It was an emotionally charged fun digital conversation on #DateChat with our guest host and relationship expert Stephan Labossiere @StephanSpeaks. We reached almost 25 million timeline deliveries with over a 1.2 million reach.
Our topic was digital cheating. Whether it’s flirty text messages, chatting on Facebook, or swiping on Tinder, what defines emotional cheating online?
Some who were with us on #DateChat felt that you should share passwords with your significant other. Others have felt betrayed by someone they were dating when they found suggestive text messages. Some feel flirting is fine, as long as you don’t take it offline.
Where do you cross the line between casual flirting and something that could damage your relationship?
Our Storify below highlights some of the tweets.
Join us next Thursday, March 5, 2015 at 5pm/PT, 8p/ET for #DateChat with guest host Serena Ehrlich @Serena.
Our topic will be starting over online. We’ll be talking about becoming newly single and the challenges of using online dating sites. Please do join us!
Join us for another fun and exciting #DateChat on Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 5p/PT, 8p/ET as we tackle the subject of digital cheating and relationships. Is flirting on Facebook or Twitter considered emotional cheating?
Just what is emotional cheating and how can you use social media to enhance your relationship without crossing the line?
This week our guest host is my friend Stephan Lobossiere, a man who’s on a mission to make relationships happier and more fulfilling. Make sure you follow him on Twitter @StephanSpeaks before #DateChat begins.
Stephan is a certified relationship coach, speaker and author. He’ll be giving away copies of his book, God Where is my Boaz? to two lucky #DateChat participants.
Stephan seizes every opportunity to help both men and women overcome the challenges that hinder their relationships. From understanding the opposite sex, to navigating the paths and avoiding the pitfalls of relationships and self-growth, Stephan’s relationship advice and insight helps countless individuals achieve an authentically amazing life. Stephan empowers millions to take charge of the difficult situations standing in the way of the life and love they seek and to make impactful changes on a daily basis and we’re thrilled to have his input on this week’s #DateChat.
With an international following of singles and couples alike, the name Stephan Labossiere is synonymous with breaking down relationship barriers, pushing past common facades, and exposing the truth. It is this understanding of REAL relationships that he brings to everyone he encounters.
Stephan’s a busy guy and we’re thrilled to have one hour of his time on #DateChat on February 26, 2015 at 5p/PT, 8p/ET. Make sure to tell your friends!
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Join us for #DateChat on Thursday, February 19th at 5p/PT, 8p/ET with guest host Ken Page, author of the new book, Deeper Dating.
Ken will be discussing his new theories of finding love and successful dating that ditch the old school thought of looking prettier and playing hard to get.
It was an honor and joy to contribute to the online dating section of Ken’s new book.
He’ll also be giving away 2 FREE copies of his bestselling book to some lucky #DateChat participants.
If you’re Valentine’s Day was so-so or you were dateless, you won’t want to miss this week’s #DateChat.
Ready, Set, Tweet!
The beauty of online dating is that it’s available 24-hours a day and you can meet anyone from a neighbor with a mobile dating app to someone from another continent.
The fine folks at Zillow took a poll of the best cities to find love in 2015 by looking at locations with more than 250,000 residents.
This infographic below lists the best cities of eligible single men and women who could afford a night on the town based on:
- The percentage of singles.
- The percentage of singles who moved to town in the past year.
- The median disposable income among single residents (median income minus median rent).
- The number of restaurants, movie theaters and other date spots per capita.
Based on that data, the 10 best cities for love are:
- Washington, DC
- St. Louis
- San Francisco
If your city isn’t on the list, perhaps it’s time to cast a wider net and expand your search by changing your zipcode.
If you’re in Washington, you’re in luck as that city ranks at the top of the list to find singles looking for love.
If you’re living in Los Angeles, why not seek out someone special in the Bay area? According to this list, San Francisco ranks at number 9 and is the only city on the west coast that made the list. If you can’t fathom even dating someone on another freeway, no need to fret.
Even though LA missed the top 10, the data shows it’s 58% single with 2.7% of that single population recently moving to town. We measured the number of date spots per capita and LA has 33 date spots per every 10,000 people, which is pretty high comparatively. Date spots include: restaurants, bars, nightclubs, coffee shops, live music hangouts, theaters and parks. The final metric was disposable income, LA has a median disposable income of $7,570 – lower than all of the top-ranked cities.
Would you date someone in another city or state? Would you move for love?
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Many thanks to those who came out to join the digital party for our Valentine’s #DateChat on February 12th.
If you missed #DateChat, here’s our transcript and recap with some dating advice to help you through Valentine’s weekend.
Our topic was Valentine’s Day: Love it or Hate it?
Don’t forget to join us again for #DateChat every Thursday at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET, where we’ll talk about dating, love and romance in a digital world with guest hosts and to answer your burning dating questions.
Thanks to those who helped spread the word in avance @DearMrsD, @LindaSherman, @kellyseal, @dirtyinpublic, @brucesallan, @GenConnect @YourTango @YTExperts @lovecolumnist, @badonlinedates, @dressforthedate, @threedayrule, @serena, @lorimoreno, @carmeliaray, @mscheevious, @melanie360, @seltzerkimberly, @tomfoolerytm, @ProjectQuinn, @MikeLindstrom, @MyLifeonMatch.
Congratulations to Starbucks gift card winners Josh Mellman, Fatima Lora, and Asia McKenzie!
Here’s our Storify recap followed by our transcript highlighting some of our favorite tweets.
Although online dating has been around for over 20 years, it’s no secret that online dating has become a pop-culture phenomenon over the last several years. Singles seem to be obsessed about their online dates and the quest for find their one in 40 million has become a daily activity.
According to a Pew Internet research study, the stigma of online dating has pretty much dissipated, with the majority of Americans thinking Internet dating is a good way to meet.
In fact, in 2011 Match.com reported that one in five relationships start online. While it may seem like a simple process- upload a photo, write a little bit about yourself and then find people who you “match” with- the psychology behind it is very interesting.
Mobile dating apps are all the rage with 66% of online daters saying they’ve gone on a date with someone they’ve met through a mobile app.
Here are some interesting facts you might not be aware of.
Evolutionary Psychology of Online Dating
One area of psychology that can be connected to online dating is evolutionary psychology. Evolutionary psychology attempts to explain useful mental and psychological traits, including perception of others.
As humans, we have a tendency to attribute positive characteristics like intelligence or honesty to those who we think are physically attractive. Evolutionary psychologists have argued that this may be because physical characteristics can be indicative of fertility and health, which are important to our survival and reproduction as a species. Research has also shown that couples tend to be similarly matched in attractiveness. In most cases, people determine whether a potential partner is attractive, evaluate whether they would be categorized as more, less or equally attractive and then decide whether to move forward based on this information. It’s all about psychology, people!
Lying and Deception
Another interesting topic regarding the evolutionary psychology of online dating is the topic of lying and deception. While 94% of online daters deny their profile contains any false advertising, I think most people can attest to the fact that that number is inflated. Why do people feel the need to lie on their profiles? And what type of repercussions could this have on their dating life when their date finds out about the fibs?
To learn more about the psychology behind online dating, check out this infographic from eLearners.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
This Valentine’s Day falls on a long holiday weekend and comes complete with a full moon, so if you’re thinking about leaning in for that first kiss, don’t be shy. A full moon can bring out the romance just about any time of the year.
We’re back with our Valentine’s Survival guide, complete with social media etiquette, fun date ideas, and are proud to share out latest interview in the New York Times about Tinder and mobile dating apps to ramp up your search to find that perfect Valentine.
With out further digital ado, here are some of our articles and dating tips to bring the love back in your life, or at least make sure that you’re not hiding under the covers on a holiday weekend.
From riding the Ferris Wheel to a scavenger hunt, find out why in-room-dining at home can be one of the most romantic ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day, regardless of your relationship status.
Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?
From Twitter to Facebook, Pinterest to Instagram, find out what to post, or not to post on your favorite social networks.
DON’T: Tag your new boyfriend on Facebook. Chances are he hasn’t told his buddies and work pals about his Valentine’s plans.
DO: Post a photo if you’ve received flowers, a fun gift, or of the dessert at dinner. Everyone loves to view the photos and will cheer you on with ‘likes.’
DON’T: Post your Happy Valentine’s message on your date’s wall. Saying you can’t wait until the evening together should remain private. Remember, a simple post may be innocent. However your friends might wonder what kind of wild night the two of you will be having. Or worse yet, his ex-girlfriend might start posting inappropriate comments to ruin your evening.
DO: Send a digital gift, such as his or her favorite band on iTunes, an e-card, or a redeemable gift card to a store or restaurant.
DON’T: Send a musical montage of ‘I Love You’ songs if you haven’t said those three little words yet.
DO: Ask for permission before you post anything online. Remember you’re creating a permanent digital footprint and your status and photos can be shared, even by people you don’t know.
DON’T: Overshare. Remember, many of your friends are single and may not be enjoying the day.
DO: Make an exciting announcement. If you become engaged on Valentine’s Day, your friends will want to know.
DON’T: Change your Facebook relationship status to ‘In a Relationship’ until both of you have had the talk and agree to be on the same digital page.
Do you have any social media rules for Valentine’s Day?
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam this Valentine’s.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and join us for #DateChat on Thursdays at 5pm/PT on Twitter.
Come one, come all to the Valentine’s session of #DateChat on Twitter.
On Thursday, February 12, 2015 we will tackle the subject of Valentine’s Day.
Questions we will be covering include:
Valentine’s Day. Do you love it, or hate it?
How to Handle Valentine’s Day if you’re in a new relationship?
Valentine’s Gift giving.
Can you still find a date for Valentine’s Day?
How to handle a Valentine’s breakup?
What was your best Valentine’s Day ever?
What was your worst Valentine’s Day ever?
Would you text an ex for Valentine’s Day?
If you’re single, are a dating blogger, or just want to hang out in a fun chat filled with dating advice, join us for #DateChat on Thursday at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET and make sure to head over to #DadChat at 6pm/PT, 9pm/ET where we continue the conversation about Valentine’s Day with Bruce Sallan.
Ready, set, and let’s tweet for your Valentine.
Join @JulieSpira for #DateChat on 2/12, 5p/PT, 8p/ET for #Valentines tips #dating http://www.cyberdatingexpert.com/datechat-valentines/
Don’t miss #DateChat on Thursday 2/12 at 5pm/PT for what to get your #Valentine http://www.cyberdatingexpert.com/datechat-valentines/
#ValentinesDay. Love it or hate it? Join @JulieSpira for #DateChat to tweet-and-tell 2/12. 5p/PT, 8p/ET http://www.cyberdatingexpert.com/datechat-valentines/
Recently at the iDate Conference, I presented Tinder with the award of Best Mobile Dating App of 2015.
This award was well-deserved, considering two years ago, Tinder wasn’t a household word like Match and eHarmony has been for years for online daters.
In an interview with The New York Times, I told reporter Molly Wood that the increase in smartphone usage directly relates to the increase in dating app usage.
“People are dating on the fly, they’re dating in real time, they’re hooking up or meeting for dates, they’re doing both. Same day, same hour.”
So how did a perceived hook-up app become the hottest trend for singles looking for love online?
1. They penetrated the college marketplace.
These early adopters paved the way for others to jump on the bandwagon. In time, the demographics started to rise and millions of users were playing the Tinder game.
2. They made it easy to create a profile.
With no long questions to answer and no profile approval process, all one has to is download the app, connect to Facebook where it pulls your age and photos on Facebook, and add a short bio if you desire, however many ignore filling out the profile.
3. Set your preferences for distance and age parameters
Since Tinder is location-based, once you log on, it searches for potential matches close by. If you travel out of town, you’ll receive a whole new set of matches to make sure you’re not lonely at night.
4. Let the swiping and matching begin
Quite simply, you swipe right if you’re attracted to someone and swipe left if you’re not. If both of you swipe right, then you’re notified that you’re a match and can start communicating in their private chat feature.
Online dating and mobile dating are a numbers game. The more often you swipe, the more often you’ll have the opportunity to be matched.
5. State Your Intentions
We are living in a world of swiping left and right and the habit has become the norm for other popular mobile dating apps. In order to be successful on Tinder, you must start swiping and become proactive about communicating with your matches. If you’re looking to find a relationship instead of a casual fling, you must fill out the information bio page and clearly state your dating intentions. Women find it refreshing when a man says, “Not looking for FWB or a hookup.”
At the iDate conference, it was pointed out by Mark Brooks from Courtland Brooks that only 8% of women were swiping right while viewing profiles of men. Men on the other hand were swiping right as often as possible, with the hopes that they can be matched.
Tinder reports over 1 billion swipes a day and matches over 12 million people a day. But are they actually meeting IRL?
An interesting trend that we are noticing is that a lot of men are posting their age on Tinder as 100 years old. The trend of not honestly stating your age in online dating has been around for years, but to become a centurion on Tinder means you’ll have to change your age on your Facebook profile. There’s no way to change your age on Tinder. Facebook makes it difficult to change your age and discourages this process by limiting the amount of times you can do so. Still, I encourage truth-in-advertising.
As I told The New York Times, people who are using Tinder are also using other dating sites, sometimes paying for memberships. Having easy access to lots of different dates actually increases your odds of eventually finding a match. It’s making dates happen a lot more quickly and the more dates you go on, the better daters you become. Let mobile dating apps become your new best friend.
Are you swiping right on multiple mobile dating apps?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and mobile dating. Julie’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT. Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: Fotolia
It’s official! Singles are so attached to their mobile phones, that the sound of the chirping at night will actually wake them up to find out if their digital crush is sending a good night text saying, “Sweet dreams” to help them sleep better.
In the 5th Annual Singles in America Study released by Match, they focus on digital dating habits of 5,675 singles in the U.S. between the ages of 18 to 70+.
The study showed that singles looking for love online go on more dates than those who meet in bars or offline with online daters going on an average of 4.2 dates in 2014, as compared to offline daters who went on an average of 2.8 dates.
According to the study, 82% of singles went on a date in 2014 with someone they met online, as compared to 49% of those who were dating offline. The study also stated that online daters are looking for a more committed relationship, are more likely to be more educated, and have full time jobs.
While this makes a lot of sense with the huge dating pool and the focused activity of logging on daily to look for a date, as compared to going out organically, it reinforces what we already know: Online dating is efficient. It’s available 24-hours a day and if you take advantage of the matching features of many dating sites, you will be able to fill up your date card.
Since 60% of singles log onto social networking sites for an average of one-hour per day, start liking the posts of someone you might have a digital crush on, remember to use spell-check and grammar check, and mind your texting manners to capture his or her heart.
Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Men to Women
1. Do post photos
2. Don’t text more than once before a reply
3. Do post sexy texts
4. Don’t text during work hours
5. Do post emoticons
6. Don’t post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)
Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Women to Men
1. Do post photos
2. Don’t post sexy texts
3. Do post emoticons
4. Don’t post sexy photos
5. Do post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)
6. Don’t text more than once before a reply
Full report and details at SinglesinAmerica.com
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profile over 20 years ago. Julie’s the host of #DateChat on Thursdays at 5pm/PT on Twitter and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.