If you’re busy sending emails to potential dates online and are frustrated with the lack of response, our friends at online dating site Zoosk have come up with some simple suggestions on how to move the process along in their “7-Step Guide to Landing a Date.”
Here’s a recap, along with a cool infographic to help ramp up your Internet dating life so you can meet that special someone offline.
1. Add a date activity to show someone you really do want to go on a date.
In a recent survey of 3000 of their members, Zoosk found that mentioning movies as a favorite activity in you profile and even suggesting a movie date increases your response rate to your email messages by 91%. Yes that’s a big number and one worth viewing film trailers for. Other keywords included the beach (59%) and a park (39%).
2. Send emails in the morning if you’re a man; in the evening if you’re a woman.
Guys will increase their chances of a response by 10% if they send emails between 9am and 10am, while the best time for women to send email messages is between 10pm and 11pm. So ladies, send that flirty email and go to sleep with a smile on your face and avoid sending an email from 2pm – 3pm.
3. Respond within 24 hours.
As for when you should respond to an email, 94% of those surveyed said within 24 hours. I have to agree with this one. Remember when someone is emailing you, they’re sending emails to many others at the same time. Often the squeaky wheel gets the love deal, so playing too hard to get will likely backfire.
4. Focus on what makes you unique.
If you want to stand out in a crowded digital playground, talk about your date’s hair, their gorgeous eyes, fun or geeky glasses, and even their tattoo. Remember to be fun and flirty. Stay away from the sexual comments, which received a digital thumbs down from Zooskers.
One of the biggest challenges I see singles struggling with is what to write in their first email. First impressions do really matter and your email should be more than, “hey.” Here are a few interesting tidbits.
5. Character count matters.
Guys didn’t seem to care how long the first message was from a woman, but 40% of the women did indeed want to see a message that was longer than a full-length tweet of 140 characters.
6. Expect to send 5 emails.
Finally, how long will it take to get to the first date? About half of the singles polled said they send 5 email exchanges before putting his or her name on their date card.
7. Schedule your first date.
If you follow this plan, you should be filling up your date card and taking your relationship offline.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Are you using any of these tips while looking for love online?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter
Ladies: Are you wondering how to shine online to attract more men? Are you spending time at the makeup counter before going on a date? Do you want to look like a celebrity on the Red Carpet or go with the natural look on a date?
Before you grab that lip plumper, know that online and offline attraction does vary according to the men.
In a recent survey by online dating site Zoosk, 1850 male daters were asked to compare photos of Kim Kardashian, Beyonce, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Lawrence, with and without makeup. Then they were asked how they felt about the women they date, with or without the glam. The results and disconnect between their online and offline behaviors will surprise you.
Surprisingly so, the majority of the guys stated that they preferred Jessica Alba, makeup free (77%) as compared to giving the thumbs up for Kim Kardashian, all glammed up. (23%).
While viewing photos of Jennifer Lawrence made up in “American Hustle” as compared to a natural look, Zooskers voted in favor of the natural look (54%) as compared to the American Hustle photo with bright red lipstick (46%).
When asked if Jessica Simpson looked better with or without makeup on, 57% of the men preferred her natural look.
So how does this relate to real life dating and mens thoughts on hair and makeup?
The survey shows that men prefer a natural look with the women they are dating. Fifty-seven percent of men gave the thumbs down to red lipstick and 67% weren’t fond of dark eye shadow.
When it comes to hairstyle, 81% voted for a relaxed and natural look, with only 9% preferring pin-straight hair. Does this mean it’s time to toss out the flat iron?
Now let’s take a digital look at how men select women while viewing thousands of online dating profiles.
Zoosk’s data shows the complete opposite viewpoint to hair and makeup, where men were dramatically selecting women wearing more makeup, more eye shadow, and more lipstick in their photos.
Here are some numbers worth blinking a digital eye to:
- Women who wear eye makeup receive 139% more first messages than women who don’t.
- Men are 65% more likely to want to meet a woman if she wears eye makeup in her profile picture.
- Women who wear lipstick in their profile photo get 119% more first messages than those who don’t.
- Men are 38% more likely to want to meet a woman if she’s wearing lipstick in her profile photo.
- Woman wearing blush receive 24% more first messages than those who don’t.
- Men are 19% more likely to want to meet a woman if she’s wearing blush than if she’s not.
All in all, women who wore some form of makeup received more than three times as many messages as those who didn’t.
It may not be time to dig out your prom or glamour shots, but taking the extra time to look your best in your photos instead of posting the ‘selfie’ from last night’s party might be a wise idea.
After all, you’re auditioning for the job of a lifetime; possible girlfriend or wife.
Ladies, do you prefer a more natural look sans makeup? Do you need help to look your best on a date? I’m here to help you. Find out more here.
Your thoughts and comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and coaches singles on the dating scene to help them find love online and IRL. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.
In honor of this hot summer month, Zoosk conducted their 2nd annual Romance Awareness Month Survey of about 1500 single members of their online dating site to find out just who is more romantic and how satisfied singles are with their romantic lives.
While it shouldn’t come as a surprise that 81% of women and 69% of men surveyed agreed that women are more romantic, their findings showed that Valentine?s Day ranked lower on the romance totem pole at 19% than an anniversary at 57% or even a first date at 24%.
What’s even more surprising is the overwhelming amount of singles who are not satisfied with the amount of romance in their lives, with 80 % of the men and 73% of women, not happy in the romance department.
How can you add more romance to your life and be happier? As a hopeful romantic and one who makes love a daily part of my life, it all starts with loving yourself and creating rituals, with or without a partner. Romance isn’t only measured by the quality of quantity of sex in your life, but it begins with adding random kind gestures into your activity list.
Here are five tips to ramp up romance in your life, with or without a romantic partner.
As one who spends a lot of time helping singles with their online dating profiles, I can?t help but stress that it’s one of the simplest ways to think about romance and relationships. When you log in daily to your online dating site, take extra time to compliment someone on his or her outfit. Let them know you think they have an incredible smile. You’ll be surprised how quickly the boomerang effect will take place. You’ll feel like romance is just a click away.
I’m a huge fan of sending romantic text messages leading up to your date. Sending a fun and flirty morning text message letting your date or significant other know that you’re excited about your date with a few xoxo’s will definitely add some romance to your love life.
Smile and be Confident
Believe it or not, you actually feel happier and more confident even when you?re smiling while on the telephone. Nobody can imagine romance with a Debbie or Donnie Downer, so smile at the grocery store, while in line at the bank, or in an exercise class. You’ll come across as happier and don’t be surprised if a few heads turn.
First Date Rules – Be Proactive for Romance
Being passive on a date doesn’t help you in the romance department. Sure you don’t want to be too aggressive, but the Zoosk survey showed the squeaky wheel gets the romance deal with 34% of singles finding it most romantic when their date plans a surprise activity for their first date, with 27% liking to hold hands on the first date and 25% actually enjoying it when their date leans in for that first memorable kiss.
Schedule Date Nights
If you already have a steady loved one, you know how often relationships can end up in a rut after the first three months. When the honeymoon period starts to wane, if you’re not dating your mate and creating romantic memories, it’s easy for the relationship to fizzle out. Pick the same day each week and take turns selecting your date spot. You don’t have to break the bank, especially during Romance Awareness Month, as there are plenty of free concerts, where you can bring a picnic basket to or take the beach walk that so many swear they can’t wait to do.
National Romance Awareness Month gives you the opportunity and excuse to jump out of your rut and your comfort zone and think about how you can add more romance to your life.
What romantic rituals help you in your relationship?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She?s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Every year on July 6th, singles and couples will have a good excuse to become more romantic and flirty for this annual holiday. As it falls on a Saturday this year, it’s time to get creative, both on the lips and in the desired location of that memorable kiss.
In honor of International Kissing Day, our friends at online dating site Zoosk conducted a survey of 3500 singles in the United States to find out everything you need to know about kissing. From air kisses to French kisses, find out the most popular styles of kissing and the biggest turn-offs for a bad kiss.
According to the survey, most singles have dated a bad kisser. With 73% of the singles polled claiming they’ve been stuck in a bad kissing situation, know that you’re not alone when you meet a kisser with the slobbering tongue, bad breath, or the one who kisses with his or her mouth closed.
Speaking of closed, the Zoosk survey showed that 83% of singles do prefer to kiss with their eyes closed as compared to wide-open.
Music and romance do go hand-in-hand, so it’s natural that those surveyed had some favorite make-out songs. The top selections included “Could I Have This Kiss Forever?” by Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias, as well as “A Kiss From a Rose” by Seal and “Blow Me One Last Kiss” by Pink.
French kissing, surprisingly enough is more popular in the United States than in France. According to the survey, 46% of Americans prefer the French kiss as compared to 21% of those kissing in France.
Where do couples want to memorialize their kiss? The beach came in as the top choice with 30% of the votes, followed by kissing in the car, by a roaring fireplace, and on a carriage ride in Central Park in New York City.
If you’re away from your sweetheart, remember to send a few digital hugs and kisses XOXO’s via text on your mobile phone to celebrate International Kissing Day. Remember that a goodbye kiss can be more important than the hello kiss and leave a wonderful memory to the end of your date.
What’s your kissing style? Do you have your own kissing dos and don’ts? A dream spot for that first kiss?
From the first kiss to will you marry me and beyond, our friends at Zoosk are encouraging their success couples to share their romantic milestones and hang around once their relationship has become official.
Redefining themselves as ?the romantic network,? they?ve announced a new feature called ?Couples Profiles,? where happy couples can create a joint profile to highlight their romantic journey.
Zoosk co-founder Shayan Zadeh and a friend of Cyber-Dating Expert tells us, ?Zoosk started by helping singles find a partner to begin their romantic journey. Yet when we helped two people find each other and develop a relationship they left Zoosk and there was no dedicated place online for them to share their romantic journey. Our new Couple Profiles offering provides couples with a place to share their romantic milestones and memories online in a joint profile that can be shared with friends. As we continue to develop Couple Profiles, we have plans to add many more features.?
This makes a lot of sense as Facebook?s timeline also features these important relationship milestones, however not on a single profile.
Watch their video to see the features of ?Couples Profiles? and feel free to chime in with your thoughts.
Julie Spira is the leading online dating expert, bestselling author, and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating and relationship advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for our Weekly Flirt Dating advice newsletter. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
This week’s Cyber Love Story of the Week is one where I’m proud to share, as I’ve known Tammye for over a year. Find out how an online flirt, initiated by Tammye, followed by her cancelling the date, eventually led to a marriage proposal. Here’s the story of Tammye and Scott.
I had been dating online for about a year. If there was no connection, I just moved on. Most profiles and pictures were a lie and I was ready to give up on the entire process. I have never been one to go to bars, so dating online was my only real option. I had put a 25 mile limit on my search radius. Somehow Tammye came up within that search. She sent me a flirt. Tammye was 25.9 miles away, although she was just outside my criteria, I was impressed by her profile. She was articulate and I liked that. I answered the flirt. We set up plans to meet for coffee. Tammye cancelled [I still swear that she said due to a spider bite on her face]. That was my final straw ? I was done. I was frustrated with the whole online dating thing, but Tammye and I remained Facebook friends. I watched her posts and the events she attended, she captured my attention. In one of her posts, she mentioned Italian food, I told her about a great spot for real Sicilian lasagna, and Tammye said ?All you have to do is ask?. The date was set, June 15th at 6:30pm. She was late, one of my pet peeves. I ordered for her.? She texted me when she arrived in the parking lot and I went out to meet her. As I waited to greet her, in my mind I saw her float above the ground, wearing a long white dress [come to find out it was a short black & white polka dot one] it was as if I had known her all my life.
I knew the moment I saw her I had found the one, I proposed on December 30, 2010. She said ?Yes? ~ three times. I never want to be without her. We have everything in common. She is my life mate.
In December of 2009, out of sheer frustration, I joined an online dating site. I had just set up my Facebook account and one of their sister sites was Zoosk. I was dutiful and filled out the questionnaire, trying to be thorough yet interesting. Just let me say, you have to go through a lot of frogs before you find you find your prince. Having deleted my way through a few dozen or so gentlemen, and I use that term loosely, there was only one man that stood out, Scott. I was very hesitant, but we made plans to meet for coffee. Call it a mid-life crisis, but at the time I was determined to experience all those things that I didn?t have time for or money for in the past. I had recently taken up Kick boxing lessons, and a few days prior to our meeting, I took a punch to the eye. A swollen, black-purple-and-blue eyeball never makes a good first impression, so I cancelled. Scott and I never rescheduled the coffee meet up, however we remained Facebook friends for 6 months. In May of 2010, having found out it was my birthday, Scott invited me to dinner. We made plans to meet once again. This time the date was kept. We have been inseparable ever since. He means absolutely everything to me.
Scott and I just celebrated our one year anniversary; we are engaged and will be wed in March 2012. You really can find love online!
Congratulations to Tammye and Scott, our Cyber Love Story of the Week.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for online dating advice and to share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
You may have a high IQ and a smile that makes guys hearts melt, but what happens when your attachment to your mobile phone ranks higher on the totem pole than your date? As July marks National Cell Phone Courtesy Month, it?s time to pause and take notice on how discourteous we?ve become as we continue to spend the majority of our time attached to our smart phones.
According to the International Telecommunications Union, there are an estimated 5.3 billion mobile subscribers worldwide and the number is growing. In addition, 6.1 trillion SMS messages were sent in 2010. It?s no wonder with these numbers that cell phone etiquette, or in reality netiquette is on the decline.
So how does this enormous mobile phone usage affect matters of the heart?
In a recent survey on the relationship between cell phones and dating, social dating community Zoosk found out their members were extremely frustrated as they constantly competed with cell phones on a date. In short, daters are regularly breaking the rules of netiquette in a variety of ways with glancing at their cell phones during a date leading the list.
Alex Mehr, co-founder and co-CEO of Zoosk said, ?”We are surprised to hear that flagrantly reckless cell phone behavior has driven one third of singles to actually get up and excuse themselves from a date altogether. It’s our hope that singles follow proper cell phone etiquette to ensure that a mobile faux pas doesn’t ‘cell’ their date short.”
I?m personally not surprised in the least by their findings, as I?ve gone on record as saying, ?Your mobile phone isn?t an accessory.” I believe that unless you?re expecting a call from the President of the United States or a kidney transplant, your should leave it in your purse or pocket while on a date.
So without further digital adieu, here are some of the results of Zoosk survey.
- 1/3 of singles say they left a date early, because the other person was too absorbed with their cell phone
- 86% of singles say, constantly glancing at a cell phone is the? most offensive mobile-related? behavior, worse than sending a text
- 51% of singles think taking a call on a date is offensive
- 25% of female Zooskers have dumped their guy in a text message, as compared to 15% of the men
- Only 25% of singles didn’t mind when their date was distracted by their cell phone
- 73% of singles do like hearing their date’s voice on their voicemail
At the end of the digital day, leave a voicemail message for your sweetheart and make sure they remain higher on the totem pole than your mobile device.
Do you have any mobile dating pet peeves? Comments and thoughts are welcome
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and coach and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com, like her at facebook.com/cyberdatingexpert and follow her on twitter @JulieSpira
We’ve become so attached to our SmartPhones, but has text messaging actually replaced calling and hearing the human voice? According to a Zoosk Holiday poll of 1000 singles in the U.S., the answer is yes.
43% ?say that text messaging indeed has become their preferred form of communication. 27% of Singles polled said they still prefer the more traditional phone call, while 14% of singles prefer to communicate via Facebook. Twitter got a thumbs down with 0% preferring to communicate in 140 characters or less.
As Zooskers looked ahead to 2011, the good news is that love will be very much in style. 77% of the singles polled said they had a good feeling they would meet that someone special in the coming year. Chances are they will meet while looking for love online.
What’s the sexiest gadget to catch up on your reading? I was pleased to see the answer was a traditionally published book. Over half of the singles polled preferred an actual book over the Kindle, iPad, Nook, or Sony Reader.
How sexy is your Smartphone? 34% of those polled said the iPhone still ranks as number one, but Android is close behind. Blackberry came in at number 3.
Visit social dating site Zoosk for complete results of their survey with the best and worst trends during 2010. As always we wish you lots of love and happiness this holiday season. If you need some handholding with your dating, we help singles create their Irresistible online dating profiles.
Our friends at social dating site Zoosk have created a new scientific matching system called, ZSMS.
If you’re already a member of Zoosk, you’ve probably noticed they are sending Scientific Matches already to your InBox. It’s a great way for your to see who you might have romantic chemistry with, but you need to respond quickly as your ZSMS match will expire in 24-hours.
I encourage you to follow up with these leads and see what the possibilities are. Who knows? You might end up featured in our Cyber Love Story of the Week.
For details on how ZSMS and scientific matching works, check out their video below.
Just in time for Social Media Week we are proud to present our Top Ten favorite mobile dating applications at CyberDatingExpert.com
The year 2010 will go down in history for mobile dating becoming mainstream with many of the traditional online dating sites launching their apps. ?A Juniper research study estimates that mobile dating will be a 1.4 billion dollar industry by 2014. ?According to a Ground Truth report, the number of visitors to mobile dating sites increased this past summer by 92 percent from the first week in June to the last week in July. Here’s our list of some of the best mobile dating apps worth downloading.
1. ?Meet Moi – Meet Moi is a location-based mobile dating company which was formed in 2007. In August of 2010, they launched Meet Moi Now, their Android mobile app and became the first matchmaking service to integrate with Facebook. You can sign up for their basic service for free to create your profile, browse profiles, send winks, respond to received messages, and receive unlimited SMS alerts.?They update your location in real-time. When a match is nearby, you get an alert on your phone.
2. ?Match Mobile -?Match.com, who celebrated their 15th anniversary this year, ?launched Match Mobile in 2007. They added their iPhone app in 2009, and their mobile dating service is now also available on the Android, Blackberry and Palm platforms. Users can download Match.com apps to access the Match.com service. Match claims that close to 10% of their users access their site solely from a mobile device. Their mobile users are twice as engaged versus those who use Match on their desktop computers. Members can browse singles, send winks, and upload photos directly from their mobile phone to their profile. A subscription is required to send and receive emails.
3. ?Speed Date – SpeedDate.com launched their mobile app this year and has over 1.5 million unique iPhone installs. Over half of them join their service after their installation. Singles can finger-swipe through millions of profiles, choose who they would like to meet and then start conversations via email.? Advanced filters allow users to narrow searches based on various criteria such as age and location. In addition, a unique tagging feature ensures all favorite member profiles are stored and easily accessible.
4. ?Zoosk ?- Zoosk’s iPhone dating application is the largest dating app in the U.S. It’s also popular in other countries such as Australia, France, Italy and Spain. Users are awarded coins when they download the iPhone app. Their service allows you to chat and flirt wherever you go and you’ll receive a mobile alert when someone flirts with you.? Zoosk won the award for the best Mobile Dating Site at the Internet Dating Conference this year and has consistently been a #1 dating app in the iPhone Store with over 1 million downloads. All of the ?functionalities from their website are available on the iPhone, iPod touch and iPad. Their GPS location tagging capabilities are a feature you’ll want to try out. They will be launching an Android app in the near future.
5. SKOUT – I’ve been following Skout since they laaunched the first-ever dating app for the iPhone in 2008. ?In July, 2010, ?they hit one million users. They have one of the most popular iPhone apps and operate like a flirting and hook-up GPS. Their iPhone app identifies singles in your immediate vicinity and gives you the opportunity to flirt and meet up with them. Though the app is free to use, members have the option of purchasing virtual gifts, premium memberships, or sending “wink bombs” which reach up to 500 potential sweethearts in your area at once.
6. ?eHarmony – Just in time for their 10th anniversary celebration, eHarmony recently launched their iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch service this summer. The app was listed in the Top Ten Free Apps in the App Store and they’ve had over 100,000 downloads. ?Members can view matches, receive match updates, upload photos from their iPhone, and communicate with their matches.
7. Are You Interested – AreYouInterested.com from Snap Interactive?is an?online dating site, mobile dating application, and Facebook app for?single men and?women with over 13 million members. Their service integrates their iPhone and Facebook applications together so you can browse photos of singles in your area and click on who you like. Their buzz feed shows you what people are up to in real time.
8. Grindr – Just this week, Grindr, the world’s largest all-male mobile location-based networking service, announced that it has reached more than one million subscribers. On a daily basis, Grindr has about 250,000 active users who log on approximately eight times per day. The average Grindr user spends an average of 1.3 hours each day using the app. ?These numbers are huge. On a weekly basis, they have about 400,000 users. This amounts to about 600,000 users per month. ?Grindr is available on the iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad. They have plans to expand their service on the Blackberry in the near future.
9. Flirtomatic – Mobile social network Flirtomatic is known as the world’s number one flirting company. Based in the UK, they have over 3 million global members. The good news for U.S. mobile daters, is their membership in the states recently surpassed 1 million users. ?You can set up your profile in about 20 seconds. Their service allows members to search, chat, send rapid messages, rate members and find user generated content about flirting and dating. Flirtomatic has its own?virtual currency called “Flirt Points”?that members can use to buy premium services, such as?virtual goods.? Their service is available on the iPhone and Android platforms.
10. Four Square – I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention location based social networking site Four Square. They aren’t a dating app, but we love them anyway and it’s surely fun to check in. ?You’ll need to be friends with other members on the service to see who’s around when you check in. If you’ve had a crush for a while on someone and you see they’re at the local coffee shop or at the same venue, you can use this as a chance to say hello and get to them better in real life. Available on the iPhone, Android, Blackberry, and Palm.
JDate Mobile -?Launched this year,?JDate Mobile allows their members to receive real-time mobile alerts notifying them when they receive new messages, when another member views their profile, adds them to their hot list and more for free. JDate Mobile features are 100% available for free to their subscribers. Available on the iPhone and Android. Non-paying members of JDate can download the app for free, but ?have limited access to JDate Mobile.
Christian Cafe -?With over 400 new sign ups daily,?Christian Cafe is now available for iPhone users. Their iPhone mobile dating app is fully integrated with their website and singles can sign up for a free trial, create a basic dating profile, search, see who is online in your area and communicate via email and winks. They are presently in development with their Android app.
Do you have a favorite mobile dating app that you’d like to share with us? We’d like to hear from you.
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