It’s with great enthusiasm to announce that my friend Serena Ehrlich, known to most of you as @Serena on Twitter, will be co-hosting #DateChat on Thursday, March 5th at 5p/PT, 8p/ET.
This week’s topic will be Starting over Online: What to do when you’re newly single. How do you navigate online dating, not get frustrated with Tinder, OkCupid, and find quality dates online. We’ll be talking about the best dates, worst dates, and how to get noticed online.
We’ll also be talking about the new Tinder Plus: The Premium service just launched by Tinder for $9.99/month.
We know everyone is swiping left and right on Tinder, but are they really meeting up IRL? How can Tinder be successful now that they plan to monetize their app with ads for free users, while allowing paid users to go back and find that swipe made in error to the left and cast a wider net by allowing users to search in other cities and countries?
Meet our Co-host: Serena
Serena Ehrlich, Director of Social and Evolving Media, is responsible for Business Wire’s internal and external content marketing, ranging from PR programming to social media updates to content development and amplification. With more than 20 years of experience in the content distribution industry, Serena understands both sides of the content and news industry – from creating compelling content that activates audiences, to understanding how distribution can amplify and impact news results.
A 1991 graduate of Brandeis University, Serena is also the membership chair of the international Social Media Club and is a past board member of the Dallas and Los Angeles local NIRI (National Investor Relations Institute) boards of directors.
How to join us for #DateChat
It’s easy to join us for #DateChat. You can just search for the keyword of #DateChat on Twitter, hootsuite, tweetdeck or other social media management software, or take it a step further and go to TweetChat.com or Nurph.com and type in the hashtag of #DateChat. Both TweetChat and Nurph will show you the entire conversation of #DateChat users without having to type in the hashtag on each tweet. Make sure you’re also following @Serena and @JulieSpira.
Last week, we had a great conversation on #DateChat with guest host @StephanSpeaks. Here are some highlights for your viewing pleasure.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat every Thursday on Twitter at 5p/PT, 8p/ET. Julie was an early adopter of online dating, having created her first profile over 20 years ago. Today she helps singles on the dating scene with Irresistible Profiles for dating sites and helps them swipe right every day on Tinder.
The beauty of online dating is that it’s available 24-hours a day and you can meet anyone from a neighbor with a mobile dating app to someone from another continent.
The fine folks at Zillow took a poll of the best cities to find love in 2015 by looking at locations with more than 250,000 residents.
This infographic below lists the best cities of eligible single men and women who could afford a night on the town based on:
- The percentage of singles.
- The percentage of singles who moved to town in the past year.
- The median disposable income among single residents (median income minus median rent).
- The number of restaurants, movie theaters and other date spots per capita.
Based on that data, the 10 best cities for love are:
- Washington, DC
- St. Louis
- San Francisco
If your city isn’t on the list, perhaps it’s time to cast a wider net and expand your search by changing your zipcode.
If you’re in Washington, you’re in luck as that city ranks at the top of the list to find singles looking for love.
If you’re living in Los Angeles, why not seek out someone special in the Bay area? According to this list, San Francisco ranks at number 9 and is the only city on the west coast that made the list. If you can’t fathom even dating someone on another freeway, no need to fret.
Even though LA missed the top 10, the data shows it’s 58% single with 2.7% of that single population recently moving to town. We measured the number of date spots per capita and LA has 33 date spots per every 10,000 people, which is pretty high comparatively. Date spots include: restaurants, bars, nightclubs, coffee shops, live music hangouts, theaters and parks. The final metric was disposable income, LA has a median disposable income of $7,570 – lower than all of the top-ranked cities.
Would you date someone in another city or state? Would you move for love?
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Although online dating has been around for over 20 years, it’s no secret that online dating has become a pop-culture phenomenon over the last several years. Singles seem to be obsessed about their online dates and the quest for find their one in 40 million has become a daily activity.
According to a Pew Internet research study, the stigma of online dating has pretty much dissipated, with the majority of Americans thinking Internet dating is a good way to meet.
In fact, in 2011 Match.com reported that one in five relationships start online. While it may seem like a simple process- upload a photo, write a little bit about yourself and then find people who you “match” with- the psychology behind it is very interesting.
Mobile dating apps are all the rage with 66% of online daters saying they’ve gone on a date with someone they’ve met through a mobile app.
Here are some interesting facts you might not be aware of.
Evolutionary Psychology of Online Dating
One area of psychology that can be connected to online dating is evolutionary psychology. Evolutionary psychology attempts to explain useful mental and psychological traits, including perception of others.
As humans, we have a tendency to attribute positive characteristics like intelligence or honesty to those who we think are physically attractive. Evolutionary psychologists have argued that this may be because physical characteristics can be indicative of fertility and health, which are important to our survival and reproduction as a species. Research has also shown that couples tend to be similarly matched in attractiveness. In most cases, people determine whether a potential partner is attractive, evaluate whether they would be categorized as more, less or equally attractive and then decide whether to move forward based on this information. It’s all about psychology, people!
Lying and Deception
Another interesting topic regarding the evolutionary psychology of online dating is the topic of lying and deception. While 94% of online daters deny their profile contains any false advertising, I think most people can attest to the fact that that number is inflated. Why do people feel the need to lie on their profiles? And what type of repercussions could this have on their dating life when their date finds out about the fibs?
To learn more about the psychology behind online dating, check out this infographic from eLearners.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the host of #DateChat on Twitter on Thursdays at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
It’s official! Singles are so attached to their mobile phones, that the sound of the chirping at night will actually wake them up to find out if their digital crush is sending a good night text saying, “Sweet dreams” to help them sleep better.
In the 5th Annual Singles in America Study released by Match, they focus on digital dating habits of 5,675 singles in the U.S. between the ages of 18 to 70+.
The study showed that singles looking for love online go on more dates than those who meet in bars or offline with online daters going on an average of 4.2 dates in 2014, as compared to offline daters who went on an average of 2.8 dates.
According to the study, 82% of singles went on a date in 2014 with someone they met online, as compared to 49% of those who were dating offline. The study also stated that online daters are looking for a more committed relationship, are more likely to be more educated, and have full time jobs.
While this makes a lot of sense with the huge dating pool and the focused activity of logging on daily to look for a date, as compared to going out organically, it reinforces what we already know: Online dating is efficient. It’s available 24-hours a day and if you take advantage of the matching features of many dating sites, you will be able to fill up your date card.
Since 60% of singles log onto social networking sites for an average of one-hour per day, start liking the posts of someone you might have a digital crush on, remember to use spell-check and grammar check, and mind your texting manners to capture his or her heart.
Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Men to Women
1. Do post photos
2. Don’t text more than once before a reply
3. Do post sexy texts
4. Don’t text during work hours
5. Do post emoticons
6. Don’t post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)
Texting Etiquette Dos and Dont’s from Single Women to Men
1. Do post photos
2. Don’t post sexy texts
3. Do post emoticons
4. Don’t post sexy photos
5. Do post slang (LOL, OMG, etc.)
6. Don’t text more than once before a reply
Full report and details at SinglesinAmerica.com
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profile over 20 years ago. Julie’s the host of #DateChat on Thursdays at 5pm/PT on Twitter and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Sometimes it’s great to be impulsive and go on a last minute date, but in the case of this female dater, she would have been better off if she had gone with a friend or knew her date better before their first concert date.
Wondering what happened? Read the latest entry to the Peril of the Week and find out why this date went south.
This past week, I had an amazing opportunity to see one of the world’s most iconic musicians, Stevie Wonder in concert. But I needed someone to go with. On a whim, I mentioned this to someone I was chatting with on OK Cupid. He jumped at the chance to go.
I did have hesitations on whether or not to go to a concert on a first date but given the superstar playing, I simply assumed there would be enough going on to make even the most awkward date, ok.
I was wrong.
After arriving an hour late, my date suggested I drive to the venue, and could we stop for beers in advance. While I don’t drink, I do understand the importance of the pre-party so I obliged.
Unfortunately, my date decided this would be a great time to down several 20 oz. beers, and this was all before he pulled out the 5th of generic whiskey to wash it down. At this point, he shared with me that he had just started drinking again this year and we hadn’t even gone into the concert yet.
Once inside the venue, my date was determined to get us backstage.
If you know me, you know how much I love this. All you have to do is figure out where the easiest way is to get on the floor and head that way. Right?
No. Not for my date. Perhaps it was the alcohol at this point, but let’s just label this endeavor a mistake.
We did find better seats though, maybe not the floor, but certainly better than our last row tickets. But this was not enough for my date and the mood was set for the concert and the mood was not fun.
Imagine being seated next to someone exceptionally hyper, very buzzed and wanting more than what we have. It was not fun…so not fun that half way through the show, I suggested we leave.
I still can’t believe that a 47-year old man chugged three 20 oz. beers and then pulled out a flask of Old Grandad before walking into a concert for a first date.
Do you have a story for the Peril of the Week?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of the Internet and online dating. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter, and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Photo credit: Fotolia
It’s exactly one month until Valentine’s Day. If you’re single, there’s no need to hide under the covers. If you’re dating someone, but he hasn’t asked you to be his Valentine just yet, here are some tips to enjoy the day, regardless of your relationship status. Remember, Valentine’s is on a weekend this year and it’s also during President’s Day weekend, so think big and be optimistic.
1. Ramp up Your Online Search
Let’s face it, everyone seems to be online theses days, so if you’re not logging on EVERY day, checking your matches and responding quickly to his emails, some other girl just might get his attention faster. It’s true what they say that the squeaky wheel gets the deal. If you can carve out time to go to the gym, you should be able to schedule time to log on daily. Make sure you’ve signed up for notifications of when someone has emailed you or made you their favorite so you can respond quickly. Ditch the old waiting game rules. This is how the digital dating world words.
2. Keep Swiping Right
If you’re on Tinder, Hinge, or are using the mobile dating apps from your favorite online dating site, make more of an effort to log on and swipe right to your matches. It’s really a numbers game. Unless your match is advertising for a hookup or looks like an ax murderer, swipe right and take a moment to say hello. A guy will be flattered to see the notification that you’re digging him digitally. Remember to take your relationship from online to offline so you can meet IRL.
3. Attend Singles Events
The one thing about singles events is, everyone is in the same boat. They’re single and are hoping to connect with someone. Check out Match.com’s Stir events in your city, RSVP to a MeetUp for a subject you’re passionate about, and attend business networking events. The more you’re out there in the public, the more opportunities you have to flirt with a potential date. Remember not to be too coy. Be bold and smile. Dr. Pat Allen, author of
“Getting to I Do,” suggests the five-second stare. It may feel like an eternity, but it may bring you closer to that cute guy across the room. P.S. Remember to wear red! It’s the color of love and romance and is known to attract men.
4. Text an Ex
Did you know that 20% of singles do text an ex on or around Valentine’s Day? So if both of you are single, why not get together and go down memory lane. Make sure you’re on the same page and just enjoy the evening. You may not be rekindling, but the familiarity might just make it a fun evening rather than flying solo.
5. Don’t Go Overboard
From going to an amusement park to ride the Ferris Wheel to taking a cooking class or going ice skating, make Valentine’s Day a no-pressure experience if you’re in a new relationship and aren’t exclusive yet. There’s no need to break the bank.
Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?
Grab your BFF’s, dress in pink or red, and head to the movies or a concert together. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about love. It’s about spending quality time with someone you really like.
Are you a fan or foe of Valentine’s Day?
Photo credit: Fotolia
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Come one, come all to the Internet Dating Conference, the largest conference about online dating!
The 40th iDate Conference will be held at the Tropicana Hotel on January 20-22, 2015 and I’ll be on hand on three panels and will be presenting the Best Mobile Dating App at the iDate Awards on the evening of January 21st.
Here’s the rundown of events for Online Dating Expert Julie Spira
- Wednesday, January 21: CNN Panel: Focus on Content Marketing and Industry Trends – 3:30pm Cohiba 6 & 7
- Wednesday, January 21: iDate Awards – 7pm, Tropicana, Cohiba Ballroom 1
- Thursday, January 22: Essence Panel – How Date Experts on How to Use PR and Build Their Brand – 1:30pm
- Thursday, January 22: Final Debate: 4pm
For a $50 discount and to purchase tickets and register for iDate, click here.
View our video below for details on the panels.
I’ll see you in Las Vegas!
Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice.
From New Year’s resolutions including joining a gym, to joining an online dating site to find love in 2015 tops the list for many singles. Are you ready to join the world’s largest digital dating party?
Think about it. Some relationships ran their course and couples broke up before the holidays. Others hung in there until New Year’s and realized they were in a relationship that wouldn’t go the distance. Some singles made the decision after having another holiday alone that they’d make a better effort to find their soul mate.
While Sunday is known to be a busy day for logins on Internet dating sites, the first Sunday of the year is the busiest day for new members to take action with their love lives.
- According to PlentyofFish, 5pm, EST will break all the records with the most number of singles online at one time on the first Sunday of the year.
- POF adds that singles that sign up in January are 15% more likely to meet a significant other and that it will take single men approximately 10 weeks to meet a significant other and it will take single women approximately 8 weeks to couple up.
- The folks at Match.com agree that January 4th is the busiest day of the year for their site. Match reports a 38% increase in membership from December 26th through February 14th.
So whether you’re swiping right on Tinder or your mobile app or logging on to see your daily matches and who has viewed your profile, one thing is for sure. If you’re single and want to connect, you must have a digital dating strategy to help you stand out in the crowded playground.
Here are five tips for online dating in the New Year
- Change your Photos. I’m a big believer that a picture tells 1000 words. If you have the budget to hire a photographer, have him or her take photos of you in your natural environment. It’s an expense that might help you find your dream date.
- Create a New Catchy Screen Name. If you’re on a site which allows you to have a screen name or user name other than your first name, come up with something unique that describes your personality. Using your name and zip code isn’t very original or catchy. Some great names include anything athletic such as LovestoSki or YogaLover to anything artistic such as MusicLover or Drummer4U.
- Ask questions! Writing an online dating profile can be as bland as writing your resume while you’re job hunting. The difference is, you need to create an opportunity to open a dialog with your potential date. Describe things that you’d like to do together with someone as a couple and ask a question such as, I enjoy hiking in the Santa Monica Canyon. Have you ever been?
- Be proactive. They say the squeaky wheel gets the deal in business, but what about online? Too many women are afraid to contact a man because they think they will appear needy or desperate. I say, toss out those old rules. Men are flattered when they receive an email from a woman, so don’t wait, initiate.
- Be engaged. Whether you’re looking for a ring on your finger or just a date for Friday night, the more active that you are online, the more likely your profile will be raised to the top. Many sites give you tools to search for dates, opportunities to “like” photos, and send you emails with potential matches. The more you use these tools, the greater chance you have to fill up your date card.
If you need some help, our signature Irresistible Profiles and personalized dating coaching programs just might be exactly what you’re looking for in the New Year. We’ve helped singles around the world find love and look forward to helping you while looking for love online.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profiles over 20 years ago. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
It’s safe to say that emotions are flying high during the holidays for singles, new couples not sure how to define themselves, those who have had a recent breakup, and those who are tired of hearing from their relatives about their relationship status.
The holiday period from Thanksgiving to New Year’s brings up a lot of emotions. In the words of Fleetwood Mac’s Stevie Nicks from the song Dreams, it’s natural to think of memories of what you had and what you lost. The band also sings about how “You make loving fun” so don’t turn down the volume just yet. Listening to music this time of year can give you both strength and send you down memory lane.
One thing I know for sure, is my phone is ringing with singles wanting to connect and meet someone new to share the holidays with, so there are plenty of singles looking for love online now.
Still, I know how tough it is at the holidays being single. I’ve been there. I’ve been watching the abundance of posts on Facebook of couples who are changing their relationship status to “In a Relationship.” If your status isn’t that in that category, it can be a digital stab to your heart.
I’m here to tell you that this is actually the best time of year to meet someone wonderful to date. Filling your date card with quality people is quite possible, so take away that frown and look at my tips in our holiday survival guide.
The Cyber-Dating Expert Survival Guide to Help you Through the Holidays, Online and IRL.
1. Don’t rely on Social Media to go down memory lane
Sure I know it’s natural to take a peek to see what your ex is up to, but if they’re jetting off to Paris, heading for sunshine in Hawaii and kissing under the mistletoe, you’re hurting yourself big time. Instead, try to create your own new memories. Walk down a festively decorated street and snap a few photos of trees, store windows, and cheerful pictures and post them on your Facebook wall. So what if you’re alone or with your BFF. You’re out of the house and not living in the past. Digital snooping is also on the rise, especially during the holidays. It brings out the worst in many. At PlentyofFish, they surveyed over 9000 of their users between the ages of 20 -40 to find out what their holiday dating habits were. POF found that 82% of the women were actually checking the Facebook statuses of guys they were dating to see what they were doing when they weren’t around. Wouldn’t you be better off out, than attached to your phone?
2. Fill that date card and stay organized
Anxiety can be at an all time high, but joining a few dating sites and using mobile dating apps will be a great ego boost. It will also give you the chance to meet a lot of people. However, don’t embarrass yourself by calling Don, Doug or introduce yourself as Jackie from PlentyOfFish if you met him on eHarmony. The easiest way to do this is by creating an excel spreadsheet and logging your conversations. You would do this for a job, right? Well this is a job with a possibility of a lifetime of love. It’s worth the effort.
3. Block your ex’s profile
If you’ve recently ended a relationship with someone you met online and it wasn’t on good terms, chances are you’ve both rejoined the site to meet others. Make sure you block his or her profile so they don’t appear in a search and to avoid the obsessiveness that results when you check to see when they last logged on or if they’ve deactivated their profile. Don’t assume if their profile is gone that they’ve ridden off into the sunset with someone else. Sometimes people just take a break or they may have blocked you.
4. Don’t jump into a rebound relationship
They say the easiest way to get over someone is by replacing them in a New York minute with someone new, but is it right? Sure the initial infatuation stage is a lot of fun and it’s nice to have a warm body around, but finding someone new when you aren’t ready to date isn’t always the answer. Spend time with friends, hang out with an ex that you’re still on good terms with and can be yourself with, and spend time alone reading, writing, or taking a cooking class or French lesson.
5. Discuss holiday gift giving
Before you run off to Tiffany to get him sterling silver cufflinks engraved with his initials after three weeks of dating, ask yourself how overwhelming it would feel if he showed up with an engagement ring one month in. It could be over the top, right? Come up with a reasonable budget. Perhaps you can get him a cashmere scarf or sweater, tickets to a concert or sporting event, and make home made cookies. You could get her a gift certificate to a spa, gourmet chocolates, a fun accessory for her mobile phone, tickets to a show or a museum exhibition, or a piece of costume jewelry in her favorite color. Avoid giving her just lingerie, unless it’s something she picks out for herself.
6. It’s Peak Season for Online Daters
The good news is that more singles are signing up for dating sites between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. Match reports they see a jump of about 25-30% in new members signing up between Christmas and Valentine’s Day and at Cyber-Dating Expert, it’s the busiest holiday season ever with new singles joining online dating sites and brand new dating profiles being created.
7. Accept ALL holiday invitations
If your inbox is filled with invitations for holiday mixers, fill your calendar and put on your party dress. Remember to smile at everyone. Business networking events are in abundance now, so you won’t have to feel that you’re the only single person there. Walk in with confidence and you’ll be turning heads and filling your date card.
8. Online Love is a year-round event
People meet online and fall in love all year long. I know a couple that met online on Christmas Eve on Facebook who are now engaged. I know of another couple that met online on eHarmony on Valentine’s Day who are now happily married. One couple fell in love at first sight that met on Match. She hadn’t had a serious relationship in over 10 years and now they’re married. Yes online dating is a numbers game. You’ll be juggling dates, canceling dates, rescheduling dates, it’s exhausting, but it can be so very rewarding as it has been for millions of others.
9. Fall in love with you
At the holidays, please take a deep breath; log on to fill your date card if and when it feels good to you, not because you’re feeling lonely. If you need to take a break from dating, that’s fine. There are no rules, other than to fall in love with yourself first. It’s the best place to be to start any new relationship.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace this holiday season, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and was a very early adopter of Internet dating. She’s the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com, author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Welcome to our Cyber Monday special at Cyber-Dating Expert.
This year, we’re making Cyber Monday so irresistible, that we’re providing 15 Magic Minutes of critiquing your dating profile, LIVE for FREE!.
That’s right. There’s no road rage, trampling on people in parking lots or getting out your credit card. We know the holidays are tough, so on Monday, December 1st and Tuesday, December 2nd, sign up for our 15 Magic Minutes and schedule your free session to review your profile.
If you’re new to online dating, take that time to talk about your dating dilemmas for free. If you need some extra hand holding, we’re offering 25% off our popular Internet dating packages including The Flirt, Going Steady, and Totally in Love.
To schedule your free session via phone or Skype, sign up below. This is limited to those who sign up on December 1st and 2nd, 2014 and sessions will take place during the month of December, 2014. Offer available to new clients only.
Thank you for signing up for our Cyber Monday special offer of a FREE online dating profile critique! We offer this irresistible special only once a year, so hurry before this offer expires on December 2, 2014 at midnight!
To schedule us, please fill out the contact form below. We’re also offering 25% off our Irresistible Coaching programs.
What are you waiting for? Sometimes the best things in life are free.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and was an early adopter of Internet dating. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter