When you’re single and are on an online dating site, you spend hours-and-hours often answering questions to find a compatible match.
When it comes to physical activities, most men I know who are huge skiers, won’t date a woman who won’t play in the snow with them.
In conjunction with the Sochi Olympics, PlentyOfFish looked at 50,000 of their single members to find out which sports fans will get lucky in love and which activities were the best turn-on’s.
The survey showed that nearly 1 in 2 single men are watching the Olympics because the athletes are sexy, and roughly 1 in 3 single women admit to watching a sport purely for the sex appeal.
POF found that snowboarding and ice hockey were considered the sexiest Winter Olympic Sports by the single women, while the majority of men preferred figure skating.
It was no surprise that the top ranked most handsome male athlete was Olympic snowboarder Bode Miller.
The Top 5 Sexiest athletes at Sochi from the singles survey include:
- Bode Miller (Skiing) 22.4%
- Henrik Lundqvist (Hockey) 15.6%
- Charlie White (Figure Skating) 6.1%
- Bobby Brown (Skiing) 3.4%
- Shani Davis (Speed Skating) 1.4%
Top 5 Sexiest Female Athletes Competing at Sochi:
- Lolo Jones (Bobsleigh) 14.9%
- Linn Haug (Snowboarding) 14.2%
- Anna Fenninger (Skiing) 11.2%
- Anna Sidorova (Curling) 10.8%
- Tina Maze (Alpine Skiing) 8.6%
Other findings include:
- Snowboarding and Ice Hockey are considered the sexiest Winter Olympic sport by single women, each earning 27.3% of the votes
- An overwhelming 43.6% of single men consider Figure Skating to be the sexiest Winter Olympic sport
- Men and women agree that curling is the least attractive Winter Olympic sport – (41.7% of women and 28.3% of men)
- 49.1% of singles consider Beach Volleyball the sexiest Summer Olympic sport
- 51.9% of singles consider Weight Lifting to be the least attractive Summer Olympic sport
So how does this relate to your dating life?
PlentyOfFish found the following statistics:
- Singles who share a love of Hockey are 440% more likely to form a relationship
- Singles who share a love of Skiing are 380% more likely to form a relationship
- Singles who share a love of Swimming are 280% times more likely to form a relationship
- Singles who share a love of Biking are 280% times more likely to form a relationship.
So what’s the answer? Start spending more time outdoors if you want to find a relationship. Go to sports bars and watch hockey games, take a ski lesson, and wipe the dust off the bicycle that’s sitting in your garage.
Do you enjoy outdoor activities with a date?
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Dear Cyber Dating Expert,
I desperately need some online dating advice. I met a guy on OkCupid last week and we had the perfect date. The next day he reached out to hang out again and even introduced me to his engaged friends and we went on a double-date. That night we ended up sleeping together and I thought everything was going so well.
We continued to talk and he remained sweet and attentive. We made plans to meet up a few days later and I went to his place and we watched a movie. Again, he was very affectionate, held my hand, kissed me on the head/check, etc.
What threw me was when I saw his cell phone light up with text messages from random numbers he hadn’t saved to his phone. Immediately I knew these were probably other girls he was communicating with from OKC. My heart sank. I thought everything was great until I saw those texts! He seems SO into me, but now I feel like I have something to prove and other girls to beat out. I just don’t want to get involved and get my heart broken, but I like him and don’t want to lose out on getting to know him better.
Do I play it cool, let him take the reins for now? Or should I be proactive & initiate more dates with the chance of coming off aggressive/desperate?
Thanks for your email.
I understand why you’d be upset about seeing text messages you believe were from other women that your new guy might be chatting with.
Because you both met on an online dating site, unless you’ve had the conversation about being exclusive, assume that you’re not. After all, you were only dating for one week when you noticed these anonymous texts.
Sleeping together while you both have active online dating profiles isn’t something that I recommend, unless you don’t mind if he’s seeing other people.
Once a woman sleeps with a man, the hormones kick in and women get very attached and bonded, even if the guy isn’t really good for you. When the sex is good, it’s natural to hope and think that he won’t want to be with anyone else. Maybe he’s ignoring those text messages, after all you’ve only known him for a short while.
My advice is to keep it cool and date him if he asks you out on a proper date, but don’t sleep with him again. Sure you can hug, kiss, fool around, etc. Please don’t make a big deal out of the text messages, as men don’t like a high-drama, clingy or possessive woman in their lives. Just show him that you’re the confident great woman that you are. If he calls, return his calls. If he texts, return his texts. If he asks you out and you’re free, go out on a date with him, but let him know that you like him, but realize that you aren’t into casual sex if it comes up. Let him know how much you’re enjoying getting to know him. I know it’s hard to go backwards, but it’s worse to sleep with him and then wonder if he’s logging on to find someone to sleep with the next night. That’s the risk with online dating. If he tells you it’s not acceptable, then he doesn’t really want you as his girlfriend. He might just be looking for a booty call or friends with benefits relationship. Throwing yourself at him won’t help. It will kill the chances to have a relationship with this guy. Being great in the bedroom doesn’t mean he won’t look elsewhere. Being the confident girl he can’t be without will make him want you to be his girl. Let him take the lead and initiate dates with you.
If he really wants to make you his girlfriend, he’ll take down his profile and do whatever it takes. At this point, you haven’t set your boundaries so he doesn’t think it’s a requirement. Don’t be in competition with other women. Just be yourself and feel great about who you are. Please don’t get possessive or start to interrogate him about his text messages or cell phone. Insecurity will kill a relationship. Since he didn’t put those phone numbers in his phone to save them, nor is he hiding his phone, they probably don’t mean much to him anyway. Still, I know it hurts.
I hope this helps and please do keep me posted.
Our friends at JDate and ChristianMingle just released their second annual State of Dating in America report, where they surveyed over 2,600 U.S. singles between the ages of 18 and 59 to find out how they felt about dating in the digital age.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s not a surprise that the stigma of online dating is continuing to dissipate. The report showed that 85% now believe Internet dating is socially acceptable. The survey looked at the behaviors of the online dating cycle from first contact to moving in together and even marriage.
Let’s start with getting to the first online date. Are all online daters serial daters? While many have said that online dating comes complete with a “shopping cart” mentality, and the large bouquet of singles on dating sites, one would think Internet daters’ date cards would be filled with a different date every day of the week.
According to the survey, while singles are writing to several people at once, in reality, they prefer to date one person at a time. Does this mean online daters are really serial monogamists instead of serial daters?
The question asked in the survey said:
Do you generally contact one person, communicate with them and go on a date OR are you communicating with multiple people during the same time frame?
More than half of the respondents admit they go out with one dater at time, with 63% of women and 53% of men saying they communicate with multiple people, but only go out with one person at a time.
By comparison, only 38% of men and 24% of women contact one person at a time, and the lowest response came from 9% of men and 14% of women who date multiple people at the same time.
Frankly, I’m surprised at these numbers, as it takes time to get to know someone. Going on a few dates with a few people simultaneously should help the process and help you become a better dater, right? Should one put all of their eggs into one digital basket?
Other findings included the Top 3 deal-breakers, with hygiene being at the top of the list for both men (35%) and women (35%). Hint: Take that extra shower and keep a toothbrush and breath mints in your car.
The good news is that the stigma about online dating is continuing to diminish. Two out of three singles in the survey knew people who met as a result of online dating, and an overwhelming 94% of singles believe that online dating expands their dating pool with 86% saying it speeds up their search as compared to being set up by friends.
Think about it. Online dating is available 24 hours a day, so the convenience factor is there. Still, finding love online can be like finding a needle in a digital haystack. You need to become the “1 in 40 million.” At the end of the digital day, it’s a numbers game worth playing.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Meet Elizabeth and Michael who found love online on PlentyofFish.
Here’s what Michael has to say about his online dating journet.
For our first date, Elizabeth and I met at a wine bar on a Thursday evening. We had been communicating for a couple of weeks before hand. Mainly by text. We exchanged messages on POF for a day or so and then exchanged phone numbers.
She ordered a white and I a red and we split a plate of various cheeses and cold cuts. We had planned on playing trivia; a weekly thing that bar does, but we skipped it because the conversation was going so well, well enough to warrant a second glass of wine. 8:00 turned into 9:00 which turned into almost 10:00.
There was some lip locking at the bar. We didn’t much care for who was around us. We called it a night and she gave me a ride to my car. It was quite cold that evening. We agreed to get together again on the weekend, which we did on Saturday.
Date number two was fantastic. After getting somewhat lost, I picked her up and we headed for downtown. I had offered to take her ice skating, which I hadn’t done since I was about 11 years old. (I’m 41 now). So we went in circles around the rink, me gripping the rail in one hand and hers in the other. Maybe I was just being sneaky. There were a few falls, but that was okay, it was good for a laugh. After, we had hot cocoa and walked a bit. Then it was off to the airport to look at the stars, which we didn’t really see due to the clouds. I don’t think we would have noticed them even if the night were perfectly clear.
What the date was meant to do was to live out some of the things we had been talking about when we were texting. We spent the rest of the night together.
Fast forward to now. We’ve been seeing each other regularly, about three days a week. I’m writing this email from her living room. We have future plans for time together and things to do.
Congratulations to Elizabeth and Michael who met on POF.com and became Facebook official a little over a month later.
Do you have an online dating story to share? Send us your story and you might get featured in our Cyber Love Story series.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles and Online Dating BootCamp programs.
Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.
Dear Cyber Dating Expert,
I met this wonderful guy online and we connected on our first date. Yes, it was exciting to have chemistry and we kissed at the end of the date.
By the time I got home, my new guy had already sent me a text message saying how much he enjoyed our date and wanted to get together again. I went to sleep with a smile on my face.
Suddenly, he was sending me a text message saying “Good morning” every day, checked with me during the day, and even to say good night. Because of our busy work schedules, we had a difficult time putting a second date on the calendar. Actually, we tried several times and one of us, usually him, had to cancel due to business or for some other reason, but I did go to his house to watch a movie a few times. I kept suggesting a real date, like one where we’d go to dinner at a restaurant, but it didn’t happen.
Before the New Year, I realized it wasn’t going anywhere, but had remorse about it over the holidays. I am finding this is common, I mistook his daily texts as effort when he hadn’t made any real plans. He would want to see me day of and I would already have plans. Nonetheless, I wished him a Merry Christmas via text then he wished me Happy New Year so I thought we weren’t entirely over.
Last week, he messaged me again and we flirted and talked about doing dinner on Wednesday. I shared with him that we had amazing chemistry on our first date and I wanted us to get to know each other better over dinner. Sunday night he messages me to come over to his place and stay the night with him and that kind of showed me where I stood. I have been to his place 3 times already! He has never been to my place and why would I stay the night with him prior to reconnecting at dinner?!?!
He called me Wednesday and we postponed getting together to Friday night. He mentioned possibly moving for work, which raised my guard even further. Thursday we exchanged some texts and I haven’t heard from him since. Fortunately I can laugh at it all. I’m glad we never slept together. I don’t go from 0 to 360. A part of me is still a little hurt and disappointed that what I had hoped would happen didn’t. But it takes two to tango and two to make an effort and while passion are SUPER important to me, I need to be romanced a little before I go there.
How could I really believe we were in a relationship and that he was courting me? Did he texts mean nothing?
Disappointed in California
Texting is so easy to do and has become a part of most daters’ regime. However, I view texting as a flirty way of keeping in touch, while you’re courting, dating, or even in an exclusive relationship. Your guy sends you texts to keeping you on the hook, sucked in, with the hope that you’ll think a real relationship is in the cards. He knew your relationship goals, but he was clearly on a different page. Quite simply, he was looking for a relationship of convenience and was hiding behind his mobile phone.
How many women was he texting while making you feel like you were special? Probably many. Invitations to come to his home may have been sent to several women, with the first one to bite ending up in bed with him. I once knew a man who like clockwork on Friday sent a text message to 10 women he either had slept with, were ex-girlfriends, or women he wanted to pursue. He was a classic player. He invited them each out to drinks and whoever responded first was the one he ended up spending the night with. Be happy that you didn’t jump at the chance to be in a girl in rotation.
You did nothing wrong other than open your heart to the possibilities and fortunately not more.
So, keep true to yourself and know there is someone else out there. I would not have ANY contact with this guy. Be open to meeting someone else. I always quote Stevie Nicks from the song “Dreams.” “Players only love you when they’re playing.”
It Sounds like he wanted a relationship of convenience, a hookup, or whatever. When a man wants you to be his girlfriend, he’ll do whatever it takes to let you know and to make sure he claims you as his.
It didn’t mean there wasn’t real chemistry. Let’s not confuse lust with the desire for love. It didn’t mean that he didn’t like and adore you. Men love the game and love the chase. As a woman with a huge heart, it’s easy to get sucked in to the possibility of romance and finding someone special.
It’s a new year and time to find someone who’s on the same page. Enjoy the flirty texting, but until two people agree that they’re dating exclusively, they’re not in a relationship.
It’s a great honor and joy to let you know that I’ll be a guest on the Marilu Henner show on Friday, January 10, 2014 at 10:08am/PST to talk about my expert online dating tips for the New Year.
Marilu has been an inspiration to millions of women throughout the world and I adore her.
You may remember her from seeing her in over thirty films or six Broadway shows. Perhaps you remember Marilu from and her hit TV shows, “Taxi” and “Evening Shade.” Marilu is also a New York Times Best Selling author of nine books on health, parenting, memory, and lifestyle improvement. Her books have changed the lives of millions in her quest to make the world a healthier place.
As we enter a new year filled with many resolutions, if you’re single, finding love is probably on your list.
I’ll be sharing some of my best tips on how to create an Irresistible Profile to attract your dream date and will be letting you know which cliche’s to avoid in your online dating profile. You’ll learn the secrets on how to write an email to capture his or her attention.
I know that Valentine’s Day for women is like the Super Bowl for men. I know that life can be stressful for singles leading up to Valentine’s Day and it’s our goal to help you with the tools you need to speed up your search, avoid the pitfalls of online dating and date safely on the Internet.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
The first week of January is known for being one of the busiest days for new online dating sites, with over 50% of new members joining the day after New Year’s, I thought it would be appropriate to think about a realistic resolutions list when it comes to matters of the heart.
From joining the gym to the latest diet craze, we come up with lists that are so unrealistic that even Wonder Woman couldn’t achieve half of the items on the checklist.
Match.com reports that during the first week of 2014, they’ll expect to have over 2 million singles logging on over 30 million times! This Sunday, January 5th at 8:57pm/ET, Match expects it to be the busiest time of the year for online dating. Are you ready to take the digital plunge?
With that in mind, when it comes to matters of the heart, singles need to become reflective and take a good look at their dating patterns. Did you date the same type of people over-and-over again? Did your relationships sizzle at the three-six month mark? Was it rate to make it to a second date or past a third date? Is your list of the traits of your perfect mate too big or too small?
Here are my suggestions and a list of questions for you to answer to start fresh in the New Year.
- Take a moment to jot down a list of those you dated in 2013.
- Write down a list of the personality types to see where your patterns are.
- Did they ever seem too good to be true?
- Did you jump in too fast or were you overcautious and took it too slow?
- Were you hung up on physical qualities?
- Were these people you could be friends with first?
- Would you be proud to introduce your dates to your friends and family?
- Are you backgrounds, religion, and values similar?
- How did your dates treat the servers at restaurants?
- What was the relationship your dates had with his or her parents and family?
Answering these questions will help guide you better to determine who you should be adding to your date card.
With online dating in peak season from Christmas through Valentine’s Day, finding a date isn’t a difficult task.
Remember your time is precious and more isn’t always better. It’s not the race to the finish line that matters. Every relationship serves a purpose and helps you get closer to knowing truly what you want. While falling in “like” or “lust” at first sight is common, it takes multiples seasons to determine if you’re truly in love with someone; a person who will be with you when there’s the inevitable bump on the road.
If you meet someone that you truly connect with, I encourage you to open your heart, be open to the possibilities, give someone a second chance in case they were nervous on a first date. Love yourself first so you are able to love others.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam in 2014.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. She’s been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
Our friends at JDate are giving us two free tickets to give away for their annual Gala.
Celebrating its 20th year, the SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA will be held at Red O Restaurant in Beverly Hills featuring cuisine by world-renowned chef Rick Bayless. This trendy-spot features bold, dramatic décor and a sultry ambiance bound to ignite a hot party. Guests will enjoy delicious tapas, tequila tasting, all-night drink specials and amazing raffle prizes. When attendees are not busy schmoozing, eating or drinking, they can hit the dance floor and show off their moves.
To enter to win two free tickets, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and post your comment that you’d like to win tickets to JDate’s SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA.
Advanced tickets are $35 each or $50 for two. Grab your BFF and your favorite party dress or digs and enjoy this fun and festive holiday soiree.
What: JDate’s SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA
Where: Red O Restaurant, Beverly Hills, CA
When: December 24, 2013 9pm-2am
Why: Because your single and need to mingle.
Added bonus: Our friends at Uber will be offering new clients a free ride valued at $50.
Visit us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and let us know why you want to win tickets to SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA.
The winner will be announced on Facebook on December 2nd.
To buy tickets, visit http://www.jdate.com/schmooz
Here are some of our favorite articles of the week that were shared on Twitter and found on the web for your reading pleasure on dating, love and romance, and digital love.
How to Find Love Online This Holiday Season – On DatingAdvice.com, I provided several tips on finding a terrific date on the Internet. I’m happy to report that plenty of singles are connecting and feeling a bit smitten.
Why We Need to Cuddle – On Likes.com, this article caught our digital eye. Get ready for hugs, cuddling, and see why cuddling should be at the top of your list.
The Truth About Women’s Complicated Relationship With Technology – On Huffington Post, they shared the results of their poll conducted with Real Simple. Which ranks higher, the mobile phone or an intimate night with your sweetheart? Read on.
Holiday Mate Hunting Season - Cyber-Dating Expert friend Kim Calvert, Editor-in-Chief at SingularCity wrote a piece on the quest for find a date for the holidays.
Online Dating Anxiety Disorder – Is it Worse During the Holidays? – Enjoy my article on Huffington Post to calm those anxious nerves about flying solo at your holiday parties.
Scared of Being Single During the Holidays? Don’t Let it Sabotage Your Dating Life – On eHarmony Advice, this article will help you realize that the first person to love this holiday season is yourself.
Christmas Gifts for Him (That are Also for You) – Does he want an iPad or a beard trimmer? On PlentyOfFish, you’ll find 5 gifts to buy for your new date.
Why Jacks and Olivias are Lucky in Love - A new study conducted by Match in the UK says 58% of men would click on teh profile of a woman named Olivia. Would you change your profile name to attract a date?
Our favorite quote this week was from Jennifer Aniston – “A relationship isn’t going to make me survive. It’s the cherry on top.”
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
~Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert team.
As Tinder continues to take the world by storm, the feature included an interview with Tinder’s co-founder, Justin Mateen, as well as featured other mobile dating apps including eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, Grouper, Grindr, and Coffee Meets Bagel.
Mobile dating is now over a $200 million dollar industry. Are you wondering how it all works?
Watch the video below for highlights.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and mobile dating expert who was an early adopter of Internet dating. She created her first profile almost 20 years ago and coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs and her Mobile Dating BootCamps. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.