It’s a great honor and joy to let you know that I’ll be a guest on the Marilu Henner show on Friday, January 10, 2014 at 10:08am/PST to talk about my expert online dating tips for the New Year.
Marilu has been an inspiration to millions of women throughout the world and I adore her.
You may remember her from seeing her in over thirty films or six Broadway shows. Perhaps you remember Marilu from and her hit TV shows, “Taxi” and “Evening Shade.” Marilu is also a New York Times Best Selling author of nine books on health, parenting, memory, and lifestyle improvement. Her books have changed the lives of millions in her quest to make the world a healthier place.
As we enter a new year filled with many resolutions, if you’re single, finding love is probably on your list.
I’ll be sharing some of my best tips on how to create an Irresistible Profile to attract your dream date and will be letting you know which cliche’s to avoid in your online dating profile. You’ll learn the secrets on how to write an email to capture his or her attention.
I know that Valentine’s Day for women is like the Super Bowl for men. I know that life can be stressful for singles leading up to Valentine’s Day and it’s our goal to help you with the tools you need to speed up your search, avoid the pitfalls of online dating and date safely on the Internet.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
The first week of January is known for being one of the busiest days for new online dating sites, with over 50% of new members joining the day after New Year’s, I thought it would be appropriate to think about a realistic resolutions list when it comes to matters of the heart.
From joining the gym to the latest diet craze, we come up with lists that are so unrealistic that even Wonder Woman couldn’t achieve half of the items on the checklist.
Match.com reports that during the first week of 2014, they’ll expect to have over 2 million singles logging on over 30 million times! This Sunday, January 5th at 8:57pm/ET, Match expects it to be the busiest time of the year for online dating. Are you ready to take the digital plunge?
With that in mind, when it comes to matters of the heart, singles need to become reflective and take a good look at their dating patterns. Did you date the same type of people over-and-over again? Did your relationships sizzle at the three-six month mark? Was it rate to make it to a second date or past a third date? Is your list of the traits of your perfect mate too big or too small?
Here are my suggestions and a list of questions for you to answer to start fresh in the New Year.
- Take a moment to jot down a list of those you dated in 2013.
- Write down a list of the personality types to see where your patterns are.
- Did they ever seem too good to be true?
- Did you jump in too fast or were you overcautious and took it too slow?
- Were you hung up on physical qualities?
- Were these people you could be friends with first?
- Would you be proud to introduce your dates to your friends and family?
- Are you backgrounds, religion, and values similar?
- How did your dates treat the servers at restaurants?
- What was the relationship your dates had with his or her parents and family?
Answering these questions will help guide you better to determine who you should be adding to your date card.
With online dating in peak season from Christmas through Valentine’s Day, finding a date isn’t a difficult task.
Remember your time is precious and more isn’t always better. It’s not the race to the finish line that matters. Every relationship serves a purpose and helps you get closer to knowing truly what you want. While falling in “like” or “lust” at first sight is common, it takes multiples seasons to determine if you’re truly in love with someone; a person who will be with you when there’s the inevitable bump on the road.
If you meet someone that you truly connect with, I encourage you to open your heart, be open to the possibilities, give someone a second chance in case they were nervous on a first date. Love yourself first so you are able to love others.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam in 2014.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. She’s been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
Our friends at JDate are giving us two free tickets to give away for their annual Gala.
Celebrating its 20th year, the SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA will be held at Red O Restaurant in Beverly Hills featuring cuisine by world-renowned chef Rick Bayless. This trendy-spot features bold, dramatic décor and a sultry ambiance bound to ignite a hot party. Guests will enjoy delicious tapas, tequila tasting, all-night drink specials and amazing raffle prizes. When attendees are not busy schmoozing, eating or drinking, they can hit the dance floor and show off their moves.
To enter to win two free tickets, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and post your comment that you’d like to win tickets to JDate’s SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA.
Advanced tickets are $35 each or $50 for two. Grab your BFF and your favorite party dress or digs and enjoy this fun and festive holiday soiree.
What: JDate’s SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA
Where: Red O Restaurant, Beverly Hills, CA
When: December 24, 2013 9pm-2am
Why: Because your single and need to mingle.
Added bonus: Our friends at Uber will be offering new clients a free ride valued at $50.
Visit us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and let us know why you want to win tickets to SCHMOOZ-A-PALOOZA.
The winner will be announced on Facebook on December 2nd.
To buy tickets, visit http://www.jdate.com/schmooz
Here are some of our favorite articles of the week that were shared on Twitter and found on the web for your reading pleasure on dating, love and romance, and digital love.
How to Find Love Online This Holiday Season – On DatingAdvice.com, I provided several tips on finding a terrific date on the Internet. I’m happy to report that plenty of singles are connecting and feeling a bit smitten.
Why We Need to Cuddle – On Likes.com, this article caught our digital eye. Get ready for hugs, cuddling, and see why cuddling should be at the top of your list.
The Truth About Women’s Complicated Relationship With Technology – On Huffington Post, they shared the results of their poll conducted with Real Simple. Which ranks higher, the mobile phone or an intimate night with your sweetheart? Read on.
Holiday Mate Hunting Season - Cyber-Dating Expert friend Kim Calvert, Editor-in-Chief at SingularCity wrote a piece on the quest for find a date for the holidays.
Online Dating Anxiety Disorder – Is it Worse During the Holidays? – Enjoy my article on Huffington Post to calm those anxious nerves about flying solo at your holiday parties.
Scared of Being Single During the Holidays? Don’t Let it Sabotage Your Dating Life – On eHarmony Advice, this article will help you realize that the first person to love this holiday season is yourself.
Christmas Gifts for Him (That are Also for You) – Does he want an iPad or a beard trimmer? On PlentyOfFish, you’ll find 5 gifts to buy for your new date.
Why Jacks and Olivias are Lucky in Love - A new study conducted by Match in the UK says 58% of men would click on teh profile of a woman named Olivia. Would you change your profile name to attract a date?
Our favorite quote this week was from Jennifer Aniston – “A relationship isn’t going to make me survive. It’s the cherry on top.”
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
~Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert team.
As Tinder continues to take the world by storm, the feature included an interview with Tinder’s co-founder, Justin Mateen, as well as featured other mobile dating apps including eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, Grouper, Grindr, and Coffee Meets Bagel.
Mobile dating is now over a $200 million dollar industry. Are you wondering how it all works?
Watch the video below for highlights.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and mobile dating expert who was an early adopter of Internet dating. She created her first profile almost 20 years ago and coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs and her Mobile Dating BootCamps. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Over the years, I’ve seen many marriage proposals for couples who have met online. Watching all of the top nominees in the Top Proposal contest brought tears to my eyes. I’m truly happy for all of the couples who have found love on JDate.
I selected Eric’s music video proposal of “I Do Love You” to Nina for several reasons. It was the most creative, truly fun to watch, and featured many highlights of their beautiful courtship. I found myself smiling and humming the whole way through, especially when she said, “Yes!”
Featuring a song and dance by Groom-to-Be Eric LaBarre, the heartwarming video tells the story of how the two met on JDate and the development of their relationship leading up to the special moment. When LaBarre knew he wanted to propose to Nina Sturtz, he recruited her best friend to help create the video and included family and friends in its production. The proposal was inspired by Sturtz’s love of musical theatre, and she calls the video “the most perfect Nina proposal ever!”
The couple has won a 7-day vacation to the Bahamas.
It’s a joy to feature Eric and Nina in our Cyber Love Story of the Week. Congratulations to both of you from your friends at CyberDatingExpert.com.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and was an early adopter of Internet dating. She’s been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
One day, she decided to turn to online dating and joined Match.com.
“It was the summer of 2011 when I joined Match,” explains Becky.
“I tried Match because I guess….after so many years of not being in the dating world, I figured that would be the best way to meet people.”
Becky had a few dates, but they weren’t her cup of tea.
Then in October of 2011, she started communicating with Philip. Phil had been single for over 10 years before meeting Becky.
After talking via email and phone for a week or so, the two agreed to meet for a late lunch on October 13 at Pappy & Harriett’s.
“It was so much fun,” explains Becky. “We just kept talking and laughing, and talking and laughing, and he took me for a ride on his motorcycle. Five hours later we had a hard time parting ways, wanting to spend more time together. But we did say good-bye for the night.”
The next morning Philip emailed Becky and said…”You definitely have my attention”. We have been together ever since, splitting time
between both Becky and Philip’s homes.
When I saw Becky and Phil, they were celebrating their 2-year anniversary and couldn’t stop saying “I love you” to each other.
Congratulations to Becky and Philip, who prove you can start your life all over again while looking for love online.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles and Online Dating BootCamp programs.
Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.
I know this seems like a lot of pressure, but to simplify the Internet dating process, we’ve come up with several expert tips on how to ace your cyberdating exam.
Coordinating a first date to make that great impression makes singles nervous. One person may love coffee, where another would rather go hiking. Trying to find a common balance for your first meet-and-greet, especially when geography gets in the way, means a single dater must go with the flow to fill up their date card.
This means you must be easy-going, have several options on where to meet, and not appear too high-maintenance.
Here are two examples of how one date progressed nicely and another went south, fast.
Dater #1. When *Randy decided to make the dinner plans before the theatre date, he came up with a well-executed strategy. It was his homework assignment to select the restaurant and figure out how to coordinate the details. Sure it would have been easy to tell him to park once and just dine at the restaurant in the theatre, but he came up with a more complicated plan and told his date the following:
Unfortunately the restaurant doesn’t have a shuttle to the theatre, but I’ve thought of a plan to minimize the parking issue and maximize our time at dinner.
Try this on…
You drive into downtown and park at the theatre (or wherever you like near there) for about 5:30 PM and call me when you arrive to say where you are. I’ll drive over to pick you up and bring you to my building to park my car; and then we walk just a few blocks to the restaurant. After dinner, we take a taxi to get to the theatre, unfettered with driving and parking while others are arriving, and just walk in. After the event, you take your car out, and drive us a few blocks back to my building; I’ll hop out at the front door on the street safe and sound :-) and you continue straight toward to the highway to get home – real simple. Does this work?
What do you think?
It sounds like an exhausting plan, right? There was nothing simple about it. However, he took great pride in coordinating timing and location and just wanted acknowledgement that his idea would be well-accepted.
The lesson here is the best solution isn’t always the smartest solution when it comes to dating. Sure some women think that they’re smarter and can drive the dating train, but a man wants to be the woman’s hero. He wants to know that she approves of his plans. His efforts to coordinate their dinner date were well thought out. Telling him to change them, especially early on in the dating stage, could possibly backfire. She responded with, “Great plan. I love it! I’ll see you around 5:30pm.”
Dater #3. When *Kathy invited her online date to an outdoor concert, she had tickets for the summertime music festival where they would be picnicking. Her date offered to pick up some wine and food items and they agreed to drive together to the concert. That was, until she called him up and asked him what he would be wearing. When he replied that he would be dressed casually in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sandals, she got furious with him. She told him he wasn’t dressing appropriately for a date and that she hated Hawaiian shirts and shorts. Stunned, because this was a casual outdoor concert in the summer, he thought he’d be dressed perfectly for the occasion. She abruptly canceled the date because he didn’t conform to her perceived dress code and she went alone to the concert. Did he ever call her again? Not in a million years.
At the end of the digital day, when someone plays hard-to-get in the online dating game, the only word the potential date will remember is that you were “hard” to deal with. Don’t make dating difficult. Enjoy the process and go with the flow.
Julie Spira is an Online Dating Expert and was an early adopter of Internet dating. She’s been helping singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Online Dating Profiles for 20 years and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
We all know that Halloween is a great time to dress up and flirt. Since it falls on a Thursday this year, the weekend before will be filled with lots of parties to go to, while still saving your costume to wear again on October 31st.
Our friends at Plenty of Fish researched the most popular Halloween costumes for 2013 to see what singles would be wearing this year.
Of the 2000 single men and women polled, POF found the vixen costume ranked high for the guys, where the girls were attracted to the Super hero, with Batman costumes high on the list. Almost 25% of the women polled would be happy to flirt with a Batman, so they’ll be in luck this year. POF’s poll found that 32% of the single men would be wearing a Batman costume.
Costume stores are finding Cyrus’s MTV Video Music Awards mouse outfit to be the big seller this year. While we expect many single ladies to dress up as Miley Cyrus this year, some guys still like the classic beauty look. POF found that 25% of single men would find it easy to approach a twerker, while 20.5% would be happy to approach a classic beauty dressed as Kate Middleton.
Just like online dating profiles, where women are looking for a man with a sense of humor, 51% of the women said they’d be attracted to a guy wearing a funny costume. The guys polled were not in favor of approaching a woman dressed in a pregnant Kim Kardashian costume.
Can you fall in love on Halloween or will singles just be looking to hook up? POF found that 53% of women gave a thumbs down to hooking up on Halloween and an overwhelming 87% said they’ve never had a one-night stand on Halloween.
We say it’s time to log on to your online dating site and update your profile to include the Halloween festivities you’ll be attending and what you’ll be wearing. You never know, you just might find an online date this weekend to celebrate Halloween with.
Photo credits: Miley Cyrus Costume: $189. at Bonanza.com. Batman Costume: $48.99 and Orange jumpsuit $19,99 at HalloweenCostumes.com.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and let us know what you’ll be dressing up as this Halloween.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and was an early adopter of Internet dating. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice, sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
A new study from Pew Research shows that online dating has risen in popularity. While most of us realize this from the everyday conversations we’re having with singles on the dating scene, we really need to credit the introduction and rise of mobile dating apps for the increase in acceptance to digital dating.
When Pew conducted their research study in 2005, more singles hid the fact that they were dating online. Eight years ago, 29% thought that dating on the Internet was just something those who were desperate had to do. Fortunately, the number has shrunk to 21% today.
So who’s dating the most online?
According to the study, single men and women from 25-34 are the most popular demographic for Internet daters.
Other important statistics from the survey include:
- 42% know someone who has used online dating
- 29% know someone who has been in a long-term relationships or marriage with someone they’ve met online
- 66% of online daters have gone out on a date with someone they met on a dating site
- 11% of adult American Internet users have used online dating sites
- 38% of those who are “single and looking” have used online dating sites and mobile dating apps.
While these numbers continue to rise from Pew’s survey in 2005, over half of those who have dated online have had a bad experience. From misrepresentation of age, weight, marital status and more, we wish there was more truth-in-advertising with Internet dating.
Along with looking for love online, the Pew survey showed that many still felt the need to research their past relationships online. It’s hard not to be curious about what your ex is up to when he or she continues to post photos on Facebook or update their status on Twitter publicly. Suddenly social media makes it easy to do an impromptu background search to see if you’re former flame is single or in a relationship. The study showed that 30% of social networking users were researching those they were interested in dating. This proves that singles really need to make sure they keep their Facebook pages and date-friendly.
On Facebook Love Stories, we teach singles how to keep their Facebook pages more dateable. Think about it, your Linkedin Profile needs to help you find your dream job by being professional. It would make sense then that your Facebook page needs to reflect your single status.
*Hint: It might be time to do some digital housekeeping to remove photos of you with your kissing cousin or ex BF or GF.
At the end of the digital day, we’re creating a permanent digital footprint whenever we post. If you’re single, make sure you’re reflecting the real you, not the idealized person you think your date is dreaming to meet.
Julie Spira is a top Online Dating Expert and was an early adopter of Internet dating. She’s been helping singles on the dating scene for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: © erinphoto10 – Fotolia.com