In this video on Your Tango’s Quickie Series, we tackle the subject of the guy who only wants to text you for a date, or in between.
The problem many women have with this is they don’t want to fall into the category of booty call or be uncertain about their relationship status.
While I believe texting can be fun in a relationship, when your guy says, “Thinking of u” or you say “Can’t wait for your delicious kisses,” too many women complain that their boyfriends won’t pick up the phone and call.
Here’s the truth ladies: Most guys don’t really like to talk on the phone. They’ll call to make you happy, if you let them know it means a lot to you. Otherwise, get ready for showing up on a date after being sent a text with the date and time of your next rendezvous. Watch our video to help him go from casual to crazy about you, online and IRL.
But if you tell him the sound of his sexy voice helps you fall asleep with a smile on your face, you just might get this text-happy guy to pick up the phone.
Are you in a text only relationship?
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
The new you starts here at the Beverly Center Location on July 17th from 6p-8p.
Summer’s the perfect time to freshen up your look. Join us at bebe for Girls’ Night Out and a makeover that will grab attention online. You’ll get a flirty new style and personalized tips to use on your next date.
But that’s not all: Professionals from Sexy Hair will be styling hair for FREE! Grab the on-site photographer for a few “after” headshots to use in your dating profile!
Event treats include:
- Drinks and appetizers
- bebe’s summer clothing collection to try on
- Advice from dating coach Julie Spira, founder of Cyber-Dating Expert (Yes, that’s me!)
- 20% off all regular-priced merchandise purchased at event*
On Facebook or Twitter? Snap a selfie afterwards and share it with hashtag #sexysummer. RSVP today for only $10.
I look forward to seeing you there!
Together, they’ve launched a new online dating site called MensaMatch.
Singles are always saying that being with someone smart is sexy. The Match Singles in America study found that 80% of singles say they “must have” or find it “very important” to be with someone of the same intelligence level.
On the Match blog, Dr. Helen Fisher, Match’s Chief Scientific Advisor says, “Why do we want a smart partner? Because intelligence is correlated with many benefits, including: higher income; sense of humor; creativity; social skills; coordination; and problem solving. These are sexy. People everywhere gravitate to smart lovers, because an intelligent partner comes with a host of sexy perks.”
Before you jump to take the Mensa test, now through July 6, 2014, you can take the Mensa home practice test for only $1 to see if you might have the chance to qualify to become a member of Mensa. Visit https://www.us.mensa.org/join/mht/ and Use Promo Code MATCHSUMMER14.
If you’re already a member of Mensa, as a Match member, you can now add an elite badge to your profile to express your interest in the High IQ organization. It’s quite possible you’ve already taken the Mensa test while in school, so if you have your scores handy, they can be used to join the MensaMatch. Otherwise, take two hours and after a good night’s sleep try the test on your own.
If you’re a tad shy from becoming a member of Mensa, don’t fret. Keep using key words such as intelligent, smart, and educated in your profiles and make sure to list your advanced degrees, should have a diploma to prove it.
If you’re in the 98% of those who crave intelligence without being a Mensa member, to look for smart singles, check out the profiles in these top 20 cities of the smartest singles in the U.S. with the highest percentage of Ivy League graduates.
- Durham, NC
- North Alamos, NM
- Ithaca, NY
- Washington, DC
- Ann Arbor, MI
- Charlottesville, VA
- Santa Fe, NM
- Boulder, CO
- Starkville, MS
- Vernon, TX
- New York, NY
- Oxford, MS
- Boston, MA
- Gainesville, FL
- Las Vegas, NV
- Bridgeport, CT
- Trenton, NJ
- San Jose, CA
- San Francisco, CA
- Taos, NM
Photo credit: Fotolia.com
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love on the Internet for two decades. For online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Cyber Dating Expert Weekly Flirt.
Need help with your online dating profile or decoding those cryptic text messages? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.
It’s with great enthusiasm to let you know that I’ve been asked to participate in the Los Angeles Great Love Debate on July 17th at the Pacific Design Center.
On July 17th
Over 400 of Southern California’s most dynamic singles will be at the
Silver Screen Theater @ Pacific Design Center
to take part in
WHY IS EVERYONE STILL SINGLE?
Don’t miss a night of guys, gals, great guests, giveaways… and pre & post show parties catered by Wolfgang Puck!
Tickets on sale at http://LoveLA.eventbrite.com
FIRST 50 PEOPLE TO USE PROMO CODE JS10 SAVE $10!
THIS EVENT WILL SELL OUT, NO TICKETS AVAILABLE AT THE DOOR!
Doors open at 6:30pm for cocktails, Showtime is 7:30pm
“Meet, Greet, Mix, Mingle, & Match” after-party immediately follows!
Register now with promo code JS10 to save $10 before it sells out!
See you there!
The good news is summer officially starts on Saturday, so you can celebrate the Summer Solstice all weekend long.
Here are ten of the best summertime first date ideas that won’t break the bank, nor will it put too much pressure on a date with someone new.
Happy dating and enjoy the sunshine!
1. Ride the Ferris Wheel.
Go to an amusement park and ride the Ferris Wheel or even the roller coaster, if you dare.
2. Find a free outdoor concert.
Bring a picnic meal and a blanket and take in the sounds of local artists. Some museums and parks actually have well-known musicians.
3. Watch an outdoor movie.
While drive-in theaters have become obsolete, the trend of watching movies on a big screen at a shopping center or local park has become all the rage.
Make sure to go grocery shopping together to spice up the date. Cooking together can be filled with laughter. Don’t forget to pick up chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers to make s’mores for dessert.
5. Go on a bike ride.
Make it more memorable by renting a bicycle built for two! Remember to take photos and of course, ask for permission before posting to Instagram.
6. Take a Beach Yoga Class.
Yoga is sexy on a date. Remember to bring your sunscreen. If you don’t live near a beach, check out the many outdoor classes in a park.
7. Take a cooking Class.
Stores such as Sur le Table nationwide have cooking classes on their calendar. If you can’t find one near you, check out the local universities and colleges or a MeetUp group for foodies.
8. Snack at the Food Trucks.
Many neighborhoods have a food truck day. Find out which day or night they’ll be parked in your neighborhood. From the healthy green truck to a spicy Mexican cuisine, there’s a favorite truck for every type of palate.
9. Go to a baseball game.
It’s the season for America’s favorite past time. Nibble on peanuts and Cracker Jack and enjoy the 7th inning stretch. Check the MLB.com website for dates and times. Not in a baseball city, find a minor league game near you.
10. Go to a zoo.
It’s fun to feed the animals at the zoo Take it a step further and walk into the petting zoo and spend time with the llamas and sheep.
Don’t forget to memorialize your fun outdoor date by snapping photos. Who knows, you just might end up with a nice kiss at the end of the date to add to your digital memory book.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs to help them find love offline.
Even though Father’s Day is a recent memory, it’s good to point out that single and divorced dads are quite active on online dating sites.
As a matter of fact, Match reports that 30% of their male subscribers are indeed single dads. PlentyofFish tells us that almost 45% of single men in the United States on their site who are between the ages of 30 and 50 are single dads!
So what’s the secret to blending your dating life and dating a single dad?
1. Communication. Talking about your relationship with your children is the most important part of dating a single or divorced parent. Some single dads have split schedules with their children and others are full-time dads. Some have children in college and some even have grandchildren. Talking about your schedules, when to introduce them to someone you’re dating and your long-term goals about staying single or blending a family should happen in the early stages of dating.
2. Tell, don’t post. While your kids are a priority, posting photos of them in your primary dating photo is not recommended. Instead, mention in the body of your profile the ages of your children and how important they are in your life.
3. Respect the calendar. Be understanding of his schedule. Remember, a single dad is juggling kids activities, carpooling the children back to their mother’s home, and possibly a demanding work schedule, while still trying to find time to date. When it comes to to big holiday events, you just might need to celebrate with him on a different date.
4. Love, but don’t parent. There should be an endless amount of love for all children, but when they aren’t your own, resist the urge to discipline and become a parent. Show them love and kindness and make sure it’s not your goal to steal his heart away from his children. It’s not a competition to see who ranks higher on the totem pole. It’s about adding joy to their lives, when the time is right.
The good news is that single dads are 46% more likely to meet someone on their dating site as compared to men without children, according to Match.
When are the guys most often searching for love online?
Match reports that single dads log on most often between 6:00am and 9:00am in the morning before their workday begins.
The good news is that more than half of single dads will email single moms than men without children. Single dads spend time in the trenches with their kids, so they will tend to be more empathetic to your family schedule as well.
Are you a single dad looking for love online?
Find out how our Irresistible Profiles can help you find your dream date.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and helps singles who are looking for love online and IRL. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
What’s more fun that finding love and going to a fun Hollywood party when you’re single?
Our friends at Cupid.com are hosting a screening for singles to the film Coherence in Los Angeles for some of their lucky members the night before it opens and they’ve asked us to spread the word for them!
In their Set Love Free promotion, Cyber-Dating Expert readers will get to attend this event for one of the best sci-fi films of the year.
If you sign up now and for tickets to the pre-screening of the Coherence movie, you also get invited to their private pre-party, with some cast members and free food and drinks.
About Coherence the movie:
On the night of an astrological anomaly, eight friends at a dinner party experience a troubling chain of reality bending events. Part cerebral sci-fi and part relationship drama, this film is a tightly focused, intimately shot film that quickly ratchets up with tension and mystery.
Watch the Trailer
Here are the details:
Where: Pre-Party: Good Luck Bar, 1514 Hillhurst Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90026; Screening: Vista Theatre, 4473 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA
When: Thursday, June 19, 2014; Party at 5:30pm, Screening at 7:30pm
Why: Because Cupid.com is launching in Los Angeles!
RSVP: http://www.evite.com/event/0355VMUVMIAQ6I7C6EPD3GX2XP5VBI before it fills up!
Cyber-Dating Expert is working with Cupid.com as a paid spokesperson for their #SetLoveFree program.
The reasons why online dating works so well is that that 50% of the 111 million singles in the United States are dating online and that it’s available 24 hours a day. Add in the fact that dating sites have mobile apps, finding love from your cell phone means you can date on the fly. The reason that online dating fails for many is that they aren’t taking a proactive approach to the process. If you just post a few photos, a bio, and who your perfect date should be and wait for someone to find you, your date card won’t be filling up fast.
Singles are obsessed about how people date and how to find decent dates, no matter what city they live in. However, most singles struggling to find love think their city is the worst to find a compatible mate.
A beautiful woman in her 40s who I’ve been coaching thinks online dating takes too long to find a good guy. She was frustrated that she only had two dates in one week and that men weren’t writing to her. Her first date didn’t work out, as he told her before even meeting her that she should take her profile down so they could date exclusively. It was too much too fast, so she realized he wasn’t her guy and they never met. While she liked her second date, he never called her again. Finding two dates in one week, whether they advance to a second date or not is not a bad statistic for online dating. This is actually the normal dating process.
The reason it’s taking her too long to find dates is because she believes it’s improper for a woman to contact a man. She wasn’t using the tools to benefit from the algorithms that the site provided. After one month of online dating, she wondered what she was doing wrong and why it wasn’t working. While she “liked” and “favorited” a few guys she saw on Match, she waited for them to write back to her so she could be pursued in an old-fashioned traditional way.
What she didn’t understand is that everyone’s digital dating behaviors and patterns vary. Some men will only read emails from women and don’t use all of the features of the sites. Others only look at photos. They may not look to see who has viewed them, hot listed them, winked, flirted, or liked their photos. Dating is a two-way street. Men are trained to be the pursuers, but when they get frustrated when they don’t receive responses online from women, they slack off a bit. When women take a passive approach to online dating it simply just doesn’t work.\
Ossa Fisher, Match.com’s SVP of Strategy & Analytics defines this dating type as a “Cherry Picker,” or one who has a hard time finding a date because they put a beautiful profile out there and sit and wait. Even though finding love is a priority, a cherry picker doesn’t take matters into their own hands.
Many dating sites have sophisticated algorithms. When I visited Match.com’s headquarters recently, we talked about their dating algorithms. The only way these algorithms work to help you find a compatible date is to make sure you are an active user of the dating site. Simply put, the more often you log on, the more data the site receives on your likes, dislikes, and communications.
Fisher states the only way to maximize your experience on dating sites is to be truly engaged in the process. She says that compared to Match users who haven’t met someone, those who have met someone sent 30% more likes, favorited 26% more users, and responded to 3-7% more messages. They were clearly engaged in the process.
If the “Cherry Picker” starts writing short emails to five to ten men a day, the results will be dramatic. Men will be flattered to receive her email and many will most likely pursue her. You see guys get frustrated too with the process since they write to so many women who don’t respond. By initiating an email to a guy, you’re not losing your femininity, you’re just showing that you’re confident enough to reach out to a guy.
Modern day dating must include a proactive approach and it’s time to toss the old dating rules out the window. This is no different than looking for your dream job. The digital playground is crowded, but the possibilities are huge and have never been better for singles looking for love online.
At the end of the digital day, online dating is a numbers game. You need to play to win.
Julie Spira is a top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
It’s time to put the digital DJ hat on and select a romantic love song for the week.
Today the Allman Brothers announced that they will be retiring. This band from Macon Georgia has been playing music for over four decades.
We’re pleased to share one of our favorites, just in time for the warm weather.
So grab your loved ones and turn up the volume to Blue Sky and smack a kiss on the lips and say, “You’re my Blue Sky, You’re My Sunny Day.”
What’s your favorite summer romance song? Listen to our other Cyber Love Songs.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the founder of Cyber- Dating Expert. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and helps singles find their one in 4o million.
For those of you who watch the MTV series, ‘Catfish,’ you might be familiar with this scenario.
Imagine if you met your dream guy online or on a social media site. You spend hours and hours a day chatting online and through instant messenger, but you haven’t taken your relationship offline?
Is he or she stalling or is there someone else behind that photo and computer keyboard?
Here are some signs to look out for while dating online.
1. A Catfish is someone who creates a completely different persona online than who they are offline.
2. You may hear his or her voice, but you never have the chance to meet IRL.
3. You believe you’re in a relationship, but you may be in love with the possibilities of a future with him or her.
4. Your date sends photos that look too good to be true; almost too perfect like a stock image photo.
5. You ask your date to set up a video date on SKYPE or Facetime, but they come up with excuses why they can’t.
6. Your date schedules and cancels dates repeatedly with excuses of work, love, or medical problems.
Tips if You Think You’re Dating a Catfish
If you aren’t sure if your date is for real or not, use Google Image search and upload their profile photo to see if their photo appears anywhere else on the Internet.
At the end of the digital day, remember to trust your intuition, take your time and make sure you have the opportunity to meet the person in real life if you really want a relationship.
Are you dating someone online that you haven’t met offline? Share your story here.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and helps singles select the best dating sites, mobile apps, and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.