, you can meet a group of other people nearby. They’re also available on the mobile web.? Facebook Connect allows users to see if they have any Facebook friends in common. Download Android? Download iOs
Skout is one of the earliest mobile dating apps and their iPhone app was launched in 2008. Their mobile app is a global network for meeting new friends or dates in over 100 countries around the world.
How it works: Skout is free to download with features include chatting and exchanging photos or notes Users can see who has checked them out. The app identifies singles in your immediate vicinity and gives you the opportunity to flirt and meet up with them. Though the app is free to use, members have the option of purchasing virtual gifts, premium memberships, or sending ?wink bombs? which reach up to 500 potential sweethearts in your area at once. Their premium model, Skout Pro is priced at $6.99.
Why we like it: Skout now has two separate and distinct communities for teens and adults, making it easy to safely make new friends. They’ve tackled the safety issue well. Download Android ?Download iOs
For the third year in a row, Grindr has made it to our “Top 10 Favorite Mobile Dating Apps.” Their mobile app launched in 2009 and they’ve been a leader in the mobile app only service. Grindr has 7 million male users in 192 countries around the world. The average user spends 2 hours a day on the app and logs in 8 times a day. Over 200 million photos are sent every day from guys to guys using their mobile apps.
How it works: Grindr is a location-based app where users can create a profile for free, upload photos, chat, and meet. Users can view 100 profiles of men in their area. Premium users of Grindr-Xtra have an advertising-free service and can receive push notifications even when the app is closed. Other benefits of Grindr-Xtra include? the swipe feature to easily scan through profiles. The premium service costs between $12.99/mo. to $64.99/yr.
Why we like it: It’s been the most innovative and successful niche based mobile dating app in the world. With 1 billion chat messages being sent in a given month, need we say more? Download Android Download BlackBerry Download iOs
OkCupid is free and makes it easy to access the web version of their site on your mobile phone, as well as providing a mobile-only app that is location-based and simple to use.
How it Works: Users can sign in from Facebook or directly on the mobile app to find singles in your area. Accessing their “Locals” feature will show you people in your vicinity. The app allows you to swipe right to “like” a user or swipe to the left to “take a pass.” If it’s a mutual match, you’ll find out immediately and will receive an email. Users then can visit their profile or send a message. Other features you can access from your mobile phone include viewing the famous OkCupid questions, saving a profile as a favorite, viewing your visitors, and ranking your potential date from 1-5 stars. Each user’s profile will state your Match, friend, and enemy percentages similar to what you’ll find on the web-based site. Upgrading to A-List, which includes anonymous browsing is an additional fee.
Why we like it: Having the percentages on a profile photo makes it easy for those who are intrigued by the computer algorithms to take a second look at a potential date.
How About We now provides an online meet-and-greet with the goal of being an offline dating service for both singles and couples. Their mobile app lets you view full screen photos and dates of people in your area. Their premise is to connect online and meet offline at user created events.
How it works: Members can sign up for free and post ideas for dates. This helps speed up the process as often a member will have tickets for a specific concert or sporting event and will list the date/time of the potential date. You’ll also receive real-time notifications with recommended dates. To view your visitors, you can invite three friends for free to join the site, or upgrade to the premium membership. To send or read emails, you’ll need to pay for a membership which runs from $8.99/mo. to $34.99/mo.
Why we like it: How About We has partnered with AARP for the large number of single boomers over 50 who are looking for love online. AARP members can receive 50% off their membership. It makes members? think about a fun actual date and creativity is the key. You’ll find more than just suggested beach walks from their busy and active members. Plus their blog, The Date Report really rocks!
Newcomer Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) was created by three sisters Arun, Dawoon, and Soo Kang. CMB has won the hearts of many singles looking for love online. Originally a web-based service in a few cities in the U.S., Coffee Meets Bagel launched their iOs app in August of 2013.
How it Works: Every day at noon, you’ll receive one match from a friend-of-a friend, or one “bagel.” Users sign up through Facebook to create their profile and can “Like” or “Pass” on their bagels. If you missed one of your bagel dates, you can request to be rematched. Users can visit their bean shop to buy coffee beans for upgraded services at the cost of $4.99 to $99.99, but can also easily win free beans by recommending a bagel to a friend. Since the service is new, users might not get a bagel match every day, but we have our eyes on this site and hope that it continues to grow in membership.
Why we like it: Users look forward to receiving their daily “bagel” at lunch time. CMB believes your dating life, including name, birthday and email should be private, that your friends are the best conduits for your dates, and that meeting quality people doesn’t have to be so awkward or complicated. It’s also like a fun game to receive coffee beans when you respond to a match.Download on iOs
STILL OUR FAVORITES
These top web-based dating sites have terrific mobile apps that are worthy of downloading on your smartphones to speed up your search.
eHarmony is responsible for over 1 million people getting married since they launched in 2000. That’s a number to brag about. Their mobile app downloads surpassed the 5-million mark over the summer. eHarmony reports that users tend to access their mobile apps 5+ times throughout the day, compared to twice a day on the computer. Over 40 percent of their user registrations take place in the mobile environment. The app is free to download where you can sign up, fill out your profile and questionnaire, upload photos from Facebook, receive daily matches, and communicate for free on specialty weekends. Paid members have the same functionality as the subscriber’s web version, where you can view photos, go through guided communication, see when a match last logged in, and read/write emails. Download Android Download iOS? Download iPad
Match.com was launched in 1995 and is available in 24 countries around the world and in 15 different languages. Their mobile app is a service for paid subscribers on more platforms than any other app. Match reports that more than 40 percent of user logins come from their mobile apps.? Users can wink, create and view profiles, upload up to 24 photos, send and receive emails, add users to their “Favorites” and rate their “Daily Matches.” Other Premium features include the popular “Who’s Viewed Me?” feature. Users can sign up on Facebook and also be notified of upcoming Stir Events on their mobile app.? Download Android? Download iOs? Download BlackBerry
Previous Top 10 Mobile Dating apps lists can be viewed here.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profile almost 20 years ago. Today, she coaches singles on the dating scene and is the host of Mobile Dating BootCamp: Dating in a Mobile World.
Cyber-Dating Expert and Three Day Rule are teaming up again to bring you Mobile Dating BootCamp.
This year’s contestants will try to find love from the convenience of their mobile phones with a whole new list of mobile dating apps.
Mobile dating apps are all the rage. Ten lucky singles in Los Angeles will be competing to find their dream date.
Last year’s Mobile Dating BootCamp was featured in the Washington Post newspaper.
This year’s mobile dating apps this include:
- Let’s Date
- Match Mobile
- How About We
- Plenty of Fish
Daters will be receiving private coaching from online dating expert Julie Spira and prizes galore from Three Day Rule.
All contestants will meet together at the Mobile Dating Conference in Beverly Hills, where they’ll be generously hosted by iDate to enjoy a catered meal at the SLS Hotel and will share their experiences with Internet dating executives in a focus group panel.
Plus, Uber has generously donated round trip transportation in Los Angeles with a private driver to the hotel for each contestant.
For more information and to apply for your chance to be included, visit MobileDatingBootCamp.com/apply.
Every year at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we have our Irresistible Anniversary Celebration. It was four years ago on October 15, 2008, that CyberDatingExpert.com, an online dating advice magazine was officially launched. Today, we’re honored to be considered the TOP online dating advice site on the planet and are helping more and more singles find love online.
It’s a joy to share with you our year-in-review and a few special announcements and offers for our Anniversary Week.
When we launched as a site to help singles while dating in a Web 2.0 World, we knew we could help singles in their cyber journey. We’d like to thank you for helping us remain the #1 online dating expert site on the Internet. In honor of our birthday, we’d like to give you a gift to help you while looking for love online and the largest discount ever on our Irresistible Profiles.
From Monday, October 15th through Sunday, October 22nd, we’ll be giving our readers a free .pdf copy of our bestselling online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. To receive your free copy follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and post this update. Hi @JulieSpira. I’m #lookingforloveonline.
Also during our irresistible anniversary celebration week, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and post your update of “Happy Anniversary Cyber-Dating Expert. I’m looking for love online” to receive a free copy of The Perils of Cyber-Dating.
In addition, we’ll be answering your dating questions for FREE all weekend long. So do take a moment and join in on the fun. If you have a dating dilemma, let us know!
50% Off Irresistible Profiles
Need some extra hand-holding? We’re offering our readers 50% off our Going Steady and Totally in Love Programs, where we’ll create an irresistible online dating profile to help you shorten the search and ride into the digital sunset together. But don’t wait. This offer is only valid for new orders placed between October 15, 2012 – October 22, 2012. Click here to get started.
Bloomingdales – Beauty 101: Meet Your Match
October 20, 2012, 1PM To 2PM – 4PM To 5PM
Our week long celebration will end at Bloomingdales in Century City (Los Angeles), where it’s an honor to partner with Bloomies for their “Turn Your Beauty On” Promotion. We know you might need some help with finding your perfect makeup match to look super-beautiful on date night. Come see Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira at the Meet Your Match speed-beauty event. Julie will provide personalized dating and relationship advice. With your $25 ticket, redeemable in Cosmetics merchandise, you’ll receive free samples, light refreshments, and enter to win one of the many luxurious Cosmetics gift baskets. Stop by any Cosmetics counter to get your ticket now!? This is going to be a lot of fun and tickets are limited. Call 310-772-2144 to reserve your spot!
Now for a few bragging rights and in case you missed some of our highlights, we’re sharing our year-in-review for you.
Best Dating Blog Finalist
You voted for us for the best dating blog in the world and we became a finalist. Yes, there were thousands of votes and the competition was steep. CyberDatingExpert.com was the only dating advice site to be a finalist in both 2011 and 2012.? It’s with heartfelt thanks that we acknowledge your support.
In the News
From Facebook to mobile dating, online dating safety to breaking up,? our dating advice reached millions on multiple continents! It was an honor to be named one of America’s Leading Relationship Experts in Woman’s World magazine.? Most of our media appearances can be found in our press room.
Mobile Dating BootCamp
We hosted the first-ever Mobile Dating BootCamp and it was featured in the Washington Post. Mobile is the hot topic and we’re helping singles find love from the convenience of their mobile phones. We’re gearing up for Season Two of Mobile Dating BootCamp, and our mobile dating advice has been featured in/on Canadian Living, Mashable, Mobile Dia, NBC, and NPR.
Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps
Back by popular demand and in conjunction with Social Media Week, we announced the Cyber Dating Expert Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps for 2012. This year, we expanded the list to include social discovery apps. Why wait until you get home to find a date? It’s time to start dating on your cell phone.? View our post to see all the features of our favorites this year.
Your Online Dating Stories
From the bottom of my heart, all of us at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters thank you for another amazing year of letting us help you find love in a Web 2.0 World. Do remember to like us on Facebook and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
?I had spent several months waiting to hit ?go? on my online dating profile, unsure about my photos and insecure about the the wording of my responses. After spending just a few hours with Julie, we were able to craft a profile that truly reflects the real me. She insisted we post it live as soon as we were done. The results were unbelievable. Within hours, I received 5 thoughtful emails from men who fit my criteria. Several more soon followed and continue to pour in. Without her invaluable advice, I would have never had the kind of success I?ve been able to have. Thank you Julie!?
?I had been happily married for 25 years and was nervous about starting over again. After healing from my husband?s death, I worked with online dating coach Julie Spira who gave me the confidence and tools for dating online. I signed up for the ?Totally in Love? package, where Julie created my profile and held my hand along the way. Within a week I met someone who I really liked. I became optimistic about finding love again. A few months later, I was pleasantly surprised as I fell in love with my Soul Mate.?
~Gail ? 56
?I worked with Julie Spira to rewrite my online dating profile. With her help and coaching, I was able to find more quality women to write to online.?
~Dean ? 35
Is it possible to find love from your mobile phone?
Within 24 hours after we completed the first season of Mobile Dating Bootcamp, I was contacted by the Washington Post as an expert in mobile dating for a featured story they were writing on the subject. With the rapid growth and popularity of mobile dating apps, their in-depth piece on the subject entitled, “Love on the run: the fast rise of mobile dating apps” appeared on the cover of the business section of the Sunday paper on August 19, 2012.
Franklin, one of our contestants, was more than happy to share his experience with the Washington Post. After all, he?s truly looking for his wife and is hoping that by using mobile dating apps, it will speed up his search.
Full story @Washington Post by Amrita Jayakumar
At a swanky Los Angeles hotel in June, six single people sat before a roomful of industry executives to discuss that issue.
This annual conference is a gathering of the biggest players in the dating app business. The six participants had signed up for a first-of-its-kind mobile dating boot camp, organized by Julie Spira, an author and cyber-dating expert.
Their mandate was simple: Try out two apps for two weeks and provide honest feedback.
While developers collect their own statistics and user responses, this was the first time this sort of focus group was organized, she said.
Franklin Horn had never tried mobile dating before.
?I don?t think I would have started it on my own, and I?m in the software industry,? said Horn, 27, who works at a tech startup in Santa Monica. ?It?s a hard thing to put yourself out there.?
He used three apps: eHarmony, Skout and MeetMoi. While he didn?t go on any dates, Horn said he exchanged about 150 casual messages with a few women.
?Since I?m single and busy, I wanted to use it as a way to practice flirting and see the technology behind the apps,? he said.
Another participant, Joe, 30, from Chicago, described his experience in a blog.?With these apps it feels like, ?Hey, I?m in the area, I?m looking to hang out,? he wrote. ?You know what somebody?s intention is. It?s a little more explicit up front.?
Spira says that just like online dating, people should apply common sense with an app.
?You have to use intuition and act the way you would in real life,? she said. ?Like meeting in a public place.?
All the dating app users were clear that they?d prefer meeting someone the old-fashioned way, without technology. Even if they did use an app, they wanted to take the relationship from online to offline as soon as possible, said Spira, the cyber dating expert.
?I?m sure Mrs. Horn is out there somewhere,? Horn, the boot camp participant, said. ?The app is just a way to meet her.?
The next season of Mobile Dating Bootcamp will take place in January, 2013 in Las Vegas at the Internet Dating Conference. We?ll be casting contestants in October, 2012.
Julie Spira is an online dating and mobile dating expert and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and was an early adopter of online dating from dial-up to mobile. Julie creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene to shorten their search while looking for love online.? For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Today is a momentous day for me.
It?s a day of great reflection and a day of digital pride.
It was four years ago today on July 31, 2008, that I started writing my first book,?The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.
Four years later, on July 31, 2012, I?m now sending out my 15,000th tweet to 25,000+ loyal followers on twitter. I?m humbled. I?m grateful. I?m filled with joy. I want this digital milestone to be meaningful and I?m honored to share this story of a powerful and passionate reinvention you. My life changed dramatically four years ago. It?s an honor and joy to help singles find love on the Internet. It?s time to share my journey. I hope you enjoy the ride.
In the beginning
How did a broadcaster turned technology executive become an online dating expert?
It wasn?t a childhood dream of mine to be an online dating expert or create Cyber-Dating Expert. It was my dream as a young child to become a music radio DJ. I considered myself a ?musicologist,? listened to the radio non-stop and knew that was my calling. I was fortunate to have lived that dream as the first female DJ at a big FM rock station in Upstate New York, where I wanted my listeners to be enriched by sharing my favorite songs on the radio. I believed my listeners would be my forever friends. There was no such thing as BFFs, tweets, updates, and broadcasting was a unilateral. I spoke. People listened. That all changed with social media, where it?s now about the conversation and community. It appears I now have the digital gift of gab.
My love affair with technology started many years ago when I became a network executive. At RKO, we were the country?s first digital-delivered satellite radio network. I was, and still am a hopeful romantic and my life was filled with music and love. I had no idea that my future would include the marriage of love and technology. It makes perfect sense now, of course. I was an early adopter of the Internet and an early adopter of online dating. Why not marry the two things I was so passionate about?
Four Years Ago Today
So what exactly happened on July 31, 2008, and why did I feel the need to open up my entire personal life for people to read about and comment? Basically, I lost a bet at girls night out at Jazz Night at the Hollywood Bowl. It could have been as simple as flipping a coin. One could say I lost the bet. Other’s say I won.? I was sharing some of funny dating stories while passing my BlackBerry around to my married girlfriends to view photos of a date I was considering going on. The odd thing about this particular date was, his mother selected me on behalf of her son on Match.com. She said I was perfect for her never-married son. I found it quite odd that she was looking for love, while playing the role of wing-woman for her son.? Out of curiosity, I wanted to see how it would play out. That story ended up in Chapter 13 of my book, “The Perils of Cyber-Dating” in the story called, ?The Mother-in-Law.? We never met, but it made for humorous conversation.
Then the floodgates opened. I shared the story of the man who went berserk in a restaurant over 10 years earlier because he thought I looked like his recently deceased wife, the gentleman who told me graphic details of his colonoscopy while we were eating lunch, as well as the fairytale romances leading to marriage proposals. All of these stories were a result of online dating. Could I be alone, I wondered?
What we all realized on that important night was that singles everywhere were struggling to find love, both online and offline. These amusing dating stories weren?t unique to me. I had spent years perfecting the Irresistible Profile and helped singles throughout the U.S. shorten their search so they could ride into the digital sunset together. I knew I had a gift. I was told from my mentor that my storytelling skills from being a media personality could be transferred to literary works. I believed him because he believed in me.
When my girlfriends dared me to write a book, I laughed it off and said, “sure.” They were serious and I thought it was funny. However, I reflected to a day 13 years earlier when I decided to write a book about my online dating stories and came up with a the title of ?The Perils of Cyber-Dating.? This was as a result of being proposed to by a married man. That would be perilous, wouldn?t it? I shared the love for my book title with my girlfriends who all agreed it would be perfect. ?Of course someone must have written this book already,? I said to the girls. Then they made a bet with me. If this title had not been published, I must write the book. If it was already written, then being an author wasn?t in the cards for me. I agreed, thinking that I?d be off the hook. Certainly in all these years, there must have been others wanting to write about such perilous stories.
When I returned home, I received a call from my girlfriend who was determined to win the bet. I checked online. I checked on Amazon. Apparently no one had written The Perils of Cyber-Dating. However, as a marketing and communications strategist, I knew I?d need to have the corresponding domain name. I assumed someone was blogging under this title, or perhaps it was parked somewhere. I wasn?t sure how it would pan out. I jotted down chapter titles and a few stories and went to sleep exhausted but enthusiastic about writing the book I promised myself I’d do over a decade before.
The next day, I checked to see if perilsofcyberdating.com was available. Much to my surprise and joy, the domain name was available! ?How could this be?? I asked. Then I knew it was meant to be. I had hundreds of stories that I had collected from almost 15 years. I was on the Internet before most people even knew the Internet. I had been a charter member of Love@AOL before the days of Match.com, eHarmony, and mobile dating.
From my Heart to Print
And so my love affair with my first book began. I wrote. I edited. I reflected. I laughed. I cried. It was empowering, healing, cathartic and more. I knew my story had to be told.? There was no one else with such a unique perspective from dial-up to mobile. I knew I needed to help other singles and that humor and wit would shine along with my authenticity. The first agent I contacted told me that no one would be interested in anyone?s dating stories. Apparently he was wrong and didn?t see the future on how dating blogs and television dating shows would rise in popularity.
When I finished writing the manuscript, I created CyberDatingExpert.com as a place for singles and couples to share their online dating stories and to provide free dating advice for singles looking for love online. Readers started to submit stories for the Cyber Love Story of the Week and Peril of the Week features and commented with enthusiasm.
I remember how exciting it was to create my book cover. I had a vision of a girl getting ready for a date with a city background. The day my first copy of ?The Perils of Cyber-Dating? was delivered to my home. It was like giving birth. I was so very proud. I had received glowing advanced praise including Joan Rivers who said, ?Hilariously Funny! Singles of all ages need to read this book? and E. Jean Carroll from Elle magazine said, ?It?s Like Sex and the City in a Web 2.0 World.?
I started tweeting about my book?s progress using my social media marketing strategies and engaging like-minded singles leading up to my Valentine?s Day launch. On the day it was released, I was filled with tears of joy. ?The Perils of Cyber-Dating? became a best selling dating book in several categories. My passion for helping singles became known worldwide and I started coaching more and more singles every day by giving them the tools to be confident in the digital age.
Words can?t express how grateful I am to have been able to reach millions with my online dating advice. Every day I thank those who have supported me on my journey. Cyber-Dating Expert is now one of the top online dating advice sites on the Internet and has been nominated for numerous awards. I’ve been named “One of America’s Ultimate Experts” by Woman’s World magazine and “The Pioneer of Online Dating” by Cosmo. Our advice has been featured and quoted in and on over 450 stories around the world. I?ve had the opportunity to write for Betty Confidential, eHarmony, Huffington Post, JDate, Match, Your Tango, among others. It’s been an honor to have been quoted on ABC, CBS, Mashable, Men?s Health, and NBC and speak at the Internet Dating Conference.
In the Future
As online dating continues to grow and evolve with mobile dating, our team is at the forefront. Our mobile app, Dating Expert is celebrating its third year and our annual ?Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps? list is highly respected by journalists and singles. Our team created Mobile Dating BootCamp in 2012 and we’ll be casting a second season to be held in Las Vegas in 2013. I?m in the final stages of finishing my second book,?The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web as well as an exciting screenplay.
I was just a girl with a dream, a huge heart, and hundreds of stories, who happened to be an early adopter of online dating. I now have dreams of seeing my story on the big screen and riding off into my very own digital sunset. I have a feeling my dreams will become a reality.
My message to all of you is to follow your heart. Dream big and be open to the possibilities of a new beginning in both love and work. Don?t discard someone who isn?t perfect. None of us are. Be honest and authentic. Remember that patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for. Your shelf life does not have an expiration date on it and you can ask for forgiveness and give love another chance. One of our featured couples in the Cyber Love Story of the Week found love on eHarmony at the age of 70. Find your passion and it will welcome you with open arms. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me share the love every single day among 6 continents. I couldn?t have done it without you.
At the end of the digital day, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
What do you get when you match up 8 single daters and 8 mobile dating apps?
Hi, this is Julie Spira and I’ve created Mobile Dating Bootcamp, a social dating experience to help singles find love from the convenience of their mobile phones.
With over 14 million singles using mobile dating apps, we decided to put mobile to the test. Let’s see what the daters had to say.
As we get ready for the Mobile Dating Conference, I spoke with NBC News in Miami about how to find love from your mobile phone. It’s becoming the most popular way for singles to find finding love in a Web 2.0 World.
“They’re not just using them for phone calls,? author and online dating expert Julie Spira said. ?They’re making dates, reservations, buying shoes, buying books … and dating fits into that as well.”
Many traditional online dating sites are now launching their own apps. Spira said some offer instant gratification.
“We call it location-based service dating, so if you’re at a Starbucks and there’s somebody down the street at a sandwich shop and you’re on the same mobile app, maybe you can meet for dessert,” Spira said.
Many thanks to everyone at NBC 6 in Miami for featuring CyberDatingExpert.com in your story.
For more about mobile dating, visit our Mobile Dating BootCamp site, where 8 contestants are using 8 mobile apps and will be talking about their findings at the Mobile Dating Conference in Beverly Hills in a focus group, moderated by Julie Spira.
Julie Spira is an online dating, cyber-relations, and mobile dating expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene.? For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert