Why Women Need to Contact Men Online
At a recent holiday party, I met a single woman who came up to me asking for dating advice. She has had an on-again, off-again relationship with online dating. She was explaining to me in great detail why Internet dating doesn’t work. All of the blame was put on the men, who either didn’t write back to her after one email exchange, or just didn’t write at all.
I asked her if she considered initiating contact with men she found interesting. Her response was, “Absolutely not.” She added, “I’m old fashioned and believe the men need to pursue the women.” When I pointed out that waiting around wasn’t working for her and suggested that she send one email a day to a man she found interesting, or who viewed her profile but was too shy to contact her, she said no. That wasn’t her style. While I agree that men like to pursue women, they get tired of rejection and trying sometimes a gentle nudge, wink, or flirt is good for the male ego. She was clearly unhappy being single.
The point is she may be missing out on meeting a terrific guy who is looking for a girl just like her. Think about it. There are millions of singles online. Sometimes they may pass over your profile. Perhaps they didn’t notice you, had met their daily quota of outbound emails, or started dating someone they wanted to focus on. For whatever reason, Mr. Right doesn’t always find you online. It’s a crowded landscape.
This woman had a good enough profile, but she wasn’t taking action with her life. Sitting around waiting might result in wasting your precious youth. This may sound harsh, but sometimes tough love needs to jump in and take over. I pointed out the importance of the initial week when your profile is brand new and suggested that she initiate a simple and very short email to one gentleman daily for a week so she can get in the habit of being proactive.
After all, sometimes looking for love online is like looking for a job. Headhunters and employers don’t just find you. If you take the same attitude towards your love life, which hopefully has a longer shelf-life than a job, you may come out a winner.
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