In the News

Cyber Love Story – Becky and Phil

beckyandphil 226x300Becky had been married for 30 years when her husband sadly passed away. Out of the dating scene for such a long time, she wasn’t sure what to do.

One day, she decided to turn to online dating and joined Match.com.

“It was the summer of 2011 when I joined Match,” explains Becky.

“I tried Match because I guess….after so many years of not being in the dating world, I figured that would be the best way to meet people.”

Becky had a few dates, but they weren’t her cup of tea.

Then in October of 2011, she started communicating with Philip. Phil had been single for over 10 years before meeting Becky.

After talking via email and phone for a week or so, the two agreed to meet for a late lunch on October 13 at Pappy & Harriett’s.

“It was so much fun,” explains Becky.  “We just kept talking and laughing, and talking and laughing, and he took me for a ride on his motorcycle.  Five hours later we had a hard time parting ways, wanting to spend more time together.  But we did say good-bye for the night.”

The next morning Philip emailed Becky and said…”You definitely have my attention”.  We have been together ever since, splitting time

between both Becky and Philip’s homes.

When I saw Becky and Phil, they were celebrating their 2-year anniversary and couldn’t stop saying “I love you” to each other.

Congratulations to Becky and Philip, who prove you can start your life all over again while looking for love online.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

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Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles and Online Dating BootCamp programs.

Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.

3 Changes to Instantly Improve Your Online Dating Profile

Fotolia 18812125 XS 150x150At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we hear complaints from both men and women about how every profile seems to look the same after a while. Singles get frustrated too easily, because there are too many choices. As a result, the searching process becomes so blurry, that they often just turn off the computer and go out to hang out with their friends.

Think about it and let’s compare it to selecting the perfect scoop of ice cream to sweeten your palate. If the choices were all vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry, it might not be that inviting as compared to Pineapple Passion Fruit, Cinnamon Buns, or Karamel Sutra, just a few flavors I can’t wait to try when I’m at Ben and Jerry’s.

So without further digital ado and minus the calories, here are a few steps you can do to immediately have a more unique profile, without resorting to posting skydiving photos.

1. Dump the Cliché’s.  Every girl dreams of taking a romantic beach walk or staring at the sunset for a dream date. Let’s take a reality check and ask yourself, just how many beach walks are you going on? Maybe you’ll do so with a date at some point, but it’s oh so boring for them to read this over-and-over again. It goes hand-in-hand with saying you can dress from jeans to black-tie and want a man with a sense of humor.  So if you’re asking for a guy who works hard and plays hard, you’re not one in a million. You’re among the multi-million profiles with those same overused words.

Solution: Nix these clichés now and replace them with photos and actions and about what makes you the girl he wants to know more about. If you’re stumped, ask a friend what makes you different and unique. He or she may remind you how you’re the first one out at 6am to clean the bay or love the fact that you volunteer to feed the homeless in soup kitchens on Thanksgiving. Replace the blue jeans to black tie cliché with photos of you dressed in a variety of outfits. He’ll get the picture and will want to see more.

2. Ask a Question.  This is something that I believe is an absolute must on every profile. Remember that your profile shouldn’t be a monologue or all about you. You need to start a two-way dialog with your profile as a brief introduction about yourself.  Your dream date must be able to imagine his or her life with you, not just watching you from afar wondering if he’ll fit it or not.

Solution: Name a few of your favorite vacation spots and ask if you’re date has ever been there before. List a local mountain you’d like to hike and ask if he’s ever done that before. Mention a rock band that you’ve always wanted to see and ask if you’re the only one who hasn’t seen Lady Gaga in concert. Mention you’d like to take golf lessons and have clubs collecting dust in the garage and ask if anyone would like to go with you to the driving range. This makes it easier for someone to write to you with a specific solution and answer to your question. It will instantly increase the amount of emails that you’ll be receiving.

3. Reduce the word count. Yes, describing your life story should be written in your personal journal and not be on your dating profile. Statistics show that writing a shorter profile will get more responses. Not everyone reads your entire profile and you’ll be lucky if they read the first few sentences. If they scroll down and notice a long-winded profile, it’s likely that they’ll say, “Next!”

Solution: Leave the novel at home. Drop the long drawn out description and reduce your profile by at least a paragraph, if not more.  Remember, dating is about getting to know you over time. Details of your relationship and family history and listing every vacation you’ve gone on won’t leave room for imagination. It’s a digital dance, so make it a sneak peek into your life.

Make some of these changes to your profile now and cyber love will just be a click away. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene.  For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

Photo credit: Maxim_Kazmin – Fotolia.com

Fourth of July Fireworks Special on Irresistible Profiles

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So your relationship status is listed as a “dud.” Does that mean you should accept your ho-hum love life or are you ready to ignite some fireworks to kick-off the summer holiday?

At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we’ve decided to help you ramp up your search with a wonderful 20% HOLIDAY Savings! But we’re only limiting this offer to TEN lucky people.


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SAVE over $150 on your package now from July 2 – 8, 2012 and sign up for our Signature IRRESISTIBLE Online Dating Profile Makeover package.

As you know, I’m passionate about helping singles find love both online and offline. I also happen to love holiday weekends. It’s the time to ramp up your flirting techniques and mingle with singles all weekend long.

While fireworks will be in the sky throughout America, what about the fireworks and passion in your love life? Don’t you deserve to have a spark ignited?

That’s right. No gimmicks, no long term commitment. One very special PRIVATE coaching session that will change the direction of your love life. Let the next holiday fireworks be your very own in the arms of someone very special.

  • 20-minute Phone or Skype Consultation
  • Personalized Dating Assessment
  • Customized Online Dating Profile from Scratch or Makeover
  • Includes a NEW Catchy Screen Name
  • New Bio With the Perfect Word Count
  • One Personalized Matching Search
  • 30-Days Unlimited eMail Support to help you before, during, and after your dates. (valued at $997)

*Don’t wait as this offer is valid for the FIRST 10 People who sign up and will sadly expire on July 8th at midnight when the price will revert back to the regular rate.

Sign up now and let the next Cyber Love Story of the Week be your own.




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*Coaching Packages are non-refundable


Do Internet Daters Suffer from Online Dating Fatigue?

ODF 150x150Lately, I’ve been questioning whether singles who are members of online dating sites really want to meet someone and create a real relationship that goes from online to offline, or just spend time hanging out in cyberspace.  It appears that many daters are suffering from a relationship syndrome called ODF, the acronym for online dating fatigue. It can also be defined as IDF, Internet dating fatigue.

While I might sound like eHarmony’s founder Neil Clark Warren, who wrote an article on Huffington Post, On Second Thought, Don’t Get Married, where I’m telling online daters that they might need to take a break as well, there’s some truth to ODF.  In Warren’s article,  he questioned whether marriage has become obsolete. The article is still being talked about and was shared by over 4000 people on Facebook and Twitter and “liked” by over 13,000 people. Something to ponder.

As an online dating expert and coach, I’m not suggesting you should abandon online dating completely, but instead consider taking a break and return refreshed, along with a new set of rules and digital tools that might increase your chances of success. Just as athletes get muscle fatigue, daters do get online dating fatigue.

In my coaching practice, I meet singles and divorcee’s who are already fed up with the process.  There are several reasons why I believe they’re suffering from ODF, and am here to provide some suggestions and online dating tips that just might wake you up from the exhausting process.

1. You’re tired of logging on and coming up empty handed.

You go to the gym three times a week, meet your friends for drinks twice a week, and spend an hour a day logging on to your online dating account to view photos of eligible singles. You hand pick 10 men or women to write to and take the time to personalize the subject line.  The result is, no one ever writes back.  You don’t know why they weren’t interested, wondered if they had an inactive profile where they couldn’t read your email, or were testing the waters with a few others and would consider you for the future. You diligently send emails more often-than-not, and still wake up to an empty inbox. It’s discouraging, I know. You feel like it’s a chore.

 2. You’re tired of trying to create interesting introduction emails.

You know you’re smart, witty, and have that great sense of humor everyone advertises that they’re looking for.  Yet, you find it hard to write an introduction email that will be catchy and stand out. You didn’t grow up wanting to be a copywriter, so your personality doesn’t shine. As a result, you spend less time logging on.  Finding a date or a mate goes down a notch or two on the totem pole. You’ve worked hard all day at work. You really don’t want to work that hard when you get home. The end result is, you lose interest. You’re suffering from ODF.

Take for example *Mike (name changed), who has been sending the same 770 word count email about himself for four years to women promising a lifetime of happiness. He wrote a novel with over 50 sentences to introduce himself.

Chances are Mike never reads the profiles of the pretty faces he views. He diligently copies the same email daily and sends it cold to women with a shotgun approach. His subject line is empty and says, (none). Sure online dating is a numbers game, but if you aren’t an educated player, your email may end up deleted by the third sentence. I finally had to tell him, “Copy + paste = erase” and suggested that he leave the novel at home. He didn’t appreciate my constructive criticism and is still single to this day.

3. You’re too picky.

If anyone has ever suggested that you might be too picky, chances are, they’re right. Your list may be so long on your profile, that it discourages would-be suitors to find someone more easy-going. If your search parameters are too narrow, it’s rare that you’ll find a compatible partner, online or offline.

Take *Janie for example. She’s a vivacious woman with a lot to offer a man. She has a successful career, beautiful home, loves to cook, and really wanted to fall in love. She came to me as a last resort, having been single for a decade. I looked at her profile and her search requirements were so limiting. She only wanted to meet a man who lived within a five-mile radius of where she resided. Her age parameters only spanned five years. It was an impossible task with unrealistic expectations. She didn’t realize it, but she was too picky. We broadened her search to 40 miles and expanded her age range to 12-years, 6 older and 6 younger than herself. She’s now dating someone age-appropriate who lives a town away. Are you too picky?  If so, it’s time to cast a wider net.

4. You’re unavailable.

You wouldn’t send a resume looking for your dream job without an email and phone contact for the recruiter to call you for the job interview, so you shouldn’t be so difficult to reach to set up a date.

Take *Bill, a handsome and successful man as an example. He always makes a good first impression in his introductory emails. He sends the women his phone number along with a message telling them that he’s only available to speak at 12pm and 9pm.  Most people have busy lives, both personally and professionally.  So if a woman called Bill outside of those two limited time slots, they’d not only get his voicemail, but he also had “call intercept” on his line requesting that you announce yourself before he’d pick up the call. Pre-screening your date’s inbound phone call is a netiquette no-no. Of course most of the women hung up. Bill’s still single. A little more flexibility and removing call intercept on his phone to make time for love might help with his search. If you want to get on his or her date card, you need to move the process along from the initial email and find the time to put a real date on the calendar.

5. You’ve gone on too many first dates.

You’ve managed to pass the dating filters, sent a few emails and text messages back-and-forth, and the first phone call went well. You dined at a restaurant that you hoped might impress him or her. The process took about two weeks, but it seems you never graduate to a second date. While the reasons may vary, most include:

  • He or she didn’t look like their photo
  • There was no chemistry
  • He or she never called again
  • He or she didn’t respond to your text or email message

You thought the first date went well. They laughed at your jokes and said they’d like to see you again.  You spent precious resources of time and money on the dating process with no return on your investment.

Yes, dating can be expensive, but you don’t need to dine at the Four Seasons to impress someone. These days, it’s not unhip to use a deal-of-the-day coupon or Groupon for a dating idea, providing you’re not only asking for two-for-one yogurt at $4.99. The result is, you’re wallet is now thin and you still find yourself alone on date night. You get frustrated with the process and end up with ODF.

If any of these five scenarios sound familiar, you’re not alone. Online dating fatigue is very real. Sometimes you need to take a break, other times you need to fine tune your profile or change your parameters and habits. At the end of the digital day, there are over 120 million singles in the world looking for love online. Not everyone suffers from online dating fatigue.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert, social media strategist and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Connect with Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

Add Some Fireworks to Your Relationship This 4th of July

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So your relationship status is listed as a “dud.” Does that mean you should accept your ho-hum love life or are you ready to ignite some fireworks to kick-off the summer holiday?

At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we’ve decided to help you ramp up your search with a wonderful 20% HOLIDAY Savings! But we’re only limiting this offer to TEN lucky people.




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SAVE over $150 on your package now from July 1 – 6, 2011 and sign up for our Signature IRRESISTIBLE Online Dating Profile Makeover package.

As you know, I’m passionate  about helping singles find love both online and offline. I also happen to love holiday weekends. It’s the time to ramp up your flirting techniques and mingle with singles all weekend long.

While fireworks will be in the sky throughout America, what about the fireworks and passion in your love life? Don’t you deserve to have a spark ignited?

That’s right. No gimmicks, no long term commitment. One very special PRIVATE coaching session that will change the direction of your love life. Let the next holiday fireworks be your very own in the arms of someone very special.

  • 20-minute Phone or Skype Consultation
  • Personalized Dating Assessment
  • Customized Online Dating Profile from Scratch or Makeover
  • Includes a NEW Catchy Screen Name
  • New Bio With the Perfect Word Count
  • One Personalized Matching Search
  • 30-Days Unlimited eMail Support to help you before, during, and after your dates.

*Don’t wait as this offer is valid for the FIRST 10 People who sign up and will sadly expire on July 6th at midnight when the price will revert back to the regular rate.

Sign up now and let the next Cyber Love Story of the Week be your own.




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*Coaching Packages are non-refundable

Cyber Monday Special – Irresistible Online Dating Profiles

CDEThanksgivinglogo 150x150No Cyber Monday would be complete without a special offer from CyberDatingExpert.com.

To celebrate the holiday season and to show our gratitude, we are including at no additional charge one online dating personal search. That’s right. It’s a $250 value.

We’re so sure that you’ll love our irresistible online dating profiles and coaching programs, that we’ll hold your hand while looking for love online and play the official matchmaker.

Irresistible Dating Coaching Programs

You’re one step close to finding a date or a mate and having your very own Irresistible Online Dating profile.

The holidays are here, and we’ll help you find your dream date. Irresistible Coaching plans are for both busy women and men who would like to be in a relationship. Select from one of our three popular plans and you’ll be one step closer to finding the man or woman of your dreams.

1. THE FLIRT

Already online? Get an online dating profile critique and makeover that will help you become a man magnet and attract more quality dates. **Plus our Cyber Monday Special includes a free online dating personal search. Value $250.

Click below to sign up for The Flirt Plan

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2. GOING STEADY

Complete brand new online dating profile, including a personal dating analysis, catchy screen name, a new bio/headline, and a profile guaranteed ramp up your dating life. Includes a private and personalized online dating search and tips on how to write an introduction email and reply. **Cyber Monday Special includes an additional personal online dating search. Value $250.

Click below to Sign up for the Going Steady Plan

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3. TOTALLY IN LOVE

Are you ready to put all ten toes in? Totally in love is our most comprehensive package for busy singles. Includes all of the above, plus ongoing email support for 30-days, plus an autographed copy of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. This has become our most popular service. After all, everyone needs a little extra hand holding. Nervous about your upcoming date? Not sure what to wear? Need a list of first-date conversation starters? Then this plan is for you. **Cyber Monday Special includes an additional personal online dating search.

Click Below to sign up for Totally in Love Plan

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Here’s what they’re saying about Julie Spira’s IRRESISTIBLE Coaching.

“Julie Spira’s dating advice has changed my life and led to dozens and dozens of dates!” ~Robin-48

“With Julie Spira’s help and coaching, I was able to find more quality women to write to online.” ~Dean-35

“I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t attracting quality men online. With Julie’s suggested changes, the type of guys that have reached out to me have greatly improved.”~Brady-25

“Julie Spira helped me create a new Internet dating profile that described me in a better way to attract more quality men.” ~Janice -56

*Use Internet Explorer or Firefox browsers to pay for your plan
*All sales are final and are non-refundable

Irresistible Online Dating Profiles

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Welcome to our Irresistible Dating Coaching Programs.

You’re one step close to finding a date or a mate and having your very own Irresistible Online Dating profile.

We’re here to help you find your dream date while looking for love online. Irresistible Coaching plans are for both busy women and men who would like to be in a relationship. Select from one of our three popular plans and you’ll be one step closer to finding the man or woman of your dreams. Contact us for your free dating assessment profile.

THE FLIRT

Already online? Get an online dating profile critique and makeover that will help you become a man magnet and attract more quality dates. Click here to get started.

GOING STEADY

Complete brand new online dating profile, including a personal dating analysis, catchy screen name, a new bio/headline, and a profile guaranteed ramp up your dating life. Includes a private and personalized online dating search and tips on how to write an introduction email and reply. Click here to get started.

TOTALLY IN LOVE

Are you ready to put all ten toes in? Totally in love is our most comprehensive affordable package for busy singles. Includes all of the above, plus ongoing email support for 14-days, plus an autographed copy of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. This has become our most popular service. After all, everyone needs a little extra hand holding. Nervous about your upcoming date? Not sure what to wear? Need a list of first-date conversation starters? Then this plan is for you. Click here to get started.

DIGITAL MATCHMAKER

Need help taking your love life from online to offline? Not sure how to reply to email? Overwhelmed with the amount of matches, but not sure who to select? The Digital Matchmaker is our most comprehensive and personalized package for busy singles. You’ll have private coaching with online dating expert Julie Spira in her famous Online Dating BootCamp. Through emails, texts, and Skype interviews, we’ll select the best dates for yourConsider this your personal Wing Girl for your love life. Price available with private consulation.

Here’s what they’re saying about Julie Spira’s IRRESISTIBLE Coaching.

“Julie Spira’s dating advice has changed my life and led to dozens and dozens of dates!” ~Robin-48

“With Julie Spira’s help and coaching, I was able to find more quality women to write to online.” ~Dean-35

“I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t attracting quality men online. With Julie’s suggested changes, the type of guys that have reached out to me have greatly improved.”~Brady-25

“Julie Spira helped me create a new Internet dating profile that described me in a better way to attract more quality men.” ~Janice -56

*Use Internet Explorer or Firefox browsers to pay for your plan
*All sales are final and are non-refundable