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Would You Text an Ex?

smoochthumbnail 238x300Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site  Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Do you find this a bit shocking? According to Smooch, Valentine’s is a time for singles to feel even more single.

Smooch.com Marketing Manager, Lucy Clarke, said of the findings;

“Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate dating, whether you’re single or in a relationship. But with Valentine’s Day campaigns aimed at couples everywhere you turn at this time of year, it’s hardly surprising that the day makes singletons feel even more single.

Their findings even included that 16% of singles actually lied about receiving a Valentine and 63% wish they did have a date on Valentine’s Day.

So let’s get to the subject of texting. It’s rare on any holiday to NOT hear from an ex. Whether it’s Thanksgiving, New Year’s, Christmas, or Valentine’s, some singles can’t help but reach for the phone to connect with an ex. It’s a non-threatening way of sending a little digital love.

How should you say “Happy Valentine’s Day” to an ex via text? Are you concerned that sending a text doesn’t mean you’re  looking to rekindle a spark or end up in bed? Not necessarily. Often singles have fond memories of spending Valentine’s with someone from their past. Perhaps that romantic trip you took 5 years ago is still on his or her minds.

Although Smooch discourages singles from texting an ex, I disagree. Valentine’s can be a warm and fuzzy day or a day that can be filled with disappointments from the unrealistic expectations. I’m all for texting an ex, as long as it’s not to rekindle the spark within a few hours. Keep it friendly. Say, “Happy Valentine’s Day….Thinking of you and hope you’re doing great.”

The best times to send a text to an ex is in the morning. Keep it simple and friendly. Don’t ask your ex if he or she has a Valentine or is in a relationship. You broke up for a reason. If you do receive a text from an ex, don’t read more into it than just a simple friendly exchange. If you’re in a relationship, hold back from texting an ex. If your current sweetheart happens to see your text exchange on your phone on the most romantic day of the year, you might end up getting the cold shoulder or be sleeping alone that night.

Would you text an ex on Valentine’s Day? Your comments are welcome.

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Julie Spira is an online dating expert and celebrity dating coach. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating.  Julie creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt.

 

Are the Super Bowl and Valentine’s Created Equally?

superbowlAs we’re counting down to Super Bowl Sunday in New Jersey, whether you’re rooting for the Seattle Seahawks or the Denver Broncos, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike.

Some questions I always hear from women are, “Do men hate Valentine’s?” Guys want to know, “Do women really love the Super Bowl halftime show, or do they act enthusiastically to keep their guys happy or to met men?

I’ve gone on record as saying the Valentine’s Day for Women is like the Super Bowl for Men.  It’s a double-header this month, so enjoy the ride and guys, don’t wait until the last minute to invite the object of your affection or digital crush out for Valentine’s Day.

This weekend is sacred for most American men. It’s showtime as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year, Super Bowl Sunday.

Meanwhile, across the hall, women have their own favorite holiday to think about, Valentine’s Day. With these two major events less that two weeks apart, it’s become obvious that the Super Bowl for men is revered in the same way as Valentine’s Day is for women. Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.

Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women? Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, or shortly thereafter.

Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say “I love you” for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Relationship.”

Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue and with whom they would like to spend watching the big game. In January, many women start giving little hints about their favorite romantic restaurants, hoping their guy will take the cue and book a reservation before the venue becomes full.

However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau or someone she is dating doesn’t ask her out for Valentine’s Day, she won’t get over it. She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her number one guy will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.

So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.

So go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, our special 15 Magic Minutes is going on through Valentine’s Day.

And speaking of Valentine’s Day, here are some gift ideas to embrace and those Valentine’s gifts to ignore.

Related: Social Media Rules for Valentine’s Day

Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Valentine’s Day Survival Guide

CDEVD3 300x240Whether you love Valentine’s Day or dread it, our Survival Guide will help you get through the day with tips for your loved ones, as well as yourself.

The big question today is, would you go on a first date on Valentine’s Day? We said yes. According to Facebook, 70% of their  relationship status changes are announced on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps there’s something to it!

Speaking of Facebook, this week we launched a new site called Facebook Love Stories. We hope you check it out and let us know if you met your sweetheart on Facebook.

Our friends at eHarmony are having a F.R.E.E. Communication weekend from February 14th to 18th. Details here:

Happy Valentine’s Day. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

10 Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

Fotolia 48108645 XS Are you a last minute planner, or are you looking for something to do for fun with your girlfriends tonight? Here are 10 fun ideas.

From riding the Ferris Wheel, going to a Fortune Teller, or having In-Room Dining, there’s something for everyone. [Read More]  

 

 Social Media Rules for a Happy Digital Valentine’s Day  

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Not sure if you should post that mushy status update on his Facebook wall? Should you brag about your dozen roses?Read our 7 Dos and Don’ts to make sure you’re not getting unfriended on Valentine’s Day. [Read More]  

 

 Valentine’s Gifts for your Digital Sweetheart or BFF

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If you’re already friends on Facebook, the world’s largest social network is making it easy for you to send someone a Valentine’s gift this year, without having to leave the house or your computer behind. So don’t fret that Valentine’s is today and you’re still empty-handed. Here are our favorites. [Read More] 

Love Potions – Stuffed Strawberries with Mascarpone Cheese and Dark Chocolate

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Looking for a delicious desert to make for your Valentine? This sumptuous Stuffed Strawberries With Mascarpone Cheese and Dark Chocolate recipe from the Seduction Cookbook is a perfect for couples who prefer dining out but like their “dessert” at home. [Read More] 

 

Dating and Digital Manners – Watch our CNN Interview

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 Beauty – Red Velvet Facial Mask

Raspberres 150x150Staying in tonight?
Pamper yourself with this simple luscious treatment from our friend Gia Marie and Gia Skin Care.

 

 

 

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and digital matchmaker. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Valentine’s Gifts for Your Digital Sweetheart or BFF

627657 456612551071761 41690 n 1 150x150If you’re already friends on Facebook, the world’s largest social network is making it easy for you to send someone a Valentine’s gift this year, without having to leave the house or your computer behind. So don’t fret that Valentine’s is around the corner and you’re empty-handed.

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All you need to do is visit the profile home page of the object of your affection or a friend you’d like to spoil this Valentine’s Day and click on the pink gift box with the pretty red ribbon. Select a gift within your budget and then choose an eCard to go along with the gift. You’ll have the option to share that you sent a gift to your friend, long-distance love,  or someone you might have a digital crush on.

Facebook will notify the recipient that they’ve received a gift from you. They can then provide their address anonymously and be surprised when it arrives.

Even if their gift arrives after Valentine’s Day, they’ll know that you made the effort to select it in time. If they don’t accept the gift within 2 weeks, it will be automatically canceled and your credit card will be refunded.

Not sure which gifts to select?

Here are five gift ideas to send to the object of your affection, or your BFF.

 iTunes Gift Card.

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Who doesn’t love music? Let him or her pick their favorite love songs this Valentine’s Day. $10-$50.

Starbucks Gift Card.

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If you went on a first date for coffee, and you know he or she is a caffeine junkie, you can memorialize the day with a gift card to Starbuck’s $5-25.

The L-O-V-E Strawberry Gram.

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These six juicy, premium strawberries are hand-dipped in delicious dark Belgian chocolate and decorated with white chocolate lettering to spell L-O-V-E or drizzled with colorful confection. Presented in an elegant gift box, they’re the perfect Valentine’s treat for someone who’s been waiting to hear those special three words. $15.

 

 Anti-Valentine’s Candy.

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Sending a gift to your single friend? Check out the Anti-Valentine’s Candy, which celebrates his or her single-hood. You can let your friend know it’s time to “Stop Kissing Frogs” or encourage them with “Plenty of Fish in the Sea” candies. $5.

Pick Up Lines Coaster Set.

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Looking for a last minute date? Try these cute pick-up lines coasters or send a set to your single friends to help them if they’re feeling shy. From “Do you believe in love at first sight…Or should I walk by again?” to “Do you have a sunburn…Or are you always this hot?” they’re worth a chuckle or two. $15.

What do you want as a gift this Valentine’s Day?

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Fore online dating advice, visit CyberDatingExpert.com, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

10 Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

Fotolia 48108645 XS 300x300If the thought of chocolate candies and roses sounds so hum drum to you, we’ve come up with 10 fun and flirty Valentine’s Day things to do with your significant other or date, that will make it an evening to remember.

1. Take a Dance Class – Dancing to Tango music can be very romantic. Dress up for the occasion and find a class near you. If Tango isn’t your style, try salsa or hip-hop as an alternative. It will get your body moving and can get you in the mood for a romantic and memorable evening.

2.  Book His-and-Her Massages – Having warm oil rubbed on your body is surely a treat. If your relationship hasn’t moved in that direction yet, book Swedish massages for the two of you in separate rooms, so you both can enjoy the experience and compare notes afterwards.

3. Create a Digital Scavenger Hunt – We know you’re attached to your mobile phones and tablets, so create a little mystery with your very own personalized scavenger hunt. Not sure where to start? Begin the day with a text message saying “Happy Valentine’s Day” along with the first clue. When she arrives at the destination, send her a second clue requesting a Skype or FaceTime chat where you can wish each other a happy Valentine’s Day, video style. Third, send another text message on where you’d like her to go next. Have her pampered with a manicure or pedicure to get ready for your big date night. Fourth, at the end of the day, post an e-card greeting on her Facebook page for her and her friends to “like.” Finally, send her a digital invitation with the exact location for your Valentine’s date. Remember to take photos along the way and share them on your Facebook, Pinterest, or Instagram accounts.

4. Skate Away – Whether it’s ice-skating or roller-skating, take your valentine to the closest rink in town. You’ll find yourselves reminiscing about your childhood while you get a little physical activity. Remember to catch her if she falls.

5. Enjoy In-Room Dining  – If you’ve waited until the last minute and realize that his or her favorite restaurant is already booked, pretend you’re on vacation and opt for an in-room dining alternative. Let her know that you’ll be bringing the appetizers and main course. Allow her to contribute the dessert to the menu. Create great ambiance with candles, music, and perhaps a bouquet of red tulips if roses aren’t in your budget.

6. Make it About Music – Find out if your date’s favorite band will be playing in town and surprise him or her with tickets to the show. At the end of the show, give your date a music CD so you can memorialize Valentine’s long after the date is over.

7. Go to a Wine Tasting – Many local wine bars allow you to stop by and taste several options before deciding on your favorite selection. Take your date to a location where you both can get a wine card for samples and compare notes. At the end of the night, buy him or her his favorite bottle for a future date on the calendar.

8.Take a Cooking Class – Men actually do enjoy being in the kitchen. Take him to a cooking class, where the two of you can whip up a spicy meal. Find a place to go for dessert together, with your menus in hand.

9. Go to a Fortune Teller – Does he love me, does he not? Go to a fortune teller with your Valentine and see what the future will hold. Don’t worry, you don’t need to kiss-and-tell.

10. Go to an Amusement Park - Riding the Ferris wheel can be very romantic, especially when it stops and you’re feeling like you’re on top of the world. Remember to kiss your Valentine when you’re staring at the stars together.

How will you be celebrating Valentine’s Day this year?

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter,  follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Photo credit: © Arcady – Fotolia.com

 

Social Media Rules for a Happy Digital Valentine’s Day

istock 000007588751xsmall 300x299With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s time to brush up on your social media etiquette skills.

We know that you’re excited about your upcoming date or new relationship, but are you both on the same digital page?

Here are some Dos and Don’ts on how to handle social media and love on February 14th.

DO: send a fun and flirty “Happy Valentine’s Day” text to the person you’ll be spending the holiday with. It will generate excitement leading up to your date.

DON’T: Keep your phone on the table during the date or check text messages. It sends a message that someone else is more important than you are.

DO: Send a text message inviting them for a SKYPE date if you can’t be together or if they live out of town.

DON’T: Post photos of the two of you as a couple on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram unless both of you decide together that you don’t mind your extended network to view your whereabouts.

DO: Post a photo of the cute red or pink dress you might be wearing on your date.

DON’T: Tag your new boyfriend on Facebook. Chances are he hasn’t told his buddies and work pals about his Valentine’s plans.

DO: Post a photo if you’ve received flowers, a fun gift, or of the dessert at dinner. Everyone loves to view the photos and will cheer you on with “likes.”

DON’T: Post your Happy Valentine’s message on your date’s wall. Saying you can’t wait until the evening together should remain private. Remember, a simple post may be innocent. However your friends might wonder what kind of wild night the two of you will be having. Or worse yet, his ex-girlfriend might start posting inappropriate comments to ruin your evening.

DO: Send a digital gift, such as his or her favorite band on iTunes, an e-card, or a redeemable gift card to a store or restaurant.

DON’T: Send a musical montage of “I Love You” songs if you haven’t said those three little words yet.

DO: Ask for permission before you post anything online. Remember you’re creating a permanent digital footprint and your status and photos can be shared, even by people you don’t know.

DON’T: Overshare. Remember, many of your friends are single and may not be enjoying the day.

DO: Make an exciting announcement. If you become engaged on Valentine’s Day, your friends will want to know.

DON’T: Change your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” until both of you have had the talk and agree to be on the same digital page.

Do you have any social media rules for Valentine’s Day?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Beauty – Red Velvet Facial Mask

RaspberresJust in time for Valentine’s Day, facialist-extraordinnaire Gia, from Gia Skin Care, shares her Red Velvet Mask. It looks and smells so good, you may find yourself nibbling on it while applying it to your face.

How do you enjoy this do-it-yourself process at home?

All you’ll need is a food processor or blender and the following ingredients:

1/4 Cup of Fresh Organic Raspberries
1 Tablespoon Manuka or Raw Local Honey
1 Teaspoon of powdered Cocoa
1-2 Tablespoons Organic Almond Milk

Blend all the ingredients until it becomes a smooth velvety consistency.

Apply your mask from a bowl with either an applicator or facial brush making sure you avoid the eye area.

Leave on 10 minutes and simply Breathe and Relax.

With the amazing power of antioxidants from the raspberries and the medicinal antibacterial healing qualities from the honey, this is the ideal indulging mask without any calories!

It’s a nice way to pamper yourself, while getting ready for your next cyber-date.

For more beauty ideas, visit GiaSkinCare.com and CyberDatingExpert.com/beauty

Julie Spira is leading online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Julie Spira to Host Live Valentine’s Chat

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It’s with great enthusiasm to be the featured host of GenConnect’s Live Valentine’s Chat scheduled for Thursday, February 3, 2011 at 3:30pm/ET.

Valentine’s is a very stressful time for both singles who are dateless as well as for couples where the expectations are high. If you’re waiting for him to say, “I love you” or expecting a ring on your finger, you’re putting too much pressure on your relationship.

Join me for a very special pre-Valetine’s live chat with GenConnect. We’ll be discussing both online and offline dating tips and ways to improve your relationship this month. Sign up now to register for this event. One lucky winner will receive a personalized irresistible online dating profile valued at $495. Our hashtag is #gCLove

For details, visit GenConnect.com

CNET – Cyber-Dating Expert provides Dating Advice for Valentine’s Day

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Listen to today’s podcast on CNET in a lively conversation with Cyberdating Expert Julie Spira and technology journalist, Larry Magid. Hear dating advice for Valentine’s Day for those looking for love online. You’ll find some tips on what to look for in a paid online dating site as well as some suggestions in joining a free Internet dating site.

Click here to listen to the program

Click here for all Valentine’s Media

Peril of the Week – The Valentine’s Break Up

valentinesbreakup 150x150There’s no good time to break up with the woman or man in your life. However, there are some SACRED days that one should respect when it comes to matters of the heart. These days include Christmas, New Year’s, Birthdays, and of course, Valentine’s Day.

We all remember that Jessica Simpson got dumped by football star, Tony Romo the day before her birthday bash. Romo didn’t want to be the “Ken” in her “Ken and Barbie” theme party.

Flash forward to Valentine’s week. A handsome gentleman was courting a woman that he met in an online dating site. He said he wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with her. He was smitten.  He called her daily, told her she was beautiful, and made plans for future dates. Everything seemed to be going well and she expected an invitation for Valentine’s Day as he said he wasn’t dating anyone else. It appeared he was doing everything right.

Suddenly, one week before Valentine’s Day, he cancelled their plans for the weekend, without an excuse. He rescheduled for the following week–the week where you should already know if you are on the calendar for February 14th.

Then came the arrival of the e-mail breakup just a few days before Valentine’s Day.  The one where he said, “Let’s be friends.”

The email message said, “As for us; I think we are in the friend zone as I am obviously not the man for you.  I’ll spare you all the boilerplate of what a wonderful person you are (although it’s true) but the simple reality is that I am not the man who will be able to provide you with happiness, joy and contentment for the balance of your long and very meaningful life.  What you are looking for I cannot provide and I’m sorry I’m unable to do so as I’m very attracted to you.”

Was it a polite pre-Valentine’s breakup? Sure. He could have just disappeared. The bottom line appeared, that he didn’t want her to be his Valentine. Happiness, joy and contentment forever? It was too soon to know that. Was it the pressure of the date? “It’s not you, it’s me” is old line. She surmised that he found another Valentine and he just wasn’t that into her after all.

If you have an online dating disaster story to share, we’d like to hear from you. Send your submissions to Cyber Dating Expert

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